13 zizathu zokuba kutheni ukuthetha nabantwana bakho ngemiba emikhulu kubalulekile
Xa i-Netflix yazisa ukuba iphuhlise i-mini-series ejoliswe kwincwadi kaJay Asher, "Izizathu ezi-13 Kutheni," abalandeli beencwadi babenelisekile ukubona oko kuphila. Kule ncwadi, nakwichungechunge, ibali libhekiselele kwintombazana ephakamileyo ebizwa ngokuba nguHannah Baker, owafa ngokuzibulala waza washiya iitampu zekhasethi kubantu abayi-13 abavalelwa ukuba bamyeke baze bachaphazela isigqibo sakhe.
Ngaloo mibhalo, ababukeli bafumanisa ukuba ngaba bantu aba 13 bathini kuHana. Ubugqwetha babo buquka konke ukuxhatshazwa , ukwabelana ngokunyaniseka kwezithombe kunye nokungaphumeleli ukumelana naye, ukuqala amahemuhemu kunye nokuhlaselwa ngokwesondo .
Kodwa ezinye iingcali zengqondo kunye nokuzikhusela ukuzibulala ziqaphele ukuba uchungechunge oluninzi lwe-Netflix lunokulimaza ngaphezu kokulungileyo. Inkxalabo yabo enkulu kukuba i-movie iya kwandisa inani lokuzibulala kwabaselula kuba kukho ubungqina bokuthi ukuzibulala kuxhatshazwayo. Ngamanye amazwi, xa ukuzibulala kufumana ingqalelo kwimidiya, amazinga okuzibulala ayenyuka. Okwangoku, abanye ababukeli abavumelaniyo kwaye bafumanisa ukuba lo mbandela ukhankanya nje ukunyuka kwabantu abangenangqondo kunye nokungaxhatshazi kakuhle esikolweni esiphakamileyo kodwa kwandula ukuwamkelwa kwentsha yesondo.
Kungakhathaliseki ukuba zakho iingcamango malunga nochungechunge, lubonise ukubaluleka kokuthetha nabantwana bakho malunga nemibandela emithathu yezona zinto zichaphazela ubomi babantu abatsha-ukuxhaphaza, ukuhlaselwa ngokwesini, nokuzibulala.
Umntwana omdala kuphela okhupha i-movie ayijongisi ukusetyenziswa kakubi kweziyobisi .
Kutheni ungafanele ugweme izihloko ezilukhuni
Ukuphepha izihloko ezinzima ebomini bakho bentombazana aziyi kubangela ukuba zihambe okanye zigcine zingenzeki. Ngaphezu koko, ukungabikho koqhagamshelwano kunokwenene kungabanelungelo kubo, ingakumbi kuba ukuzibulala kuyimbangela yesibini yokubangela ukufa kwaba-15-34 ubudala.
Okwangoku, amabhinqa aneminyaka engama-16 ukuya kweye-19 anamaxesha amaninzi okuba ngamaxhoba okudlwengula, ukuzama ukudlwengula, okanye ukuhlaselwa ngokwesondo kunabantu bonke. Kwaye, enye yezifundo ezihlanu zixhatshazwa. Ngenxa yoko, akungabazeki ukuba le micimbi ibingabantwana abaselula kwaye kufuneka uxoxe ngabo.
Ingxoxo enqamlekileyo kunye nezingane zakho ngokuzibulala, ukudlwengulwa kunye nokuxhatshazwa akuphelelanga kuphela, kodwa kungasindisa ubomi. Nangona kunjalo, abazali abaninzi bayeke ukuthetha nabantwana babo malunga neengxaki ezinzima, ngokuzibulala, kuba besaba ukuthetha baya kufaka ingcamango yabo entloko. Kodwa uphando luye lwabonisa ukuba ukuthula nokunyanyelwa kukuvimbela abo basemngciphekweni ukuba bangafuni ukufumana inkxaso. Yaye ukuba umntwana wakho sele ecinga ngokuzibulala, ukuthetha ngaye kungabangela ithemba kunye nombono ebomini babo. Ngaphezu koko, uvumela umntwana wakho ukuba alungile ukuthetha ngale miba.
Izizathu Ezibonisa Ukuba Kuthetha Intsha Yakho Kubalulekile
Xa uthetha nabantwana bakho malunga nezifundo ezinzima zokuzibulala, ukudlwengulwa, ukuxhatshazwa, ubudlova obusondelene nabaninzi, ziba ngqo kwaye zixhobe ngeengcamango nolwazi.
1. Ukuthetha ukuba oko bahlangabezanayo akuyona into eqhelekileyo yobomi bentsha .
Uninzi lweendaba alubonakali ukuzibulala, ukudlwengula, okanye ukuxhatshazwa ngokuchanekileyo. Enyanisweni, inokuthi ikwazi ukuvalelwa okanye igxile. Intswelo kufuneka ikwazi ukuba ukuziva uxinezelekileyo okanye ukuzibulala kunokuthi kwenzeke kuninzi intsha abayayaziyo, kodwa akuyinto emele yamukelwe njengenxalenye evamile yobomi bentsha.
Ukukholelwa ukuba kubonisa ukuba intsha ihamba nje kwisigaba kwaye iya kufikelela kuyo. Akunjalo. Ukuba umntu uziva ecinezelekile kwaye ecinga ukuzibulala, afuna uncedo kunye nokungenelela. Ingakumbi, ukuba umntu udlwenguliwe okanye uxhatshazwa abayi kuhamba "nje." Kwimeko nganye yeziganeko, intsha idinga uncedo kumgqirha, umcebisi okanye isazi sengqondo sokuqala inkqubo yokuphilisa .
Kwakhona kufuneka baqonde ukuba abazali babo bekhona ukubancedisa nokubanceda.
2. Chaza into ephilileyo kunye nento engekho. Iintswelo zifuna ukuva kubazali bazo ukuba ukuxhatshazwa, ubudlova obusondeleyo, ukuxhatshazwa ngokwesini, ukuthumelelana nge-sexu , ukuhlaselwa ngokwesondo kunye nokunye akunjalo. Kucinga ukuba babeka engozini yokusetyenziswa kakubi kwabanye. Kunoko, intsha yakho ifuna ukuva ukuba ubuhlobo obuphilileyo kunye nobudlelwane obusondeleyo bubukeka ngathi.
Kwakhona kufuneka bave ukuba baxabiseke kwaye bafanelwe ukuphathwa ngokuhlonipha nesithunzi. Ngokufanayo, akunempilo ukukhanya ngokuzibulala. Ukuba umntwana wakho ucinga ngokuzibulala kwaye uye wacinga ngeendlela azenza ngayo, kufuneka ube nencoko yakhe ngengcali yezempilo yengqondo. Ukucinga ngokuzibulala ngenye yezibonakaliso zokuzibulala zokuziphatha.
3. Baxhobisa ngolwazi nangolwazi . Ukuthetha nabantwana bakho ngokuvulekileyo nangokunyanisekileyo malunga nezihloko ezinzima ezifana nokuhlaselwa ngokwesondo, ukuxhatshazwa nokuzibulala, kubanika ulwazi oluchanileyo noluncedo kumntu abathemba kakhulu-wena. Ngokomzekelo, ukuthetha ngokuzibulala akuyikutshala ingcamango entloko yomntu. Ngokwenene uvula uxhulumaniso malunga nesihloko esoloko sigcinwa imfihlelo. Ngokufanayo, ukuxhatshazwa nokuhlaselwa ngokwesondo kufuthi kugcinwe imfihlo. Kodwa xa izihloko ezifihliweyo zibonakaliswa kwaye zixutyushwa, ziba namandla kakhulu kwaye ziyatshiswa. Ukuthetha kwakhona kuxoxa nezingane zakho ukuba ezi zihloko aziyikucima umda kwaye ziyakwazi ukuzikhupha nanini na xa zifuna.
4. Baqeqesha ngeengcamango zento omele uyibukele. Njengomzali, ngumsebenzi wakho ukufundisa abantwana bakho ngokubaluleka kokunyamekela impilo yabo yengqondo njengokuba wenzayo ngempilo yabo yomzimba. Ngenxa yoko, kufuneka baqonde iimpawu zokulumkisa nokuzibulala kunye nendlela yokufumana uncedo xa kuyimfuneko. T
Kwakhona kufuneka ukuba azi indlela yokujongana nokuxhatshazwa xa kwenzeka, kubandakanywa nendlela yokuphepha ukuxhatshazwa kwamatye kunye nendlela yokumelana nokuxhaphaza okanye ukuzikhusela . Ngokufanayo, intsha kufuneka ikwazi ukuba ukuhlaselwa ngokwesondo kunokwenzeka ukuba kwenzeke nabantu ababaziyo, njengentlangano okanye nomntu abathandana naye. Ukugxininiswa ukuba ukuhlaselwa ngokwesondo akusoze kubekho iphoso kunye nokuba awuyi kubagxeka nangona baphula umthetho weentsapho. Qinisekisa ukuba bayazi ukuba ufuna ukuba bakhulume nawe.
5. Gcina imizila yoqhagamshelwano evulekile . Xa uthetha nezingane zakho rhoqo ngezifundo ezinzima kwaye ezibucayi, ukhuthaza ingqondo kunye nezingane zakho ukuba ukhona ukunceda. Ngokukhawuleza, akukho sihloko sihlazo kakhulu ukuxoxa kwaye bazive ngathi banokukubuza into.
6. Bafundise oko kwenzeka ntoni ukuba bengathethi . Kwakhona kubalulekile ukuqinisekisa ukuba umntwana wakho uyazi ukuba ukugcina iimfihlelo malunga nokuxhatshazwa, ukuhlaselwa ngokwesondo, nokuzibulala akuphilisanga kwaye akunobulumko. Ingaba umntu ojongene neengxaki ngabo okanye umhlobo, akuyiyo imicimbi ekufuneka ijongane nayo yedwa okanye ngaphandle koxhaswa ngabantu abadala. Qinisekisa ukuba bayazi ukuba ukuthetha nabanye, ngelixa kunokuba kubuhlungu okanye kuhlazisa, yindlela efanelekileyo yokufumana uncedo. Kwaye ukuba abaxeleli umntu malunga noko bahlangabezana nayo (okanye umhlobo onjani), izinto zingaba zibi nakakhulu.
7. Ukuthetha ukuba abodwa . Imiva yokuba yedwa, ukushiya, kunye nokuphelelwa lithemba ziqhelekileyo kwixhoba lokuxhatshazwa kunye nokuhlaselwa ngokwesondo kunye nabantu abavakalelwa ukuzibulala. Ngenxa yoko, ukuthetha ngale miba nokuvumela abantwaba ukuba bachaze iimvakalelo zabo bathetha ukuba umntu uyabakhathalela kwaye abodwa. Ungalokothi uthobise amandla ovakalelwa. Nangona umntwa wakho engabonanga nto ebalulekileyo ebomini bakhe, ukuthetha rhoqo kusasazi ukuba uyazikhathalela nokuba ukhona kuzo.
8. Bonisa ukuba kukho uncedo olukhoyo . Xa uthetha intsha yakho malunga nale micimbi kukunceda ufumane umfanekiso ongcono wezinto abaye bahlangabezana nazo, oko bakubonayo esikolweni kunye nento abajongene nayo. Kwaye ukuba umntwana wakho unenkqantosi ethile, unokunika uthando kunye nenkxaso engenammiselo kunye nokufumana naluphi na uhlobo lwangaphandle olungenakunceda. Oku kungakhuthaza kakhulu abantwana ukuba baqonde ukuba umntu unokubanceda baqikelele oko bakufumanayo.
9. Ukuthetha ukuba banokuziva bebhetele . Akukho ntombazana inomdla onesizungu kwaye edabukisayo. Abayithandi intlungu kunye nokuthotywa okungenzeka ngokuxhatshazwa, ukudlwengulwa, nokuzibulala. Xa uthetha rhoqo kunye nentombazana yakho malunga nokokuqhelekileyo kunye nento engekho, lo myalezo ubhalwe. Ngenxa yoko, banako ukuqonda ukuba indlela abavakalelwa ngayo akuqhelekanga kwaye bakhulume nawe malunga nayo. Kwaye banokuba banqwenela ukufumana uncedo kubahlobo babo abanobunzima bokuzixhalabisa nokuxinezeleka.
10. Gxi ninisa ukuba abafanelanga . Amaxesha amaninzi, intsha ikholelwa ukuba ukuba ukuxhatshazwa okanye ukuhlaselwa ngokwesondo, kwenzeka ukuba ixhoba lenze into yokuba lifanelwe. Kodwa ukuba uthetha nezingane zakho ngokuqhelekileyo baya kuqaphela ukuba akukho mntu ufanelwe ukuxhatshazwa kwaye akukho mntu ufanele ukudlwengulwa. Akukuphela nje ukuba lo myalezo ulungile ukuba intsha yakho ive, kodwa inceda kwakhona ukuba bavelele abantu ababaziyo ukuba bahlushwa. Kwaye, banokuphindaphinda kwaye bakholwe lo myalezo-ukuba akukho mntu ufanele ukuxhatshazwa okanye adlwengulwe-xa udibanisa rhoqo.
11. Banike iingcamango malunga nendlela yokufumana uncedo . Qinisekisa ukuba abantwana bakho abazi nje ukuba banokuthetha nawe, kodwa bona bayazi nendlela yokufumana uncedo ngezinye iindlela. Xoxa nabo ngemizila yokutshatyalaliswa kokuzibulala, imigca yokudlwengulwa, kunye neendima zabacebisi besikolo. Kubalulekile ukuxhobisa intsha yakho ngezixhobo zokujongana nale micimbi emikhulu.
12. Ukunciphisa i-stigma malunga nokuxoxa ngezihloko ezishisayo . Xa uxoxisana ngalezi zihloko kunye nentsha yakho, ngakumbi uthatha ihlazo kwaye unike abantwana bakho ithuba lokuthetha ngokukhululekile nangenkululeko. Qinisekisa ukuba abantwana bakho bayazi ukuba akukho mxholo uphelelwe umda kunye nawe. Ngokudala lolu hlobo lomhlaba ekhaya lakho, abantwana bakho banokuza kuwe ngemibuzo kunye nexhala. Oku akuthethi ukuba akufanele ujonge iimpawu zokuzibulala okanye iimpawu zokudandatheka. Kodwa ukuba neengxoxo ezivulekileyo kunye nezingane zakho zandisa amathuba okuba zifikelele.
13. Nceda ukukhusela ezi zinto ebomini babo . Nangona kungekho ncoko iya kuphelisa umngcipheko wokuzibulala, ukuxhaphaza okanye ukudlwengula, kunokuhamba ixesha elide ekufundiseni abantwana bakho malunga noko kwenzeka. Kwaye nangona umntwana wakho engasayi kubhekana nazo naziphi na iimeko, iingxaki ziphezulu kakhulu ukuba umntu owaziyo uya kuba. Ukuba unenkuthalo ngokuthetha nabo malunga nezihloko ezinzima, amathuba okuba bayazi ukuba banokuza kuwe uncedo.
> Imithombo:
> "I-Contagion Media and Self-Suicide Among Young," Columbia University. http://www.ensani.ir/storage/Files/20110209140608-% 20% kwaye% 20% 20 ne% 20 i-% 20 i-% 20 i-20% i-% 20 i-pdf.
> "Abantwana kunye neenkcukacha zobutsha," i-RAIIN. https://www.rainn.org/statistics/children-and-teens
> "I-Bullying Statistics," iPacer's National Bullying Prevention Centre. http://www.pacer.org/bullying/resources/stats.asp