Ukunceda umntwana wakho omdala ukuba aziqiniseke unokuba ngumngeni. Ihlabathi liye lakhula ngokukhawuleza kakhulu kwaye likhuphisana. Abantu abadala, ngakumbi abasetyhini abasetyhini, banokuxhalabisa ukuba abahambelani neontanga zabo, kwaye boyike ukuphuma kwindawo yabo yokuthuthuzela . Olu loyiko lokungaphumeleli lunokuba lukhuni kwaye lubangele abantu abadala ukuba balahleke amathuba.
Kodwa kuthekani ukuba ukungafezeki kwakungabonakali njengento embi?
Ukuhlengahlengisa ukungaphumeleli
URyan Babineaux kunye noJohn Krumboltz, iingcali zeengqondo kunye nabacebisi bezemisebenzi, babhala incwadi ethi Fail Fast, Ihluleka Ngokuqhelekileyo, echaza ukuba kutheni ukungaphumeleli kunokwenene kumntu. Ngokuzama izinto ezintsha kunye nokungaphumeleli, abadala abaselula bafunda izakhono zobomi ezibanceda ekugqibeleni baphumelele kwaye baphile ubomi obonwabileyo.
Ukuhlengahlengisa ukungaphumeleli kuyindlela ebalulekileyo yokuba abazali bancede abantwana babo abadala abasenokuba nethemba nokuzithemba. Endaweni yokujonga ukungaphumeleli njengento embi, banceda abantu bakho abaselula bacinge ngako njengethuba. Bakhuthaze ukuba balandele amaphupha abo, nokuba abo babonakala bengenakufikelela. Mkhumbuze ukuba ngenxa yokuba ungethelwa kwinto ethile amaxesha ambalwa akuthethi ukuba awuyi kuze uphumelele. Nokuba i-batter best in baseball ihlasele ngamanye amaxesha, kodwa emva koko ivuka kwakhona kwaye ithemba ukuba inemiphumo eyahlukileyo.
Ulibala Ukuba Ufezekile
Kwincwadi yabo, uBabineaux kunye neKrumboltz baxoxa ngendlela abantu abangakwazi ngayo ukulungiswa kwizinto ezingalunganga ebomini babo.
Ababhali bachonga le ngcamango njengengqwalasela "engekho". Ukungaqwalaselwa kubangela ukuba abantu banamathele kwiimeko kuba baqonda imithintelo emininzi yokuqhubela phambili.
Ngokomzekelo, umntu unokuziva, "andinakufaka isicelo 'kodwa' kuba ndifuna ukulinda uqoqosho ukuze luphucule."
U-Amy Alpert, umqeqeshi wokuphila, uthi lo mnqweno wokuba uphelele okanye usebenze kuphela kwiimeko ezigqibeleleyo yinto eqhelekileyo phakathi kwabaxhasi bakhe abancinci abadala.
UAlpert uyachaza, "Ukuzama ukugqibelela kuyimqobo enkulu. Ngokomzekelo, ngaphambi kokufaka isicelo somsebenzi, banokuxhalabisa kakhulu ngokuqinisekisa ukuba i-resume yabo iphambili ngaphambi kokuthumela. Kodwa ukuyihlolisisa ngokuphindaphindiweyo akusisisombululo esihle. Ukuze ufumane umsebenzi, kufuneka usebenzise. Ngoko, becinga ukuba baye basebenza ekuqhutyweni kwakhona, bekuya kuba ngcono ukuthumela nje kuyo kunokuqhubeka nokuzama ukuyenza iphelele. "
Musa ukugqithisa imeko
Ngokutsho kwencwadi, I-Code Trust kaKatty Kay noClaire Shipman, abafazi abasetyhini abadala baxhalabisa kwaye bakhathazeke ngaphezu kweontanga zabo. U-Alpert uyavuma kwaye uthi, "Ndiyifumana amaninzi amantombazana am amantombazana amesaba ukuba afake isicelo somsebenzi okanye umsebenzi wokuba angaqeqeshelwanga ukuba ahlangabezane nayo yonke imfuno kwiimfuno ezidweliswe. Ngokwahlukileyo, amadoda amancinci akwazi ukuhamba kwaye angakhathazeki kakhulu ngokuba ngumviwa ogqityiweyo. "
Emhlabeni, ukucinga okungaphezulu kungabonakali njengento embi. Emva kwakho konke, abatsha nabaselula bayayaziwa ngokuba bengenangqiqo kwaye oku kungakhokelela ekuziphatheni okuyingozi. Kodwa kukho umehluko omkhulu phakathi kokucinga ngezinto kunye nokuxubusha. UAlpert uyachaza, "andiyikukhuthaza ukuthatha ingozi engafanelekanga kodwa kunokuba ndikhuthaze umfazi oselula ukuba angabhubhisi ixesha.
Yenza isigqibo kwaye uqhubeke phambili. Ukuba kuyisigqibo esifanelekileyo, fundisisa kuyo kwaye uqhubeke. "
Qonda ukuba iNyathelo Elikhokelela Ekukholweni
Abazali banokuphosakela ekucingeni ukuba banokuthi banokuzithemba ngomntwana wabo omdala ngokuzikhusela ekudakaleni. Ithemba lokwenene livela ekuqapheliseni ukuba unako ukubuyisela emuva kwi-backback okanye ukuhluleka.
Abadala abaselula bafumana ukuzithemba ngezenzo zabo. Umqhubi omtsha ovumelekileyo unokungenalo ukuzithemba amaxesha ambalwa ahamba ngawo emgwaqweni omkhulu. Umzali uthi, "Ungumqhubi omhle" akayi kukuqinisa ukuzithemba kwakhe njengoko umqhubi omtsha ephuma apho kwaye eqhuba.
Umzali uthi kumqhubi omtsha, "Ndixhalabile xa usendleleni, andinakulala" kuya kunciphisa ukuzithemba kwakhe. Zama ukukhuthaza. Musa ukudlula ukwesaba kwakho kunye nokungaqiniseki. Kunoko, abazali bafanele bazame ukubeka umzekelo kubantwana babo abadala abadala ngokuphuma kwindawo yabo yokuzikhusela nokuzama izinto ezintsha.