Ehlabathini lanamhlanje, usenokwenzeka ukuva abantwana abaninzi bathi, "Ndiphe loo nto!" kwaye "Ndiyifunayo ngoku!" ngokuphindaphindiweyo kunokuba uya kubava bathi, "nceda," kwaye "ndiyabonga." Ngokudabukisayo, ngamanye amaxesha uzive ngathi ininzi yehlabathi lilibale ukufundisa abantwana indlela yokuziphatha.
Kodwa, ngenxa yokuba abantwana abaninzi bengenalo imigaqo engundoqo, oko akuthethi ukuba akufanele ufundise umntwana wakho umgaqo-siseko.
Umntwana osondelene kakuhle uya kuphawulwa ngutitshala kunye nabanye abazali kuzo zonke izizathu ezifanelekileyo. Ncedisa umntanakho ukuba ayenze imikhwa engundoqo kunye nalezi zicwangciso zoqeqesho:
1. Dumisani Ukusetyenziswa Kwempawu Zomntwana
Nika ingxelo emihle xa ubamba umntwana wakho usebenzisa imilinganiselo emihle. Kubantwana abancinci, oku kuthetha ukuba, "Umsebenzi omhle ukhumbule ukutsho 'Ndiyabulela.'" Kubantwana, impendulo enokuthi ingabandakanya ukudumisa ngokubeka ifowuni kude ngexesha lokutya kwetafula okanye ukuxhaphaza izandla xa ubingelela umntu omtsha.
Ukuba unomntwana omncinci, mnike udumo ngokukhawuleza. Yithi, "Wenza umsebenzi omhle ngokubulela uMgogo ngenxa yesipho." Musa ukuhlazisa intombazana ngokumdumisa phambi kwabanye abantu. Esikhundleni saloo nto, yibani ncoko yangasese malunga nendlela oyixabisayo ngayo ngokuziphatha ngokuzimeleyo kwiindwendwe kwiintsapho ezidibeneyo okanye kumnika ingxelo efanelekileyo malunga nendlela ayisingatha ngayo intsebenziswano kunye nobhala wencwadi.
2. Uhlobo lwezoPoliti zokuziphatha
Indlela efanelekileyo yokufundisa izakhono ezintsha kukuba ngumzekelo omhle. Xa umntwana wakho ebona uthetha ngokuthobeka kwabanye kwaye usebenzisa imilinganiselo yakho, uya kuthatha oko. Qaphela indlela osebenzisana ngayo neqabane lakho okanye amalungu omtshato osondeleyo kuba ngamanye amaxesha kulula ukulibala ukusebenzisa imilinganiselo xa siziva sikhululekile nabantu.
Thumela amanqaku okubulela, uziphatha ngokuzimeleyo kubantu abasebenzela icandelo leenkonzo, kwaye usebenzise imbeko yakho xa uthetha kwifowuni kuba abantwana behlala bephulaphule kwaye bebukele.
Yaye uqaphele malunga nendlela ojongene ngayo neemeko xa udidekile. Ukuba unomsindo ngomnye umntu, ngaba uthanda ukuphakamisa ilizwi lakho? Ngaba usebenzisa amagama aqatha xa ucinga ukuba umntu uphathe kakubi? Isigijimi sakho malunga nokubaluleka kokusebenzisa imilinganiselo asiyi kuvakala xa ungayifaki indlela yokuziphatha ngokuhloniphekileyo nangenhlonipho.
3. Iingoma eziPhezulu zoMdlalo
Ukudlala indima kunceda abantwana basebenzise izakhono ezintsha. Ukudlala indima kunokuncedisa ngakumbi ukuba ungena kwindawo entsha. Ukuba wakho oneminyaka emi-5 uye wamema umngani kwiqela lakhe lokuzalwa, indima yokusebenzisa indlela yokuziphatha xa uvula izipho. Mncede asebenzise indlela yokubulela abantu ngesipho sakhe nendlela yokuphendula xa evula isipho angayithandi.
Hlala phantsi nomntwana wakho uze uthi, "Wenzenjani ukuba ..." uze ubone oko akuthethileyo. Zizenza njengomhlobo okanye omnye umntu omdala uze ubone indlela umntwana wakho asabela ngayo kwiimeko ezithile. Emva koko, unikeza ingxelo kwaye uncede umntwana wakho athole indlela yokuziphatha ngokuhloniphekileyo nangenhlonipho kwiimeko ezahlukeneyo.
4. Ukunikezela ngengcaciso emfutshane
Abantwana banokuthi bakhumbule imigaqo yabo kunye nemithetho ethile yokuziphatha xa unikezela ngcaciso emfutshane malunga nokuba kutheni ukuziphatha okuthile kuthathwa njengento engenakucala okanye ihlazo. Gwema ukufundisa okanye ukuxelela iingongoma ezinde. Endaweni yoko, yitsho nje isizathu sokuba kutheni ukuziphatha okuthethileyo kungabonakali.
Ukuba umntwana wakho uhlafuna ngomlomo wakhe evulekile, uthi, "Abantu abafuni ukubona ukutya emlonyeni wakho xa bezama ukutya." Ukuba wenza inkampani enkulu malunga nayo, ungakhuthaza ngokungazenzisiyo ukuziphatha ukuqhubeka. Kodwa, ukuba unokwazi nje ukuchaza isizathu sokuzola kunye nenyaniso, ingaba isikhumbuzo kumntwana wakho malunga nokuba kutheni abanye abantu bengayiqondi into ayenzayo.
5. Hlalani Nilindele Ixesha Elifanelekileyo
Qinisekisa ukuba izilindelo zakho zifanelekile kumntwana wakho kunye nenqanaba lophuhliso. Ukuba unomntwana omncinci, qala ukusebenza kwizinto ezisiseko zokuthi "nceda," "uyabulela," kwaye "uxolo." Ngomntwana wakho umntwana osemtsha, kufuneka ugxile kwizakhono eziphambili njenge-etiquette yefowuni kunye nobunzima izakhono zokunxibelelana.
Ngamanye amaxesha kunceda ukuba ugxininise ngenye indawo ngexesha - njengemilinganiselo yeesetekisi ezisisiseko - ngaphambi kokuhambisa ezinye izakhono. Ukuba unika umntwana wakho ubuninzi ukuba ufunde ngoko kanye unokuphazamiseka. Kuqhelekileyo kunye nezakhono zangaphambilini ukuphinda ubuyekezwe ngezikhathi ezithile ukuqinisekisa ukuba umntwana wakho ukhumbule ukuyisebenzisa.