Abazali abaninzi bayazibuza ukuba ngaba kukho imithetho ekhoyo ekupheliseni imithwalo yemfanelo yokuxhasa abantwana. Ngokomzekelo, ngaba umzali unokuyeka ukuxhasa inkxaso umntwana xa omnye umzali enqaba ukuvumela ukuvakashelwa? Kuthekani ngeemeko apho umntwana engafuni ukufumana inkxaso yenkxaso yomzali kwaye angathanda ukukhululwa? Fumana iimpendulo kule mibuzo ngaphambi kokuba uphishekele ukupheliswa komyalelo wokuxhasa abantwana okanye wakho umntwana.
Quid Pro Quo kunye neNkxaso yeNkxaso yabantwana
Phezulu, abanye abazali bacinga ukuba kunengqiqo ukuyeka ukuxhaswa kwabantwana xa utyelelo luyeka ukuqhubeka rhoqo. Kodwa le ngcamango ingakubangela inkathazo enkundleni. Ngoba? Ngenxa yokuba inkundla-eyalelwe ukuba iimbopheleleko zokuxhasa abantwana iyaqhubeka nangona kukho ingxaki ngobuhlobo phakathi komzali nomntwana okanye phakathi kwabazali ababini. Ngoko ke, akufanele uyeke ukuxhasa inkxaso yabantwana ngenxa yokuba umntwana engasabandakanyeki kwiindwendwe ezihleliweyo.
Kwakhona kubalulekile ukwazi ukuba iinkundla zithatha inkxaso nenkxaso yabantwana kunye nokuhanjelwa. Ukuba unetyala lokuhanjelwa, kunye neyokuqala yakho ayisebenzisana nomyalelo, kufuneka uqhagamshelane nenkundla okanye uthethe negqwetha lakho malunga neendlela ozikhethayo. Kwiimeko ezininzi, amanyathelo angathathwa ukuze alungiswe imeko ukwenzela ukuba ukutyelela kuqhubeke.
Iingqalelo ezikhethekileyo
Ngokuqhelekileyo, xa umzali eyeka ukuxhasa inkxaso yabantwana, kungenxa yokuba kukho okungakumbi emva kweendawo.
Ngaba umzali ulahlekelwe ngumsebenzi wakhe? Ngaba kukho utshintsho olusemthethweni kwiimeko ezifuna ukulungiswa komntwana ngokusemthethweni? Naliphi na umzali onenkathazo yokwenza intlawulo yokuxhasa abantwana rhoqo kufuneka axhumane nenkundla ekhuphe umyalelo wokuqala ukuxoxa ngokukhetha. Oku kukhethwa kakhulu kunokubeka ingozi kwimiphumo yokungahlawulwanga, okungabandakanya ukulahlekelwa ilayisenisi yakho yomqhubi kunye nokuhlala ixesha lokubanjwa.
Ukunyuka kwabantwana
Kwiimeko ezinqabileyo, umntwana omdala angacela ukukhululwa xa engasayi kuba nobudlelwane nomzali. Ukuba umntwana uyakhululwa, inkundla inokuthi ikhuphe ngokusemthethweni umzali ongekho phantsi wokunyanzelisa abantwana. Nangona kunjalo, nokuba inkundla inika umkhululo uya kuxhomekeka kwizinto ezininzi ezibandakanya:
- Umntwana wobudala: Iminyaka efanelekileyo iyahluka ngohlobo nangenkundla. Ezinye iinkundla zinokumisela ukuba eli-16 liyiminyaka efanelekileyo, ngelixa enye inkundla inokuthi iqinisekise ukuba 16 iselula kakhulu ukwenza eso sigqibo esibalulekileyo.
- Inqanaba lokukhula komntwana: Inkundla inokuqwalasela amandla omntwana okubonisa ngokucacileyo umnqweno wakhe wokukhululwa kunye nezizathu zokukhululwa, njengophawu lokukhula. Basenokujonga kwiimeko ezinjengeyo okanye umqeshwa oqeshwe okanye umfundi olungileyo.
Ngaphambi kokuqwalasela ukukhululwa, ijaji iya kuxoxisana nomntwana. Ukuba umntwana uyakhululwa, ukuxhaswa kwabantwana okungabikho komsebenzi wokuxhaswa kwabantwana kunokupheliswa kwakhona. Nangona kunjalo, inkundla inqwenela ukuphelisa izibophelelo zenkxaso ngenxa yokwesaba ukuba urhulumente uya ku funeka angenele kwaye anike inkxaso ngenkxaso yomntwana.
Kwakhona kubalulekile ukwazi ukuba iinkundla zithintela nasiphi na ukuphazamiseka kobudlelwane bomzali nomntwana. Ekuqaliseni ukuba ukuphelisa imithwalo yemfanelo yokuxhasa abantwana, inkundla iya kuqwalasela imfuno ebalulekileyo yomntwana ize ibone ukuba ngaba babini abazali kufuneka bakwazi ukusebenzisana ukuxhasa iimfuno zomntwana kunye nentlalo yempilo.