Akukho ndlela ejikeleze kuyo; ukuthunyelwa kunzima. Baxinzelelekile ngaphambili, ngexesha, nangemva koko-kwaye kungaphezu nje kokukhathazeka ngothandekayo wakho ode. Ngamanye amaxesha unokhathazeka ukuba impilo yezempi yayiyiyonto engafanelekanga okanye ukuba kunzima kuwe okanye kubantwana bakho. Ungakhalela ngaphakathi ngeentsuku ezithile, kodwa ube namandla njengensika kwabanye.
Njengoko kunzima njengendawo yokuhambisa, ungazifumana. Emva koko, izigidi zeentsapho zivele zikhona. Nantsi indlela:
Amandla akho Engqondo achaphazela Abantwana Bakho
Izifundo zibonisa ukuba abantwana bathembela kakhulu kubazali babo ukuba bangene kwiimeko ezinzima, ezifana nokuthunyelwa komzali. Bavame ukulandela ukukhokela kwakho kumaxesha anzima, ngoko isimo sakho sengqondo sinendima enkulu. Ukuba uyayisingatha kakuhle imeko, khetha ukuba uphumelele kwaye ulungile, kwaye unamandla ngokwengqondo nangokomzwelo, kukho ithuba lokuba abantwana bakho baya kuhamba kakuhle.
Zinike ixesha lokuzilungisa
Ixesha lexesha emva kokufumana i-oda yokuthunyelwa, kwaye ukuthunyelwa kwangoku kuza kuzaliswa yimingeni ekhethekileyo, engabandakanywa yedwa, uxinzelelo, ukhathazeka, kunye noyiko (yingakho kufuneka uzame ukungenzi izigqibo ezininzi kakhulu ngokufanelekileyo phambi kokuthunyelwa: mhlawumbi ungacingi ngokucacileyo njengoko ungathanda).
Kwaye emva kokuba ixesha elidlulileyo, emva kokusasaza i-honeymoon lidlulile, ukusetyenziswa ukuba noba okanye umama ekhaya kwakhona kuya kuthatha ixesha. Ezi ziinguqu ezinkulu kumntu wonke, ngoko ungazinzi nzima.
Gcina iRoutine rhoqo
Yonke into iya kuziva emva kwexesha elithile-kwaye kulungile. Kodwa, enye yezinto ezibaluleke kakhulu ongayenza ukuze uncede intsapho yakho ngamaxesha amanzima kukugcina kwishedyuli.
Qinisekisa ukuba baya esikolweni ngexesha ngalinye kusasa, banike irejimen yemisebenzi yexesha lasemini, kwaye baninzi ukutya ndawonye ngokusemandleni. Ezi zinto zincinci ziza kwenza umhlaba wohlukwano kwiintsapho ezinzima. Kuya kunika abantwana bakho ngengqondo yesiqhelo kwindawo eguqukayo kwaye bawanike ngozinzo.
Nquma indlela onokukunceda ngayo
Ulwazi, njengoko ilizwi elidala lihamba, ligunya. Kwaye uqonda ngakumbi malunga nendlela u-servicemember wakho, abantwana bakho, kwaye uza kusabela ngayo ukuthunyelwa ngcono. Omnye umthombo onamandla kwi-servicemember yakho "nguBawo WaseMpi: Isikhokelo sezandla kwiiNtloko eziSebenzisiweyo." Abantwana bakho baya kuba neemfuno ezahlukeneyo, kuxhomekeke kwimilinganiselo yabo yobudala kunye nokukhula. Abantwana abancinci banokuba nexesha elinzima ukuqonda ukuba kutheni udade kufuneka ahambe ekhaya ixesha elithile, kodwa uya kutshintsha ngokukhawuleza kuye. Abantwana abakhulileyo kunye nabaselula abasoloko bathanda utshintsho kwaye banokwenza, bavukele okanye bajike kuwe. Njengoko kungathandeki njengoko kunjalo, konke kuqhelekileyo ngokuqhelekileyo. Uyazi abantwana bakho kwaye uya kufuneka uthembele kwisigwebo sakho ukugqiba isigqibo esona ndlela esingcono yokubanceda. Abanye abantwana bayayiphendula kakuhle ngexesha ngalinye, ngelixa abanye badinga umsebenzi wezemidlalo okanye ixesha elide kwiintsapho zokuphumla.
Unokuphinde ulindele ixesha elibi emva kokuba umlingane wakho abuyele ekhaya-unokuphatha abantwana abancinci njengokuba baneminyaka elifanayo okanye kwinqanaba elifanayo lokuphucula njengoko babekho xa behamba. Mhlawumbi akanako ukukwazi ukwenza izinto ezizungezile okanye unokuziva ngathi ungumhambi ekhaya lakhe. Musa ukuxhalabisa-ezininzi zezi mpendulo ziqhelekileyo kwaye ziya kuphelisa ixesha elifutshane. Ukuba azinjalo, uya kufuna ukufumana uncedo oluvela kwezinye iindawo.
Yazi ukuba awunakuze wedwa kwaye ukuba Uncedo luhlala lukhona
Ukuba unzima ukuzikhathalela wena okanye abantwana bakho okanye ufumana uzive ungathembeki okanye ucinezelekile, nceda ufikelele.
Kukho imibutho ezinikele ekuncedeni abantu kule miba echanekileyo. Kukho iinkqubo ezinokukunika ithemba kunye nokuphefumula. Kukho izandla ezifuna ukuthuthuzela. Abahlobo kunye nosapho bakho bafuna ukuba khona kuwe, naye, kodwa kufuneka uvumele ukuba bangene kuyo. Konke kuqala ngokuvuma ukuba ufuna uncedo. Sebenzisa izixhobo ezikhoyo kuwe ukusuka emkhosini-zininzi iindlela zokunceda intsapho yakho ngeli xesha elinzima-ungesabi ukucela uncedo.
Ehlelwe kwaye ihlaziywe ngu- Armin Brott , ngoDisemba 2016