Indlela yokunika umntwana wakho amaqiniso ayakufuna ukuzikhusela
Njengokuba kungathandeki kwaye kuyothushe njengoko kunokuba ngabazali bacinge malunga nokuba kungenzeka ukuba umntwana wabo utyhathwe yizilwanyana, kubalulekile ukuba abazali bathethe nabantwana babo ngokukhuseleko lwabo . Ukufundisa umntanakho indlela yokuzikhusela kubantwana abancinci kubalulekile njengamanye amanyathelo owenza ngayo imihla ngemihla ukuze ahlale ekhuselekileyo, njengokuqinisekisa ukuba usebenzisa ibhande lokuhlala .
Ngokufundisa umntwana wakho ukuba angayiphephe njani ingozi kunye nokuba yintoni enokuyenza xa efumana imeko engasongelayo, uya kuxhobisa umntwana wakho ukuba azi ukuba wenzeni kwimeko apho awukho khona ukukhusela. Nazi ezinye iingcebiso ezifunekayo ngamnye umzali omele azi malunga nendlela yokugcina umntwana wakho ephephile.
Iingcebiso ezibalulekileyo
Fundisa umntwana wakho amandla okuthi " Awu . " Abantwana abancinci banomdla kakhulu ekufuneni abantwana abanokwesaba okanye abanqwenela ukuchasana nomntu omdala, okanye ngubani ongasongelwa okanye aphephe. Tshela umntwana wakho ukuba athembele emzimbeni wakhe xa engaziva ekhululekile okanye esabayo kumntu, ukuxelela loo mntu ngelizwi elikhulu, "Hayi!" ukuba ucelwa ukuba agcine imfihlelo okanye ahambe kwindawo ethile nomntu ngaphandle kwakho, kwaye akuxelele ngokukhawuleza ngoko kwenzekayo.
Ungacingi ukuba umntwana wakho uyazi ukuba wenzeni. Kwincwadi yakhe Ukukhusela Isipho: Ukugcina Abantwana Nabafana Abakhuselekileyo (kunye nabazali Sane), umcebisi okhuseleyo wenqabileyo uGavin de Becker uthetha inxalenye yeklasi ye -Oprah Winfrey Show eyenziwe ngo-1993.
Kulo mboniso, abakhiqizi be- Oprah kunye nokukhusela kwabantwana uKen Wooden baqhuba uvavanyo (kunye nemvume yabazali) apho bakwazi ukukhanga ngempumelelo umntwana ngamnye ongenelayo kwibala lokudlala ngaphandle kwemigangatho engama-35. Ngaphambi kokulinga, abazali babebanqwenela ukuba umntwana angayi kuthetha nomfokazi okanye aphume epakini nomntu engazange azi.
Akufuneki ukuthetha, bekungalunganga ukuba bacinge ukuba umntwana wabo akayi kuba sengozini.
Ungagxininisi "kwingozi engaphandle." Kubantwana, ingakumbi abantwana abaselula, ingcamango yokuba ngubani "umfokazi" ngokuqinisekileyo unokudideka. Basenokumfanekisa umntu okhangelekayo, okanye ngubani othethayo. Enyanisweni, iingcali zokhuseleko lwabantwana zibonise kwizilingo ezinjengalezi zikhankanywe ngasentla ukuba abantwana baya kulandela umntu ukuba loo mntu ubonakala enobungane kwaye ekholisa ngokwaneleyo (ngokucela umntwana ukuba abancede bafumane ipilisi elahlekileyo, umzekelo).
Ngaphezu koko, njengoko u-Becker ephawula ekukhuseleni iSipho , ngokuxelela umntwana ukuba angazithembi abantu abangaqhelekanga, abazali bathetha ngokucacileyo ukuba kulungile ukuthemba abantu abangabaziyo ngokungaqhelekanga, njengommelwane okanye umncedisi kwivenkile yokutyela. Okubaluleke kakhulu, ayinakucwangcisa into yokuba ingozi kubantwana baninzi kumntu owaziwayo kubo okanye ngaphandle komntu ongaqhelekanga, u-Nancy McBride, uMlawuli weSizwe woKhuseleko kwiSizwe sikaZwelonke seZiko eziPhuhliweyo kunye neeNtshonkco (NCMEC).
Endaweni yokuxelela umntwana wakho ukuba angalokothi akhulume nabantu abangaziwayo, oko kungenako ukumnqanda ekufuneni uncedo xa elahlekile, mfundise ukuba athole umfazi - mhlawumbi umntu onomntwana - aze amcele ukuba abize i-911 okanye ubize abazali bakhe kwaye ubatshele apho ukhona.
Okunye okukhethwa kukho: "Xelela umntwana wakho ukuba ahambe kumabhalane wokuthengisa enegama legama, igosa elinyanisiweyo lokunyanzeliswa komthetho, okanye umntu kwiziko leenkcukacha," kusho uMcBride.
Yaye ukuba ubona umntwana obonakala elahlekile? I-NCMEC ivelise iqela elibizwa ngokuthi, "Yintoni omele uyenze xa ubona umntwana obonakala elahlekile?" ukunceda abantu bazi ukuba benzani xa befumana umntwana obonakala efuna uncedo ekufumaneni abazali bakhe okanye umkhathaleli.
Tshela umntwana wakho ukuba akukho mntu kufuneka ahlasele indawo yakhe. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba kwindawo yoluntu okanye ekhaya, gxi ninisa kumntwana ukuba akukho mntu ufanele asondele kuye ngaphandle komncedisi okanye omnye wabazali bakhe abakhona.
Khetha abantu abadala abathembekileyo. Yenza uludwe olufutshane lwabantu abadala "abakhuselekileyo" njengomalume, umntana, umkhulu-makhulu okanye ummelwane - ovunyelwe ukumkhetha esikolweni okanye ukumnyamekela xa ungekho okanye ufike emva kokuthatha. Mxelele ukuba angahambi nanoma ngubani na ngaphandle kokuba uvumelene ngaphambili ukuba uphambuke kuloluhlu, kwaye uhlale uqinisekisa ukuba uyazi kakuhle ngubani oza kumkhetha.
Mxelele ukuba angalokothi angene kwimoto okanye aye kwindawo ethile ngaphandle komzali okanye umkhathaleli. Ugxininise kumntwana wakho ukuba umntu owaziyo (kodwa akayena umntu othembekileyo othembekileyo) okanye umntu engazange adibana naye ngaphambi kokuzama ukumkholisa okanye ukumphoqa ukuba ahambe naye, kufuneka afune ukumemeza ngokukhawuleza njengoko akunako, "Uncedo! akuyena ubaba! " okanye "Uncedo! Lo akayena umama!" Mxelele ukuba naye kufuneka agijime, kwaye ukuba uyabamba, ukuba ahlabe, athabathe kwaye atyebe ngokukhawuleza njengoko akunako.
Musa ukubangela ukwesaba. Ukutshintsha nje iindaba ezihlwaya kwanele ukwenza abantwana - kunye nabantu abadala - bazive ngathi kunobungozi kwiindawo zonke. Uloyiko lwemiqathango yonke lunokuthi lube luphikisana nokuvelisa kwaye lunokwenza umntwana abe noloyiko kuyo yonke into ayimngcipheko yokujongelwa yizinto ezisongelayo.
Kunoko, kunika umntwana ithemba , amandla kunye nezixhobo zokukhusela nokulawula ingozi. Kunokuba ugxile kuzo zonke iingozi umntwana wakho anokujamelana nazo, xhobisa umntwanakho ngokuthetha naye malunga nendlela aya kuqonda ngayo kwaye aphephe iimeko ezinobungozi kwaye athathe izinto ezithile ezingalindelekanga. Ngokomzekelo, yintoni eya kuyenza ukuba wayahlukaniswe ngengozi kwindawo kawonkewonke? (Phendula: Khangela umfazi onomntwana okanye umntwana aze umcele uncedo.) Okanye yintoni enye indlela engcono yokuyiphatha xa umntu eyaziyo-athi, ummelwane okanye umhlobo wentsapho - mcele ukuba eze naye, ubiza ukuba umthumelele ukukufumana kwimeko engxamisekileyo? (Phendula: Yazi ukuba kuphela abantu abadala abathembekileyo ababebizwa ngaphambili ngawe - njengotatomkhulu okanye esinye isihlobo - kwaye akukho mntu uvumelekileyo ukuba eze aze amfumane.)
Sebenzisa izixhobo zabantwana. Jonga iividiyo ezifana ne -Safe Side - Ukhuseleko lwamaqhinga: Iingcebiso Ezintsha Zokugcina Abantwana Abakhululekileyo Abakhuselekileyo Abantu Bengazi Nabo Kinda Bazi , bephethe uJohn Walsh nomntwana wakho. I-website yeCandelo eliKhuselekileyo likwasetyenziswe nezixhobo ezilungiselelwe abantwana ezifana ne-quiz, ipuzzles, kunye namacebiso okukhusela.
Iziko leSizwe le-Children's Missing & Exploited (NCMEC) linabo ubutyebi bezinto zokukhusela abantwana, abagadi, nabantwana kwi-Missingkids.com.
Phinda le miyalezo. Kanye njengoko uthanda ngokubamba umlilo, qhelanisa nezi ngcebiso zokukhusela kunye nomntwana wakho. (Yenza oku ngakumbi ngokukhawuleza emva kwexesha lesikolweni kwaye ekuqaleni kwehlobo, xa abantwana bakho banokungaphandle kweyona nto-into eyaziwa kakhulu kubaxhamli). Xa uphandle kwindawo ephakamileyo njengendawo yokuthengisa okanye ipaki, cela umntwana wakho ukuba uza kwenza ntoni ukuba uyahlukana. Yiyiphi ebantwini abakujikelezeyo eya kucela uncedo? Bhekisela kuye abanye abantu abanokumncedisa. Ngaba uyayikhumbula inombolo yakho yefowuni?