Ngeliphi kunye nendlela yokwenza ezo ziNgxelo zokuqala
Kubazali abaninzi abangabodwa, ukuthandana kunomdla kwaye kuyantyantya ngexesha elifanayo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ungeke ube nefuthe lakho ngothando lwakho olutsha lomdla. Sekunjalo, unokuhlaselwa ngemibuzo malunga nokuba nini kwaye njani ukwazisa abantwana bakho. Ngaphambi kokuba uthathe isinyathelo esibalulekileyo, qwalasela le ngcebiso malunga nokuthandana nabantwana.
Khangela Ubuhlobo Bakho
Uninzi lwabazali abangatshatanga babuza, "Ndifanele nini na ukuvelisa abantwana bam kumntu endandithandana naye?" UPeter Sheras, isifo sengqondo seklinikhi kwiYunivesithi yaseVirginia, kunye nombhali we-Nokuba akakholelwa ukuba Uhamba Ngezithuba Zami !: Indlela yokunika abantwana bakho abakuzimeleyo Bafuna nokukhokelwa Abayidingayo , icebisa abazali ukuba baqale bahlole umgangatho yobudlelwane obusondeleyo ngaphambi kokuba uxhalabe malunga nendlela okanye nini ukuzisa abantwana.
"Ukuzibophelela kubaluleke kakhulu kuba, xa kukho ukuzibophezela, kubonakala kubantwana."
Nyaniseka
Ukunyaniseka kuwe kunye neqabane lakho kubalulekile. Akukho buhlobo bonke obusondeleyo bufikelele kumgangatho wokuzibophezela obandakanya ukubandakanya abantwana. Unokuba novuyo olusisigxina, ubomi obonwabisayo nomntu onomdla wokuba ujikeleze, kodwa ongeke ucinge ngekamva. Oku kubaluleke kuba xa uzisa abantwana, ubashiya besengozini ukuba baqhotyoshelwe. Ukwenza oko ngaphambi kokuba uzivelele ukuba le nto iya kuba nobuhlobo besikhathi eside. Kwaye xa kwenzeka ukuba ubudlelwane abuhlali, iindlela zokwahlukana zinokuba zibuhlungu njengokuba ulwahlulo lwakho lokuqala okanye uqhawulo lomtshato ukususela ekuqaleni.
I-Big Takeaway
Xa udibana nezingane ezisemfanekisweni, zibuze imibuzo elandelayo ngaphambi kokuba uvelise inzala yakho yothando kumntwana wakho:
Ngaba ndiyabona oku njengobudlelwane obude? Ukuba akunjalo, kwaye ufuna ukuba naye adibane nezingane zakho, cinga ukuzisa iqabane lakho "njengomhlobo" kwaye ugcine izinto ze-platonic phambi kwabantwana bakho ngoku.
Ngaba ndicinga ukuba lo mntu ube yinxalenye yentsapho yam? Ukuba u-ewe, ke ukuzisa abantwana kule ngqungquthela kunokubangela ingqiqo njengesinyathelo esilandelayo esilandelayo.
Emva kokuba nonke nisigqibo sokuba olu luhlobo oluqinileyo, oluzibophelelayo, uya kufuna ukuqala intetho enentsingiselo kunye nabantwana bakho. Okubaluleke kakhulu, uya kufuna ukuqinisekisa ukuzibophezela kwakho kubantwana kwaye uphendule nayiphi na imibuzo. Iingcebiso ezilandelayo zokuthandana nabantwana ziya kunceda:
Ukukhusela Abantwana Bakho 'Ukholo
UPeter Sheras, isifo sengqondo sekliniki kwiYunivesithi yaseVirginia, kunye nombhali weNgeke Ndikholelwe Ukuba Uhamba Ngezifundo Zami !: Indlela Yokunika Abantwana Bakho Ubuncwane Abayifunayo Nesikhokelo Abayidingayo, uthi, "Abantwana bayamoyikayo Ukwesaba ngakumbi ukushiya kunanoma yini enye.Boyesaba ukuba xa kushitshiswa ukuqhuma, uya kubayeka ngenxa yobu budlelwane obutsha bokuthandana. Ngoko ke, kunceda ukuba uzibophezele ngokucacileyo phambi kokuba uvelise umntu. "
Gcina Izinto kwiPhepha
I-Sheras iphinde igxininise ukuba awuyikucela imvume yokuba abantwana bavunyelwe ulwalamano lwakho. Njengoko kubalulekile, awukhiphi uhlobo oluthile lwesigxina malunga nokwamkela iqabane lakho. Kunoko, uqala ingxoxo malunga nokuba kubaluleke kangakanani abantwana bakho, nokuba yiyiphi into oyifunayo kwikamva lakho. USharas uncoma oku: "Qala ngokwenza ingxelo yakho yothando kunye nenkxaso kwintsapho yakho.
Emva koko ubuze abantwana imibuzo enjengaleyo 'Yintoni onokuyithanda ngayo intsapho yethu? Yintoni oyifunayo kumntu onokuyifumana kwintsapho? "Le ncoko eqhubekayo nenyanisekileyo yinto ebalulekileyo yokubandakanya abantwana bakho ubuhlobo obubalulekileyo kuwe.
Iingcebiso ezingakumbi zokuthandana nabantwana
Ukongeza, uya kufuna:
- Qaphela ukuba abantwana bakho banokwesaba ukuba okanye ukuziva ulahliwe njengoko ufumana ubudlelwane obutsha bokuthandana.
- Qinisekisa ukuzibophezela kwakho kubantwana bakho . Cinga ukubhala umntwana ngamnye ngetekisi ebonisa iimvakalelo zakho kunye nethemba lokuba lizayo, kunye neyakho.
- Yabelana ngentshiseko yakho yokwenene kumntu othandana naye . Vumela abantwana bakho bazi ukuba kutheni ubuhlobo kubalulekile kuwe. Yaye khumbula ukuba eli lixesha elixabisekileyo lokubonisa ukuba indlela umntu ayenzela ngayo umgangatho obalulekileyo kunabo bonke ubuhlobo.
Ukujamelana nobuhlobo obutsha bomtshato obunqabileyo abuyinto elula kubantwana. Xa usuqale ukuthetha ngawo ngokucacileyo, nangona kunjalo, unokuqala ukucinga malunga nendlela onokuthanda ukwenza ngayo iintetho zokuqala. UPeter Sheras, isifo sengqondo seklinikhi eYunivesithi yaseVirginia, kunye nombhali we-Nokuba akakholelwa ukuba Uhambe Ngezithuba Zami !: Indlela yokunika abantwana bakho ithuba lokuzimela. abantwana "phakathi neenyanga ezimbalwa zokuvakalisa ubuhlobo obunzulu."
Indlela yokwazisa iNtshisekelo Yothando olutsha
Xa kuziwa ekwenzeni izethulo zangempela, uzakufuna ukucwangcisa ukuphuma ngaphandle komsebenzi okanye umsebenzi. Ngokufanelekileyo, kunceda ukudala imeko apho wonke umntu angaba, ukhulule, kwaye abe nexesha elihle. Umsebenzi omfutshane, onjengokuphuma nge-pizza okanye ukudlala ujikelezo olukhawulezayo lwegalufa elincinane , unikezela wonke umntu ithuba lokuba adibane kodwa akayi kudala imeko apho kufuneka incoko ende.
Iingcebiso zokuCwangcisa iIngeniso zokuQala
- Cwangcisa into ejabulisayo . Cinga ngezinto osukunandipha ukuzenza kunye njengentsapho. Ukuba abantwana bakho baneminyaka ngokwaneleyo, bafumane ukuba bahlanganyele ekucwangcisweni, nabo.
- Yiba nguwe. Akukho mfuneko yokuba ugxininise kwaye uqale ukuthetha kuloo ndawo ephakamileyo "ingaba-yinto-ebuhlungu?" ilizwi. Kunoko, vumela abantwana bakho babone ukuba ukhululekile kwesikhumba sakho phambi komntu okhethekileyo ebomini bakho.
- Yibandakanya nezingane zakho kwinto onokuyenza kunye . Qhubeka ukhanya kwaye vumela umsebenzi ngokuzenzekelayo ugcwalise nayiphi na ikhefu kwingxoxo.
Ukunikezela Ukuqinisekisa
Ukwamkela ubudlelwane bokuthandana kwabazali kungaba yinkqubo encinci kubantwana bakho. Ekugqibeleni, izinto eziphambili zakho ziqinisekisa abantwana bakho ukuba uyabathanda ngokungenasiphelo kwaye unenjongo yokuhlala uhlala nabo. Ekuhambeni kwexesha, baya kubona ukuba kuquka omnye umntu ebomini bakho akubhekiselele ekuqhekezeni ukuthanda kwakho; yithuba lokukhulisa isangqa sabantu eninyule nabo bonke ukhetha ukunyamekela kunye nokwamkela kwintsapho yakho.