Ukungavunyelwa ukutyelelwa kwimeko ebuhlungu, enoba uvalelwe ngaphandle kweenkundla okanye yakho yangaphambili. Ngaphambi kokuba unqume ukuba wenze ntoni emva koko, kufuneka uqonde okokuqala ukuba kutheni uvakashelwe ukutyelelwa kunye nokuba zeziphi ukhetho lwakho oluvela apha ngaphandle. Nazi ezinye zezizathu eziqhelekileyo zokuba kutyelelwa ngabantwana kungavunyelwa umzali, kwaye unokwenza ntoni ukuba oku kwenzeka kuwe.
Kutheni Unokuthi Unqatshelwe Ukutyelelwa yiNkundla
Ngokuqhelekileyo, ayinqabile ukuba inkundla zikhanyele ngokupheleleyo ukuhanjelwa kwabantwana. Enye into eya kuba yinto ukuba iinkundla zikholelwa ukuba ukhuseleko lokuhanjelwa yingxaki okanye inokubangela ingozi yomzimba okanye yemoya kubantwana bakho. Kwezinye iimeko, ijaji inokufuna iiklasi zabazali, umsebenzi wokulawula umsindo, okanye unyango okanye utywala ngaphambi kokuhambela rhoqo. Kwimeko apho inkundla ibandakanya lolu hlobo lwemfuno, kukulungele ukuthobela ngokukhawuleza ukuba ubonise ukuzibophezela kwakho ukuqala ixesha eliqhelekileyo kunye nezingane zakho.
Ezinye iindlela zokuTyelela ukuTyelela
Iinkundla ziza kufuna ukuhanjelwa okunyanyisiweyo kunokuba zikhanyele ukuvakasha kwabantwana ngokupheleleyo. Kwiimeko apho ukuhanjelwa okunyanyisiweyo kuyadingeka, umzali unakho okanye akanakho ukuthetha kuye ngubani onika ulawulo kunye nalapho ukutyelelwa kuza kwenzeka khona. Ukuba ijaji inika umyalelo ofuna ukutyelelwa okongamileyo, qiniseka ukuba ufumane zonke iinkcukacha apho kuza kubakho ukuhanjelwa khona, ngubani ovumelekile ukuba agcwalise indima yesigqeba kunye nobude bokutyelela ngamnye.
Uya kufuna kwakhona ukuba umyalelo ungowesigxina okanye iinqununu ekugqityweni kweminye imfuno enikwe inkundla, njengobungqina bokuba uthatha inxaxheba kwiiklasi ezithile okanye ukuzaliswa kwonyango oluvunyiweyo lwenkundla yotywala.
Ukutyelelwa kunye nenkxaso yabantwana
Abazali abaninzi banenkxalabo yokuba ukunyuka emva kokuxhasa abantwana kungabangela ukulahlekelwa ngumntwana okanye ukuhanjelwa.
Nangona kunjalo, iinkundla zijonge ukugcinwa nokugcinwa kwabantwana njengemibandela emibili ehlukileyo. Iziphumo zokungakhokheli inkxaso yenkxaso ngexesha lomntwana kwaye ngokugcwele ziquka:
- Ukuba ilayisenisi yakho yomqhubi isamisiwe
- Ukungakwazi ukufumana ipasipoti
- Ukuhlaziywa kwemivuzo
- Kwaye ukuvalelwa entolongweni
Nangona kunjalo, ukulahlekelwa kwamalungelo okutyelela akusiyo umphumo osemgangathweni wokuwa emva kokuxhasa abantwana.
Izizathu zokuba i-Ex yakho ye-Ex ingayithatha ukuvakasha
Xa iibhendi zakho zangaphambili zivakatye, unokuba nezizathu zokuhamba ngaphesheya kweengxaki ezenza ukuba iinkundla zase-United States zikhanyele ukutyelelwa kwabantwana. Ngokomzekelo, abazali abaxhamliweyo baye baziwa ukukhanga ukutyelela:
- Ukuxhaswa kwabantwana / abangakhokhelwa
- Imiba yezothutho
- Ukuzonwabisa
- Ukuxhalaba malunga nolwalamano lomnye umzali
- Xa umntwana engafuni ukuthatha inxaxheba
- Ngenxa yokwesaba okanye umsindo
- Uxanduva lokukhusela
- Kwaye nezinye ezininzi izizathu
Kakade, akubona zonke ezi zizathu eziza kubamba enkundleni. Sekunjalo inkundla inokugxotha kubazali ngokuphindaphindiweyo ukubuyela enkundleni ukuxazulula iingxabano ezincinane-ngoko kuyona nto inomdla ukuzama ukulungisa umba wakho wokuqala, ngaphambi kokuthatha inyathelo elongezelelweyo. Makhe sihlole iindlela zakho.
Kwenziwe ntoni
- Bhala i zakho nkxalabo. Gcina i-log yezinto ezenzekayo rhoqo xa unqatshelwe ukuvakasha. Nangona umcimbi uphendululwa ngaphambi komhla wakho wenkundla elandelayo, kubalulekile ukugcina amaxwebhu ahlawuleyo ukuxhasa ukugcina umntwana okanye icala lokutyelela.
- Thetha kunye lakho lokuqala . Fumana isizathu sokuba uyaphika ukutyelela kunye nento ongayenza ngayo. Kungcono ukucwangcisa ukuqeshwa apho obabini onokuthetha ngokukhululekile ngaphandle kokuvalelwa ngabantwana bakho. Umzekelo, dibana imizuzu engama-30 kwivenkile yekhofi ukuze ufumene ukuba yiyiphi imicimbi yokuhanjelwa enokuhlangabezana nayo.
- Idibanisa nayiphi na into ekulungisiweyo . Ukuba iimfuno zakho zangaphambili zizodwa kwaye 'zilungiswe,' yenza oko unokukwazi ukulungisa umba. Ngokomzekelo, ukongeza umgca wokulala ngomntwana oneminyaka emine isicelo esifanelekileyo. Ukuba lakho elide lichaphazelekayo lokuba abantwana bakho abanalo iibumbi zabo zokulala okanye ukuba balala emathatsini emoyeni, bathethe ngazo naziphi na izicwangciso kufuneka uhambe kwindawo enkulu okanye into oyenzayo ukuze wenze 'inkampu' umgangatho omnandi kwaye ukhuselekile okwesikhashana.
- Cacisa imida kunye namaqabane amasha . Ukuba lakho ex liyakhathaza ukuba uthandana nomntu omtsha ochitha ixesha kunye nezingane, uthetha ngaluphi na ulindelwe ukugqiba ukuba yiyiphi into engqiqweni kunye noko kungenjalo. Nangona ungeke ufune ukuthoba ulwalamano, ukuphuhlisa isicwangciso esicacileyo, sokwandiswa kwexesha elingakanani ixesha abantwana bakho abaza kuchitha kunye neqabane lakho elitsha-kwaye apho-kunokukunceda ukukhupha uxhalaba lwama-displaced kunye nokwakha ukuthembela.
- Cinga ngezenzo zomthetho . Ukuba awunalo ukugcinwa kwezingane ezisemthethweni kunye nokuhlelwa kweentlawulo kwifayile kunye neenkundla, ngoko kusenokuba ixesha lokufakela ifom yefowuni yamalungelo okutyelela. Ukuba unikwe i-visitation esele yenziwe yinkundla, kwaye yakho yangaphambili iyakukhanyela ngokukodwa ilungelo lakho lokutyelela, ke lixesha lokunyusa imiba kwaye ubize amapolisa.
- Biza amapolisa . Kwiimeko ezininzi, amapolisa akayi kuthatha icala. Kunoko, baya kuthatha amanqaku, apho iinkundla ziya kuba nethuba lokuphonononga. Kubalulekile ukuyiqonda le nto ngaphambi kokuba wenze ucingo ukuze ungakhathazeki kwaye unomsindo xa kufika iipolisa kwaye ikuxelele ukuba akukho nto inokuyenza ngaphandle kokufaka ingxelo. (Into yokugqibela oyifunayo yimibiko yokuba ubangelisekanga kwaye ucaphukile-kungakhathaliseki ukuba loo mvakalelo ivumelekile kangakanani.) Ilizwi lokulumkisa: lungele ukubonisa amagosa ikopi yenkundla yakho yenkundla. Ngaphandle kwayo, abanakuze bafake ingxelo.
- Faka ifayile . Ukuba ukuvakasha kokuvunywa kuya kuba ngumzekelo, kufuneka ufeze isikhalazo enkundleni. Apha unamakhetho amabini: fayile isilumkiso sokudanwa, esitsho ukuba yakho yangaphambili iyadelela inkundla ngokuphula umthetho okhutshwe ngaphambili. Okanye, unokufakela isikhalazo ucele inkundla ukuba iguqule umyalelo, ugxininise umyalelo, okanye ukhuphe isicatshulwa kwi-ex yakho ukuze ukhusele lo mkhuba ukuqhubeka. Nokuba ngaba ijaji ayinakuyilawula, ukukhathazeka kwakho kuya kubhalwe ngokusemthethweni. Ngokubanzi, kunjalo, kukulungele ukubonisana nommeli onamava oqeqeshiwe, oqeqeshiwe ngaphambi kokuthatha le nyathelo.
I-Alienation Syndrome yabazali
Asikwazi ukuxoxa ngengxaki yomzali omnye ekukhanyela ukutyelela kwelinye ngaphandle kokuthetha ne-parent Alienation Syndrome (PAS). Lo ngumzekelo wokungavumi nje ukudibanisa kodwa uxhaphaza kakubi umboniso womntwana womzali. Khawucinge nje ukuba unesiphako esibi kakhulu-emva koko-wongena kwiingqondo zezingane zakho, ukuya kwindawo abayakholelwa ngayo kwaye bamkele ukulahleka koqhagamshelwano njengento yabo eyabo. Loo Mzali we-Alienation Syndrome, kwaye ngelixa kukho akukho manani anokuthenjwa okuchaza ukuba bangaphi abazali abawela ixhoba le-PAS, ndiyakholwa ukuba yanda kakhulu kunokuba sinokuyicinga. Yingakho kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba ungabonakali umlomo wakho kubantwana bakho okanye ngaphandle kokuhanjelwa kwenkundla. Ukuba ukholelwa ukuba ulixhoba le-PAS, kufuneka uqeshe igqwetha-mhlawumbi elinye libe namava okuphatha iimeko ze-PAS.
Yintoni enokuyenza xa iNkundla ilahla ukutyelela
Siphendule into enokuyenza xa wakho umva ukuvakasha, kodwa kuthiwani ngeenkundla? Yintoni ongayenza ngoko? Ngaba kukho nantoni na ongayenzayo ukubuyisela ixesha kunye nabantwana bakho? Ewe. Into yokuqala okufuneka uyenze ihambelana nomyalelo-yonke into yayo. Ukuba inkundla ithi ufanele uthathe iiklasi zabazali, thabathe kwaye ufake isatifikethi sokugqiba enkundleni ukubonisa ukuthotyelwa kwakho. Uyakufuna kwakhona ukufumana igqwetha ukuba ungenayo kakade. Yaye khumbula ukuba ngeli xesha ukubuyisana kukuphazamisa, akuyena igama lokugqibela. Kukho naziphi izizathu zokuhlala unethemba lokuba njengoko usebenza ngala ma nyathelo uza kukwazi ukuphinde uvakashele rhoqo nabantwana bakho.