Iingcebiso Zokuthandana Nomzali Ongabodwa: Oko Ukwenza Xa Umntwana Wakho Uthiyile Umhla Wakho
Ukuthandana nomzali ongatshatanga akukho nto ngaphandle kokuxinezeleka. Akunzima kuphela ukufumana ixesha lokuqalisa, kodwa abantwana bakho banokuba neengcamango ezinzulu malunga nokukhetha kwakho, naye. Enyanisweni, oomama bekhala esithi "Uncedo! Iintsapho zam zithiyile intombi yam!" akukho konke okuqhelekanga, kodwa ngaba kufuneka kube ngumntu oqhelana naye? Nantsi into enokuyenza xa oku kwenzeka kuwe:
Xa Abantwana Bakho Bazonda Umhlobo Wakho
Lo mbuzo onomdla uvela kumfundi ogama linguJane, othi umntwana wakhe uyamthiya isoka lakhe.
Nantsi into ayenokuthi:
Ndiminyaka engama-33 ubudala, mna kwaye ndinabantwana ababini, abaneminyaka engama-6 no-9. Umntwana oneminyaka engama-6 ubudala uyamthanda umntu endithandana naye, kodwa unyana wam oneminyaka engama-9 ubudala uyamthiya umfana wam! Oku kundikhathalela kakhulu. Siye sathandana kangangokuba phantse iminyaka emithathu, kodwa ukungabikho kokufudumala phakathi kwabo kuyinkinga kumfana wam, kwaye kuye kwaba yindlela enkulu yokubambisana. Ndingenza ntoni?
Indlela oyiphendula ngayo xa umntwana wakho esithiyile intombi yakho ibalulekile kuba uthetha kwimeko yokulinganisela iimfuno zakho kwiimfuno zezingane zakho. Makhe sihlolisise umba ngokungakumbi.
Kuphi ukuqala
Umbuzo wam wokuqala kuwe: Ngaba unenkinga ngokuziphatha komntwana wakho? Ndiyazibuza ukuba ngaba iqabane lakho libhekisela ekunciphiseni kwonyana wakho ukuxhuma kunye nokwakha ubudlelwane naye, nokuba ngaba kukho enye imicimbi yokuziphatha echaphazelekayo.
Ukuba unenkinga ngokuziphatha komntwana wakho, ndiya kukucebisa ukuba uqale apho.
Yenza oku phambi kokuba wenze ezinye i zigqibo. Unokufumanisa kwakhona ukuba kufuneka ukhawule ixesha lakho kude nezingane xa ujongana neengxaki zokuziphatha oziphetheyo.
Qinisekisa iNgxaki
Uninzi lwabantu luza kukuxelela ukuba ukuba umntwana wakho uyamthiya isoka lakho, kufuneka uphelise ngokuzenzekelayo ubuhlobo.
Nangona kunjalo, uneminyaka engama-9 ubudala unolwazi olwaneleyo ukwazi ukuba ubuhlobo bomtshato bomzali bunokuthatha ixesha kunye nokunyamekela kuye, kwaye indlela esheshayo yokuvukela oko kukugatya umntu othandana naye. Ngoko ke, kubalulekile ukuba unqume ukuba unyana wakho 'uyamthiya' isoka lakho ngenxa yezizathu ezifanelekileyo ukuba awunakuboni, okanye ukuba unyana wakho kufuneka aqonde ukuba ngoxa yena nomntakwabo beyona nto ephambili, abalawuli sigqibo owenzayo.
Ukuze uqiniseke ukuba ukunyaniseka kwendodana yakho akusekelwe kwisizathu esihle sokuba ungamthandi umfana wakho, ndiyakucebisa ukuba ndicele abahlobo abasondeleyo okanye amalungu entsapho ukuba ngaba banenkxalabo. Ukuba benza, ngoko kufuneka uhlawule ngokungqalelo ukuba ngaba lo buhlobo olufanelekileyo.
Thetha Ngaphezu KoNyana Wakho
Nangona kunjalo, ukuba ucinga ukuba unyana wakho uyamzonda iqabane lakho kumzame wokuqalisa umzabalazo wamandla, ndiyakucebisa ukuba udwebe ixesha kunye nonyana wakho ukuba uxoxe ngobudlelwane. Ukuba ucinga ukutshata kwakhona ngexesha elithile, vumela unyana wakho azi ukuba unomnqweno onayo. Ukuba kufanelekile, unokwenza ukuba unyana wakho azi ukuba nawe, udidekile ukuba ubuhlobo bakho noyise abukwazi ukuhlanjululwa, kwaye ngenxa yoko, ulungele ukuqhubeka.
Hamba uye wabelane naye ezinye zeendlela ozozijonga kumntu, kwaye mxelele ukuba isoka lakho lidibana njani nale migaqo. Ngokomzekelo, "Ndifuna ngokwenene umntu ondiphatha ngenhlonipho kwaye unomdla kwaye unomdla." Emva koko, wabelane ibali okanye ezimbini malunga nexesha lakho xa iqabane lakho lityhila loo mpawu kuwe.
Gqiba intetho ngokuxelela unyana wakho ukuba uyamthanda ngaphandle kokuzimela kwaye unethemba lokuba uya kukuxhasa ngenkoliso yakho. Ukongeza, mbuze ukuba kukho nayiphi na into onokuyenza ukuze wenze lula ukuguquka kuye .
Xa usenayo loo ncoko, ndiya kubonisa ukudala amathuba enyana yakho kunye nekwenkwenkwe yakho ukuba wazi kakuhle ngenye indlela ngendlela engasongelayo.
Ngokomzekelo, zama ukuphuma endlwini kwaye wenze into ejabulisayo kunye, kwaye ubone indlela ithuba lokudlala kunye kunye nefuthe labo ubudlelwane.
Idilesi nayiphi na inkxalabo onayo kunye nesoka lakho, Njalo
Ngexesha elifanayo, ukuba uvakalelwa ukuba inkwenkwe yakho ilukhuni kunyana wakho okanye unelindelo elingenangqondo, kufuneka uxoxe naye ngale miva. Ukuthabatha izinto kwizinga elilandelayo ngaphandle kokuxazulula umba obalulekileyo kunokuba sisimemo sokungaboni ngaso linye phakathi kwonyana wakho kunye nesoka lakho.
Ekugqibeleni, yenza umgudu wokunyamekela ngakumbi unyana wakho ngelixa usebenza kule nkxalabo. Ukujamelana nokuqhawula umtshato kunokuba nzima ngokwaneleyo kwiintsana, nangaphandle kokungenelela ukuthandana nomxube. Kwaye kungenzeka ukuba unyana wakho uyamzonda intombi yakho ngaphandle kwendlela yokufuduka okanye ukushiya ngaphandle. Naliphi na umgudu onokumisela ukuxazulula loo mvakalelo kuya kuhamba ixesha elide ekufezeni umqondo wokuvisisana owufunayo.