Kukho into ethile malunga nentombi kunye noodade, kunjalo? Kungakhathaliseki ukuba yintoni na, loo ntombazana encinci ibonakala ibe nooyise eboshwe ngeminwe yabo encinane-loo mahlo amakhulu, loo ngqungquthela yee-piggers, ezo zandla zifikelela kubantwana bazo.
Kwaye ukuba uke wazibuza ukuba kukho ummahluko phakathi kothando lukabawo nentombi kunye nothando lukayise kunye nendodana, inzululwazi ekuthetheni ukuba kukho umlinganiselo omncinane.
Uphononongo olutsha luhlolisise ulwahlulo phakathi kobawo abasebenzisana nabantwana babo neentombi zabo, kunye nokufumana okuthakazelisayo.
Isifundo
Isifundo, esenziwa kwiYunivesithi yase-Emory kwaye sanyatheliswa kwiphepha leNzululwazi yeNzululwazi , yafunda intsebenziswano phakathi koobawo kunye nabantwana babo bobabini besilisa kwithuba elingaphezu kweentsuku ezimbini. Kwakusekelwe kwiingcamango zangaphambili abazali abaphatha ngayo abafazi kunye nabantwana abesilisa ngokuhlukileyo kwaye benethemba lokubonisa ukuba le nyaniso yayinyani.
Abaphandi babenethemba lokuthoba ulwazi malunga nendlela ooyise basebenzisana ngayo nabantwana babo, bejonge indlela abathetha ngayo abantwana, bawaphi amagama abasebenzisayo, kunye nokuziphatha kwabo bonke. Konke ndawonye, amantombazana angama-30 kunye namakhwenkwe angama-22 athatha inxaxheba kwisifundo. Ooyise babantwana babegubha abarekhodi abakhethekileyo kwiibhanti zabo zomhla weveki kunye neveki, eguqule ngokungaqhelekanga kwaye babhala iingxoxo zabo nantoni na enye, njengengoma okanye ukudlala izandi zomsebenzi.
Iziphumo
Ekupheleni kolu cwaningo, abaphandi bafumanisa ukuba ootata basebenzisa ixesha elingaphezulu kwama-60 ekhulwini ixesha "bephendule ngokunyamekela" kwiintombi zabo kunye nendlela abaphendula ngayo oonyana babo. Baye bachitha ixesha eliphindwe kabili ixesha elibandakanyekayo ezindleleni ezingenanto, ezifana nokucula nokubetha ngeentombi zabo.
Kwaye ekugqibeleni, ootata bachitha ixesha elide bexoxa ngokuvakalayo imizwa yabo, kuquka nokudakumba, kunye namantombazana. Babenokwenzeka ukuba basebenzise amagama afana "ukukhala" kunye "no lonwabo," ukuchaza zabo iimvakalelo kunye nendlela abavakalelwa ngayo intombazana.
Kwaye mhlawumbi kakhulu, ootata basebenzise amagama amaninzi agxininisekile kwiimithi zabo zentombi, kuquka "amanqatha," "inyawo," "isisu," kunye "nobuso." Nangona yonke intsebenziswano yayingenasici, ngokuqinisekileyo, abaphandi babesazibuza ukuba ingaba yinto elula yokuba abantwana abancinci, bafunda ukunyamekela ukujonga kwabo, badlala indima ekuphuculweni komzimba wesikhathi eside .
Ngasesekupheleni, obawo basebenzisana kakhulu kunye noonyana babo, bachitha kathathu ngokuqhuba imisebenzi ende efana nokulwa. Baye bazama ukusebenzisa ulwimi oluthe lwabonisa ukuphumelela, njengamazwi afaka "ukuzidla," "ukuphumelela" okanye "okulungileyo."
Okuthakazelisayo ngokwaneleyo, uphando lufumanise ukuba akubona nje oobawo baphatha iintlobo zabo ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo, kodwa ukuba indlela yabo ingqondo isabela ngayo kwiintombi zabo zihluke ngokwenene. Ngoko indlela oobawo abanjwe ngayo, nokuba ngaba ngeminyaka yokuhlala kwimeko yentlalo okanye enye into, ukuphatha iintombi zabo ngokwahlukileyo.
Oko okufundiswayo
Nangona isifundo sijonge ngolu hlobo lokuba ootata basebenzisana nabo, bathetha nabo, benze ngendlela eyahlukileyo malunga neentombi kunye noonyana babo, kusengasitshelanga ngokupheleleyo ukuba kutheni. Kufana nenkukhu okanye iqanda: Ngaba iintombi zifunda ukuziphatha okuthile ukusuka kwindlela abazali abaphatha ngayo okanye obawo baphatha ngendlela ethile ngenxa yeendlela iintombi ziziphatha ngayo? Umbuzo onzima ngabaphandi bacinga ukuba unemiba emininzi-ukukhuliswa kwabazali, ukuxhatshazwa kweentlalo, kunye "neendlela" zesini zidlala inxalenye.
Ngokomzekelo, into yokuba oobawo basebenzise amagama amaninzi ukuchaza iimvakalelo kunye namantombazana kunokubanceda bafunde ukuthetha zabo iimvakalelo kangcono kunye nokuvelisa abanye.
Ngokutsho kweengcali ezininzi, abazali nabadala banokudlula ubundlobongela babo besini kwizenzo zabo kunye nendlela abaphatha ngayo ngaphandle kokuyiqonda. Ngoko izifundo ezifana nalezi zinokunceda abazali bavule amehlo abo ngendlela yokuba baphatha ngayo abantwana babo ngokusekelwe kwimiba yabo kwaye kubaluleke kakhulu, ukuba bangayitshintsha njani indlela yabo yokuziphatha kwixesha elizayo.
Into onokuyenza
Izifundo zangaphambili zibonise ukuba abazali abafuni ukuvuma ukuba baphatha abantwana babo ngendlela eyahlukileyo, eqondakalayo. Kodwa isifundo sibalulekile ukusinceda siqaphele iindlela ezahlukahlukeneyo esinokukunceda abantwana bazo zonke izilwanyana ukuba ziphuhlise. Ukuba ungumzali onyana, umzekelo, unokufuna ukuchitha ixesha elide uthetha nomntwana wakho ngeemvakalelo, usebenzisa amagama athile ukubiza imvakalelo okanye ukuthetha ngeemvakalelo zakho.
> Imithombo:
Mascaro, J. et al. (2017). Ukuziphatha kwezesini zobuntinini ukuziphatha komntwana, ulwimi kunye nomsebenzi wengqondo. I-Neuroscience, i- 131 (3), iphe. 262-273 Ukufunyanwa kwi-http: //www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/bne-bne0000199.pdf