Ngaba ukuxhalaba kwamava oonyana bakho ngaphambi kokuhambela kwabazali kunye neyokuqala? Nantsi indlela yokuchonga umba kwaye wenze isigqibo malunga nendlela engcono yokuyithatha ngaphandle kokuphula isivumelwano sakho sokugcina umntwana.
Ukuchonga Ukuhlukana Ukukhathazeka
Ungasetyenziselwa ukucinga ngokuxhalabisa ngokuhlukana njengendlela yezinto eziziphatha ngayo abantwana abaselula abakubonisayo xa behlula kumncedisi wabo oyintloko.
Enyanisweni, ukuba abantwana bakho sele 'bekhulile' kweli nqanaba lokulila kunye nokunyanzela, kunokuxhalabisa ukubona ukuxhalaba koxinzelelo kumqolo ngokumalunga nokuhambela kwabazali bakho. Sekunjalo xa iintsapho zithatha utshintsho olukhulu, ezifana nokuhamba, ukwahlula, okanye ukwahlukanisa, kuyaqhelekileyo ukuba abazali babone iipatheni ezindala ziphinde ziphinde zibuye, kubantwana abadala. Ngoko kubonakala ngathi? Xa ukuxhalabisa ukuhlukana kuvelisa intloko yaso embi, abantwana beeminyaka yonke bangabonisa:
- Iibhokhwe zokulila
- Ukuxhalabisa
- Ukwenyuka kokunganiseki
- Intukuthelo nokukhungatheka
- Uloyiko
- Unzima ukulala
- Utshintsho lwesondlo
Khumbula kwakhona ukuba abantwana bakho banokufumana ezi ziphathekayo zokuxhalaba, nokuba ngaba kungekho sizathu kubo. Ngamanye amazwi, abantwana bakho akudingeki ukuba ube nesisisiseko esihle, esilungileyo sokwesaba ukulala kwindlu yakho yangaphambili ukuze bahambe ngokuxhalabisa ngokwahlukileyo njengoko ukutyelela kuyasondela. Oku kungenxa yokuba ukuxhalaba abajongene nayo akunakulungelelanisi.
Kwaye ukuba ngaba ungumncedisi oyintloko, uqikelele ukuba umehluko phakathi kwezinto ezingenangqiqo kunye noko kusemthethweni kungomnye wemimiselo enzima kakhulu yokuhamba ngokuxhalabisa ukuhlukana ngokuphathelele ukhenketwa kwabazali.
Thepha kwiNgqondo Yakho Yengqiqo
Njengoko ukuxhalabisa uxhalabhaka phambi kokuqala ukutyelela, umntwanakho akanakho ukucinga ngengqiqo.
Yingakho kubaluleke nakakhulu ukuba ube nengqiqo kwaye ugcine ukukhathazeka kwakho ngokwahlukana. Khawucinge ngezinto owaziyo malunga nokuqala kwakho kwaye apho umntwana wakho uya kuchitha ixesha ngexesha lokutyelela okucwangcisiweyo. Kungenzeka ukuba usenokuba nethemba lokuba umntwana wakho uya kuhlala ekhuselekile kunye nomntu wakho njengoko ehlala ekhaya. Yingakho iinkundla zalalela ukuvakasha, kunene? Naliphi na imiba ebenokuqinisekisa ukuba ukuhlolwa kokugcinwa kwabantwana kwintsapho sele ihlolwe, kwaye ngaphandle kokuba unesizathu esinyanisekileyo sokukhathazeka ngokhuseleko lokutyelela, ukuhlaziya umoya wokuzithemba kuya kuhamba ixesha elide ekuncedeni ukuphucula umntwana wakho ngaphambili -cwangcisa i-jitters.
Gwema i-Knee-Jerk Reactions
Kunzima ukubona umntwana wakho ehamba noxhala lokuhlukana njengoko uhambela indlela yakho yokuqala. Kodwa ukunika nokuvumela umntwana wakho ukuba adlule kwiindwendwe ezicwangcisiweyo kunye no-ex wakho akuvumelekanga ukuba uphendule. Enyanisweni, ukuphatha olo hlobo lombane phezu komntwana wakho kunokudideka kwaye kunokukwenza ukuba uxhalabise ngakumbi. Ngoko gwema isilingo sokunika ukwesaba komntwana wakho ngokumvumela ukuba ahlale ekhaya "oku kanye kanye kanye." Kunoko, sebenzisa izicwangciso ezingezantsi ukulungisa umba.
Qalisa Ingxoxo
Thetha nomntwana wakho malunga noko akuvakalelwayo.
Kodwa musa ukubuza nje into eyoyikisayo. Kwakhona, cela umntwana wakho oko akhangele phambili kwindlu yakho yangaphambili kunye nantoni yezinto ezonwabileyo abazenzayo ngokugqibela. Hlalani nikhumbula, ukuba umntwana wakho unokukhathazeka ngokukushiya emva. Ukuba kunjalo, khankanya oko uza kuyenza kunye nendlela ongeke ulinde ukutshintshana izindaba omnye nomnye xa ubuya kunye emva kokutyelela.
Ukubeka i-Age-Proper Properties
Xa uhamba ngokuxhalabisa ukuxhatshazwa okuhambelana nokutyelela, qiniseka ukuqwalasela ubudala bomntwana wakho.
- Iintsana zinenzuzo ngokuba nesimiso esifanayo, ngoko qi Kwaye ukuba kukho into ethile ekhethekileyo esebenza njengelungu lokunciphisa umntwana wakho xa ekhala-njengebhola ibhola-ungazigcineli. Yabelana nantoni na esebenzayo kunye ne-ex yakho ukuze ahlalise umntwana wakho xa kufuneka xa ungekho.
- Abantwana abasenokuba noxhala lokuhlukana rhoqo xa uhlukeneyo, ngoko-ke qaphela ukuba ungabonakali ubunzima obuninzi ngaphambi kokutyelela uxhalaba lokuhlukana kule nqanaba. Ukongeza, qiniseka ukuba wabelane ngezinye zakho zokuhamba ukuya kwimisebenzi oncike kuyo ukugcina umntwana wakho ohlala exakekile kwaye ebandakanyekile.
- Abafundi basesekondleni basadinga induduzo yokuvumelana. Ngoko qiniseka ukupakisha isilwanyana sakho esithandayo esithandayo kunye nezinye 'iimfuno' kwiindawo ezininzi. Yaye ukuba kukho ixesha lokulala lokumnceda ukuba akwazi ukulala ngokulula, qiniseka ukuba wabelane ngesazisi yakho eyimfihlakalo kunye neyokuqala. Ukulala ubusuku obuhle kunokunceda xa umntanakho ephazamisekile.
- Abantwana abaneminyaka esikolweni bangaba nemisebenzi abafuna ukuyenza, njengokwenza ibhola okanye izifundo zepiyano. Ukuba kuyenzeka, yiba nomntwana wakho kumsebenzi ngamnye ohleliweyo ukwenzela ukuba bawanandiphe kunye. Kwaye njengabantwana besikolo esikolweni, abantwana abaneminyaka esikolweni banempembelelo enkulu ekulahlekeni kokulala. Ngoko ukuba ulwalamano oluhle kunye nomntu wakho wokuqala, mqeqeshe ukuba anamathele kwixesha lokulala lomntwana wakho.
- Iintsholongwane zixhomekeke kubahlobo babo kwaye zingaphuthelwa ukuchitha ixesha kunye nabo ngexesha lokutyelela. Cinga ukuba ingaba yakho intsha ukuba ihlale idibanisa kwi-digitally ngexesha lexesha elide kunye neyokuqala. Oku kunokukunceda ukunciphisa ubuhlungu bentliziyo ephumayo ngexesha lokutyelela ngaphandle kokunciphisa ubuhlobo bomntwana wakho.
Bambisana ne-Ex yakho
Nangona ungahambelani nomntu wakho wokuqala, okanye ukuba intlungu oye wabangela omnye komnye isanda kutsha, ukufunda indlela yokusebenzisana njengabazali-co-parent kuya kunceda umntwana wakho ukuba akwazi ukuhlangabezana nokuxhalaba okuxhomekeke kwintlanganiso. Kule ndlela, zama uku:
- Vumelana phambili phambi kweshedyuli yokutyelelwa kwetyala. Unokudinga ukuguquguquka malunga nobude kunye nobunzima bokutyelela, kodwa ukuyigcina xa umntwana wakho ejongene nokuxhalabisa ngokubaluleka kubaluleke kakhulu. Khumbula ukuba umgomo wakho ngumntwana wakho kunye no-ex wakho ukudala ubudlelwane obunokuqhubekayo, obuhle, nobudlelwane. Oku akunakwenzeka ngaphandle kokuchitha ixesha kunye!
- Cwangcisa ixesha kunye nendlela ozakuthetha ngayo. Umntwana wakho unokuthuthuzelwa ukuba wazi ngaphambili kwaye uza kuba nini na ukuthetha. Enoba uza kuba ubiza imihla ngemihla, okanye umntwana wakho unokukubhalela umlomo rhoqo ekuseni nakusihlwa, ukusekela inkqubo kunye nokubeka ilindele ukuba uza kuxhuma njani kunokuncedisa ukuxinisa uxhalaba lokuhlukana.
- Cwangcisa phambili kwiimeko. Kukho amaxesha apho ukukhathazeka kwengane yakho kubonakala kunzima kangangokuthi ngamnye uya kuqala ukuzibuza nokuba ngaba isicwangciso oyilelile siyasebenza. Cwangcisa phambili ukuba zeziphi iimpawu zokuziphatha ezigunyazisa umnxeba ongatshintshiweyo okanye nokuba utshintsho lwemizuzu yokugqibela.
Fumana Iintlanga Zakho Zibandakanyeke
Ingakumbi ukuba umntwana wakho akaqhelekanga ukuba akude nawe, kunokukunceda ukucwangcisa ukuhamba kwexesha elifutshane kunye nabanye, oomama kunye nabahlobo. Oku kuvumela umntwana wakho (kunye nawe) ukuba asebenzise ukuhlukana kwexesha elifutshane ngaphandle kwengcinezelo eyongezelelweyo ehambelana nokunciphisa naziphi na iingxelo ezingabonakaliyo njengoko uhambelana nexesha lakho ngaphambili nangethuba lokuhlaselwa.
Thatha iintshukumo zeNtsana
Ingakumbi xa umntwana wakho efumana ukwanda kwenkxalabo yokuhlukanisa ehambelana nokuhambela kwabazali, kubalulekile ukuthatha amanyathelo amancinane, anokulinganiswa kwaye ubhiyozele impumelelo yakho. Ukuba ukuhanjiswa kwangaphambili kunye nokuthunyelwa kwamathambo kufutshane, uyaphumelela. Ukuba umntwana wakho uxela into ejabulisayo emva kobusuku obusemva bakho, wenza inkqubela. Kuya kuthatha ixesha, kodwa uya kufika apho.
Hlola kwakhona iSicwangciso sakho rhoqo
Akukho cwangciso sozali esisigxina. Ngoko zinike uguquko njengoko uhamba ngokuxhatshazwa komntwana wakho. Nika ingqalelo oko kusebenzayo kwaye uzame ukuyiphinda rhoqo. Yaye qiniseka ukuba uphinde uhlole isicwangciso sakho rhoqo, kwaye ubuncinane kanye ngonyaka, ukwenza utshintsho kwaye uqhubeke neemfuno zomntwana wakho.