Ngexesha elithile, malunga nomzali ngamnye okanye umnakekeli wayefuna indlela yokukhusela ngonaphakade umntwana omncinci ekubandezelekeni kweentlungu kunye nokuhlupheka ukwenzela ukuba alondoloze ingqiqo yabo yokungabi namacala kunye nemimangaliso engummangaliso ongachazwanga. Ngelishwa, nangona kunjalo sinqwenela ngenye indlela, iimeko zokuphila kunye nokulahlekelwa ayikwazi ukunyanzeliswa kwaye ziya kubakho nxamnye naphezu kwemizamo yethu engcono.
Ngenxa yoko, abazali abaninzi nabagcini bazibuza indlela yokuxoxa ngesihloko sokufa nomntwana xa kunesidingo, nokuba ngenxa yokulahlekelwa ilungu losapho, osondeleyo okanye umhlobo-okanye okubangelwa yintlekele kwenye indawo ehlabathini fumana inkxaso ebalulekileyo yeendaba. Nazi iziphakamiso ezininzi zokunceda umntwana wakho aqonde ngakumbi kwaye ajamelane nokunyaniseka kokufa nokufa.
Hlonipha kwaye ulandele
Ngelixa unokuziva ulingeke ukuba usebenzise imigaqo "encinci" kunye nomntwana wakho xa uchaza ingcamango yokufa, kufuneka ugweme ukusebenzisa iifommisms , ngakumbi kunye nabantwana abaneminyaka engama-6 ubudala okanye abatsha. Nayiphi na umzali ozisola ngokuxelela umntwana ohleli esihlalweni sangasemva semoto ukuba baya kufika "kungekudala" - kuphela ukuva "Ngaba silapha?" Imizuzwana engama-60 kamva - uyaqonda ukuba abantwana abaselula badla ngokutolika oko bakuxelelwa ngokoqobo. Ngaloo ndlela, ukuchaza ukufa kootatomkhulu ngokuxelela umntwana ukuba "ulele" okanye "uhambe uhambo olude" kuya kubangela imibuzo eyongeziweyo, njengokuba "Uya kuvuka nini?" okanye "Uya kubuya nini?"
Ukongezelela, ukungaqondanga ngqo ngokufa kunokunyanzela impendulo yengxaki yomntwana wakho ngokubangela ukwesaba okungenasidingo njengoko abantwana beqhubeka beqhuba oko bakuxelelwayo. Ukusebenzisa u-uphemism onjengokuthi "Silahlekelwe ngu-Grandma," umzekelo, kunokukwenza ukuba unyana okanye intombi yakho ixhalabele ukuba omnye umthandayo uya kutshabalala xa eva umntu ehamba.
Ngokufanayo, ukuxelela umntwana ukuba ilungu lentsapho elweleyo "ukuthatha ixesha elide" lingenza umntwana wakho abe noloyiko nanini na xa umxelela ukuba u-naptime.
Mamela, Wachaza, Emva koko uphendule
Ingaba umhlobo wakho wasweleka emva kokugula okude, umzekelo, okanye mhlawumbi ungalindelekanga ngenxa yengozi yendlela, kufuneka uqale umbuze umntwana wakho ukuba wazi ntoni ngale meko . Abantwana bavame ukuqonda okanye baqonde ngokumangalisayo ngaphezu kwabantu abadala. Ngokuphulaphula oko umntwana wakho akwaziyo, okanye ucinge ukuba uyazi, unokunika i-akhawunti emfutshane malunga nokufa okubonelela ngeenkcukacha ezininzi njengoko uziva ukuba umntwana wakho ufuna okanye angayifumana, ngelixa ejongana nayo nayiphi na yokuqala imibuzo okanye iimpazamo.
Ukukwazi komntwana ukuqonda ingcamango yokufa kuyahluka ngokweminyaka, ngoko kufuneka uchaze ukufa ngexesha elifanelekileyo kodwa linyanisekileyo . Ngokuqhelekileyo, kufuneka iqinisekise ngokwaneleyo ukuxelela umntwana oneminyaka emithandathu okanye encinane ukuba umzimba womntu "uyeka ukusebenza" kwaye "ayikwazi ukulungiswa." Abantu abaneminyaka engama-6 ukuya kwimi-10 bavame ukuqonda ukuphela kokufa kwinqanaba elithile ngoku, kodwa baya ku soyika ukuba ukufa "yi-monster" okanye ngandlela-thile "isasazekayo," ngoko inkcazo yakho ibandakanya ukuqinisekiswa ukuba oku akuyi kwenzeka.
Abo ba kufuphi nabantwana babo, okanye abaselula, baya kuqalisa ukuqonda ngokusisigxina-imvelo yokufa, kodwa baqala ukubuza "imibuzo emikhulu" yobomi malunga nokufa kwabo kunye nenjongo yobomi.
Emva kokuphulaphula umntwana wakho kwaye unikezele ngengcaciso enyanisekileyo yeemeko, kufuneka uvumele umntwana wakho akubuze imibuzo - ukuba uvakalelwa njani. Abantwana abaselula baya kubuza imibuzo yendalo, njengokuba apho abathandayo bekunje okanye ukuba izilwanyana ziya ezulwini. Ufanele uphendule imibuzo enyanisekileyo nangomonde, kwaye ulungiselele umntwana wakho ukuba abuze imibuzo efanayo ngemihla neveki ezizayo.
Abantwana abakhulileyo, njengama-preteens kunye nentsha, abanakho ukubuza nayiphi na imibuzo ekuqaleni, kodwa kufuneka ucacise ukuba ufumanekile ukuba uthethe ukuba / okanye nantoni na ayifunayo.
Yiba ngumzali, Kodwa Vumela abantwana bakho babe ngabantwana
Ekugqibeleni, kubalulekile ukuba ukhumbule ukuba abazali (kunye nabantu abadala ngokubanzi) bahlala begxininisa kakhulu kwiinkxalabo kunye neengxaki zabo, kwaye banokulahlekelwa yinto yokuba abantwana "abayiziguqulelo ezincinane" ngokwabo. Ngamanye amazwi, ngenxa yokuba ucinga ngokuqhubekayo ngokufa komntu othandekayo, ungacingi ukuba umntwana wakho uhlala ecinga ngokulahleka, naye. Abantwana, ngokukodwa abatsha, banakho ukukwazi ukugxila kwizinto ezinzulu ngomzuzu kunye nokuhleka okanye ukudlala ngokugqiba ngokupheleleyo.
Ngako oko, njengomzali, kufuneka ubalekele ukuxela impendulo yakho yentlungu kumntwana wakho. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba uvakalelwa njani, zama ukunyaniseka ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba iindaba zokufa zichaphazela njani umntwana wakho. Jonga utshintsho kwindlela yokuziphatha okanye ukuziphatha, njengokwenza izinto, ukufuna ukuthintela ngakumbi okanye ukukhupha, iingxaki zokulala, ukuhlaselwa ngumsindo, okanye izikhalazo zezifo zomzimba, ngokomzekelo. Ezi zinokuba yimpawu yokuba umntwana wakho akajongani nokulahlekelwa ngempumelelo.
> Imithombo:
"Ukuthetha Kwabantwana Ngokufa." www.hospicenet.org . Ukubuyiselwa ngoDisemba 15, 2012. http://www.hospicenet.org/html/talking.html
> "Ukuchaza Ukufa KuNyana." www.funeralplan.com . Ibuyiswe ngomhla we-16 Disemba 2012. http://www.funeralplan.com/askexperts/explain.html