Iindlela ezifanelekileyo zokudala ukulahleka kokukhulelwa kubantwana bakho
Xa ukukhulelwa kwesisu kuhlasela, ngamanye amaxesha abantu abanzima kakhulu ukuthetha nabo ngabanye abantwana bakho. Ngokuxhomekeke kwiminyaka yabantwana bakho, nokuba uyabaxelela ngokukhulelwa okanye akunjalo, unokufuna ukuthetha into ethile-kwaye njengokuba umzali, kunokuba nzima ukuba ufumane oko. Nazi ezinye izinto omele uzigcine engqondweni xa uthetha nabanye abantwana malunga nokukhulelwa kwesisu okanye ukuzalwa komntwana .
Ukuthetha Nabantwana Abadala Ngokuphathelele Ukutshatyalaliswa Kwakho okanye iNyanga
Ukuba abanye abantwana bakho baselula (okanye baxhomeke phambili), into enokuyenza yinto ephambili kwaye ichaze oko kwenzekayo ngokwemigaqo yokuba bayayiqonda. Qinisekisa ukuba ulungile kwaye ukuba ukutshatyalaliswa kwegazi okanye ukubeletha akuthethi nto into ephosakeleyo kuwe; bazise ukuba ezi zinto zenzeka ngezinye iinkhathi. Thetha ngezizathu zokubangela ukuphazamiseka komzimba kunye nokuzalwa komntwana kwaye uchaze ukuba akukho nto iyenziwe ngokungafaniyo ukukhusela ukulahlekelwa.
Qaphela ukuba abantwana bakho abadala bayakukhathazeka ngokulahlekelwa ngumntwana kunye nawe. Umntwana olahlekileyo ngumntakwenu umntakwenu okanye udadewabo omdala, kwaye unokuziva ulahlekelwa ngumntu xa eva iindaba zokusweleka kwesisu.
Kukulungele ukuvumela umntwana wakho omdala ukuba akuncede akuthuthuzele, ngokungakhathaliseki ukuba uyazi ukuba usizi. Kule ndlela, ukungahambi kakuhle komzimba kunokusondeza intsapho yakho, kwaye vumela abantwana bakho abadala ukuba basebenzise ububele.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, oku akukhiphi kwintlungu yakho okanye intlungu yakhe nonke kodwa mhlawumbi enye encinane "yesiliva yokulala" kumava akho.
Ukuthetha Nabantwana Abancinci Ngokuphathelele Ukutshatyalaliswa Kwakho okanye iNyanga
Kubantwana abancinci, ukuba ubaxelele ngokukhulelwa ngaphambi kokulahleka, kuya kufuneka ukuba uchaze ukuba kwenzeka okuthile.
Kwakhona, qiniseka ukusebenzisa amagama awaqondayo. Abantwana abancinci abanako ukuqonda amagama anjenge "ukuphuphuma kwesisu" kwaye banokufuna iinkcazelo ngokulula.
Ukuba abantwana bakho bancinci ukuba baqonde umxholo wokukhulelwa, okanye ukuba awuzange utshele abantwana bakho malunga nokukhulelwa, ungakhetha ukwahlula ulwazi malunga nokukhulelwa komzimba. Khumbula ke, ukuba abantwana bavame ukuthabatha imvakalelo yabantu abadala ababajikelezile, ngoko kuzama ukuqonda ukuba abantwana bakho abancinci banamathele ngakumbi okanye bahlasele ngakumbi. Basenokuthi baqokelele into yokuba uziva uhlungu, kwimeko apho ungadinga ukubanika uhlobo oluthile lokuchaza.
Akuyiphutha labo
Ukuba abantwana bakho baneminyaka eyaneleyo yokuqonda ukuba uyadabuka, nayiphi na inkcazo oyikhethayo, qi niseka ukuba ugxininisa ukuba akuyiyo iphoso labo. Chaza ukuba uMama (okanye uTata) udabukile ngenxa yokulahleka umntwana kwaye kungekhona ngenxa yantoni na eyenzayo, kwaye uqinisekise abantwana bakho ukuba uyabathanda. Phendula nayiphi na imibuzo ebantwaneni bakho abancinci banayo malunga noko kwenzekayo.
Kwiphephancwadi yalo ekuthetha nabantwana malunga nokulahlekelwa kwezinto ezilahlekileyo, uMbutho wokuThatyala eMzantsi wase-UK ukhombisa ukuba abanye abazali basebenzisa ukufaniswa kokukhulelwa kubanjelwa ukutshala imbewu kwintsimi-kuphela enye inokukhula ibe izityalo ezipheleleyo.
Abanye bathi nje umntwana wayengakhula kakuhle okanye awakwazi ukuhlala emathunzini omama, kwaye ushiye kuloo nto. Khumbula ukuba akufuneki ukuba ufumane inkcazelo ebanzi kunye nabantwana abancinci.
Khuthaza Umsebenzi Wentsapho
Kungakhathaliseki ukuba uneminyaka engakanani yabantwana bakho, cinga ukwenza into kunye njengentsapho ukuze utsho ngokuhlelwa umntwana. Ingcwaba okanye utyala umthi. Okanye, ukuba unqulo, sebenzisa isithethe esinentsingiselo elukholweni lwakho . Ukudala ingadi yesikhumbuzo yindlela yokuhlonela umntwana wakho ngelixa uquka nabantwana bakho kwinto engabancedi ukujamelana nentlungu yabo, kodwa ivumela umntwana wakho ukuba ahambe kwaye asebenze.
Kwabantwana, ukuhlala esiyingxenyeni yokusilela kunokuba nzima kunokuba usizi ngokwalo.
Ukunceda Umntwana Wakho Ahlupheke - Qala Ngeyakho
Kukho i-adage endala ehambayo, "Ukuba uMama akavuyi, akukho mntu uyavuya." Kukho inyaniso eninzi kuloo mazwi. Oomama (kwaye kaninzi ubaba nabo) banokubeka imvakalelo yeentsapho zokusebenzisana. Ukuthatha olu lwazi kwisimo sokulahleka kokukhulelwa kusitsho ukuba mhlawumbi into ebaluleke kakhulu abazali bayayenza abantwana babo kukufumana iindlela zokujamelana nokulila kwabo.
Ukujamelana nokutshatyalaliswa kwexesha elizayo kuya kuhlukile kumzali ngamnye. Iziphazamiso zinokuba luncedo, kodwa ungazami ukubalekela intlungu yakho okanye uzixakeke ngeminye imisebenzi ukuze ubalekele intlungu. Usizi luyindlela ebalulekileyo yokuqonda ukuba ukukhulelwa kwakho kokungahambi kakuhle kubalulekile kwaye kukubuhlungu. Uncike kwinkqubo yakho yoxhaso lwabahlobo kunye nosapho. Fumana abantu ukuba bathethe nabani abanokumamela, kwaye abaziveki ukuba kufuneka uzame ukulungisa "izinto". Abantu abaninzi banokuthuthuzeleka xa bethetha nabanye abaye bafumana ukukhulelwa kwesisu. Gcina ukukhumbula ukuba ukwabelana nomnye kungaphilisa kakhulu, kodwa kuphela xa umhlobo wakho oye wafumana ukukhulelwa kwesisu kuqhubana kakuhle nokulahlekelwa kwakhe.
Abanye abantu banokuhlakulela ukudandatheka emva kokuphuphuma kwesisu . Oku kuqhelekileyo, kwaye akusona uphawu lobuthathaka ukufuna ukucebisa ukunceda ukuhlangabezana nokulahlekelwa kwakho. Ukongezelela, abanye abafazi banokujamelana nosizi olunzima, uxinzelelo lwexinzelelo okanye ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo emva kwesisu. Ukuba usizi lwakho luvakalelwa ngathi "ukudabuka ngokuqhelekileyo" qiniseka ukuthetha nodokotela wakho ukuze ufumane uncedo oluyidingayo. Ukunyamekela kwakho kubalulekile ukuba uncede abantwana bakho bakwazi ukujamelana.
Okukwintsusa
Njengabazali, sisoloko senza konke okusemandleni ukukhusela abantwana bethu ekudakaleni naseendaba ezimbi. Ngelishwa, kukho amaxesha apho umnqweno wokukhusela abantwana bethu unokubashiya beziva bebodwa bekwesaba. Ukudabuka kwabantwana kunokubukeka kuhluke kakhulu ukulila abantu abadala. Ukongezelela, ukuba umntwana ebona abazali bakhe bebuhlungu-banokwenza konke okusemandleni akhe ukuba bajabule. Ngaloo nkqubo, inokungaqondwa ngabazali ababuhlungu ukuba umntwana akazibuhlungu okanye achaphazeleke yilahleko.
Kubalulekile ukuvumela abantwana bakho abancinane ithuba lokulila, kodwa nguwe kuphela njengomzali onokukwazi indlela engcono yokuthetha nabantwana bakho. Unokufumana isibonelelo esibalulekileyo sendlela onokuyenza ngayo malunga nabahlobo abanentsingiselo, kodwa oko kuya kusebenza kubahlobo bakho kunye nabantwana babo akuyi kuba yinto enhle kuwe nabantwana bakho. Yithemba ukuba wena usemgangathweni wokuncedisa umntwana wakho.
Izibonelelo
Kukho iincwadi ezimbalwa zokunceda ukuxoxa ngento yokulahleka kokukhulelwa kunye nabantwana abancinci:
- I-Rosebush kaMolly , nguJanice Cohn noGail Owens, ijolise abantwana abaneminyaka engama-4 ukuya ku-7 kwaye banikezela i-anecdote apho intombazana encinane okuthiwa nguMolly idabukile ngokukhulelwa komama, kodwa intsapho isebenzela intlungu kunye kunye ne-rosebush.
- Sasibe Nomntwana, Kodwa Sasibe Nengelosi Esikhundleni , ngoPat Schwiebert noTill Bill, yincwadi enamaphepha angama-24 ejolise ekuncedeni abazali ukuba bachaze ukulahlekelwa ngumntwana kubantwana.
Imithombo:
Krosch, D., noJ. Shakespeare-Finch. Usizi, Uxinezeleko olubuhlungu, kunye noPhuhliso lwe-posttraumatic kwabesetyhini abaye bafumana ukulahleka kokukhulelwa. Iingqondo zengqondo . 2016 Septemba 8. (Epub ngaphambi kokuprinta).