Kutheni Umntwana Wami Ekhala?

Ezi zinokuba zizathu zezilonda zomntwana wakho.

Kuyinto evamile ukuba abantwana belimbezi-kwaye kuyaqhelekile ukuba umzali angakhathazeki ngumntwana okhala rhoqo. Oku kunjalo ngokwenene xa ungeke ukwazi ukuba kutheni umntwana wakho ekhala.

Ngaphambi kokuba ingane yakho ifunde indlela yokuthetha, ingaba nzima ukuqonda isizathu sokuba umntwana wakho akhale. Nangona abantwana beqala ukuthetha ngokucacileyo, isizathu sokuthi umntwana uyakhalayo akunakulungelelaniswa.

Ukuba uke wakha umntwana ekhala ngenxa yokuba i-microwave idle isidlo sasemini, okanye ukuphosa umsindo ngenxa yokuba umxelele ukuba akayi kutya ukutya kweenja, awunabo. Abantwana beza nezizathu ezinomdla zokukhala. Kodwa, gcinani engqondweni ukuba ukukhala kungenempilo-nangaliphi na iminyaka. Uphando olwenziwa ngo-2011 kwi- Journal of Research and Personality lufumene ukuba kukho iimeko ezininzi xa ukukhala kunokunceda abantu bazive bebhetele.

Abaphandi bafumanisa ukuba abantu baziva bebhetele xa bekhala xa benenkxaso yemoya, ukuba ukulila kubangela isisombululo okanye ukuqonda okungcono, okanye ukuba bayakhala ngenxa yesiganeko esihle. Ngoko, iinjongo zakho akusoloko zifuna ukuba umntwana wakho ayeke ukukhala. Ukukhwaza iinyembezi ezimbalwa kunokunceda abantwana. Kodwa, ngaphambi kokuba unqume indlela yokuphendula kakuhle, kubalulekile ukuzibuza, "Kutheni umntwana wam ekhala?" ukuba ufike ngasezantsi.

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Umntwana wakho Uphelile
sudo ithatha / Taxi / Getty Izithombe

Xa umntwana wakho enesifo ngenxa yokumnika isitya esingalunganga okanye umcele ukuba agqoke izicathulo zakhe, ukulala okungancinci kungaba yimbangela yezinyembezi zakhe. Enye yezona zizathu eziqhelekileyo kuba abantwana bekhala ngenxa yokuba banamathele-kwaye kungakhokelela ekuziphatheni okungenangqondo.

Awunakukuthintela ukukhathala komntwana okwexinzelelo kwi-100 pesenti yexesha, kodwa ungayinciphisa ngokumgcina kwishedyuli yokulala. Oku kubandakanya i-naps (ezimbini ezimbini ngosuku ngaphambi kweenyanga ezili-15 ukuya kwezi-18, omnye ngomhla de malunga ne-3 okanye-4 ubudala ubudala) kunye nexesha lokulala elifanelekileyo.

Ixesha apho umntwana afanele aye khona kulala lixhomekeke kwiminyaka yabo kunye naluphi ixesha avuke ngalo, kodwa ixesha lokulala ixesha elihle lihlala phakathi kwe-7 ne-9 nge-PM.

Khangela izibonakaliso zokutshatyalaliswa, njengokugubungela amehlo, ukukhwela okanye ukukhangela elincinci emehlweni. Yaye kuxhomekeke kwixesha lemihla, kunokufanelekile ukubeka umntanakho phantsi kwe-nap ukuze amncede aphinde aphinde alawulwe.

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Umntwana Wakho Ulambile

Nangona abantu abadala baya "baxhoma." Ngenhlanhla, umntwana okanye umntwana omncinci uya kuthiwa xa ufuna i-snack-ngaphandle kokuba edlala kakhulu umdlalo-kodwa kunzima ukuxelela xa umntwana ongeyomlomo elambile.

Kubantwana abancinci, indlala ingaba yindoda yokulila xa evukile ebusweni okanye xa sele ikhefu ezintathu ukuya kwezine ukusuka ekudleni.

Ukuba umncinane wakho akayidli ngexesha elithile kwaye umoya wakhe uhlawule ngokukhawuleza, zama ukumnika umlwanyana omncinane ukuba adle. Ukugcina ukutya okuncinci kwindlela efanelekileyo kunokuncedisa iinyembezi xa ungekho ekhaya.

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Umntwana wakho unqatshelwe

Kubonakala ngathi i-wild and crazy idlala indawo, njengezindlu zokuhlala okanye imikhosi yokuzalwa, yilapho umntwana efuna ukuba khona. Ngexesha elithile, nangona kunjalo, i-hustle and bustle ingaba nzima kakhulu kubantwana. Kwaye kaninzi, abakwazi ukubonisa into engalunganga.

Ngoko unokubona iinyembezi xa umntwana wakho egxininisekile. Ukuba umntwana wakho uyakhala, kubonakala kungekho sizathu, kwaye kwindawo ephakamileyo kakhulu okanye exakekile, zama ukumnika ikhefu. Mthabathe ngaphandle okanye kwindlu egxininisayo kwaye mvumele ahlale phantsi embalwa imizuzu ukuqokelela iibhereth.

Kwabanye abantwana, oku kungenako okwaneleyo; banokudinga ukuya ekhaya ekuseni ukuze bahlangane.

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Umntwana Wakho Ugxininisekile

Ukuxinezeleka kuyisizathu esikhulu sokulila, ngokukodwa kubantwana abancinane. Kodwa, njengomzali omele ahlawule iibhilidi aze asebenze ikhaya elinomatasa, unokuzibuza ukuba yintoni umntwana omele agxininise ngayo.

Impendulo kukuba, izinto ezininzi! Abantwana abadlulileyo-mhlawumbi bephuma kwibhola ukuya kwipiyano ukuze badlale ukudlala ukudlala-banokugxininiswa kakhulu. Bafuna ixesha lokukhulula lokudlala ngobuchule, kunye nokuphumla.

Abantwana banokugxininiswa kwizinto eziqhubekayo kuzo, njengenkathazo emtshatweni wabazali babo, ukuhamba okanye ukuguqulwa kwesikolo, nokuba ziganeko ezivelele kwiindaba ezibusuku. Xa umntwana evakalelwa ngumthwalo wemicimbi yezobandezelo, unokuba ngumntu ongenasiphelo.

Abantwana abaselula abaxinezelekileyo baya kufuna uncedo lwakho lokutshintsha imeko. Ukunciphisa iimeko ezixinzeleleyo kunokubanceda bakwazi ukulawula iimvakalelo zabo.

Abantwana abakhulileyo banokuzuza kwizakhono zokufunda ukulawula uxinzelelo lwabo. Ukusuka ekuziphatheni okuphefumlelweyo nokucamngca ekusebenziseni nasekusebenziseni izinto zokuzilibazisa, imisebenzi yokunciphisa uxinzelelo lokunciphisa umzimba iya kunceda umntwana wakho athole ukulawula kakuhle iimvakalelo zakhe.

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Umntwana Wakho Unqwenela

Kubonakala kungaphumi ndawo-umntwana wakho edlala ngokuzonwabisa, uze ujike umva wakho, kwaye uyabetha. Uyazi ukukhala yindlela enhle yokwenza ingqalelo yakho.

Ingqalelo-nangona xa kunokuziphatha kakubi. Ngoko uthi, "Yeka ukumemeza," okanye "Kutheni ukhalela ngoku?" Unokukhuthaza umntwana wakho ukuba athuthuke.

Ungayihoyi indlela yokufuna ukuziphatha xa kunokwenzeka. Gwema ukuqhagamshelana kwamehlo kwaye musa ukwenza nayiphi na ingxoxo xa umntwana wakho ekhangele ingqalelo yakho. Uya kubona ukuba akumnandi ukuziphosa umsindo okanye ukukhala ngokukhawuleza xa engenazo abaphulaphuli.

Bonisa umntwana wakho angakuthatha ngokudlala kakuhle, usebenzisa amagama anomusa, kwaye ulandela imithetho. Ukunikezela ngokudumisa rhoqo ngalezi ziphatho kwaye akayi kuba lula ukuzama ukusebenzisa iinyembezi ukuze ubambe ingqalelo.

Nika umntwana wakho amanyathelo athile ngokubaluleka. Beka eceleni imizuzu embalwa imihla ngemihla ukuhla phantsi kunye naye, ukudlala umdlalo, okanye ukuphosa ibhola emva nangaphandle. Umntwana wakho uya kuba lula ukukhalela ingqalelo ukuba uyamnika imizuzu embalwa ukuba abe kwindawo yokukhanya yonke imihla.

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Umntwana Wakho Ufuna Into

Iintsana ezincinane aziqondi umahluko phakathi kokufunwa kunye neemfuno. Ngoko xa befuna into, bahlala becinga ukuba bayayifuna ngoku ngoku.

Enoba uzimisele ukudlala kunye ne-heirloom ephukileyo okanye ufuna ukuba umthabise epakini, iintlungu zokudideka nokuphelelwa lithemba kuya kufuneka zenzeke ngexesha elinye.

Ukuba unika emva kokuthi awukho-mhlawumbi ngenxa yokuba uziva unetyala okanye ucinga ukuba awukwazi ukuma ukuphulaphula umntwana wakho-uya kumfundisa ukuba angasebenzisa iinyembezi ukuze akusebenze.

Ngoko nangona kubalulekile ukubonisa uvelwano, ungavumeli iintlungu zakhe ziguqule ukuziphatha kwakho. Yithi izinto ezinje, "Ndiyayiqonda ukuba uziva utyhafile ngoku," okanye "Ndivakalelwa kukuba asikwazi ukuya epakini," kodwa umbonise ukuba ungumzali welizwi lakho.

Ukufundisa ngokufanelekileyo umntwana wakho ngendlela efanelekileyo yokujongana neemvakalelo zakhe xa engafumani into ayifunayo. Ukubala umfanekiso, uthi, "Ndiyabuhlungu ngokwenene," okanye ukuthatha umoya ombalwa nje kukufumana izakhono ezimbalwa ezinokumnceda ukuba ahlangabezane neemvakalelo ezingenakukhathazeka.

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Umntwana Wakho Ufuna Ubaleke Imfuno

Xa umntwana wakho enqwenela ukwenza into-njengokumisa iityiki zakhe okanye ukulungela ukulala-ungabona imisebenzi yamanzi. Iinyembezi zakhe zinokubakho ngenxa yokudabuka kwakhe. Kodwa nabo banokuba yiqhinga.

Ukuba unokukwenza ukuba udibanise naye, nokuba ngaba yimizuzwana, loo mizuzwana engama-60 unokuyeka ukwenza into ayifunayo.

Qinisekisa iimvakalelo zomntwana wakho ngokuthi, "Ndiyazi ukuba kunzima ukuthabatha amathoyizi akho xa ufuna ukuqhubeka udlala." Kodwa, gwema ukuya kwingxoxo emide okanye umzabalazo wamandla.

Nika isilumkiso esisodwa, ukuba kunyanzelekile, esichaza imiphumo yomntwana onokuyilindela xa engayithobeli. Yithi into efana nale nto, "Ukuba awuyi kuthatha iityshi okwangoku, ngoko awuyi kudlala nabo emva kokuhlwa kwasemini." Ukuba umntwana wakho akahambisani noko, landela umphumo.

Kubalulekile ukufundisa umntwana wakho ukuba nangona eziva edabukile okanye enomsindo, unokukwazi ukulandela imithetho. Ngamanye amaxesha umntwana wakho ecasulwa ngenxa yesidingo, kuyithuba lokumnceda afunde ukuthatha inyathelo elifanelekileyo nangona evakalelwa kakubi.

Nini Ukufuna Uncedo Lobugcisa

Ukuba umntwana wakho ubonakala ekhala ngaphezu kweqhelekileyo, khuluma nomntwana wakho. Kukho umbandela wezokwelapha ochaphazelekayo omele ulungiswe kuwo, njengokwanda kwe-ear earned diagnosis.

Emva kokuba wazi ukuba yonke into ilungile, unokusebenza ekunciphiseni iinyembezi kunye. Xa umntwana wakho eqala ukukhala-njengoko uzimisele ukwenza yonke into ngoku kwaye-unokufuna ixesha elincinci lokuzola.

Ukuba udala ngokwaneleyo ukuthetha malunga noko kukukhathazayo, zama ukuthetha. Thetha malunga nendlela yokusombulula ingxaki kunye. Nangona awuyi kukwazi ukulungisa iinyembezi zomntwana okhulelwe kancinci, uya kuqonda ukuba ukhona ukuze uthuthuzele.

> Imithombo

> Belden AC, Thomson NR, uLuby JL. Ixesha leTantrums e-Healthy Versus Depressers and Disruptive Preschoolers: Ukuchazwa kweeTantrum Zizinxulumene neengxaki zeCliniki. Umbhalo wePediatrics . 2008; 152 (1): 117-122.

> Bylsma LM, Croon MA, iiVingerhots A, iJottenberg J. Ngubani na okhalayo ekuphuculeni isimo sengqondo? Ukufundwa kwidayari yansuku zonke yee-1004 zokulila. Umbhalo woPhando ngoBuntu . 2011; 45 (4): 385-392.

> Isibhedlele sabantwana base Seattle: Ngaba ufanele ubone iDokotela ?: Ukukhala Umntwana 3 inyanga kunye noNdala

> Iziko leMfundo yabazali: Ukuqonda imimiselo: Ukuvakalelwa komzwelo.

> Zeifman D, uSt. James-Roberts I. Ukuzala umntwana osana. I-Opinion yangoku kwi-Psychology . 2017; 15: 149-154.