Ukukhutshwa ngokubhekiselele kubhekisela ekukhethweni komzali ngokuzimela ngokuzithandela ukuxhaswa ngokomzimba, ngokomzwelo nangemali evela kumntwana omncinci. Ngamanye amagama, ukushiya kwenzeka xa umzali ehluleka ukuzalisekisa uxanduva lwakhe lomzali kwaye ukhetha ukungabonisane nomntwana wakhe. Ukushiywa kwabazali akukhawulelwanga kubazali abangabikhoyo, mhlawumbi.
Ngamanye amaxesha abazali abanelungelo lokugcinwa kuphela-nokuba nabo balwe kanzima enkundleni ukuba banqobe abantwana-nabo basolwa ngokubalahla abantwana babo.
Kutheni Abazali Bashiya?
Umbuzo oqhelekileyo kukuba, "Umzali unokuyenza njani loo nto?" Ngokudabukisayo, abazali abayekela abantwana babo bahlala benjenjalo ngenxa yokuba bakholelwa ukuba abanakho ukuxhotyiswa ukubonelela ukuzinza kwengqondo kunye nokuzinza kwemali umntwana afuna. Kuqhelekile ukugxeka oku kwisakhono esizukulwana esidlulileyo kumzali (okanye ukungabi naso), kodwa ke akunyaniseki ukuba bonke abazali abayekekayo baphathwa kakubi, bengahoywa okanye bahoywa njengabantwana. Ngokuqinisekileyo, sibona imihla ngemihla yabazali abaye bahoywa okanye baxhaphazwa, kodwa kamva baba ngabazali abanothando, abazinikeleyo. Ngoko ezi ntlobo ze-generalizations aziboni xa zihlolisiswa ngakumbi.
Ukungathandabuzeki kunokuba ngumntu oqhelekileyo kwiimeko apho abazali belahlela ngabantwana babo ngokuzithandela. Nangona akusiyo isizathu esivakalayo, kunokubakho nto ebalulekileyo ekufuneka uyiqwalasele xa uzama ukuchazela umntwana wakho ukuba kutheni umnye umzali ukhetha ukuba angagqithwanga.
Ukucacisa ukukhutshwa komntwana
Ukuba ukhulisa abantwana bakho ngokwakho, kunye nomnye umzali ukhetha ukungabandakanyeka, unokulindela ukuba abantwana bakho ekugqibeleni baqale ukubuza imibuzo enzima oyifunayo ukuyiphendula. Ezi ngcebiso zilandelayo zinokukunceda:
- Hlonipha ukukhawuleza. Kuzama ukubeka ingxoxo, kodwa ukuba abantwana bakho bayayikhupha, bakulungele ukuthetha ngayo.
- Thembela wena. Akudingeki ukuba ube negama eligqibeleleyo elicwangcisiweyo. Yazisa imibuzo yabo kunye nokulimaza kwabo. Bonisa uvelwano kwaye ubaxelele ukuba uya kuhlala ukhona, kungakhathaliseki ukuba yintoni.
- Fumana into enokuthi uthethe nge-ex. Oku kunzima, ngakumbi xa usenomsindo okanye ukuhlukana kutsha. Kodwa kubalulekile ukuba ukhumbule ukuba abantwana bakho bathatha inxalenye yakho yangaphakathi ngaphakathi, ngoko awufuni ukubanika ingcamango yokuba "konke kubi."
- Qhubeka ncoko. Kungenzeka ukuba uya kuba neengxoxo ezininzi kunye nezingane zakho malunga nale ngxaki. Kubo, ukuqaphela nokuqamba ukushiywa yiyona nto inxalenye yenkqubo yokulila. Baya kuba nemvakalelo eninzi edibeneyo, kuquka nentlungu kunye nentukuthelo, ngaphambi kokufika kwinqanaba lokwamkelwa, kwaye baya kufuneka ukuba bazi yonke indlela ozimisele ukuyiva ngayo kwaye ube nehlombe ukuxhomekeka .
Ukulahlekelwa kwamalungelo omzali ngenxa yokukhutshwa
Kwinkoliso ezininzi, umzali kuthiwa 'ulahlile' umntwana emva kweminyaka emibili yokuthintela umnxeba kunye nenkxaso yezemali. Ukukhutshwa kungakhokelela ekulahlekelweni kwamalungelo omzali womntu. Nangona kunjalo, umzali akakwazi ukukhetha okanye ukhethe ngokwakhe ukuba alahlekelwe la malungelo.
Enyanisweni, nakwiimeko zokushiya ngokucacileyo nangokuzikhethela, amaninzi amazwe awayikuphelisa ngokusemthethweni amalungelo omzali ngaphandle kokuba kukho omnye umzali, njengomzali onyathelo, olindele ukumkela ngokusemthethweni umntwana.
Ukuhlanganiswa Kwangemva Kwokuthunjwa
Abanye abazali abaye baphoxisa ebomini babo abantwana baya kuqonda impazamo yabo kwaye banqwenela ukufuna ukuxolelwa nokubuyisela ubuhlobo. Kwiimeko apho umzali ongaphumelelanga ngaphambili akwazi ukuthatha inxaxheba rhoqo kwimpilo yabantwana kwaye uye wabonisa ukuzibophezela ukwenza oko, amava angakunika ukuphilisa nokubuyiswa okufunekayo.
Ukuba ithuba livela kwaye awuqinisekanga ukuba wenzeni, khawucinge ukuthetha nomgqirha okanye umcebisi malunga neenkxalabo zakho ngaphambi kokuba wenze isigqibo.