I-stigma malunga nokudakumba kokudlulela emva kokubeleka kumama kuncipha. Sithetha ngoku ngaphezulu kwiimidiya, kwiiofisi zonyango nakumaqela omama. Kuyamangalisa ukuba ibhinqa elithile lifuna unyango, kodwa ngaba sishiya ootata? Oomhla banamhlanje badlala indima ebalulekileyo ekukhuliseni abantwana. Nangona ootata babelana ngemisebenzi yokukhulisa abantwana kunye nokuchitha ixesha elide ekhaya, oomama banamhlanje banenkxalabo yokudakumba kwexesha lokugqibela kunye nexhala.
Uxinzelelo olusemva kokuzalwa komntwana (PPND), okanye iimeko zesifo sengqondo esiswini kunye neengxaki zokuxhalaba (i-PPMADs) zihlobo lwexinzelelo okanye esinye isifo sengqondo ezifana nokuxhalabisa. Ezi ngxaki zifana noko abanye abantwana bafumana emva kokuba umntwana omtsha afike. Abaninzi kwabazali abane abatsha baseUnited States banokuhlangabezana nokudakumba okukhulu kweeveki ezine emva kokuzalwa komntwana. Kufikelela kuma-50 ekhulwini amadoda axela uxinzelelo lwabazali emva kokuzalwa kwengqondo xa iqabane lalo lijongene nokudakumba kwesithuba, kunye nokuqikelelwa kweepesenti ezingama-18 zamadoda ezixhalabileyo emva kokutshatyalaliswa ekufuneka zixilongwe kwaye zonyango. La manani ayamangalisa kakhulu, kodwa ukothusayo ngakumbi kukuba le mininzi yempilo yengqondo ayifumananga, ifunyenwe okanye iphathwe.
Uphononongo olutshanje lugqithise imiphumo emibi eyenziwa yinkxwaleko yokukhathazeka kunye noxinzelelo kubazali njengoko abantwana bekhula bebancinane.
Kuphando lwaphando olusuka kwiNyuvesi yaseNorthwestern yophando lulandelelanise imibhangqwana engu-199 ngexesha lokuqala kweeveki ezintandathu zokuphila komntwana kwaye yabuyela kwisiqabane emva kweenyanga ezingama-45. Ngokomntu ngamnye, umzali ngamnye uzalise iimbuzo zokuvavanya amanqanaba abo okudandatheka kunye neemvakalelo zabo neempawu zabo.
Uhlolisiso lufumene ukuba utata onabantwana blues unokuba nempembelelo eninzi kwimpatho yomntwana njengokuba umama ejongene nale nto.
"Inyaniso kukuba, ngenxa yokuba baninzi ngabazali ababini kwikhaya abasebenza nomntwana, bobabini iimpawu ezixinzelelekileyo zabazali banokuba nezinga elifanayo elichaphazelayo ukuba zombini kufuneka baqwalaselwe," kutsho uShehan D. Fisher, umbhali-mbhali wesifundo.
Ukudabuka kunye nokungabikho kokushukumiseka okuhambisana nokudakumba kwangemva kokubeleka kunokubangela umzali ongekho phantsi kwaye ngoku ukuba ootata babandakanyeka njengamama, kubalulekile ukugxila kwiimfuno zabazali bobabini.
"Ngokuqhelekileyo, kwinkcubeko yethu, oobawo abazange bathathwe njengento ebalulekileyo ekukhathaleleni umntwana," utsho uFisher. "Ngoku ukuba kukho utshintsho obawo obandakanyekayo, ndicinga ukuba siqala ukubona ukuba kufuneka sijolise kubo bobabili abazali."
Yintoni enokunyusa amathuba akho okuba neengxaki zengqondo zomzimba kunye neengxaki zokuxhalabisa:
- Ukungabi nobuthongo obuhle
- Iinguqu kwiimodmoni
- Imbali yomntu woxinzelelo
- Ulwalamano olubi kunye nomlingane
- Ulwalamano olubi kunye nomzali omnye okanye bobabini
- Uxinzelelo lobudlelwane - kunye nomlingane okanye kunye nemithetho kamasipala
- Ukuxinzelela ngokweqile ngokuba ngumzali okanye utata
- Intsapho engapheliyo (njengokungatshatanga okanye utata)
- Ukungasebenzi kakuhle kwezentlalo
- Ukungabi ncediso lwabanye
- Iingxaki zoqoqosho okanye izibonelelo ezincinci
- Ingqiqo yokukhutshwa ngaphandle kokungqinelana phakathi koomama nosana
Izibonakaliso zengqondo yomntu oyedwa kunye neengxaki zokuxhalabisa:
Usenokuba nesifo sengqondo sokuzalwa komntu kunye nokukhathazeka kokuxhalaba xa uziva uxhalabile, ungenanto, ucatshukiswa kwaye unomsindo, okanye ungabikho kolawulo emva kokuzalwa komntwana. Ezinye iimpawu amadoda angavakalelwa ziquka ukukhathazeka okuqhubekayo ngokubonelela ngemali kwintsapho yakho, ukungathandeki ngokuzala, ukuzithiba okanye ukuhoxiswa kwintsapho kunye nabahlobo. Ngamanye amaxesha ukuxinezeleka kwamadoda kubonakala njengempawu zomzimba, iingxaki zokulala, ukungasebenzi ngokwesini, i-backache, iintlungu zesifo okanye iintlungu zokutya.
Unyango lwengqondo yomntu oyedwa kunye neengxaki zokuxhalabisa:
Isinyathelo sokuqala kunyango sivulela iqabane lakho kunye nabanye abathandekayo. - ukuvuma nje ukuba unzima kunzima. Amadoda amaninzi awaxubusha ezi ntlobo zentlungu kwaye unokuba neengxaki ukuqala ingxoxo ukuze abafazi bafanele bancede amaqabane abo aneengxoxo ezinzima. Isinyathelo esilandelayo sifumana umboneleli wezempilo oqeqeshekileyo, njengogqirha okanye ugqirha ongakwazi ukuvavanya iimpawu zakho aze eze kwisicwangciso sonyango esikusebenzelayo. Amadoda athile angenelwa kwi-psychotherapy ngamnye okanye ajoyine iqela lokuxhasa namanye amadoda anzima nezinto ezifanayo. Kwabanye, amayeza angafuneka. Ukuzinyamekela kubaluleke kakhulu kubazali bobabini ngexesha lexesha lokugqibela. Thatha ixesha lakho-ingaba ubusuku kunye nabahlobo, ukuhamba okude okanye ixesha elithile kwi-gym. Le mi sebenzi iya kuba yinto eyahlukileyo kubabawo bonke, kodwa kubalulekile ukukhumbula indoda owayeyiyo ngaphambi kokuba ufumane umntwana kwaye ufumane unwabo kwimisebenzi eyenza ujabule ngaphambi kokuba ube ngubaba.