Ootatomkhulukazi kufuneka bajongane neengxaki ngokunyamekela
Kuyinto intlekele kubagogo nomkhulu xa bengavunyelwanga ukudibanisa nabazukulwana. Kunokuba buhlungu kubazukulu, nabo. Nangona ukunyanzeliswa kwamalungelo okutyelela kunokwenzeka, ukuphepha iingxabano zentsapho kunqweneleka kakhulu.
Ukuziphatha-Ukuhlukana noTatatomkhulu
Ngamanye amaxesha abazali banelungelo lokukhanyela ootata kunye noogogo.
Abantu abanobugqwetha ngokwesini, abaxakile okanye abaxhaphazi bomzimba abahlala behlambulule izenzo zabo nje ngokuba baba ngootatomkhulu, kwaye abazali banelungelo lokungafuni abantwana babo bajikeleze.
Abazali banelungelo lokukhanyela ukuqhagamshelana nootatomkhulu onokuzithoba imithetho yomzali malunga nokukhusela. Ootatomkhulu othutha abazukulu ngaphandle kokusebenzisa ukukhuseleka kweemoto ezifanelekileyo kufuneka bangavunyelwa ukuba baqhube nabazukulwana babo naphi na. Kuyafana nawuphi na omnye umgaqo-ukhuseleko osekwe ngabazali, nokuba ootatomkhulu bayavumelana nalo okanye cha. Ukuba ukuphulwa kakubi kakhulu, abazali banokuqwalasela ukuvumela ootatomkhulu ukuba babone abazukulu, kodwa kuphela phantsi kweemeko ezilawulwayo.
Ezinye izenzo kunye nootatomkhulu abanokubangela ukuba ingxabano yentsapho ibe lula kubandakanya oku kulandelayo:
- Ukunqanda igunya labazali okanye ukukhuthaza abantwana ukuba bangabaphulaphuli abazali
- Ukuthetha kakubi kwamanye amalungu entsapho, njengabazali, abazali okanye abanye ootatomkhulu
- Ukugatya ukulandela imithetho yabazali malunga neentshukumo zokutya, ukuhamba kweTV, ixesha lokulala kunye nezinto ezinjalo
- Ukunika izizukulwana zabazali abangenakuyivuma
- Abaxinzelelo kubazali ukuba banxibelelane ngokubanzi, njengokutyelela ebusuku, xa abazali bexhala.
Iintsapho kufuneka zikwazi ukusombulula le micimbi engathà sina ngaphandle kokunciphisa umnxibelelwano phakathi kootatomkhulu kunye nabazukulu, kodwa ukubheja okulungileyo kukuphepha ukuziphatha okunjalo kwindawo yokuqala.
Iisongelo ekuFikeleleni okuqhelekileyo
Ukutshatyalaliswa kokungaziphathi kakubi, ukulindela komthetho kukuba ootatomkhulu banokufikelela kubazukulu babo ngomzali onyana babo. Oku kulindeleke ukuba kube yinyaniso kwiintsapho ezihambelanayo kunye nakwiimeko apho abazali bengabikho kunye. Ngamanye amaxesha, nangona kunjalo, umzali osebenza njenge-grandparent portal kubazukulwana abalahlekelwa ukudibana nabo. Oku kuya kwenzeka ngenxa yezizathu ezimbalwa, eyona nto iyingozi kakhulu, kukuba, ukufa komzali. Ezinye iimeko ezinzima ziquka:
- Abazali abatshatanga, kwaye uyise akazange alondoloze amalungelo akhe omzali.
- Umzali unikezele amalungelo akhe omzali.
- Umzali uvalelwe.
- Umzali uvinjelwe ekuboneni umntwana ngenxa yokusetyenziswa gwenxa kweziyobisi, umthetho wesondo okanye into efanayo.
- Umzali ogcinwe ngumgcini uhamba umgama omde kude nogogo nomkhulu.
- Umzali oqhele ukunikezela ukufikelela kubazukulu uhamba umgama omde kude.
Enye imeko eqhelekileyo eyenza ootatomkhulu ukuba banqunywe kubazukulu babo, xa abazali bebaxhaphaza ngokweziyobisi. Abazali abasebenzisa ngokwemvelo bafuna ukugcina imichimo yabo imfihlo. Umzekelo oqhelekileyo kukuba okokuqala basebenzisa oogogo nomkhulu njengabantwana, bavumela abazali ukuba banelungelo lokuzikhupha.
Ukuba ootatomkhulu baya kubamba oko kwenzekayo, okanye umlutha wabazali uba nzima kangangokuba kunzima ukufihla, ngokuqhelekileyo abazali bayaphula kunye nootatomkhulu, ukuba banganaki ithuba lokungabikho. Ukwehlukana kwentsapho okunjalo kunokuba kubi kakhulu kwaye kunokubeka ootatomkhulu kwisimo esingenakukwazi ukuxhathisa amalungelo okutyelela.
Ezinye iingxabano zentsapho
Ezinye iimbambano ezinzulu kakhulu zingakhokelela kwintsapho. Ngokutsho kwengcali yeengqondo uMarsha L. Shelov, iimeko ezintathu zingabangela iingxabano phakathi kwabazali nogogo nomkhulu:
- Abazali nonogogo nomkhulu abavumelani nemibandela enjengeenkolelo.
- Kukho ubunzima phakathi kootatomkhulu nomzali; Unina-mkhwenkwe / umkhwenkwe-ntlanzana uninzi kakhulu.
- Impikiswano emdala yabazali nomntwana "ihlalela kwisizukulwana esilandelayo."
Le miba ingabangela iingxabano zeentsapho ezinzulu kodwa oko kunokubakho ukuxhatshazwa xa oogogo nomkhulu badibanisa kunye nokuhlala. Njengoko kunzima kunokuba kuba nootatomkhulu okholelwa ukuba bakulungile, kufuneka banike umncinci ukukhetha ukuyeka ukudibanisa nabazukulwana. Ululeko lwentsapho lunokuba luncedo ekujonganeni neengxabano ezibuhlungu kakhulu, ngakumbi ukuba ziquka ukungquzululwa kwengxabano yabazali-abantwana.
Ezinye iingxabano zentsapho zixhalabisa imali. Ootatomkhulu othabathe igalelo kubantwana babo ngezinye iinkqubo banomngcipheko wokunciphisa uncedo lwemali ngaphandle kweemeko ezithile. Ootatomkhulu okhetha ukunika uncedo lwemali kufuneka banike ngokukhululekile kwaye bayeke ukusebenzisa imali njengendlela yokulawula. Ngaphandle kwelo mgaqo, kunjalo, xa oogogo nomkhulu bavuma ukuhlawula i-private school, iikholeji, okanye izifundo ezizodwa okanye ukuqeqesha abazukulu babo. Kule meko, banelungelo lokufuna ukuba igalelo labo lisetyenziswe njengoko lichongiwe.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, abazali bangasebenzisa ukudibanisa nabazukulu ngendlela efanayo, ngokusongela ukuthintela umnxibelelwano ngaphandle kokuba iimfuno zemali zidibene. Abazali abaye bafumana iimali-mboleko kubazali nootata banokunquma ukunxibelelana ukuze banciphise uxinzelelo lokubuyisela imali mboleko. Naluphi na ukuthengiselana kwemali phakathi kwezizukulwana kufuneka kubhekiswe iliso kwiinkqubela eziza kwenziwa.
Ukungqubuzana komntu oqhelekileyo okanye ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo?
Bobabini abazali kunye nootata-nkulu ababandakanyekayo kwiingxabano maxa wambi bachaza amanye amaqela njengengqondo engaphazamisekiyo. Iindleko eziqhelekileyo kukuba elinye iqela lingumqambimanga onyanzelekileyo, liyi-bipolar okanye libhekene ne-narcissistic personality disorder. Iindleko ezinje zivame ukubonakala kumazwana athunyelwe kwi-intanethi kulabo bachaphazelekayo kwimibango yentsapho. Ngamanye amaxesha abantu abanombuzo baye bafumanisa ukuba bane-disorder, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha umntu udlala isigulo sengqondo somculi. Ukuba umzali okanye ootatomkhulu ochaphazelekayo kwimpikiswano uyagula ngokwenene, yonke inzame kufuneka yenziwe ukufumana uncedo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukulinganisa iindleko ezinjalo kumntu nje ngenxa yokungavumelani kukunyundela kwaye kungaba nokuvelisa okuvelisa. Kungcono ukugxila ekujonganeni nongxabano.
Imida yeBreaching
Ingxaki eqhelekileyo phakathi kwezizukulwana ibangelwa ootatomkhulu abangayihloneli imida. Olu hlobo lophulo lungathatha ifomu lokuphula imida yangokwenyama, njengokungena kumalungu entsapho nokungena ngaphandle kokonkqoza. Xa imida ephulwayo imida phakathi kobazali kunye nozala kunye, ukuphulwa komthetho kubaluleke kakhulu.
Le meko iphinda ibonakale xa abazali abancinci befuna uncedo kunye noogogo nomkhulu bacinga iimbopheleleko zabazali. Ngamanye amaxesha ootatomkhulu banokuthi bacinga ukugcinwa. Ngokuqhelekileyo banikela ngononophelo lwabantwana kwaye kaninzi uncedo lwemali. Ukuba ngaba abazali banquma ukubuyisela amalungelo abo omzali, oogogo nomkhulu ngezinye iinkhathi banenkxwaleko yokuwayeka. Ngokuqhelekileyo umphumo kukuba ootatomkhulu abakhulu kakhulu nabazukulwana babo banqunyulwa kubo ngabazali banqwenela ukufumana i-turf yabo yomzali. Oogogo nabahlakaniphile banqanda ukunyuka kwabo ngokucela umonde kubazali njengoko benza utshintsho kwaye bavuselele ithuba lokunandipha abazukulu babo njengootatomkhulu kunokuba babe noxanduva oluninzi lwenxaxheba yabazali.