Ukuxhalabisa kunye nomzali kunokungena ngesandla. Kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukukhathazeka ngekamva lakho lomntwana kwaye ukhathazeke ngokukhusela umntwana wakho. Kodwa abanye abazali, bayalwela ukujongana nokuxhalabisa. Ngoko kunokuba bajamelane nokungahambi kakuhle, baba ngababi kakhulu. Ngelishwa, oko kunokugxotha intuthuko yomntwana kwaye kumthintele ekufumaneni izakhono afuna ukuba ngumntu omdala onoxanduva.
Ingaba unengxaki yokukhathazeka, okanye unokufumana ingxaki yokuxhalabisa, qwa lasela ezintlanu iindlela zakho zokuxhalabisa ezinokufumana indlela yokukhulisa umntwana onoxanduva:
1. Uyenza yonke into yakho
Abazali abaxhalabisayo bahlala bexela ukuba umntwana wabo uya kuphuka into okanye ukuhlawula okuthile. Kunokuba amvumele ukuba athathe ipasethi yakhe okanye alayishe umfaki-dishwasher eyedwa, umzali onxinekayo unokumenza nje.
Nangona kunokuba lula ukwenza konke ngokwakho, abantwana bafunda izakhono zobomi ngokwenza izinto ngokuzimela. Nangona ziza kuphazamiseka ngamanye amaxesha, iimpazamo zifunda njani. Yamkela ukuba kuya kubakho amaxesha apho umntwana wakho eza kutywala isiselo sakhe okanye aphule amathoyizi akhe, kodwa uyazi ukuba yonke inxalenye yenkqubo yokufunda.
2. Ungenelela ngokukhawuleza njengoko umntwana wakho elwa
Akukho mntu ufuna ukubona umntwana ehlupheka, kodwa kubazali, ukubukela ubunzima bentlungu kunokukhathazeka ngokukodwa.
Umntwana ovumela ukukhala ngokukrakra xa eqhuba umsebenzi wakhe wesikolo, okanye othi, "Andikwazi ukwenza oku," xa iibhloko zakhe ziwela, kunokukhokelela umzali oxhalabileyo ukuba afikelele kuye.
Abantwana kufuneka bafunde indlela yokujongana neemvakalelo ezingenakukhathazeka , njengenxunguphalo. Baphinde badinga amathuba okusebenzisa izakhono zokuxazulula iingxaki ngokwabo.
Ukubasindisa ekuboniseni umzabalazo wokuqala kunokubakhusela ukuba bafunde indlela yokuyisingatha imingeni ngokwabo.
3. Wena Micromanage Imisebenzi Yomntwana Wakho
Ukubukela umntwana kwenza izinto ngendlela yakhe, kwaye ngokwemiqathango yakhe, kunokunyusa ukukhathazeka komzali othile. Banobunzima ukuvumela umntwana enze into ngokuzimela ngenxa yokoyika ukuba 'akayi kwenza okulungileyo.' Ngomgudu wokugcina uxhalaba, abanye abazali bamele umntwana, bemelela ukuba wenza izinto ngokufanelekileyo.
Umzali owenza imisebenzi yamalanga ngemihla ebangela umntwana ukuba axhomekeke ngokunyanisekileyo. Izingane zidinga amathuba okubonisa ukuba zikwazi ukuziphatha ngokufanelekileyo kwaye ukuba nomzali uhlole yonke into abenzayo ukuba zifunde indlela yokwenza izinto ngokwazo.
4. Awuyi kuvumela umntwana ukuba enze Iminyaka efanelekileyo Imisebenzi
Ukuvumela umntwana ukuba ahlale ekhaya yedwa okanye awele kwisitalato okokuqala, unokubangela uxhalabisayo malunga naluphi na umzali. Kodwa kunokuba babhekane nobunzima, abanye abazali banciphisa ukuxhalaba kwabo ngokungafuni ukuvumela umntwana wabo ukuba athathe inxaxheba kwimisebenzi efanelekileyo yeminyaka.
Ngamanye amaxesha abantwana bayaphula, baxakeke kwaye bathathe ingozi abafanelekanga. Kodwa imiphumo yendalo ingaba ngumfundisi olungileyo. Abantwana badla ngokufuna izikhokelo ezingaphezulu, kunye nezithintelo ezimbalwa, ngoko banokufunda ukwenza ukhetho oluhle ngokwabo.
5. Ugcina iMigqaliselo ekhuni kunye neNqatha
Ngamanye amaxesha abazali baziva bekhululekile xa benemithetho enzima kwaye ikhawuleza, nangona kungekho zizathu ezifanelekileyo kubo. Ingaba ufuna ukufumana isidlo sasemini kufuneka unikezwe emini kwinqatyana, okanye ungavumeli umntwana wakho ukuba ahlale ixesha elidlulileyo lokulala, imithetho yemilingo inokuthi isebenze enye injongo-ukugcina uxhalaba lwakho lugxile.
Nangona kubalulekile ukuba nemithetho ecacileyo, ukunyanzela ngokugqithiseleyo kunye nolawulo lungaba yingozi. Abantwana kufuneka baqonde ukuba kukho ukungabikho kumgaqo - njengoko kulungile ukuphazamisa ukuba indlu iyatshisa. Fundisa umntwana wakho ukuba ukucinga okugqithiseleyo kunye nokuguquguquka ngokubonisa ukuzimisela ukugoba imigaqo ngamanye amaxesha.