Xa ndiqala ukuba ngumama, enye yezinto ezandibambelela ngokukhawuleza ukuba ngaba abantu babedla njani ukuvakalisa izimvo zabo zendlela yokuzali. Le nto yayiyiyo-kwakungekhona nje kubazali bam, umzala, okanye abahlobo banikela iincenti zabo ezimbini, kodwa nabangenabani abangaqhelekanga abaziva befuna isidlo. Nangona ngokuqinisekileyo kukho amaxesha apho iingcebiso zanikwa iparele yobulumko ukuba ndibaxabise kwaye sisebenzise, ngamanye amaxesha, kakuhle, masithi nje amazwana abo afunekayo atyhutyelwe eceleni kwaye alityelweyo.
Ekuqaleni, oko kwakufuneka ndiyenze kwakufuneka ndibonise into endiyidingayo ukuba ndiyilungele kwaye oko kwakufuneka ndiyivumele enye indlebe ibe enye. Ngokuqinisekileyo, kwakuyikhono elithatha ixesha elithile ukuba ndifunde, kunye nenye into engingaziqondi kakuhle. Nangona kunjalo, ndifumene ukuba ngokuzibuza imibuzo embalwa ndingakwazi ukuvavanya xa kulungele ukuphulaphula ngenyameko isiluleko somntu okanye xa icebiso lisoloko lingagxeki. Mhlawumbi uzakufumana ezi ngcebiso zikunceda nawe.
Zibuze: Ngaba Ziyanikezela Ngcebiso okanye Ingcebiso Engafunwa?
Ngaphambi kokuba udibanise kwezinye iimbono ezibonakala zikunqumla ngokukhawuleza, qalisa kuqala kwaye uzibuze lo mbuzo obalulekileyo. Ngaba ndivule lo mnyango ngo kwenene ndicela umbono womntu? Okanye ngaba le ngcebiso engacelwayo? Ukuba ngaba yinto yangaphambili, ngelixa iimbono zakhe zisenokukukhwaza, yamukelani ukuba umemele umntu ukuba ahlanganyele iingcamango zakhe nawe.
Uphendule: Cacisa ngokucacileyo Uhlobo olunjani lweNkxaso oyifunayo
Ndibe khona apho mna, ukuba ndivakalelwa ngexesha okanye ezimbini (xa ndabuza umntu ngomcebisi, kwaye andizange ndiyithande into endiyivileyo. Ewe, mhlawumbi loo mntu wayenakho ukunikela ngombono wakhe ngengubo encinci ye-sugar-coating, kodwa andifanele ndigwebe umntu ukuba abe nembono xa ndibacela.
Ukuba ufumanisa kuloo nqanawa, ukugxotha kwiingcebiso ozicebileyo, qwalasela ezi ngongoma.
- Cacisa into oyifunayo kumntu. Umzekelo: Ukuba uthe wagqiba ukuvumela umntwana wakho ukuba akhwile ukulala ebusuku, endaweni yokubuza umhlobo oko akucingayo, cela ngokucacileyo inkxaso yakhe. Usenokuthi, "Ndigqibile ukwenza oku. Ndiyazi ukuba awuvumelani, kodwa oko ndikufunayo kuwe ___________ (ukuphulaphula, ukukhuthazwa kwakho, akukho gwebo, njl)."
- Qinisekisa ukuba ucela isiluleko ukuba ulungele ukuliva. Xa ucela isiluleko, ngendlela echaza inani elithile lobungozi kwindawo yakho. Qinisekisa ukuba intliziyo yakho nengqondo zisendaweni ezingamkela ukuba umntu unokukuxelela into ongayifuni ukuyiva.
- Funa abantu abafundiswe ngesihloko kwaye banokubelana ngokufanelekileyo ngobulumko babo. Uya kufumanisa ukuba iintsapho kunye nabahlobo abahlukeneyo zizinto ezintle kwizihloko ezahlukahlukeneyo . Umzekelo: Ukuba unobangela obunini bokubisi, ubheke kumhlobo onelungu leLa Leche League kunokuba ungumhlobo ongazange amncelise.
Zibuze: Ngaba Uzama Ukuncedisa okanye Okwenzakalisayo?
Ngoko unokwenza ntoni xa ufumana iingcebiso ezingaceliweyo ezivakalelwa ngathi umntu oweyiphunga ijusi lemon evulekileyo? Ngaphambi kokuba ukhuselo lwakho lube lukhuphe, phawula umzuzu uze ubone ukuba uyayiqonda intliziyo yomntu. Ngaba uthetha ngenxa yokuba uyinyamekela ngokwenene nangentsapho yakho? Ngaba uzame ukuthetha yakhe ingcezu ngenhlonipho nangothando?
Phendula: Misa iMida yoBudlelwane obucacileyo
Ukuba kunjalo, ungafuna ukukhusela impendulo yokuzikhusela ngokugqithiseleyo. Cinga engqondweni yakho ukuba ulwazi lwakhe lufanelekile kwaye lusetyenzise okanye (ngobumnene) luyabalahla ngokufanelekileyo. Kungakunceda ukuba ugxininise entliziyweni yakhe kunengcebiso yakhe.
Nangona kunjalo, kuthekani ukuba umntu wayengaphantsi kweentsingiselo okanye nokuba yayiyinjongo engathandekiyo, kwaye uziva ukuba akuyonto into onokuyenza "ukuyeka" okanye "ukungahoywa"? Unokuqwalasela ukubeka imida enempilo kunye nomcebisi-ongenamkelekanga. Ngendlela enokuthi unokuyidumisa, vumela umntu azi ukuba ukhululekile ngeendlela zokuba ngumzali onokuzifumana kwaye ungakhange ufune iingcebiso malunga nomba.
Zibuze: Ngaba Ndifunda Phakathi Kweemida?
Ngamanye amaxesha kulula ukwenza iphutha lokungaqondisi kakuhle iingcebiso. Songeza intsingiselo okanye imvakalelo engazange ihlolwe ngumniki. Siyaphinda siphendule ukusebenzisana ngeengqondo zethu ngexesha elilandelayo kwaye ngezinye amaxesha-ukuhlalutya oko kwakuthethwa. Ndicinga ukuba oko kuyinyaniso kwihlabathi lethu leentetho (electronic statuses, tweets, texts, and emails). Sithandeka ngakumbi ukufunda phakathi kwemigca, ukuzalisa intsingiselo engazange ibe yinto, eyayihloselwe ngumthumeli.
Phendula: Mamela ngokuzeleyo kwaye ubuze imibuzo xa kufuneka
Ukuze uqiniseke ukuba awufumani ngaphezulu kwamagqabaza akhe, thatha amanyathelo okubandakanya kwizinto ezibizwa ngokuba yi-intetho yokuphulaphula. Le ndlela yokuphulaphula ibandakanya ukuthetha amagama kunye neengcinga ezingabonakaliyo ukunika ingqalelo kwisithethi kwaye kukuvumela ukuba uthethe umyalezo owawuqonda ukuba umntu uya kuhambisa.
Kunikezelwe ukuba akudingeki ukuba ugcine imida yakho iqinile, ungadinga ukunxibelelana ngakumbi nomntu endaweni engaphantsi. Ukuba awukucaci oko kuthethwe, cela ukucaciswa. "Ngaba uthetha ukuthini _________? Ungacacisa ngokukhawuleza." Xa uthetha kakuhle, kunokukunceda ukwakha ubudlelwane bakho kunokusilimaza.
Qaphela ngokukhethekileyo ukuba ukukhulumisana ngekhompyutheni kuyisikhubekiso esikhulu sokungaqondi kakuhle izimvo zomntu. Lawa magama ambalwa acatshulweyo kwiskrini awasoloko athetha oko ucinga ukuba kuthetha. Cinga ngesi sigwebo esilandelayo, kwaye uqaphele indlela utshintsho olutshintsho ngayo xa kugxininiswa kumagama ahlukeneyo.
- Andizange ndithi wathabatha imali.
- Andizange ndithi wathabatha imali.
- Andizange ndithi wathabatha imali .
Ukukhethwa kunye nelizwi lezwi lihlala lilahleka kwiinkcukacha ezibhaliweyo, kwaye asikwazi ukucela ukucaciswa. Ngoko ke, ukuba ufunda isimo se-Facebook esishiya ucinga, "Ngaba loo nto iqondiswe kum?" okanye i-imeyile eqala ukwenza igazi lakho libilise, okanye livumele ukuba lihambe okanye lifune umntu ngomntu obomnene (ubuso). Unokukhutshwa xa ufunda ukuba uphoswe ngokupheleleyo.
Zibuze: Ngaba Ingcebiso Yenkxaso Yezilwanyana Iingcebiso?
Kukho ulwazi oluninzi olujikelezayo apho phakathi kwabahlobo bakho kunye nosapho ukuba, ngokuqinisekileyo, alukho ubulumko begolide kodwa bufana ne-hogwash. Ingaba kukho nayiphi na inkolelo eninzi malunga notywala kunye nokuncelisa okanye kungekudala unokujika umntwana wakho phambili ejongene nesihlalo saloo moto, kuya kubakho amaxesha apho abantu banikela ngeziphakamiso ukuba isifo sezingane sakho siza kucebisa.
Phendula: Ungabanaki okanye Ubazise
Kule meko, unelungelo lokwenza. Unokwenza ukuba incoko iphose ngokumomotheka kunye nokukhwaza, okanye ungayisebenzisa njengethuba lokumxelela umntu. Ufanele ukwazi ukuba yiphi indlela efanelekileyo ngokusekelwe kwimeko kunye nomntu.
Amaninzi amaninzi, ingaba ngumntu wesizukulwana esidala esithe sagxininisa kwibinzana elithi "Ewe, xa ndibe ngumzali ..." Unokuthi unike lula, "Ngaba kunjalo?" kwaye mvumele ukuba abe neplati (okwangoku ungasebenzisa ngokwengqondo uluhlu lwakho lokutya njengoko egibela). Ngaphandle koko, umyalezo olula ohamba kunye nemigca ethi, "Oogqirha banamhlanje bayancoma u-_____, kwaye ndikhululekile kunye naloo nto."
Zibuze: Ngaba Ndiyazikhusela?
Ekugqibeleni, phakamisa ukuba uqwalasele ukuba akukho nto iphosakeleyo nento umntu ayenayo. Ingxaki inokuba yinto enesidima kuwe okanye unenkxalabo kumntu ngaphandle kweengcebiso. Ngamanye amaxesha njengabazali, sineendlela zokuzikhusela. Sinokukhathazeka ngokuziphatha kwabantwana bethu, ngoko ke sibeka abagcini bethu phezulu. Ukongezelela, sinokuvakalelwa ngathi ngaba bethu abasemthethweni bayasigxekisa. Ngokukhawuleza, zonke iigqabazo ezenziwayo siba yintonga ephosa entliziyweni yethu.
Phendula: Mamela Ngomlomo Wakho Uvalwe
Ukuba uyazi ukuba uyazikhusela, unokufuna ukuphulaphula. Mamela nje, ngaphandle kokuziva ngathi kufuneka ulungelelanise ukhetho lwakho lomzali. Ukuba iyaqhubeka, ukunyaniseka kunokunceda ukusabalalisa imeko. Qinisekisa ukuba le ngongoma apho uziva unentlonelo, okanye umxelele ukuba kufuneka uve ukukhuthazwa kunokuziphakamisa.
Ngexesha elizayo xa ufumana umphunga okhulayo phakathi kwakho njengoko uphulaphule into oyiqondayo yinkcazo yamakhono akho omzali, ngaphambi kokuba wenze nantoni na, cinga ngeemeko. Ngokuthatha ixesha lokucinga ngaphambi kokuba uphendule, unokwenene ufumane ulwazi oluncedo kwaye uphephe ukungqubuzana okungadingekile.