Mhlawumbi uye wabona imizekelo yabantu abaninzi abazali behlazola abantwana kwi-intanethi nakwimiphakathi. Ukusuka kwimiphumo ekhulayo ngokukhawuleza-nokudibanisa iinkcukacha kunoma ubani oya kuphulaphula 'ukubiza' ukuziphatha okuphazamisayo kwi-Facebook kunye ne-Instagram, abantwana abahlaselayo bebonke bangabonakala bebenokuqala ekuqaleni. Ngokuqinisekileyo uyaziqwalasela, akunjalo? Kodwa ingxaki kukuba ayikaze isebenze ngexesha elide njengesixhobo sokufakela ukuziphatha kwezingane zakho.
Ukongezelela, kunokuba nefuthe elibi kunye nefuthe kumtshato wakho nomzali-abantwana, kungabonakali ukuzithemba kwabo. Nakhu okufuneka ukwazi malunga nokuhlazisa abantwana bakho kwi-intanethi kunye noluntu, kubandakanywa nemizekelo yamazwi ahlazo abazali abangabodwa, ngokukodwa, kufuneka bakuphephe.
Kuyini ukuhlambalaza?
Ukuzibuza ngokucacileyo oko kukuhlazisa umntwana? Nazi ezinye izibonelo:
- Ukuxelela amabali anamahloni okanye atyhilayo kwizame zokuphatha isimo sengqondo somntu okanye ukuziphatha kwakhe
- Ukuthatha into ekumele ibe yintetho yangasese malunga nokuziphatha kunye nemiphumo kwaye yenza uluntu ngokuwabelana kunye nabahlobo, intsapho, okanye ihlabathi jikelele (ngokusebenzisa i-media media)
- Ukwenza umntwana azive engalunganga ngaye ngokwakhe, njengomntu, endaweni yokugxila ekuziphatheni okwenene uzama ukutshintsha
Ngokudabukisayo, ezi zinto zingabonakala zisebenza ekuqaleni, kodwa ukuhlazisa umntwana wakho ngokukhawuleza kuya kubuya.
Kwaye ngoxa abazali basebenzise ihlazo ukususela ekuqaleni, ukufikelela kweendaba zoluntu kwenza kube yingozi kunanini ngaphambili. Akunakuphela nje ukulahlekelwa ukulingana okunxulumene kakhulu, kodwa abantwana abahlazileyo kwindawo kawonkewonke okanye kwi-Intanethi banokutshabalalisa ukuzithemba nokuzithemba. Ngexesha elifanayo, lugxotha ukukhuthaza umntwana wakho ukuba ahlanganyele kwizinto eziziphetheyo ozama ukukhuthaza.
Ukuthotywa nokuhlambalaza
Yintoni edidekayo kubazali kukuba iingcamango neemvakalelo zichaphazela ukuziphatha. Ngokomzekelo, ukuba uyakhwaza abantwana bakho waza wecinga ukuba unetyala okanye uzisola, loo mvakalelo inokuba yanele ukwenza utshintshe indlela oziphatha ngayo. Kodwa kukho umehluko phakathi kwecala kunye nehlazo. NjengoBrené Brown, uprofesa wophando kwiYunivesithi yaseHouston kunye nombhali weNew York Times incwadi enokuthengisa ngokugqithiseleyo, ebeka: inecala ithi "ndenze into embi," ngelixa ihlazo lithi, " Ndiyingozi." Kungakhathaliseki ukuba yiyiphi imingeni yokuziphatha ojongene nayo ngoku, akusiyo umyalezo ofuna ukuthumela kubantwana bakho.
Kutheni Uhlazisa Abantwabakho Abangasebenzi
Iintloni zezingane nazo ziyingozi kuba uhlazo ludla luba nomvakalelo oluqhubekayo, kwaye kaninzi luhlala ixesha elide kunokuba uqaphele okanye unenjongo. Ngoko ngeli xesha libonakala ngathi liphezulu njengabazali abahlazola abantwana babo kwiimidiya zentlalo bafumana iziphumo, qaphela ukuba le ndlela yokwenza umzali ingonakalisa izinto ezimbini osebenza nzima ukwenza:
- Ukuzithemba komntwana wakho
- Ubuhlobo bakho besikhathi eside
Kwabanye, kukho ukudibanisa phakathi kokufikelela kwehlazo loluntu kunye nefuthe layo elide elide. Umzekelo, ukuhlazisa umntwana esidlangalaleni kwi-Facebook, apho kukho imbono yokuba inani elikhulu labantu liyabona, linokuyingozi kowenu ubuhlobo kunye nomntwana wengqondo yakho kunokuba udala "Awuyi kukholwa wenza ngoku! " uhlobo lokuhlambalaza oluqhelekileyo lwenzeka kwi-tafile yokutya ngaphambi koMama kaSally.
Kuthekani Ukuba Usule Uthotyelwe Ngabantwana Bakho?
Masibe yinyani. Ungase ufunde oku kwaye ucinge, "Hayi, ndenze oko." Ngoku unethuba lokuxolisa. Iifoto zakho kufuneka zibone ukuba ungumntu kwaye uzimisele ukuzenza iimpazamo zakho. Ngoko nokuba unesidima sokuzisola okwenza kube nzima kakhulu ukuqala le ngxoxo, yenza ukuba kwenzeke. Ukuba uhlazisa esidlangalaleni umntwana wakho, kufuneka ufune ukuva uxolo kwaye uxhumane ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba akuyi kuphinda kwenzeke kwakhona. Oku kuya kuba nomphumo wokubuyiselwa kobudlelwane bakho ukuze ukwazi ukuqala ukuxhamla uxhumano lwakho njengesiphakamiso sakho esikhulu sokuthintela ukuziphatha komntwana wakho-kungabikho ukuhlazisa.
Amazwi ahlazo Abazali abangabodwa bamele baphephe
Abanye abazali abangabodwa banokubeka ingozi enkulu ekusebenziseni ukuhlazisa abantwana babo ngenxa yobundlobongela obuninzi behamba ngokuthetha nabo. Nalu uluhlu lwegama elihlazo kunye nemibandela oyifunayo ukuyiphepha:
- "Uyintombazana enjalo." Elimangalo alincedi umntwana wakho ukuba aqonde oko akwenzile kakubi okanye oko akufunayo ukutshintsha. Kwaye akusoloko ibinzana elifuna ukuba ungqongqo kwiingcinga zakhe kwiminyaka ezayo!
- "Ufana nonyoko (okanye utata)." Oku kunokuba yihlazo nje ngokuba "ungumzekelo wentombazana embi", ingakumbi ukuba umntwana wakho uyazi ukuba unentando eninzi kunye neengxabano kunye neyokuqala.
- "Andiyazi ukuba kutheni ndikhathazeka nawe." Khawucinge nje ukuba lo mntu uvakalelwa yintoni isikhashana. Uninzi lwexesha, eli liye lisetyenziswe ngaphandle kokukhungatheka. Ukuze ugweme ukuya kwindawo leyo kwindawo yokuqala, qwa lasela ngokuzinyamekela kwaye udwebe ixesha-xa ulifuna.
- "Ndimele ndikuthumele ukuba uhlale nobaba (okanye umama)?" Oku kufana neli binzana elingentla, kwaye akugcini nje ukudlulisela ukucaphukisa, kunciphisa igunya lakho lomzali. Utsho ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba awukho kwizinto ozikhethayo. Yaye ukuba uvakalelwa ngaloo ndlela, yima uze uthathe umoya. Emva koko uzungeze ngeenkqubo zakho zenkxaso kwaye usebenze ngamanyathelo akho alandelayo. Ukuba ngaba u-ex wakho ubandakanyekile, qiniseka ukuba umbandakanye naye kwingxoxo, naye, ngakumbi ukuba ukholelwa ukuba ukuziphatha komntwana wakho kunokumbeka engozini.
- "Ndikhathele kakhulu ukusebenzisana nawe." Yeka esi sivakalisi esithi "Ndidiniwe." Ikhefu. Emva koko thabatha ikhefu uze uphumule. Umbono omtsha unokukunceda ukujongana nayiphi na ingxaki ojongene nayo nomntwana wakho ngaphandle kokutshabalalisa ukuzithemba kwakhe okanye ubudlelwane bakho.
Indlela Yokukhuthaza Abantwana Bakho Ukuziphatha Ngaphandle Kwehlazo
Isixhobo esona sikhulu kakhulu esilunayo ekuthinteleleni ukuziphatha kwezingane zakho lulamano lwakho. Eyona nto, ufuna ukudala ibhondi eqinisa abantwana bakho ngengqiqo yokuba bangubani, ngelixa bebanika ithuba lokufunda kwiimpazamo zabo. Ngoko xa abantwana bakho bekhetha ukungakuthobeli, bathethe inxaxheba malunga nokukhetha kwabo kunye noko banokukwenza ngokuthe ngqo ngexesha elizayo. Nantsi imimiselo yamagama amahle kunye neengongoma ongazisebenzisa:
- "Ndingathanda ukuba undixelele oko kwenzeka." Thatha imizuzu embalwa ukuva umntwana wakho ngaphandle kokuba uphendule.
- "Yintoni evelele kuwe?" Nceda umntwana wakho achaze iimvakalelo ezihambelana neziganeko ezenzekayo. Ezi zibandakanya umsindo, ukwesaba, ukuzodwa, ukumangaliswa kunye nabanye.
- "Yintoni onokuyenza ngokuhlukileyo?" Lo mkhulu! Eyona nto, ufuna ukuba umntwana wakho azenzele igama okanye ezinye iindlela eziza kusebenza ngakumbi. Kulo mzuzwana, kubalulekile ukuba uqinisekise izimvo ezibe ziphumelele. Ingcamango kukuxhobisa umntwana wakho ngezicwangciso 'ngexesha elizayo' kunokuba uhlazise umntwana wakho ngokukhetha ezo zikhetho okokuqala ngqa.
- "Uza kwenza ntoni ngokuzayo?" Qinisa amandla wamagama omntwanakho ngokumnceda igama lakhe iqhinga eliphezulu.
- "Ndinganceda njani?" Le nto ihlala iphantsi, kodwa inamandla kakhulu! Nangona akukho nto enokuyenza, kuya kunceda umntwana wakho akuve ukuba wenze uncedo lokwenene lokuncedisa.