Umntwana wakho usenokwenzeka njani ukusabela kwizinto okanye kwiimeko? Ingaba unako ukuphaphama kunye neentloni okanye ukwesibindi okanye ukwesaba? Ngaba akayithandi imimandla ephakamileyo neyakhayo, njengemicimbi yokuzalwa yomntwana okanye ingumntu othanda ukuhamba ngokuthe tye?
Isimiselo sichazwa njengamalungu ebuntwini bethu, njengokuba siphuma okanye sinamahloni, esizalelwe ngawo.
Umntwana ngamnye uzalwa ngendlela yakhe yokuphendula okanye ukuphatha ihlabathi elikuzungezile elingenangqondo, kunokufunda okanye into ayithandayo. Kwaye ke, isimo sengqondo somntwana sichaphazela indlela ahlangabezana ngayo neemeko (umzekelo, umntwana onamahloni kwaye engathandeki ingxolo, ukuzonwabisa, kunye neemeko ezintsha ziya kuba namava ahluke kakhulu kumcimbi wokuzalwa wengane kunomntwana owela ngaphakathi kwaye aqale ukudlala imidlalo kunye nokunye nabanye abantwana).
Iimpawu Zomntwana Oqhelekileyo
Nazi iimeko eziqhelekileyo zobungqina bomntwana ezichazwe ngamagqirha uAlexander Thomas, uStella Chess, noHerbert G. Birch.
Inqanaba lomsebenzi: Izinga lokusebenza komntwana ngokomzimba - ukuhamba, ukugijima, ukuxumla, njalonjalo - xa kuthelekiswa nexesha elingasebenziyo xa ehleli eqhuba umsebenzi.
- Izinga eliphezulu lomsebenzi: Abantwana abanezinga eliphezulu lomsebenzi bavame ukuxhamla kunye nokungafuni ukuhlala behleli.
- Izinga lomsebenzi ophantsi: Izingane ezinomgangatho omncinci womsebenzi zithanda ukuthula, imisebenzi ezolile.
Isiqhelo: Ukuqheleka kwemisebenzi efana nokutya, ukulala nokuvuka.
- Umgangatho ophezulu: Abantwana babonakalisa ukutya kunye nokuqikelelwa okuqhelekileyo, iipatheni zokulala.
- Isiqhelo esiphantsi: Abantwana babonisa ukutya okungaqhelekanga, iipatheni zokulala.
Ukungahambi kakuhle: Iqondo apho i-stimuli yangaphandle (izandi, iindwendwe, njl njl njl.) Inokuchaphazela ukuxinwa nokuziphatha komntwana.
- Ukuphazamiseka okuphezulu: Abantwana banokuphazamiseka lula ngomsindo kunye nezinto abazibonayo; banenkxalabo yokugxila; wayephazamiseka gqitha nayiphi na into engathandekiyo njengokuba yilamba.
- Ukuphazamiseka okuphantsi: Abantwana banako ukugxila kumsebenzi ngaphandle kokuphazamiseka kalula; akukhathazeki ngento encinci.
Indlela / Ukurhoxiswa: Impendulo kumntu omtsha okanye into enjengeemathoyizi ezintsha, ukutya okutsha, njl njl.
- Ukufikeleleka okuphezulu: La bantwana bayamkela ngentshiseko kwaye bahamba kwiimeko ezintsha nabantu.
- Ukungeneka okuphantsi: Ezi ntwana azithandi abantu abatsha nabantu abangaqhelekanga, indawo kunye nezinto.
Ukulungelelaniswa: Indlela umntwana ephendula ngayo utshintsho kwimeko yakhe.
- Ukuzilungelelanisa okuphezulu: Abantwana baphatha isishwantsho ngokukhawuleza kwaye bazivumelanisa ngokukhawuleza utshintsho kwiimeko.
- Ukulungelelaniswa okuphantsi: Izingane zidinga ixesha elide lokusingatha ukuguquka kwaye ziyakwazi ukukhala nokunamathela kumama, utata okanye umkhathaleli xa ubhekene nesimo esitsha.
Ukuqwalaselwa kunye nokuphikelela: Isixa ixesha umntwana azinikela kulo msebenzi kwaye iziphazamiso zithintela njani kulo msebenzi.
- Ingqwalasela ephakamileyo kunye nokuphikelela: Ezi ntwana azidibanga okanye zikhungatheke nangona kukho imingcipheko; baqhubeka bezama.
- Ukuqwalaselwa okufutshane kunye nokuphikelela: Ezi ntsana ziyeka xa zijongene nomqobo kwaye zikhungatheke lula.
Ubungakanani bokuphendula: Ubungakanani bamandla omntwana buchitha kokubili okulungileyo kunye nokungalunganga.
- Ubungqina obuphezulu bokuphendula: Abantwana abaneempembelelo eziphezulu kakhulu bahlala benempembelelo enamandla kakhulu - kokubili okuhle nokubi - kwizinto.
- Ubunzima bokuphendula: Abantwana abaneempembelelo ezincinci bavame ukuba bathuthumele, bangaphantsi kwemizwa.
Impendulo yokumisela: Kubaluleke kangakanani ukuvuselela umntwana ukuba aphendule; uvelwano lomntwana kwi-stimuli ezifana nesandi, ukukhanya kunye nemifanekiso.
Impendulo ephezulu yokuphendula: Ezi ntwana zivame ukuba zithintela izandi, ukuthanda, ukucofa, ukuthintela, njalo njalo; bavame ukuba ngabadla ukutya kwaye banokuba ngabahlobo benqanawa abafuni ukunxiba nantoni na bacinga ukuba bazizwa "beqhenqileyo," nangona abantu abaninzi bebengayi kuziva loo nto.
Ukuphendula okuphantsi: Ezi ntwana azikhathaleli utshintsho kwiimpawu, izinto kunye neentlobo, kwaye ziya kuvuleka ukuzama ukutya okutsha; abaxhatshazi kwiindawo ezizungezekileyo kwaye banokulala ngokulula naphi na.
Imoya: Inqanaba lobubele, oluhle , nolonwabileyo xa lifaniswa nokungaxhatshazi, ukuziphatha okubi, ukungathandeki.
Isimo sengqondo esihle: Abantwana abanesimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo bavame ukuvuya, banomdla, kwaye banobungane.
Imvakalelo engcolileyo: Abantwana abanesimo sengqondo esichukumisayo ekungabikho okubi, bathambekele ekukhankeni, bengabuthandabuzi, kwaye baninzi ukukhala.
Indlela Abazali Basenokusebenza Ngayo Impawu Yomntwana
Ukuze uncedise kakuhle, umntwana wakho kwaye usebenze ngesimo sakhe sengqondo, zama oku kulandelayo.
- Ungazami ukuphoqa umntwana wakho ukuba abe into engekho. Ukuba umntwana wakho unamathele emlenzeni wakho ekuqaleni kwesikolo okanye kwiqela lokuzalwa lokufunda naye, ungazami ukumtyhola ukuba abe njengenye enye intsha enika abazali bayo. Ngeke kusebenze, unokuziva udidekile, kwaye umntwana wakho uya kuziva enetyala.
- Khuthaza-kwaye ukhuthaze kwakhona. Ungayeki ukuzama ukwenza umntwana wakho azame into echasene nendalo yakhe xa uvakalelwa kukuba kuya kuba kuhle kuye (njengokuzama ukutya okutsha okanye ukujoyina abantwana kwiphathi).
- Musa ukuzibandakanya. Zama ukungathi kumntwana wakho izinto ezifana, "Umntakwenu akenzi oko," okanye "Umhlobo wakho akafani nale nto." Abantwana ngabanye, abaneempawu ezahlukeneyo kunye nokuthandwa kwabo. Umsebenzi wethu ngumzali kumntwana, kungekhona ukwenza bonke abantwana bafana.
- Beka kwi-spin emihle. Ebomini, kwenza ukubahluko omkhulu ngendlela esondela ngayo kwizinto. Kanye nje ngendlela umntwana wakho asondela ngayo kwaye aphendule kwiimeko zenza umehluko kwindlela afumana ngayo into ethile, indlela obona ngayo umntwana wakho inokuchaphazela ukuphendula kwakho. Ukuba unomntwana ovame ukuba neengxaki xa izinto zingahambi ngendlela afuna ngayo, sebenzisana naye ukumnceda ukuvakalisa iimvakalelo zakhe ngendlela ezolile kunye neentlonelo, ngaphandle kwezinyembezi kunye neentlungu. Kodwa musa ukumenza azive ngathi akafanele akhulume okanye angabi nantembelo malunga noko akufunayo. Cinga ngomntwana wakho kwaye uchaze umntwana wakho kwabanye njengomntu oqiniseke kakhulu ngezinto afunayo kunye nezinto azithandayo kwaye akesabi ukuvakalisa izimvo zakhe.
- Cinga ngendlela ubuntu bakho okanye amava akho ayenzela ngayo umbala wakho ukusabela kumntwana wakho. Ukuba umntwana wakho unamahloni kwaye uzifumanisa, cinga ngezinto ezinokubangela ukuba uzive ngale ndlela. Ingaba ngaba ungumntwana oyintloni kwaye uyayithiya ingcamango yomntwana wakho elandelayo kwiinyawo zakho? Okanye ngaba uhlala ukhaliphe kwaye uphuma kwaye ungenaloyika kwaye ngoko uziva udidekile ukuba umntwana wakho uhluke ngendlela oye wayifana nayo? Cinga ngento ebangela ukuphendula kwakho uze uzame ukukhumbula ukuba umntwana wakho ungumntu kunye nesimo sakhe sengqondo kunye neendlela zakhe, kungekhona ikopi yakho.
- Zama ukukhumbula ukuba ixeshana kangakanani. Unokuba ukhathazeka ukuba umntwana wakho uya kuhlala ekho ngale ndlela (ukuba uya kugxuma ezintweni ngaphandle kokukhangela okanye okuchaseneyo - ukuba akayi kuyeka ukuhamba emlenzeni wakho); kodwa inyaniso, bantwana, khula kwaye utshintshe. Ngenkxaso yakho, uthando, ukukhuthazwa, kunye nokunyaniseka (kodwa kungagxeki), umntwana wakho unokuhamba ngokubanzi ukuya kwiphakathi kwindlela ezininzi kwaye ufumane ibhalansi njengoko ekhula.