Indlela osabela ngayo xa ukukhutshwa komntwana wakho kungenomphumo omangalisayo
Uyayiphendula njani xa umntwana wakho enza iphosakelo okanye ufumana ukuhluleka okanye ukubuyisela emuva? Xa umntwana wakho elahlekelwa umdlalo webhola lebhola, uhlaselwa ngumntakwabo okanye umhlobo kumdlalo webhodi , ufumana ikhadi elibi lombiko , okanye unaluphi na uhlobo oluthile lokubuyisela okanye ukudideka, usabela njani ngokuqhelekileyo?
Ngokuxhomekeke kwimeko kunye neemeko, abanye abazali basenokusabela kumntwana wabo ngokumthuthuzela umntwana wabo.
Abanye bangagxininisa kwinto eyenziwa ngumntwana okanye angakhathazeki ukuba umntwana akwenzi kakuhle. Kwaye kwezinye iimeko ezibuhlungu, abazali bangaba nomsindo nomntwana wabo, okanye bathukuthele nabani na abatshitshisa umgwebi-umpempe ongendawo, umqeqeshi omubi, ukugweba ngokungafanelekanga, njl.
Indlela Eyasabela Ngayo Indlela Echaphazela Abantwana Bethu
Asikwazi ukuyiqonda, kodwa ukuphendula kwethu kwiintsholongwane zezingane zethu kunokuba nemiphumo engapheliyo kwindlela abayicwangcisa ngayo i-backback kwaye baqhubele phambili, indlela abanokuzithemba kunye nokuzithemba kwabo, kunye nendlela abaphatha ngayo iimpazamo kunye nokuhluleka kwabo bonke ubomi babo . Ukuphendula kwabazali kwiintsholongwane zezingane kungenza nokuba nombono womntwana weengcaphephe, ngokutsho kwiphononongo epapashwe ngo-Aprili 26, 2016 ePh.Due of Psychological Science. Abaphengululi kwiYunivesithi yaseStanford bafumanisa ukuba nokuba umzali ubona iimpazamo kunye nempazamo yomntwana njengento entle okanye into engalunganga inokubangela ukuba iinkolelo zabantwana zivezwe ngeengqondo, kwaye zichaphazela ikusasa labo.
Iingcamango zabantwana malunga neengqondo zinempembelelo enkulu ekusebenzeni kwabo kakuhle, "kusho uKyla Haimovitz, PhD, umbhali ohamba phambili wophando kunye nomphandi kwiSebe lezeNgqondo kwiYunivesithi yaseStanford.
Abaphandi bacela abadlali abathathi-73 abathathi-nxaxheba ukuba bafumane uluhlu lwemibuzo enxulumene nokungaphumeleli kunye nolwazi; abantwana babengabafundi be-4 ne-5 bakala.
Ngelixa iziphumo zingabonakali nxu lumano phakathi kwabazali beenkolelo malunga neengqondo kunye noko abantwana babo babecinga ngobunkokheli, kwakukho ukudibanisa phakathi kweengqondo zabazali neenkolelo zezingane malunga neengqondo.
Ngoba? Abaphandi bakholelwa ukuba kuhambelana nomyalezo othi iimpendulo zabazali zithumela kubantwana. Ngokomzekelo, abazali abajongene nokuxhalabisa nokukhathazeka ngebanga eliphantsi lokuvavanya banokudlulisela umyalezo kumntwana wabo ukuba akayi kuphucula ngenxa yokuba ingqiqo isekelwe. Kodwa abazali abagxile kulowo umntwana angakufunda kwibakala lokuhlola elibi banganika abantwana babo umyalezo wokuthi ingqondo ayigxininisi, kwaye ukuba banokuphucula ibanga labo ngokufunda.
Oko Abazali Basenokukwenza Ukudlulisa Umyalezo Olungileyo
Yintoni abazali abangayenza ukuze baqinisekise ukuba umntwana wabo ufumana isigidimi sokuthi ukuhluleka akukona uphawu lweengqondo zabo kunye nokukwazi ukulinganisa? Nazi iindlela ezibalulekileyo zokuphendula ngexesha elizayo xa umntwana wakho enembuyiselo:
- Jonga impendulo yomntwana wakho. Thatha ingqalelo yakho kwimpendulo yomntwana wakho ekulahlekeni. Ngaba uyavuya kuba wazama konke okusemandleni akhe? Ngaba uyazithukuthelela ngenxa yokungaphumeleli? Ukuba uyacaphukisa okanye adideke ngaye okanye ngelahleko, zama ukumnceda ukuba atyelele loo mvakalelo ngomnqweno wokuzama okulungileyo ngexesha elizayo.
- Gxininisa kwikamva. Esikhundleni sokuthetha malunga nokulahleka, gxininisa indlela yokwenza ngcono kangcono ngexesha elizayo. Mkhumbuze umntwana wakho ukuba nayiphi na into engafanelekiyo ingaba ithuluzi eluncedo kakhulu kwaye lezemfundo ekuqiqeni into enokuyenza okanye ongayenzayo ngokuzayo.
- Zibone wena njengomlindi, ukhangele indlela osabela ngayo kwimpazamo eyenziwa ngumntwana wakho. Ngaba ubungacinga ukuba lo mntu uxhasa kwaye unika iingcebiso ezifanelekileyo? Ngaba ubungacinga ukuba uthetha ngendlela efudumele kunye nekhululekile? Okanye ngaba uya kuvezela, ahlasele, okanye aphilileyo? Yiba nomfanekiso wokuba ukhuthaze endaweni yokudangala.
- Gxininisa ngakumbi kwinkqubo ngaphandle kwesiphumo. Thetha malunga nezinto ezonwabileyo, oko wakwenzayo kwaye engathandanga, kwaye oko akucinga ukuba yenziwe ingcono ngexesha elizayo. Ncedise ukutshintshisa amandla akhe ukulungelelanisa ikusasa kwaye kugxininise kumnandi kunye nokwaneliseka kokufunda, kunokunqoba.
- Musa ukunika umntwana wakho intlungu. Xa uzama ukuthuthuzela umntwana wakho, qaphela ukuba ungamkhathazi, ongathumela umyalezo onobungozi-ukuba akakwazi. "Esikhundleni sokuthi, 'Ndiyaxolisa ukuba awukwazi ukwenza oku,' qaphela into eyayihamba kakuhle kwaye ujolise ekufumaneni isisombululo," kusho uDkt. Haimovitz.
- Beka impendulo ngendlela efanelekileyo. Qiniseka ukuba uxelele umntwana wakho ukuba le miphumo ayichazi ukuba ngubani na kwaye kukho izinto ezininzi ezintle. Thetha naye malunga nezihlandlo owehlukileyo kwinto ngaphambili kwaye wenze ntoni ukutshintsha isiphumo ngexesha elizayo. Qinisekisa ukuba iimpazamo zizinto zonke abantu abazenzayo. Enye yezinto eziphambili ezenza sonke isintu, into yokuba asisoloko siyifumene.
- Yenza okuthile okuzonwabisa kunye. Ukunyusa ukuzithemba komntwana wakho nokunyusa ukuzithemba kwakhe ngokwenza into ayithandayo kwaye ilungile. Ukuthatha ikhefu kwingxaki ekhoyo kunokumnceda agxininise kwizicwangciso ezintsha kunye neengcamango zendlela yokujongana nale ngxaki kangcono ngexesha elizayo.
- Ungazami ukulungisa impazamo yakhe. Ukungena ekukulungiseni iiphoso ngokwakho i-helicopter yabazali. Ukumbonisa indlela yokufumana iindlela zokuzibona ukuba uyenze uqobo unceda.
- Mkhumbuze ngothando lwakho olungenakunyakaziswa. Ekugqibeleni, qinisekisa umntwanakho ukuba uhlala naye kwaye uya kuba khona ukuba akhulume ngeemvakalelo zakhe kunye neengcinga malunga nayiphina impazamo ayenzayo. Qinisekisa ukuba uyazi ukuba uthando lwakho luyinto enokuhlala ilindele kuyo, kungakhathaliseki ukuba yimpazamo yintoni, kwaye unokuza kwaye akuxelele .