Kwingqondo yoluntu jikelele, umfanekiso weswele uncike kwisimo esifanayo. Abantu abaninzi balindele ukubona amawele athathele ngokukrakra omnye nomnye, kuquka nezakhelo zokukhetha. Nangona kunjalo, oku kungaba ngumcimbi onzima kubazali beziphindaphindiweyo. Ngaba kufuneka bagqoke amawele abo kwiingubo ezifanayo okanye zokudibanisa? Okanye ngaba unempembelelo eyingozi ekuthuthukiseni abantwana babo ngabanye?
Ngaba ugqoke amawele ngokufanayo "ukwenza" okanye "musa"?
Ngokuqinisekileyo, akukho mzali onokunyanzela ukuphindaphinda iifestile ukuba zigqoke ngokufanayo ukuba abafuni, ingakumbi xa abantwana bekhulile ngokwaneleyo ukubonisa ukungathandi kwabo. Kodwa iintsana kunye nabantwana abaselula banabanye ibali kwaye ngabazali bawa mawele amawele kunye namathathu amathandathu abaya kulwa nolu ngxaki ngexesha elithile. Enye yeengxaki ezijongene nabazali bamawele .
Kutheni Uyenza?
Kwenye into, kulula ukugqokisa abantwana abancinci; Abazali abaphelelwe yintsapho abanamaqondo angenayo ingqondo yokukhetha izambatho ezimbini - ngaphantsi kweengubo ezimbini ezibukhulu obufanelekileyo obufana nesini, izinga lokushisa, umsebenzi, kunye nesimo esifanelekileyo kwiziganeko zosuku! Ngaphezu koko, kuhle. Iyonwabisa. Ubhiyozela ubudlelwane babo obukhethekileyo njengamawele. Kwaye yenza ngokuqinisekileyo imifanekiso emihle!
Uphando
Andizange ndihlangabezane nophando oluthile olubonisa ukuba ukugqoka ngokufanayo kuye kwavelisa nayiphi na impembelelo emibi kumawele.
Nangona kunjalo abaninzi beengqondo zincoma malunga nabo kuba bafuna ukugxininisa ngabanye. Umzekelo, uNancy Segal, umbhali we- Entwined Lives wathi "Ndiyakholelwa ukuba kulungile, ngezinye izihlandlo andiyikuyixhasa yonke into yamawele omzalwana.
Akufanele sifinyelele kwindawo apho baxhomekeke kuzo ukuze banakekele. "
Abaphandi bayavuma ukuba kwiminyaka yokuqala kuyithuba elibalulekileyo ekuphuhliseni izakhono zokuqonda kwengane. Abachasene nokugqoka ngokufanayo baxela ukuba kuphazamisa umntwana wengqondo yakhe nokuba yinto esemncinane.
Uphando olungacwangciswanga endiluqhubileyo - ngokubanzi ukucela iisethi ezikhulile zamawele ngendlela abavakalelwa ngayo ngolu hlobo - kubonisa ukuba akuyona into enkulu enkulu ngaphandle kokuba amawele aphoqeleke ukuba agqoke ngokufanayo xa bekhulile. Engazikhumbulanga, abazange bazikhumbule, okanye babechukunyiswa bubele ngabazali babo bakhetha ukugqoka ngokufanayo njengabantwana abancinane.
Ukwenza isigqibo
Ekugqibeleni, akukho mpendulo efanelekileyo okanye engalunganga kumbuzo wokugqoka ngokufanayo. Emva kweminyaka emithathu okanye ngaphezulu, abantwana banokuveza uluvo lwabo ngokwalo mbandela. Basenokukhetha ukugqoka ngokufanayo, ukwabelana ngentsingiselo efanayo kwiingubo okanye ukuzonwabisa ngokubonakalayo kwimo yabo ekhethekileyo njengamawele. Okanye, banokufisa ukuvakalisa zabo ngokwabo ngokwenza isitayela sabo.
Kuze kube lelo xesha, abazali bafanele bahambe kunye nenketho eziva bakhululekile kubo.
Ezinye iindlela
- Sebenzisa ukulungiswa kweengubo kunokuba uqhathanise: khetha enye impahla kodwa ngemibala eyahlukileyo.
- Sebenzisa iimpahla ezifanayo ukukhumbula iziganeko ezizodwa okanye iifoto; ugqoke abantwana ngokwahlukileyo kwimisebenzi yemihla ngemihla.
- Qinisekisa ukuba ugqoke abantwana ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo apho ufuna ukuqiniseka ngabanye abantu (oko kukuthi, ootitshala, ababelethi, izihlobo) banokubatshela.