Xa abantwana belahlekelwa ngumdlalo, ukujongana nokudumala kukufumana ithuba lokukhula
Ukunceda abantwana bafumane ukuphoxeka kufuneka kube yinto emininzi kwimisebenzi yabazali . Emva koko, mhlawumbi udidekile! Kuyinto enhle isisu-ukuphosa xa umntwana wakho ephakamileyo isikhundla sokuba amanqaku aphumelele umdlalo ... aze alahleke. Okanye unqwenela ukujoyina iqela lebhola lebhola kodwa akenzi. Ukuba ibhungu lakho lidlala imidlalo yolutsha, ekugqibeleni uya kudibana.
Ayikho yonke imidlalo, umdlalo, uhlanga, okanye kwanexesha eliya kuhamba ngendlela ethemba ngayo.
Iindaba ezilungileyo kukuba ukunqoba ukudumala kunakho-ngoncedo lwakho-kuba yithuba elihle lokufunda kumntwana wakho. " Ukuzithemba akunakuthi, 'Ndiyinto enjalo kwaye' 'umdlalo, uthi intatheli yengqondo yomntwana uTamar Chansky, Ph.D. "Abantwana baqikelela amandla abo, zabo izisombululo? Ngokwenene bafunda ukuqina " kwaye baziqhenyce ngokwabo.
Ukuba Nomsindo Ngomntwana Wakho
Qala ngokuvuma ukuqonda komntwana wakho okwenzekayo, utsho uChansky, ngubani umbhali wokuKhululwa komntwana wakho kwiNkcazo engcolileyo: Amandla, amaCandelo aSebenzayo wokwakha Ubomi boBomi, ukuFinzeka nokuNwaba (ukuthenga kwi-Amazon). Akudingeki ukuba uvumelane neengxelo zomntwana wakho ukuba ungumdlali obalaseleyo owake wahlala okanye akayi kuphinda ahambe enkundleni kwakhona. Kodwa unokuvakalelwa, kwaye ubonakalise iimvakalelo zakhe, ngeengxelo ezinjenge: "Uvakalelwa kakhulu ngale nto." UJim Thompson, umlawuli oyintloko we-Positive Coaching Alliance, uthi, "Injongo yakho kukuba umntwana wakho akhulume, ngokocela kunokuba utshele.
Londoloza ukuxelela elinye ixesha. "
Thatha ikhefu
Amaxesha amaninzi, abantwana badinga ixesha elide kumdlalo okanye isiganeko ngaphambi kokuba bazimisele ukuthetha ngawo. Ukuba iimvakalelo zomntwana wakho ziphezulu, kunokukunceda ukumxelela ukuba uyazikhukhumeza, kodwa akudingeki ukuba axoxe ngawo ngoku. Mxelele ukuba uya kufumaneka xa ekulungele ukuthetha.
Fumana kwisiqalo seNgxaki
Xa ixesha lokuthetha lifika, utsho uChansky, cinga injongo yakho kwingxoxo. "Ekugqibeleni, ufuna ukuba akwazi ukubona le meko ngokuchanekileyo kwaye engakhokelwa yimvakalelo yakhe," ucebisa. Amazwi akho akhuthazo akayi kubambelela ukuba konke akwazi ukwenzayo ngumfanekiso, ngokugqithiseleyo, umzuzu xa wabuya ibhola. UChansky uncoma ukuba abuze "Yintoni enye oye ugxila kuyo?" okanye "Yiyiphi into edidekayo kuwe malunga nokuzama?"
Ukuba uyayiphendula loo mbuzo, ngoko unokumnceda ukuba aqhubele phambili ngokutshintsha ngokugqithiseleyo ugxininiso lwakhe ezindleleni zokuphucula izakhono zakhe. Kwakhona unako ukukwazi ukuqwalasela izinto azenzile kakuhle ngexesha lomdlalo. Ukuba umntwana wakho upheleleke, unesibophelelo sokucinga ukuba enye impazamo isetyenziselwa indlela entsha (engonwabi). Qalisa ingcamango yomntu ongaphandle, utsho uChansky. Mbuze: Ukuba ubamba iibhola ezingama-50 uze uphelelwe enye, yintoni umcimbi ongavamile? Ukubanjwa okanye ukuphosa?
Lungele ixesha elilandelayo
Emva kokuba unqume ukuba yintoni ingxaki enjalo, ncedisa umntwana wakho ukuba acacise iindlela zokuzilungisa. Unokucela iziphakamiso ezivela kumqeqeshi, wenze ezinye izinto zokuzilolonga, okanye ufike nge-mantra unokuphinda aphinde aphinde aphinde afune ukuba uyazixhalabisa . Mncede amisele ezinye iinjongo ezithile, ezifikelelekayo kumdlalo olandelayo okanye kumsebenzi olandelayo.
Emva koko mdumise xa efezekisa.
Ukujongana Nezingane Ezilahlekileyo Xa Zingathethi
Ngokuxhomekeke kubuntu bakhe, umntwana wakho unokubonisa ukudideka ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Unokuba nobushushu kwaye uwonakalise, apho kufuneka ukuba umncede athole indlela yokuhambisa umsindo, njengokuba ugibele imithwalo okanye ukhawuleze.
Ukuba umntwana wakho uyabuya xa edidekile okanye edangele, khangela iindlela zokumkhupha. Usenokuthi, "Ndiyazi ukuba awufuni ukuthetha ngawo, kodwa kufuneka sifumane oko kwenzeka ngokwenene. Iimvakalelo zakho zenza kube mkhulu kunezinto ezenzekile," kusho uChansky. Unokuzama kwakhona indlela engathanga ngqo.
Mbuze ukuba ucinga ukuba umdlali wakhe othanda ukuzenza wenza iimpazamo kunye nendlela awaphatha ngayo. Ungatsho ukuthi: "Ukuba umprobi uthe ungumdlali owonakalisayo ngenxa yosuku olubi, ngaba uyavumelana naye? Uthi, 'Ewe, ndicinga ukuba ufuna ukuyeka?'"
"Ukudideka kukuba nethuba elihle lokuqinisa iimpawu ezintle" njengokuzimisela nokuzinza, uthi uYim Thompson. "Sinesixhobo esizibiza ngokuthi 'Uhlobo lomntu.' Sithetha oko kubantwana, kulandelwa into efana 'ayiyikuyeka lula'; 'ibambelela kwizinto'; 'ibuyisela emuva'; 'ayivumeli iimpazamo kukuyeke ukudlala umdlalo oyithandayo.' Ukuphulaphula okuqala ukujamelana nomntwana.