Ngokupheliswa kwegama elithi "Brangelina" kubonwa, ubuncinane kwinqanaba, ukungavumelani malunga nomzali, unokuzibuza ukuba umtshato wakho okanye ulwalamano lwakho lusengozini. Ukwahlukana ngokubeletha yindawo apho izibini ezininzi zizabalazela, kwaye kunokukhokelela ekuqhawuleni umtshato okanye ukuhlala enomsindo xa kungenakuguqulwa. Ingaba ucinga ukuba iqabane lakho liqine kakhulu, lingeneli ngokwaneleyo, okanye lingahambelani xa liza kubazali?
Ngaba ulwa nalo?
Cinga ngezi ngcebiso ukugcina ubuhlobo bakho buqine ngokungafani komzali.
Thetha Ngaphandle
Ngokufanelekileyo, wena kunye neqabane lakho nixoxe ngeendlela zenu zokubeletha ngaphambi kokuba ninqume ukuba nabantwana kunye. Kodwa nangona ungenayo, akusekho ixesha elide ukuqala.
Yabelana ngefilosofi yakho yomzali omnye nomnye. Thetha malunga nendlela owakhulunywe ngayo kunye nento oya kwenza okufanayo, okanye ngokungafaniyo, nabazali bakho. Buza iqabane lakho malunga nezihloko ezinjengeyiphi imfundiso enengqondo ekhangeleka ngathi, yintoni ezwakala ngathi ifanelekile yokulala kwasebuntwaneni, nokuba ngaba abantwana kufuneka bafumane isibonelelo.
Amathuba kukuba, awuyi kuvuma kuyo yonke into. Oko kuthetha ukuba kuya kufuneka wenze ezinye izinto.
Yenza iMithetho kunye
Uzibeka phantsi ngenxa yokungaphumeleli ukuba imithetho yakho yendlu ifana nento, "Yiba luhle, okanye uya kuba neengxaki." Indlela engacacileyo yokuziphatha iyazisa ukungahambisani, ukungaqondani kunye ekugqibeleni, ukulwa.
Wena kunye nomlingani wakho kufuneka uvumelane nemithetho ethile kwaye ubhale phantsi. Ezi zingabandakanya iinkcazo ezinjengexesha ngalinye umntwana alala ngalo, ukuba abantwana kufuneka bacele ngaphambi kokuba badlale ngaphandle kwaye umsebenzi wesikolo kufuneka ugqitywe ngaphambi kokuba kusetyenziswe i-electronics.
Bonisa imigaqo kubantwana bakho kwaye ubuze ukuba banemibuzo.
Zivulekele iingcamango zabo kunye neengcebiso, kwaye wenze utshintsho ukuba zifanelekile. Kulula ukunyanzelisa imigaqo wonke umntu angavuma ngawo.
Misela iziphumo kunye
Wena kunye neqabane lakho kuya kufuneka ukuba nibone ukuba zeziphi iziphumo zokuphula imithetho kwikhaya lakho. Ukuba izitayela zakho zokubeletha zihluke kakhulu, oku kungaba yindawo yokuxabana. Abanye abazali bakhululekile ngokuziphatha, bakhetha ukuthetha nje ngabantwana malunga neephosiso. Abanye abazali baqine kakhulu kwaye bakholelwa ukuba ukuthumela izijeziso ezikhethekileyo yindlela yokugcina ikhaya endleleni.
Ukuba izitayela zakho zokuba ngumzali zintlukwano epheleleyo, kuya kufuneka wenze ezinye izinto. Umzali omnye unokufuna ukuba avume ukuba kuya kuba nemiphumo yokuziphatha kakubi ngelixa omnye umzali angadinga ukuba avume ukuba le miphumo ayifanele ibe nzima ukuba isebenze. Yenza uludwe olubhaliweyo lwemiphumo yokuphula imithetho ethile.
Emuva Ngamanye
Emva kokuba isicwangciso siphelile, kubalulekile ukuba unamathele kuwo kwaye uhambisane. Ubeka yonke intsapho inhlekelele xa omnye wenu elandela isicwangciso, kodwa enye ivumela abantwana ukuba baphule imithetho okanye abayikunyanzelisa ngokumisela ukuthobela imiphumo.
Kuzama ukuvumela abantwana abangenasiphelo ngaphandle kwesijeziso okanye ukuphucula imithetho, kodwa umyalezo osithumelayo abantwana kukuba wena kunye nomlingane wakho unokwahlukana kwaye unqotshwe.
Musa ukungavumelani kwi-Front of the Kids
Ngaphandle kokuba iqabane lakho lixhaphaze ngokwenene nabantwana bakho, musa ukuphazamiseka xa ungavumelani nesinqumo somzali. Abantwana bakho baya kuphawula ngokukhawuleza ukuba kukho ukuphazamiseka kokungaboni, kwaye baya kusebenzisa oku. Musa ukuvumela oku kwenzeka.
Vumela abantwana bakho bazi ukuba wena kunye neqabane lakho kwiphepha elifanayo kwaye ngamnye uxhasa izenzo zezinye. Khupha le siganeko kamva xa wena kunye neqabane lakho nedwa.
Ukuba awukwazi ukulinda, ubuncinane ubuze ukuba uthethe ngasese.
Yiba neFlexible
Indlela umzali abantwana abafanele ngayo ukuguquguquka ngokwaneleyo ukuba batshintshwe njengoko bekhula. Wena kunye nomlingani wakho kufuneka uphinde uhlolisise isakhiwo somzali njengoko kufuneka. Kwakhona, qwalasela ubuntu bomntwana. Abanye abantwana badinga ukuhlolwa kwelinye, ngaphantsi. Ezinye zikhokelela ngakumbi, kwaye ezinye zinezinto ezithandekayo. Isitayela sakho kufanele sibe "entle" kakuhle kwimfuno zomntwana. Ubukhulu obufanayo buhambisana nayo yonke indlela ayikwazi ukusebenza.
Nika ithuba lokuBini
Wonke umzali wenza iimpazamo. Wena kunye nomlingani wakho bobabini baya kwenza isigqibo esibi okanye balahlekelwe ukupholisa kwakho nabantwana ngoku kunye.
Xa iqabane lakho likhangela, ungaqali ukuphosa izikhalazo. Lindela kude kubekho abantwana, kwaye uthethe ngoxolo ngokuphathelele imeko. Emva koko xolela ukuxolelwa. Lo ngumlingani wakho, kungekhona intshaba yakho. Ukuxhasa omnye nomnye kuthetha ezininzi.
Awunalo ukuvumela ukungafani kwimizila yabazali ekuchitheni ubuhlobo bakho. Ukuphulaphula ngokulula komnye nomnye, ukulahla kwizinto ezibalulekileyo kwaye ukuvuma ukuba bobabini kwiqela elifanayo banokuhamba ixesha elide ekukhuliseni intsapho ngokuvisisana. Ngamanye amaxesha abazali bayalibala ukuba baphezulu kwinqanaba lolawulo kwintsapho. Oku kubhekiselele ukuba nina bobabini ngabaphathi kwaye nithetha ntoni. Kodwa, njengokarhulumente okanye ishishini, ukuba iinkokeli azivumelani, iingxabano ziyaqhubeka. Ungathethi ukuba ubeka umzekelo ombi kubantwana. Bakubukele oko wenzayo kwaye banokuphembelelwa yiendlela ngendlela enokubangela ngayo ubomi babo bonke.
Ungesabi ukuphuma ngaphandle kwenkxaso yezobugcisa okanye ufunde ezinye zeencwadi ezifanelekileyo zokubeletha ezikhoyo xa unzima ukuxazulula le mpi. Zama:
- Indlela Yokuthetha Ngoko Abantwana Baza Kuphulaphula & Ukuphulaphula Ngoko Abantwana Bayathetha ngo-Adele Faber no-Elaine Mazlish
- 1-2-3 Umlingo: Uqeqesho olu-3 lweNyathelo loNgcono, oluPhumelelayo, nolonwabileyo ngumzali nguThomas W. Phelan