Enye Impendulo Ngokusondeleyo Kubazukulu
Bonke ootatomkhulu abadalwa ngokulinganayo. Uphando lwezesayensi kunye nobungqina obuninzi bokubonisa ukuba ootata-ntombi bobazali basondelene nabazukulu ngaphezu kootatomkhulu ozala. Uhlobo olusisigxina luhamba kanje, ukususela kumfutshane kuncinci: Uninina ongumama, uninakhulukazi omama, uninakhulukazi, uyisekazi kayise. Ngaphandle koko, kwenzeka.
Izizathu zokungafani
Abanye bakholelwa ukuba lo mmahluko ngenxa yendima yabazali njengabalindisango phakathi kootatomkhulu nabazali. Nangona ulwahlulo lokulingana ngokwesini, oomama basenokwenzeka ukuba baqondise imisebenzi yabantwana babo. Baya kunika ukubaluleka kokuqhagamshelana nabazali babo.
Abanye bacinga ukuba ubudlelwane phakathi kowesifazane kunye noninazala-unina-kayise wabantwana bakhe-luya kuba nzima. I-Possession, ngoko kuthetha, yindoda exabisekileyo, idluliselwe ukusuka kumama ukuya kumfazi. Ingqungquthela yomona kunye nokukhuphisana kuyimvelo. Sekunjalo, inokuma endleleni yolwalamano olusondeleyo, oluya kuthi lube nendlela yokusondelana phakathi kootatomkhulu kunye nozukulu. Mhlawumbi oomama-mkhwenkwe bahlala begxekwa ngokungafanelekanga, kodwa ezinye iingxabano zakhiwe indima.
Iingcali zenzululwazi zinikeza inkcazo eyahlukileyo, ingqungquthela yokuziphendukela kwemvelo, eyenziwa ngabanye ababukeli.
Le nkcazo yenzululwazi ibonisa ukuba oomama bahlala beqinisekile ukuba bangabantwana babo, ngoxa kukho ukungaqiniseki kwingqondo kabawo. Ngaphambi kokuvavanywa kwe-DNA, ubaba wayeneendlela ezinqabileyo zokubonisa ukuba umntwana uthe wathwala iinjenge zakhe. Oku kuhamba ngokunyanisekileyo kuba utatomkhulu uyazibuza ukuba ngaba umzukulu wakhe ngokwenene ungumzukulwana wakhe.
Ngoko ugogo unina uyazi ngokuqinisekileyo eyi-100% yokuba umzukulwana wakhe uhambelana nomzimba. Utata oyinina okanye umakhulu kayise unesiqingatha saloo nto, kwaye uyise-kayise akayiqiniseki nantoni na.
Ewe, ezinye izinto ezininzi zichaphazela ukusondelana kobudlelwane. Ukubaluleka kweendawo kubalulekile, nangona ootatomkhulu bangawunqoba umgama. Ubume bezentengiselwano zengqesho, impilo, imeko yezoqoqosho kunye nobuntu nayo inokuba yimpembelelo. Olunye uguquko luyinani labazukulwana ootatomkhulu. Unogogo kunye nabazukulu abaninzi banokufumana kunzima ukuchitha ixesha elifanelekileyo kunye nokudibanisa ngamnye.
Ukubambisana kwangaphambili
Okukhethwa kootatomkhulu ozala umama kuqala, kunye nogogo abanina banokuthi bamenywe kwigumbi lokuhambisa . Ngokufanayo, uninina ongumama usenokuba nako ukuncedisa emva kokuzalwa komntwana, ukulungiselela ukudibanisa kwangaphambili kunye nomzukulu. Ootatomkhulu obophelela ngokutsha kunye nomzukulu kunokwenzeka ukuba acelwe ukuba abele umntwana emva koko kwaye unokukwazi ukubandakanya kwimisebenzi yesikolo xa umzukulu eqala esikolweni.
Abaselula kunye nootatomkhulu
Uphononongo olutsha lubonisa ukuba inzuzo yokuba uninina omama akapheli ixesha.
Ukufunda kwabazukulu beselula kubaluleke kakhulu, kuba abatsha banokuthi badala ngokwaneleyo ukuba baqhagamshelane nootatomkhulu ngokwabo, kwaye ngenxa yokuba bekhulile ngokwaneleyo ukuba bafake izigqibo ezifanelekileyo malunga nobudlelwane.
Kwisifundo esithile sabantwana abaseBrithani, aba-9 kwabangu-10 bathi unina wabo omama wayengowona ubalulekileyo ilungu losapho ngaphandle kwentsapho yabo esondeleyo. Utatomkhulu ozala umzali wayeyilandela. Ukuvalwa kwaxhaswa, ngokutsho kwentsha, ngokubandakanyeka kwimpilo yabo yesikolo. Ukongezelela, aba-8 kwabashumi abatsha bathi oogogo babo babenokuxoxa nabo ngexesha elizayo kwaye banike isiluleko esihle kubafana.
( Avon Longitudinal Study of Parents and Children, University of Bristol, 2007)
Xa Ukuhamba Kufumana Isantya
Iimbopheleleko zabazali boomama kunye nokhokho bobazali bathambekele ekugqithiseni ngokubanzi xa abazali babazukulu babo baqhawula umtshato. Nangona ukuqhubela phambili ekulinganeni ngokwesini, kuphela u-ntandathu obawo banamalungelo okugcina emva kokuqhawula umtshato . Xa unina unqoba i-custody, oogogo nomama kanina bahlala bezongena ekuzaliseni izikhalazo kubazali kunye nokubonelela ukuzinza kwintsapho. Kwinkqubo, bathambekele ekubeni basondelene nabazukulu babo. Oku kunokwenzeka nokuba nobazali nomkhulu xa uyise egcinwa, kodwa loo mcimbi ungavumelekanga.
Xa unina unqoba i-custody emva kokuqhawula umtshato, ootata-ntata-ntata bavame ukubona abazukulu babo ngaphantsi. Noko ke, banokudlala indima ebalulekileyo ekuququzeleleni ukunxibelelana phakathi kwabantwana kunye neentsapho zabo zooyise.
Ukuphila kweMintigenerational
Okukhethiweyo kootatomkhulu ozala umama akucaci xa kufikelele kwizinto eziphilayo. Ukuba abantu abatsha banokwabelana ngemindeni nabazali babo, iinkalo zenkcubeko ziyakwazi ukuba ziza kuhamba kunye nabazali boomama okanye oyise. Ewe, ezinye izinto ezifana nendawo kunye nezoqoqosho zingaphaya kwamaphetheni enkcubeko.
Kwiintsapho zaseNdiya, e-Bangladeshi nakumaPakistan, abazali abatsha kulindeleke ukuba bahlale kunye noyise nomkhulu. Kwiinkcubeko zaseCaribbean, banokulindela ukuba baphile kunye noomkhulu ozala.
Ngokuqhelekileyo, umhlophe, uhlanga oluxubekileyo, iintsapho zaseMnyama naseCaribbean ziyakwazi ukuhlala kunye noogogo nomama. Olunye uphando olutsha lwaseBrithani, ama-74% athi abayi kucinga ukuba unina wabo omama wayehlala nabo, ngoxa ama-54% athetha okufanayo nonina-kayise. ( Ukuguga kunye noMbutho )
Isishwankathelo
Akufuneki ukuthetha, umgudu owenziwa ngu-grandparent uhlala kuba yinto ebalulekileyo kuba ngaba ootatomkhulu kunye nabazukulu balamano obusondeleyo. Oogogo nomkhulu abafuna ukubandakanyeka ebomini babazukulu babo kodwa ke abalawula ukuhlonipha iimbopheleleko zabazali banakho amathuba okuphumelela. Kwaye oku kuyinyani nantoni na kwi-family tree.