Ingcamango yokukhululwa kwabantwana be-free-range yabetha imidiya ngo-2008 xa uLenore Skenanzy, umlobi wekhomphyutha waseNew York, ebhala isihloko esithi, "Kutheni Ndivumela Ukuba Uneminyaka Engama-9 ubudala Ahambe Ngendlela Ehamba Ngayo Yodwa. zilinganiswe kwisigqibo sakhe.
I-Skenanzy icacile ukuba waqinisekisa ukuba unyana wakhe wakwazi ukufunda imephu yendlela yangaphantsi kwaye wamnika imali kwimeko apho wayidinga khona.
Kodwa, abagxeki basaphikisana nesigqibo sakhe esiphelelwe ngumda wokungahoywa komntwana.
I-Skenanzy iqalile intshukumo yokukhuthaza abazali ukuba bayeke ukuba ngabazali be-helicopter. Wayexwayisa malunga neengozi zokukhusela abantwana abangaphezulu kwaye wabakhuthaza abanye abazali ukuba bakhulise abantwana abazimeleyo abangenza ukhetho oluhle ngokwabo.
Kule minyaka, abanye abazali abaninzi baye benza iindaba ngeendlela zabo zokukhulisa abazali. Kwiimeko ezimbalwa, iinkonzo zokukhusela abantwana ziye zabandakanyeka kwiintsapho apho umzali ongekho phantsi kubonakala enganaki.
Ubuzali be-Free-Based parenting vs. Neglect
Ayikho impendulo ecacileyo malunga nokuba umntwana ulungele ukuthatha iimbopheleleko ezivuthiweyo, njengokuba ugibela kweso sithuthi. Enyanisweni, oko kuthathwa njengesiqhelo kwindawo enye phakathi kwabazali banokuthi bangathatyathwa kwezinye iidolophu okanye kwilizwe. Kukho ingxoxo eninzi malunga nemibuzo efana nale:
- Umntwana makavumeleke ukuba ahlale ekhaya yiphi ubudala?
- Uphi umntwana omdala okwaneleyo ukuba ahlale yedwa ngobusuku?
- Yiminyaka engakanani umntwana kufuneka avunyelwe ukuba ahambe phantsi kweso sitrato?
- Ingaba umntwana angadlala epaki ngaphandle komntu omdala?
- Ngaliphi ixesha ubudala umntakwabo omdala onokukwazi ukujongana nabantwana abancinci?
Nangona intsapho enye inokuvumela umntu oneminyaka engama-7 ukuba ahambe epakini yodwa, omnye usapho usenokuqasha umntwana oneminyaka engama-12 ubudala.
Iimbalwa ezimbalwa zinemithetho ethile elawula ukuba abantwana abadala kufuneka bahlale njani bodwa okanye bavumeleke ukuba bahambe esikolweni, uninzi lwabantu abanalo mithetho ethile. Kunoko, kushiywe kubazali ukuba bathathe isigqibo kwiimeko ezithile ngamatyala.
Iimpawu
I-Skenanzy icacile ukuba umzali ongekho uhla lwamahhala awunalo malunga nabazali abangabazali. Kunoko, malunga nokuvumela abantwana inkululeko kunye nethuba lokuba "ngabantwana." Nazi ezinye ezimbalwa iimpawu eziphambili zendlela yokukhulisa abazali abakwii-free-range:
- Abazali bayavumela imisebenzi eninzi engaphikwanga. Esikhundleni sokuqhuma kwizifundo ze-violin ukuya kwiqhokhwa lebhola yonke imihla, abazali abangabakhululekileyo bakhuthaza umdlalo ongaqeqeshiweyo. Ngokomzekelo, endaweni yokuba umntu omdala agxininise imigaqo emininzi yemidlalo yebhola, abantwana abakhululekayo bayakhuthazwa ukuba badlale umdlalo wokuthabatha kunye neendawo zabo zokuhlala.
- Ukudlala kwimvelo kubalulekile. Abantwana abakwi-Free-range bayakhuthazwa ukuba badlale ngaphandle, kunokusebenzisa i-electronics. Abazali bamahala-nxaxheba bafuna ukuba abantwana babo bakwazi ukuzihlaziya ngaphandle kwethekhnoloji - nokuba bayadlala kumyezo okanye bakhe isakhiwo.
- Abantwana bafumana ukuzimela. Abazali abakwii-Free bavumela abantwana ukuba bafumane ukuzimela kwaye banikwe inkululeko eyongezelelweyo kunye noxanduva ngokuthe ngcembe. Ugxininiso ekuboniseni abantwana ukuba banako ukuzama izinto ezintsha nokufeza imisebenzi eyimfuneko ngokwabo.
- Abazali be-Free-range ababazali ngenxa yokwesaba. Ngexa kunjalo, uninzi lwabo luya kubeka imilinganiselo yokukhusela - njengokuba igqoke isigqoko ngokukhwela ibhayisiki - bayaqonda ukuba izingozi zingenzeka naphi na. Bavumela abantwana babo ukuba badlale kwindawo yokudlala kwaye bazame izinto ezintsha kuba bayazi ukuba kulungile kubo, nangona bangenzakaliswa kanye emva kwexesha.
Umzali ongenabaniki-nxaxheba awukho malunga nokuvunyelwa okanye ukungavumi. Kunoko, malunga nokuvumela abantwana ukuba banenkululeko yokufumana imiphumo yemvelo yokuziphatha kwabo - xa kukhuselekile ukwenza njalo. Kwakhona ngokuqinisekisa ukuba abantwana banezakhono abayidingayo ukuba babe ngabantu abadala.
Kukho imibono eyahlukileyo malunga nokuba inkululeko yabantwana kufuneka ivumeleke ukuba ibe nayo. Nangona abanye abazali becinga ukuba amaxesha atshintshile kwaye ukuvumela abantwana ukuba badlale ngaphandle bangabonakali ngcamango, abanye banomuzwa wokuthi ukugqithisa ingozi yonyango ekuphuculeni umntwana.