Ulwaphulo-mthetho lwasekhaya kunye nogonyamelo lunokuchaphazela nabani na
Ubundlobongela basekhaya bubundlobongela okanye ubungozi obundlobongela kumlingane othandana naye okanye ilungu lekhaya eliselula. Ingozi inokubandakanya udlame lomzimba, ukuhlaselwa ngokwesondo, okanye usongelo lomnye. Iintsholongwane zinokufumana udlame lwasekhaya ukusuka kulungu lentsapho okanye umntu omthandana naye.
Ubundlobongela basekhaya buvela kwiintsapho ezifumana umvuzo ophezulu, iintsapho ezinomvuzo ophantsi, ubudlelwane bezesini kunye nobudlelwane obuchanekileyo.
Amadoda nabasetyhini banokuphathwa kakubi, kwaye amadoda namabhinqa bangabaxhaphaza. Ubundlobongela basekhaya bungenzeka nakubani na.
Kubudlelwane obuhlukumezayo, kubakho umjikelezo wobundlobongela. Ngenxa yokuba umjikelezo uqikeleleka, kubalulekile ukuba umntwana wakho aqonde oko kufuneka akhangele kwaye akwazi ukubona umjikelezo. Ukuba umntwana wakho uyayibona le ndlela ebudlelwaneni bakhe, kukho uphawu lokuba ubudlelwane bubuhlungu.
Malunga neCandelo lokuSebenzisa kakubi
Umjikelo wokusetyenziswa gadalala ungabonakala uhlukile uma sithetha ngokusetyenziswa kakubi phakathi kwelungu lentsapho kunye nentsha, okanye inzala yothando kunye nentsha . Kwimeko yentsapho, umjikelo wokusetyenziswa gadalala uya kufana, kodwa kungenzeka ukuba uqhubeka ixesha elide, ukuba akukho "isiqalo." Umjikelo ungenzeka ngokukhawuleza (imizuzu okanye iiyure) ngoko kunzima ukubona izigaba.
Kwimeko yokuthandana okanye yokuthandana, kukho ixesha apho ubuhlobo buqala nje.
Kulo qalisa lolwalamano, iqabane lomtshato lingabonakala liphelele. Kukho ukuncoma, izipho, uthando, unokubonakala ngathi ungumntu omhle ukuba abe naye. Emva koko, ingxaki iqala.
Umjikelo
Qaphela: Lo mjikelo unokuvela kumfazi njengomxhaphazi kunye nendoda ephathwa kakubi, okanye phakathi kwamabhinqa amabini okanye amadoda amabini.
Izibhengezo ezisetyenzisiweyo zihamba ngokukhawuleza kokufunda, kungekhona kuba umjikelezo awukwazi ukuvela phakathi kwamanye amadoda.
Isigaba sokwakha intambo:
- Umxhaphazi uya kuqalisa ukuthukuthela aze akhethe ukulwa. Kungase kubonakale ngathi iimfazwe zingaphezu kwemiba encinci. Oku kunokukwenza umntwana ukuba azive ngathi kufuneka alumkele oko akuthethayo okanye akwenzileyo, kwaye kufuneka ukuba amkholise umxhaphazi ukuphepha ukulwa.
- Umxhaphazi unokuqala ukusebenzisa iziyobisi okanye utywala ngeli xesha okanye aphinde asebenzise isicatshulwa esikhethekileyo.
- Umxhaphazi uya kuba nomona ngobudlelwane obuselula kunye nokuqala ukunyanzelisa ukuba angathathi ixesha kunye nabanye abantu. Ekuqaleni, oku kunokuvakalelwa ngathi umxhaphazi "ungumkhuseli" endaweni yokulawula.
- Umxhaphazi unokuqala ukugxeka, ukuhlambalaza okanye ukuxhaphaza ngokwenene umntwana. Umxhaphazi unokuzama ukwenza umntwana ukuba abe neentloni, kwaye angathetha ngokuziphatha kwakhe okanye kwiimeko ezidlulileyo.
Inkxalabo / ukuqhuma:
- Ku xhatshazwa. Kungenzeka kube yindlobongela emzimbeni, ngexesha elivisayo le ntombazana, litshitshiswa, litshitshiswe, linyanzeliswe okanye lihlaselwe ngenye indlela. Inokusetyenziswa kakubi ngokwesondo, apho intombazana iyakuthintela ngokwesondo okanye iphoqelelwe ukwenza isenzo socansi nomxhaphazi. Ingabakho ukusetyenziswa kakubi ngomlomo okanye kwintlungu xa umntwana esongelwayo, ecatshulwa, esongelwa, okanye ehlaselwa ngetyala nangayiphi indlela eziva ehlaselayo. Izinto zingaphulwa, okanye izilwanyana zisetyenziselwa ukuyikrakra umntwana.
- Umntwana uvakalelwa ukwesaba, udidekile, okanye "ukutshitshiswa." Unokuzama ukuzikhusela okanye angazama ukuphuma kumxhaphazi. Unokuzama ukuphula ubuhlobo kunye nokuphepha umxhaphazi.
Isigaba seN Honeymoon:
- Umxhaphazi uxolo ngenxa yezenzo zakhe, kwaye unokuthembisa ukuba akayi kuphinda aphinde ayenze. Unokucela uxolo kodwa uxelele intombazana ngezenzo zakhe. Unokuphinde uxele kakubi ukuxhatshazwa, ukusetyenziswa kweziyobisi, utywala okanye ezinye izinto. Intombazana inokuziva ixanduva lokuqhuma nokuzigxeka. Kwakhona unokubona uxolo lwakhe njengokuzimisela ukutshintsha.
- Umxhaphazi unokungathenga izipho zentombazana, okanye ukumthabatha aze asebenzise imali kuye.
- Uya kuba nothando kunye nothando. Umntwana uya kugxila kula maxesha amahle njengesizathu sokuhlala xa ingxaki okanye ukuqhuma kwenzeka kwakhona.
- Unokuze ahambe ekucebiseni ukuba azame "ukuwusebenza" nentombazana. Unokubona oku njengamandla akhe okutshintsha "umxhaphazi ngokubhetele.
Umntwana osetshatshulweyo unokuva buhlungu, esongelwa kwaye aqhutywe ziganeko aze aphule ubuhlobo. Unokuvakalelwa ngathi le nkwenkwezi ngumqondiso wokuthi unokutshintsha. Ngaphandle kokuba aqaphele ukuba ubudlelwane buxhaphaza kwaye uyazi ukuba ufanelekile, unokubambelela kulo mjikelezo wobundlobongela nokuxhaphazwa.
Lo mjikelo ungakhange ukhangeleke ngokufanayo kwimeko nganye, kwaye ungabonakali ngokufanayo rhoqo. Kwezinye izidlelwane, lo mjikelo ungenzeka ngaphezu kweenyanga okanye kwiminyaka, mhlawumbi yenza kube nzima ukuqonda. Ngokuqhelekileyo, ubude obude buhlala, ngokuphindaphindiweyo lo mjikelezo uvela, kwaye umfutshane umjikelezo uba. Lo mjikelo ungenziwa ngemizuzu nje, ngokukodwa ukuba uxhatshazo luye lwaqhubeka ixesha elithile.
Oko Abazali Bakudinga Ukukwazi Ngethuba Lokudlobongela Kwabantwana
Ukuba ungumzali uqaphela lo mjikelezo ekhaya lakho okanye ekuthandaneni kwakho kwentombazana, kubalulekile ukuba ungenelele ngokukhawuleza. Xoxa ngale ngxaki kunye nentombazana yakho kwaye ubonise ukukhathazeka kwakho. Ingane yakho inokuziva ikhuselekile kwaye ingavumi ukubona oko kwenzekayo. Funa isiluleko somcebisi okanye intlangano yoluntu lwasekhaya. I-National Domestic Violence Hotline iza kukwazi ukukuthumela kwinkqubo yakho yasekuhlaleni. Ukuba ubundlobongela buba khona ekhaya okanye nelinye ilungu lentsapho, unokuqhagamshelana nomnxeba omnye okanye intlangano yobundlobongela basekhaya ukuze uncede. Ubundlobongela basekhaya ngaphakathi kwekhaya phakathi komzali nomntwana okanye abantakwabo okanye amanye amalungu omndeni, njengento enzulu njengobundlobongela obusandul 'ubutsha kunye neemfuno zokuqwalaselwa.
Imithombo:
Ngokuphathelele Ubundlobongela Basekhaya: Uhambo loLudlo. Inkqubo yoLwaphulo lwasekhaya lwaseMpumalanga. http://www.edvp.org/AboutDV/cycle.htm
Ulwaphulo-mthetho. Domesticviolence.org. http://domesticviolence.org/cycle-of-violence
Ikhasi lokuqala lasekhaya loLutsha lwaseKhaya. http://www.thehotline.org/
Uluhlu lwezoBundlobongela. Ukwaphula i-Cycle. http://www.thesafespace.org/