Nantsi into enokuyenza malunga nokulwa kwezingane kubantwana bexesha elifanelekileyo.
Kubazali, ukuphulaphula abantwana bezilwanyana zifana nezipikili ebhodini. Ingaba kukungqubana kunye okanye ukumemeza, abantwana bayalwa ngaphezu kokucaphukisa abazali; kutyhafaza. Yaye xa usebenza ekhaya, ukuphikisana nabantwana kungabangela ukuphazamiseka okukhulu.
Kodwa kholwa okanye akunjalo, ukulwa kwezingane akukubi konke, ngokungakhathaliseki ukuba kungekhona ukulwa okanye ukuxhaphaza. Ukubhikisha kunceda abantwana bafunde ukunyaniseka, ukulungiswa kwemibango kunye nokuzilawula. Yiloo nto yokufunda loo nto ithatha ixesha elide. Funda ukuze ufumane iingcebiso malunga nendlela onokuba yinxalenye yenkqubo yoxolo kwimfazwe yamazwi akho.
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Musa ukuxhonywa ekulweni.Xa umzali ehambela ekukhutsheni, oku kuthetha kubantwana ukuba ukuphikisana nokukhwabanisa kubangela ingxabano kwisiphetho esiphuthumayo. Ngoko gwema ukuthatha icala xa abantwana bexabana. Iingxaki zezingane zokuza nesisombululo esifanelekileyo. Ukubeka ibhola enkundleni yabo kubonisa ukuba balindeleke ukuba babe yingxenye yesisombululo.
Kodwa ukuba ukulwa kukhula, abazali bangadinga ukungena kuwo. Ukuba kufuneka ungenele, yenza ukuba ukhawuleze kwaye wenze isigqibo. Fumana i-compromise okanye abantwana abahlukeneyo, mhlawumbi ngomyalelo ("Wonke umntu kumagumbi akho.") Okanye ngo-cajoling ("Suzy, woza udlale kwigumbi lam."). Musa ukunyathela kwingxoxo. Shiya ingxoxo ngemicimbi emva kokulwa kwelinye ixesha xa i-tempers ipholile.
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Mzekelo umzekelo ofuna ukuwujonga.Musa ukuthetha nje ngendlela yokulungisa iingxabano; bonisa abantwana. Ukulwa okanye ukumemeza njengesisombululo sokungavumelani kuqiniswa xa abantwana bebona abazali benza okufanayo. Musa ukulwa neqabane lakho (okanye izalamane okanye abahlobo) phambi kwezingane. Kwaye nangona kunokuba kunzima ukuba uvezwe ngaphezu kwexesha lokulwa nezingane, zama ukuphakamisa ilizwi lakho xa abantwana bexhatshazwa.
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Ukuqhawula umjikelo wokubambana.Ukuxhatshazwa kusebenza ngokusesikweni. Abantwana basabela omnye komnye kwaye emva koko ukuba ungenele. Ukuze uphule umjikelezo, kufuneka usebenze ngaphandle kokusebenza. Thatha inxaxheba ekuchaseni xa abantwana bengalwa.
Ngomlilo wokulwa, akukho mntu uphulaphulayo. Nantoni na wena, njengomzali, uthi abantwana banokucinga ukuba udibana nomnye umntu. Lindela de iindlebe zipholile, uze ukhumbuze abantwana (okanye usethe) imithetho yomhlaba. Gxininisa ububele kunye nezingane zokuqeqesha. Ukuhambelana nale ndlela ehamba phambili iya kunciphisa ukulwa kwezingane ngexesha elide.
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Musa ukuvuza abantwana ngokulwa.Ukuvuza abantwana ngokulwa? Kutheni umntu enokwenza oko? Kodwa abazali bavuza ukulwa kwabantwana ngokunikela ingqwalasela enkulu. Ngokuqhelekileyo ukuxhatshazwa kuninzi malunga nokuqwalaselwa kunokuba nayiphi na inani lezinto ezincinci ezinokulwa nabantwana. Yaye ngubani oye waxhalabisa abantwana ngokuqhelekileyo ufuna uninzi? Abazali, kunjalo.
Ukuba usebenza ekhaya, abantwana banokubambelela ukuba inkohlakalo enkulu iyakucima ukuba iphume kwiofisi yakho. Musa ukugijima kwindawo yokuqala yeengxaki. Banike ithuba lokusebenzela okokuqala.
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Gcina abantwana bexakekile.Ngokuqhelekileyo ukulwa kwezingane kubangelwa ukunyuka. Xa abantwana bebandakanyeka ngokuzibandakanya kwimisebenzi yokudlala ezizimeleyo, abanako ukulwa. Kwaye imisebenzi ezimeleyo ifundisa abantwana ukuba bajongane nengxaki yabo (oko kukuthi inzondo) ngaphandle kokusebenza kumzali. Kwaye oku okufuneka bafunde ukuyeka ukulwa.
Nangona i-TV ingakwazi ukugcina abantwana bexakekile, kakhulu i-TV inokubangela ukulwa ngakumbi ngenxa yokuba into edlalwa yintwazana kaninzi kodwa ngenxa yokuba ayikho uhlobo lomdlalo osebenzayo.
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Fumana umthombo wengxaki.Nangona ukunyamezela kunye nomnqweno wokuqwalasela zibini izizathu eziqhelekileyo zokulwa, zikho ezinye izizathu ezininzi. Ezi zinto zinokuba nzima kunjenge-underlying sibling rivalry okanye elula njengendlala. Ngamanye amaxesha ukuphikisana kuyindlela nje yokuba abantwana baqhube umbane. Ukuqonda imbangela yokulwa kuya kubonisa indlela engcono yokuyisebenzisa.
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Yeka ukulwa ngaphambi kokuba uqale.Xa kunokwenzeka, jonga iimeko apho abantwana bakho banokulwa. Amanye amaxesha athile xa ugibela emotweni, ngelixa usebenza kwiofisi yakho yasekhaya, ngexesha lokuguquka ukusuka komnye umsebenzi ukuya kwenye okanye ngaphambi kokutya. Yilungiselele xa ungena kwezi meko.
Cinga nangeentlobo zezinto abazilwela ngazo: amathoyizi, iTV, ikhomputha, amalungelo afana nokuhlala kwisihlalo esithandayo okanye ukuba nomhlobo. Sisebenzela imithetho elinganayo yezi zinto. Kodwa khumbula ukuba imithetho ayiyi kuyenza yonke into, kanye. Xa abantwana befumana ingcamango yokuba le nto kufanele ihlale ikhona, bayakufumana nzima ukuba bamkele iimeko abazibonayo njengobulungisa, kunye nokulwa okuqhubekayo.
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Musa ukudimazeka.Ukunciphisa ukulwa kwabantwana yinkqubo engayi kwenzeka ngobusuku. Kwaye abanye abantwana banomdla wokubhikisana kunabanye. Nika abantwana isakhiwo kunye nezicwangciso abazidingayo ukujongana neengxaki, kodwa khumbula ukuba zingabantwana. Ukulwa nabantakwenu bakho konke okuyingxenye yokuba yinkwenkwe.
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