Yintoni Kuthatha Ukwakha Ubudlelwane?
Kunzima ukuza kubalwa amanani, kodwa abaninzi balabo abasebenzelana neentsapho bathi bawubonile i-uptick: Abaselula abaselula kunokuba banokubambisana nabazali babo. Kwabazali nogogo, oko kudla ukuthetha ukulahleka koqhagamshelwano nabazukulwana babo.
Iindaba ezilungileyo kukuba abantwana abaninzi abadala bathi bangathanda ukubuyela kubazali babo ebomini babo.
Phantse ama-60% abo bazalise uphando kwi-website ye-Estranged Stories bathi bangathanda ukuba nolwalamano nomntu abavela kuye "ngoku okanye ngexesha elizayo."
Ukuphumeza ukubuyisana
Xa ebuzwa ukuba kuya kuthatha ntoni ukubuyisana, impendulo ethandwa kakhulu kukuba abazali bafuna ukuthatha uxanduva. Ngokuqinisekileyo, oku kuthetha ukunyanzelwa kuyo nayiphi na into eyenziwa ngabazali eyabangela ukuhlukana. Ingxaki kukuba abazali abaninzi bathi bakumnyama malunga nokungahambi kakuhle. Phakathi kwabazali abathatha inxaxheba kwiseshoni ye-Estranged Stories, i-60% yathi abantwana babo babengakaze "babelane ngokuthe ngqo" ngezizathu zabo zokunqunyana nomnxeba.
Ukwahlukana kobuzwe
Izizathu zokungquzulana nabantwana abadala ziyakwazi ukuhluka ngokubanzi. Ngamanye amaxesha abantwana abadala bafumana iphutha ngendlela abakhulisayo ngayo. Basenokungaqondi ukuba mhlawumbi bakhule xa umzali onobuqhetseba wayesengumgaqo owamkelekileyo wokukhulisa abantwana.
Nangona umzali waqala ukuvunywa ngokwengeziwe emva kweMfazwe Yehlabathi II, kuthatha iminyaka emininzi ukuba lolu tshintsho lube khona, ngakumbi eMelika. Phantse phantse yonke inkulungwane yeshumi elinamibini, abazali abalungileyo basebenzisa isijeziso. Enyanisweni, baxelelwa ukuba ukuba abazange basebenzise ijelo, bebazali ababi.
Kwaye iinkokeli zonqulo zakhuthaza isijeziso. Oko abanye abantu abanokuyicinga ukuxhaphaza namhlanje badlulela kubazali abanokudala kungekudala.
Ngokufanayo, ngamanye amaxesha abantwana abadala banomuzwa wokuthi abazange bakhuliswe njengoko bekufanele ukuba babe. Kwiintsapho ezininzi zexesha elidlulileyo, ke, uthando aluzange luboniswe ngomlomo okanye ngomzimba. Ukucinga kwangoku kukuba abazali babonisa uthando lwabo kubantwana babo ngokunyamekela. Akukho mntu ukhathazeke kakhulu ngengqondo yomntwana okanye ukuzithemba.
Ezinye iiNgxaki
Abantwana abadala bahlala bebacaphukisa ngenxa yomtshato wabo ophukileyo wabazali, ngokusoloko bebetyala omnye umlingane okanye omnye. Enye ingxaki eqhelekileyo kukuba abantwana abadala baziva ukuba abazali babo ababaqapheli njengabantu abadala abanokwenza izigqibo zabo. Kwezinye iimeko, iqabane lomntwana liyinxalenye yokuhlukana. Abazali abanakuyithandi okanye bayamkela iqabane. Ukungathobeli kwabo kwenza ukuba umntwana akhethe phakathi kwabazali kunye neqabane.
Musa ukuzimela
Kungenzeka ukuba abazali bakwazi ukuthethelela ezinye zezenzo zabo zangaphambili; Noko ke, ukuzikhusela kuyingozi. Ukuba ngaba abazali babonisa ukuba izinto abazenzayo zilungile okanye ziyamkelekile, oko kulandela ukuba amanye amaqela ayengalunganga kwimpendulo yabo, kwaye ukubonisa ukuba umntu ophosakeleyo akanakulungiselela naluphi na ucingo.
Ziziphi abantwana abadala abakuthethayo ukuba banqwenela ukuba abazali babo bathathe uxanduva kwaye, kwezinye iimeko, xolisa. Nazi ezinye iindidi ezifunekayo:
- Uxolo.
- Ndiyayiqonda indlela ozivakalayo ngayo.
- Ndiyazi ukuba ndenze iimpazamo.
- Ndingaba ndixhase ngakumbi (uncedo, ukuqonda, uthando, njl njl).
Musa ukuBhenela ngokomzwelo
Abazali bahlala befuna ukuthetha malunga nokuba buhlungu bunjani ukuhlukaniswa kwabo. Abantwana abadala abaye bathatha umlinganiselo ogqithiseleyo wokunqumla umnxeba abaya kuchatshazelwa intlungu yabazali babo. Basenokungabonakali ngokugqithiseleyo ngootatomkhulu ngenxa yokuba bengaboni abazukulu.
Qhubeka Qha ga mshelwano
Kungathatha ngaphezulu kweyodwa kwi-parenthood phambi komntwana ngaphambi kokuba umntwana avume ukusebenza kuxolelwaniso, kodwa i-overture ayifanele ifuthe njengobundlobongela. Yonke into efunekayo yiphakamiso esilula ukuhlangana kunye nesigxina esiphantsi kwengcinezelo efana nesidlo sokutya okanye ukuphuma. Ukuba ngaba i-overture iyanqatshwa, abazali kufuneka balinde ixesha kwaye bazame kwakhona.
Ukuba ukubuyisana kuhluleka
Ukuba iinzame zokubuyisela ubudlelwane obuhlulekayo, oogogo nomkhulu bayabopha. Ngaba bayayilahla nayiphi na ithemba lokubona abazukulu babo?
Ngamanye amaxesha ukuxolelana kuyisinyathelo esilandelayo. Ukuba ukuxolelana kwehluleka, okanye ukuba amanye amaqela angathandi, abanye ootatomkhulu baya kuthathela isenzo somthetho, kodwa kuninzi ukuba ootatomkhulu bafanele bazi ngaphambi kokumangalela amalungelo okutyelela. Ukongezelela, ukuba abazukulwana bahlala kwintsapho ehambelanayo, oogogo nomkhulu abanakwenzeka ukuba batyelele ukutyelelwa enkundleni.
Unokufunda kwakhona xa abazali beqhawula umtshato "abazali babo.