Udliwano-ndlebe no-Ingrid Kellaghan
Kubalulekile ukufumana umfana osebenzisa izicwangciso zokuziphatha ezifanayo ukulungisa iingxaki zokuziphatha komntwana wakho. Kodwa, ngamanye amaxesha, ukufumana umfana onendlela efanayo yokuqeqesha kungabakho nkathazo.
U-Ingrid Kellaghan, umsunguli weCambridge Nanny Group e-Chicago, uxelela indlela abazali abangasebenzisana ngayo kunye nomntwana ukujongana nemiba yokuziphatha.
I-Kellaghan yinkcazo ehamba phambili kwimicimbi yokukhuthaza abantwana, ukuphuhliswa kwabantwana, imisebenzi efanelekileyo emidlalweni kunye nokudlala, ubuchule obufanelekileyo bokuqeqeshwa, kunye nokunxibelelana okulungileyo phakathi kwabazali kunye nabazali kunye nabanakekeli.
Kubaluleke kangakanani kubazali kunye nomntwana ukuba bahlanganyele ngeenkolelo ezifanayo ezisisiseko malunga nokuziphatha kwabantwana kunye nokuziphatha kweendlela?
Imilinganiselo engundoqo yenkxaso yintloko yintloko yezobuhlobo bonke abaphumeleleyo. Ingumqondiso omkhulu wempumelelo yexesha elide kunokuba nekhono lobuchule, amava, kunye nobuchule bokusebenza. Yiyo iglue egcina yonke into kunye. Xa ukungavumelani okuvela ngokuphindaphindiweyo kubangelwa yimfilosofi ephikisanayo nendlela umntwana kufuneka akhuliswe ngayo.
Ekupheleni kosuku, unina ungumproxy umzali. Ukuze ulwalamano lusebenze kakuhle, iifilosofi kunye nesimo sengqondo, kuquka ukuqeqeshwa kufuneka kulungelelaniswe. Iingcamango ezabelwanayo ziyimpikiswano ebalulekileyo engafanelekanga.
Yiyiphi imibuzo abazali abayifunayo ukuze bafunde okungakumbi malunga nendlela yomntwana yokuqeqesha?
Inqakrazo yokufumana indlela yomninimzi yokuqeqesha ilungiselela imibuzo engqiniswano eyakhayo. Kuthetha ukunyuka. Umfaki-sicelo kufuneka akuxelele ngamava athile xa ebonisa indlela yakhe yokuziphatha.
Injongo kukufumanisa ukuba indlela yakhe yokuziphatha iyahambelana neyakho. Xa senziwe ngokuchanekileyo, umviwa makangacelwa ukuba aphendule kwimpendulo oyifunayo.
Cinga ngokubuza imibuzo elandelayo:
- Ndixelele ngexesha omele uqeqeshe umntwana. Yintoni eyenzekayo kwaye yintoni isenzo sokulungisa owathathayo?
- Ndixelele ngexesha elithile umntwana onenkathalo yakho wayenomsindo. Yintoni eyenzekayo kwaye wathini na?
- Ndixelele ngexesha apho umntwana engayithobeli imiyalelo yakho. Wawusingatha njani?
- Ndixelele ngexesha apho unengxaki kwixesha elidlulileyo emva komyalelo womzali malunga nokuqeqeshwa? Kutheni ungavumelani nalo?
- Ndixelele malunga nexesha apho umzali engavumelani nendlela yakho ekuqeqesheni umntwana wabo. Yintoni eyenzekayo kwaye yenziwa njani?
- Ndixelele ngexesha apho ungavumelani nendlela yomzali yokuqeqesha. Ngaba uyidibanise nomzali?
Ziziphi iintlobo zeengxaki ezinokuvela xa umntwana enelindeleke ngokungafaniyo malunga nendlela umntwana afanele aziphathe ngayo okanye malunga naziphi izicwangciso zokuziphatha ezisetyenziswayo?
Ngaphambi kokuba uqeshe i-nanny yakho phantsi kwaye ubeke izikhokelo ezicacileyo zoqeqesho. Yenza indlela yakhe yokusabela ngayo. Ukuba umnakekeli wakho akayihloneli imithetho yakho , akayi kubagxininisa.
Oku kunokukhokelela ekuxabaneni kwendlela, kunye nokudideka komntwana.
Yintoni abazali abayenzayo xa bekholelwa ukuba umntanakho unesiqhwala okanye unxilise kunye nabantwana?
Uqeshe umntanakho njengomqeqeshi ocacileyo ngokufanelekileyo ekunakekeleni abantwana, ngoko vula ukuva malunga noko akucinga ukuba kufanelekile. Ngokomzekelo, ngelixa unokuba ne-laissez-faire indlela yokutya ukutya ngaphambi kokutya, unokucinga ukuba yinto engcolileyo.
Mvalele ngaphandle. Mhlawumbi unokuzama indlela yakhe okanye ufumane indlela yokudibanisa phakathi kweendlela ezimbini zokucinga. Ukuxhobisa i-nanny yakho iya kwenza abantwana bakho bahloniphe ngakumbi-kwaye baya kwenza ukuba ikhaya lakho liqhube kakuhle.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuba umntanakho unobunzima (usebenze kakuhle, ukukhala, ukuhlambalaza okanye ukunyelisa) okanye ucoceke kakhulu (ukuvumela, ukunyusa, ukuxhamla) xubushe ngqo ngqo nomntwana. Ukuba umntanakho akabonakali ukuzimisela kwakhe ukwenza utshintsho olukhawulezayo, kunokuba ixesha lokukhangela umkhathaleli omtsha.
Ngamanye amaxesha abazali banenkxalabo yokuba umntanama akanakuhlala exelela ibali elipheleleyo malunga neengxaki zokuziphatha komntwana. Abazali bangaqinisekisa njani ukuba bafumana ibali elipheleleyo malunga nokuziphatha komntwana kunye neendlela zokuziphatha ezisetyenziswa ngumntwana?
Uchithe ixesha elininzi ngokucokisekileyo ukwenza uluhlu lwezinto zokuyenza okanye imiyalelo yomnxeba, kodwa ngaba utyalombile ixesha lokudala indawo yobudlelwane obusondeleyo kunye nokuthembela? Umntwana kufuneka akhululeke ukuzisa yonke imingeni, imibuzo kunye neenkxalabo kuwe.
Xa unomdla kunokuba uzikhusele kwaye uzimisele ukuphulaphula abanye kwizinga elingaphantsi, unesiva uziva ukhululekile ukuvula kunye nokwabelana. Yilo lwazi loqhagamshelwano olunikeza wena, njengomqeshi wakhe, ithuba elikhulu lokwenza umehluko kwimisebenzi yakho yemihla ngemihla kunye nomntwana wakho.
Hlalani rhoqo kunye nexesha lokuhlangana kunye nomntu. Ngethuba lakho lokuphulaphula, ukulungisa iingxaki, ukuthonya, ukwenza izigqibo, nokudala indawo apho abasebenzi baziva beva kwaye banamandla.
Awukwazi ukwenza oku ngokusebenzisa umbhalo okanye i-imeyile. Awukwazi ukwenza oku xa usuka emnyango ekuseni okanye uhamba emnyango ngokuhlwa kunye nabantwana befuna ukuba uqaphele.
Njengomqeshi womnxeba, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba ukwazi ukuthetha ngokukhululekile nangokunyanisekileyo malunga neemeko zobomi bomntwana wakho-kuquka nayiphi na imiba yokuziphatha.
Ngaphantsi-ukuba umntu ongenakuziva ukhululekile ukuza kuwe, akayi kuthi. Yakha indawo yokusebenza apho impendulo yakhe ingabonakali kuphela-kodwa ikhuthazwe.
Abazali banokusebenzisana njani nomntwana ukulungisa iingxaki ezithile zokuziphatha?
Hlala phantsi kunye kwaye wenze isigqibo malunga nendlela oza kusebenzisana ngayo ngokuqeqesha. Abanye abazali banqwenela ukubonisana nemibandela enjenge-ukubetha, ukugonyana , okanye ukuxhatshazwa, kanti ezinye zifana nokugqithiswa kwiziphene ezininzi.
Nangona kunjalo, kuya kubaluleka kwimithetho esemgangathweni yokumiselwa kwaye i-nanny inikezwa imiyalelo ecacileyo malunga nendlela izinto kufuneka ziqwalaselwe ngayo kwaye zilungiswe.
Sebenzisanani kunye nokwakha indlela efanelekileyo yokuziphatha esebenzisa ukulindela okucacileyo, imiphumo ecacileyo, kunye "nokuthotyelwa".
- Chaza ukulindela okucacileyo okufanelekileyo kwiminyaka yomntwana.
- Imiphumo edibeneyo ngokucacileyo ehambelana nobudala bomntwana
- Umzali kunye neNanny kufuneka bavumelane nokulandelelana okulungileyo, okuqinileyo kunye okuqhubekayo
Ngokubanzi, xa kuziwa kuma-nannies, ngaba kukho iindlela ezithile zokuziphatha eziza kusebenza kangcono kunabanye?
IiNannies kufuneka zisebenzise ubuchule bokuqeqeshwa . Isiyalo esifanelekileyo sifilosofi esiphezulu esinceda umntwana ahlakulele isazela ngengqeqesho yakhe yangaphakathi kunye novelwano kwabanye. Isijeziso somdabu sifundisa into engalunganga, kodwa akunakunceda rhoqo umntwana ukuba afunde okulungileyo.
Injongo yokuqeqesha kukufundisa. Ifundisa ukuzithiba kunye nokuziphatha okwamkelekileyo kuluntu. Ukhuthaza ukuziphatha kakuhle ngokulungisa ukuziphatha kakubi nokudumisa ukuziphatha okuhle . Uqeqesho lithuba lokubonisa imbeko, umonde, kunye nokulungisa ingxaki .