Njengengxenye yokujamelana nokukhulelwa komzimba okanye ukubeleka , abazali abathile ababuhlungu bafumanisa ukuba kunceda ukunika umntwana igama njengendlela yokukhumbula okulahlekileyo. Abanye bakhetha ukungakhethi igama, ingakumbi ukuba isisu senzekile ekuqaleni kokukhulelwa ngaphambi kokuba isini sinqunywe. Bangavakalelwa kukuba ukunika umntwana igama lidala ukulahleka kukuziva kunene, okanye bavele bazive bengalindelekanga ukubiza umntwana ongeke azalwe.
Kungakhathaliseki ukuba ukhetha ntoni, kufuneka wenze oko kuvakalelwa kukulungile kwaye akukho ndlela efanelekileyo kubo bonke abantu.
Izinto ezifanele ziqwalaselwe ngokubiza igama lomntwana olahlekileyo
Ukuba ukhetha ukubiza umntwana wakho, nantsi ezinye izinto oza kuziqwalasela:
- Abafazi abakhulelweyo bahlala bebhekisela kumntwana obethwele ngeqheno; mhlawumbi ubhekisela ekukhulelweni kwakho njengeJellybean okanye iPeanut. Kulungile ukugcina loo magama ngaphandle kokuba ivakalelwa kakhulu.
- Ukuba unelungelo elikhethiweyo lokuba umntwana, unokucinga ukuba usebenzisa igama. Abazali abaninzi banokukhetha ukugcina igama abo babenalo xa bekhulelwe kwakhona, kodwa kunokubangela izikhumbuzo ezibuhlungu zokukhulelwa komzimba.
- Cinga ukusebenzisa igama oyithandayo kodwa ongayisebenzisi umntwana ozayo, njengowomntu ohlonipha isihlobo esipheleleyo, okanye isihlobo esidlulileyo. Ukuba nombutho onjalo onjalo ngegama ogqithiselayo ukutshatyalaliswa kwakho okanye ukuzalwa komzimba kunganceda ngexesha elide.
- Sebenzisa igama elinentsingiselo kuwe nangona alikho igama lobuchwepheshe. Igama lomntwana wakho ongekho mntwana alinakusetyenziswa ngumntu ngaphandle kwakho kunye neqabane lakho, ngoko ke isigqibo ongayenza ngaphandle kokufunwa ngabanye.
- Cinga ngegama elingabandakanyekanga ngokobulili xa ukulahleka kokubeleka kwenzeke ngaphambi kokuba kunokwenzeka ukucacisa isini sakho sesini, okanye ukuba uvakalelwa ngenye indlela okanye ngesini ngesini lesini, unokuziva ukhululekile unike umntwana wakho igama elifanelekile ngokobulili . Khumbula, akukho nto ephosakeleyo apha, kufuneka wenze oko kuvakalelwa wena kunye neqabane lakho.
Into efanelekileyo ilungile kuwe
Nangona ukhetha ukukhumbula ukulahlekelwa kwakho, kuya kuba sisigqibo esifanelekileyo kuwe. Musa ukunyanzeliswa ukuba wenze nantoni na eve buhlungu kakhulu, kwaye ungavumeli umntu akhulume ngokukwenza into evakalelwa kukuba wena kunye neqabane lakho.
Ayikho imigaqo malunga nokuba ubani omele akhathazeke ngale ndlela yokulahleka okanye nayiphi na ilahleko yaloo nto, ngoko zinike ithuba kunye nexesha lokugqiba oko kusebenzayo. Nangona ungagqibi ukubiza igama lakho elibi okanye ozalwe ngumntwana ngokukhawuleza, ukuba ufuna ukukhetha igama emva koko, oko kukuthi kuwe.
Ezinye iindlela Zokukhumbula Umntwana Olahlekileyo
Kukho iindlela ezahlukeneyo ongakhumbula ngayo umntwana wakho. Abanye abantu bakhetha ukungenzi nto ebonakalayo kwaye bakhetha ukulila enhliziyweni yabo yedwa, kanti abanye bakubona kuncedo ukuba babe nendlela ebonakalayo yokukhumbula ubomi babo bomntwana.
Ngubani ongathandi iintyatyambo? Kukho into malunga neentyantyambo eziduduzayo emva kokulahleka. Mhlawumbi ngenxa yokuba zikhumbuza ngokucacileyo isangqa sobomi, kwaye zisikhumbuze ngokuzalwa kwakhona. Nazi ezinye zeengcamango zokutshala isikhumbuzo somntwana wakho ngendlela enhle.
Ukujamelana nokulahleka kokukhulelwa
Kanye njengoko kuya kuhluka kumntu omnye ukuya kwelinye malunga nokuba ufuna ukubiza igama lomntwana wakho okanye ukhumbule ubomi bakhe ngenye indlela, akukho ndlela efanelekileyo yokulila.
Ngelishwa, intlungu emva kokutshatyalaliswa okanye ukubeleka kudla ngokugqithiswa yimiba yekliniki yokunyamekela esibhedlele. Ukuba ugqirha wakho akayi kuvelisa intlungu yakho nentlungu, akuthethi ukuba utyhafisa indlela ozivakalelwa ngayo. Amachiza aseNtshonalanga aseNtshonalanga ayenzile ukuxhaswa kwabasetyhini ngeendlela ezithile ekugxininiswe kwizinto eziphathekayo zokunyamekela.
Ukuphuphuma kwesisu kungaholela ekubandezelekeni nasekudakaleni . Ukuba ufumene nzima ukujamelana nayo, kubalulekile ukuthetha nodokotela wakho. Akunjalo uphawu lobuthathaka, kodwa kunoko uphawu lobutyebi lokufuna uncedo ekujonganeni nale ntlupheko ebalulekileyo ebomini bakho.
Ezinye iinkxalabo emva kokulahleka kokukhulelwa
Ukongeza kwizigqibo malunga nokukhumbula umntwana wakho kunye nokujongana nokulahlekelwa kwakho, kukho ukuxhalabisa okunye. Ngokomzekelo, zeziphi iindlela ezifanelekileyo zokudala ukukhulelwa kwesisu kunye nokulahlekelwa ngumntwana kubantwana ?
Ekugqibeleni, umbuzo onzima kakhulu xa uceba ukulungiselela umngcwabo emva kokuphuma kwesisu ?
Imithombo:
UMarkin, R. Yiziphi iiklinikhi ezilahlekileyo malunga nokungahlawuliseki: Iiphene zeNtsholongwane kwiNyango yeThuba lokuQala ukuPhumela kwePerinatal. Psychotherapy . 2016. 53 (3): 347-53.