Izikhalazo ezidala rhoqo ngeeNkohlakalo kwiintsapho ezihlukileyo
Amaphepha ayifakwanga, kwaye akukho najaji ova ityala, kodwa abantwana abaninzi abadala bahlukana nabazali babo, ngokuqhelekileyo banqumla umqhagamshelwano. Yintoni eqhuba ukunyuka kobudlelwane bomzali nomntwana? Abaqeqeshi abasebenza kunye neentsapho baneengcamango, kwaye amawaka abantu baye babelana ngamava abo kwi-intanethi. Iimpendulo ezichanekileyo zingenakwenzeka, kodwa kulula ukuba uzivelele kwezinye zezinto.
Zimbalwa izibalo
Kwiziko leSayithi eziHlangeneyo, bobabini abazali kunye nabantwana babo abadala bangazalisa uphando malunga nokuhlukana kwabo. Iziphumo zinokumangalisa. Okokuqala, abazali abaye baxhomekeke kumdala kunokuba umntu angalindela, nangaphezulu kweyesithathu kwisigaba samaqela angama-70-80. Xa ebuzwa ukuba bachaze ubuhlobo bomzali nabantwana ngaphambi kokuba kuqhutywe, impendulo eyaziwayo kakhulu eyabanikwa abantwana abadala "yayibophekile." Impendulo yesibini eyaziwayo kakhulu "yayinganeliseki kunye / okanye ingavali." Xa ebuzwa ukuba banembopheleleko yobudlelwane, ubuncinane ngaphezu kwengxenye bathi yebo.
Omnye ummandla othakazelisayo ukhathazeka ukuba ngaba abantwana "babethe" ngokucacileyo baxelele umzali onqunyuliweyo ukuba izizathu zokungafani. Ngaphezulu kwama-67% athi babenayo. Lo mfanekiso wesipilikisi sempendulo yempendulo yabazali kwiphononongo efanayo xa abangaphezu kwama-60% bathetha ukuba abazange baxelelwe izizathu zokungafani.
Oku kungalingani kubonisa ubunzima abavame ukuba nawo xa bexoxa nabantwana abadala.
Uphando lwaseBrithani lubonise ukuba abantwana ngokuqhelekileyo bawunqamle umnxeba. Enyanisweni, abaphandi bafumanise ukuba amalungu esizukulwana esincinane baqalisa ukuphuka ngokuphindaphindiweyo kwezihlandlo ezilishumi ngaphezu kwamalungu esizukulwana esikhulileyo.
Ezinye izihloko eziphinda kwakhona
Izizathu zokuxabana nabantwana abadala ziyahlukahluka. Abanye abantwana abadala baye bahlukana nobudlelwane nabazali ngenxa yobuntwaba obunzima: Baxhatshazwa okanye bakhuliswa nabazali ababenxilisayo okanye abasebenzisi beziyobisi. Ngamanye amaxesha, iingxabano zentsapho ziye zaqhuma ngemali. Kwiimeko ezininzi, nangona kunjalo, izizathu zokuhlukana azicacekanga. Sekunjalo, iindihloko ezithile zenzeka ngokuphindaphindiweyo kwiingxelo ezivela kubantwana abadala abadala abaqhawule abazali babo.
"Wayengumzali Olungileyo."
Abanye abantwana banomuvo wokuthi abazange bathandwe okanye bahlonywe ngokwaneleyo. Ngamanye amaxesha kubangelwa ukuba bakhuliswa ngexesha okanye inkcubeko engazange ixabise imbonakalo yothando. Maxa wambi kuba kuba abazali babo babenzima kunzima ukuvakalisa iimvakalelo zabo. Ngamanye amaxesha abantwana abadala baziva bebuhlungu kwiintlobo ezenzeke kwiminyaka eyadlulayo, iziqendu abazali abangaziqondi.
"Utyumla Intsapho Yethu."
Abantwana bokuqhawula umtshato basoloko bebetyala elinye iqela okanye elinye ngokuqhawula umtshato. Ngamanye amaxesha oko kubangelwa oko baxelelwe ngabanye okanye ngabazali babo. Nangona xa amaqela okuqhawula umtshato ehlala ephakathi, abantwana bahlala bebeka ityala kwiqabane elinye okanye elinye. Emva kokuba abantwana abadala bitshatile, abahlala beba novelwano ngenxa yengxaki yomtshato yabazali babo.
Nangona bavuma ukuba umtshato unzima, bavame ukuvakalelwa ukuba ukuba abazali babo babenomonde, babenokuyenza.
"Usandibona njengomntwana."
Abazali nabantwana bahlala iminyaka emininzi kwintsebenziswano ethile, kunye nabazali abaphetheyo. Ngamanye amaxesha abazali banzima ukuyeka ukuzakhela. Abantwana, ngakolunye uhlangothi, bahlala bekulungele kwaye bazimisele ukwenza izigqibo zabo. Xa abantwana abadala bethetha ukuba abazali babo abababoni njengabantu abadala, ngamanye amaxesha bachanekile. Amaxesha amaninzi abazali baqhubeka becela iingcebiso ezingafunekiyo. Ukuvakalisa ukungatshatyalaliswa kweqabane lomntwana okanye iqabane lingabangela ingxabano.
Iimali, imisebenzi, kunye nendlela yokuphila zikhona ezinye iikhompyutheni zengxabano.
"Asinayo Imilinganiselo efanayo."
Xa abantwana benza izigqibo ezingahambelani neempawu zabazali babo, ngamanye amaxesha abazali bathi, "Asizange sikuphakamise ngale ndlela." Banobunzima bokuvuma ukuba abantwana abasakhulayo banomsebenzi wokuphuhlisa iimpawu zabo zokuziphatha. Kwakhona, ingxaki inokuvela xa umntwana omdala eshada nomntu ohluke kwiindlela ezibalulekileyo ukusuka kwintsapho yakhe yokuzalwa. Ngamanye amaxesha ubunzima buvela kwimibandela yezobupolitika okanye iinkolelo zonqulo. Le miba ibonisa imingeni enzima kakhulu kuba iinkolelo zezopolitiko nezenkolo zihlala zigcinwe. Ezinye iintsapho zifunda ukuhlala kunye nokungafani. Abanye abazange benze.
"Ungumntu onobuthi."
Ngokuqinisekileyo oko kuthetha ukuthini umntu onetyhefu kuxhomekeke kwisithethi. Akufakiwe kwiincwadi eziqhelekileyo zokuphazamiseka kwengqondo, kodwa ngokubanzi, kuqondwa ukuba uthetha umntu owonakalisa omnye umlinganiso womzwelo. Abo banomdla ongathandabuzekiyo, abagxeka abanye, abanesidingo esikhulu okanye abathile abanesiqhelo ngandlela-thile babizwa ngokuba yingozi. Ezinye iilebula ezisoloko zisetyenziselwa ukugqiba ukuphelisa ulwalamano ziyi-narcissistic kunye ne-bipolar. Zomibini zezi zifo zengqondo zonyango, kodwa iilebula zivame ukusetyenziswa ngokusesikweni, ngaphandle koxilongo.
Ukwazi ukubuyisana
Abantwana abakhulileyo abaqhawule umtshato abazali babo bathi bakwenza okulungileyo kwiintsapho zabo, okanye ngokwabo. Xa ebuzwa ukuba ngaba abazali bafanele bazame ukuxolelana, iimpendulo ziyahluka. Abanye bacinga naluphi na umzamo wokunxibelelana njengentlanzi. Kwi-Surveyed Story Stories, nangona kunjalo, malunga ne-60% yabantwana abadala bafuna ukuba babe nolwalamano nomntu abavela kuye. Amanyathelo acatshulwe ngokuqhelekileyo anokuchaphazela ukuxolelana axolise kubazali, abazali bathabatha uxanduva kunye nokulungiswa kwemida.
Ucwaningo lwaseBrithani olukhankanywe ngaphambili lubonisa umfanekiso ongenanto. Abantwana kweso sifundo baninzi kakhulu kunokuba abazali bathethe ukuba le nto yayingenathemba, kungekho nhlobo yokuxolelana. Enyanisweni, ngaphezu kwe-70% yathi ubuhlobo bokwenza umsebenzi kwixesha elizayo kwakungenakwenzeka.
Sekunjalo, abazali kule meko akufanele balahle ithemba. Abantu abaselula baye baziwa ukuba batshintshe iingqondo zabo njengoko bekhula kwaye bafumane amava okuphila. Yaye nabazali banokukhuthazwa ekubeni nolwazi ukuba nangona baqhawule umtshato, umyalelo awuyikugqibela.
Yiyiphi intsebenziswano yoNogogo nomkhulu
Abazali abanqunyulwa kubantwana abadala bayololoko banqunywa nabazukulwana. Xa bezama ukuxolelana, oomkhulu noomkhulu baxolise ukuba abazukulu badinga ootatomkhulu, okwenene. Oomkhulu nootata banokuzalisa imisebenzi emine ebaluleke kakhulu kubazukulwana. Nangona kunjalo, kugxininiswe kwezi meko kufuneka kube kukukhulisa ubudlelwane bomzali kunye nomntwana omdala. Emva kokuba olo dlelwane lulungiswa, oogogo nomkhulu kufuneka bakwazi ukubona abazukulwana babo kwakhona.