Yinyaniso enobungozi boongikazi bokubeletha ukuba ezininzi iintsana endizinakekelayo zizalwa zigula kakhulu okanye zisondele ukuba ziphile. Ngethamsanqa, ukufa komntwana kuyinto engavamile, kodwa oko akuwenzi kube lula ukunyamekela xa usana lufa.
Ukuba ungumzali wengane efile, ingaba umntwana wakho wafa ngenxa yeengxaki zokungcoliswa kwangaphambili okanye kwesinye isizathu, intliziyo yam iya kuphuma kuwe.
Ukubuhlungu kokufa kwengane yinkqubo enkulu, ibuhlungu. Nangona ezi zicwangciso zokujamelana aziyi kuthatha intlungu yakho, ndiyathemba ukuba iya kuba lula ukunyamezela.
Ukubuhlungu Ukufa kweNtsana
Ukuba umntwana wakho wayesekudala, intlungu yakho yayiqale ngaphambi kokuba umntwana wakho afe. Usenokuba unomdla wokubonisa isisu esikhulu kwisantya sakho somntwana, ukubamba umntwana wakho osandul 'ukuzalwa, ukumthuthuzela ngeseshoni eside. Ukufa kwintsana engaphambi komntwana kwandisa intlungu yakho ngokucacileyo. Kuyinto engokwemvelo ukuvakalelwa kukuba usizi lwakho lukhulu, nokuba awuyi kuphinda uzive uqhelekileyo kwakhona.
Kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba wonke umntu usila ngokuhlukileyo kwaye akukho ndlela efanelekileyo okanye engalunganga yokulila. Kukho iinqanaba ezintlanu zentlungu abazali abaninzi abaya kukhanyela, ukuvutha, ukuxoxisana, ukuxinezeleka kunye nokwamkelwa. Kodwa ezi zide zodwa iimvakalelo abazali abazenza emva kokufa komntwana.
U no kuziva kwakhona:
- U netyala
- Ngenamandla
- Ukuxhatshazwa
- Ukugula okanye ukugula
- Uphelile
- Nje ubomi bulahlekelwe intsingiselo
- Njengoko awuyi kuze uqhubeke
- Ukunceda ukuba umzabalazo wakho usuphelile
- Naliphi inani lezinye iimvakalelo
Emva kokufa komntwana, kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba uzive ngathi intlungu yakho inzima kakhulu kangangokuthi awukwazi ukusinda.
Nangona kunjalo, ukuba ufumanisa izicwangciso zokuzibulala, nceda ufune uncedo olukhawulezileyo. Ukuba uzifumanisa ukwenza izicwangciso zokuzibulala, zikhona iinombolo zokuzibulala okanye ezinye abantu onokuzibiza ngubani oza kukunceda ngamaxesha enzima entlungu yakho.
Ukujamelana Nentlungu Yakho
Nangona akukho nto iya kwenza umntwana wakho othandekayo abuyele kuwe, kukho izicwangciso ezinokubangela ukuba ukufa komntwana wakho kube lula ukuza kuthwala. Njengoko intlungu ibonakala ihluke kubantu abahlukeneyo, ukujamelana nentlungu kunokungafani kakhulu nomzali omnye. Kwaba phakathi kwabazali banye umntwana, oko kunceda ukunciphisa intlungu yomzali omnye akunakunceda nakwezinye. Sebenzisa iindlela zokuphatha ezikunceda ukuphilisa, kodwa uyazi ukuba kulungile ukushiya ngasemva.
- Hlala U kufuphi Nomntwana Wakho: Ukuchitha ixesha kufuphi nendawo owabeka kuyo umntwana wakho ukuphumla kunokukunceda uzive ufuze kuye kwaye ukhumbule umntwana wakho. Ukuchitha ixesha kunye nomzimba wengane yakho emva kokufa kunokunceda ukuhlukana ngokwasemzimbeni kwaye kukuvumela ukuba uthethe.
- Hlalani nisondele kwiNkqubo Yenkxaso Yenu: Abangane kunye namalungu omndeni banikela umthombo onamandla kakhulu nenkxaso kubazali abaninzi abasweleyo. Ukuthetha nabahlobo kunye nosapho kunokuqinisekisa iimvakalelo zakho njengoko wenza izigqibo ezinzima malunga nokuphela kokunyamekela impilo kunye nolungiselelo lomngcwabo wengane yakho. Kwabanye abazali, kumntu okanye kwiinkampani zenkxaso yokulahlekelwa kwe-intanethi kunceda kakhulu.
- Ukugcina iMemori Yakho Yowesana: Abazali abaninzi abanomntwana oye wafa ingxelo yokuba i-mementos yenyama yabo ibaluleke kakhulu kubo. Bambelela ngokulula kwiifoto, ukuvala iinwele, ukunyathela kweenyawo kunye nezinye izikhumbuzo zomzimba zentsana yakho. Ukudala isikhumbuzo somntwana wakho, njengomthi osandul 'utshalwa, kunokukunceda ugcine imemori yakhe iphila, njengoko inokumhlonela umntwana wakho kwimibhiyozo ngokukhanyisa ikhandlela okanye ukukhulula ibhaluni.
- Khangela Ukholo Lwakho: Iintsapho ezinokholo oluqinileyo zivakalisa ukuba ukholo lwabo kuThixo lwanceda bajamelane nokufa komntwana wabo. Abazali abaninzi abathembela elukholweni lwabo okanye ababuyela kwienkolelo zonqulo abaye baqala ukuyeka kuzo, babike ukuba ukholo lwabo lwabancedisa ukuba bafumane intsingiselo yobomi babo obutshanyana.
- Cinga nge-Altruism: Ukubuyisela ebantwini kunokunceda abazali abaninzi ukuba babhekane nokufa komntwana wabo. Ukuba utyumbile ubisi lwebele, cinga ukunikela ubisi lwakho kwibhankini yobisi ukuze uncede ezinye iintsana ezigulayo ngaphambi kokubeleka. Ukuzithandela esibhedlele apho umntwana wakho afa khona kunokukunceda uzive udibene nesibhedlele kunye nosana lwakho, kwaye ukuthatha inxaxheba kumaqela okuxhasa kunokukuvumela ukuba uncede ezinye iindwendwe ezijongene nokulahleka.
Ukuphilisa nokuhamba ngaphandle kokulibala
Xa usana lwakho lufa, unokuvakalelwa kukuba ubomi abuyi kuphinda buve ngokuqhelekileyo okanye ukuba intlungu yakho ayisoze yaphela. Kodwa ekugqibeleni, uya kuqala ukuziva ngathi intlungu yakho ayibuhlungu kakhulu kwaye uqala ukufumana uvuyo ebomini bakho kwakhona. Nangona umntwana wakho uya kuhlala eyingxenye yakho kwaye usenokuhlala uziva ulusizi ngenxa yokufa komntwana wakho, uqala ukuphilisa.
Imithombo
Brosig, CL, Pierucci, RL, Kupst, MJ & Leuthner, SR. Ukunyamekela kweMpilo yoLutsha: I-Parents's Perspective " Journal of Perinatology (2007) 27: 510-516.
I-Capitulo, K. "Ubungqina bokuPhulukiswa kokuPhulukiswa ngokuBhujelwa kwePerinatal" I-American Journal yoLondolozo lwabantwana bamaMama / Novemba 2005. 30: 389-396.
UDavis, D. kunye no-Stein, M. Ukuzala umntwana wakho osengaphambi kokusana kunye nomntwana: Uhambo lomzwelo I-Fulcrum; Golden, Colorado, 2004.