Ulwalamano-onyana nobazali lunokuba nzima. Ootata kunye noonyana abaneminqweno eyahlukileyo kakhulu banokufumana kunzima ukuxhatana. Ngamanye amaxesha ootata nabantwana baziva bekhuphisana. Ngamanye amaxesha ukuthambekela kwabo kwindoda yokungathethi imiyalezo kubandakanyeka njengoko bobabini bafuna ulwalamano olungcono kunyana-ntata kodwa akekho owaziyo ukuba ahambe ngayo.
Njengoko ndibukele ubudlelwane bam kunye noonyana bam, ndicinga ngolwalamano lwam nobawo, ndazibonela ootata noonyana abaninzi bebambisana kunye neminyaka, ndiye ndafumanisa izinto ezibalulekileyo zokudala nokwakha ulwalamano olusisigxina-uyise .
Ukwakha Ubuhlobo Obunzulu NoNyana Wakho
1. Qaphela ukuba oonyana bashukunyiswa nguyise. Enoba siyazi okanye cha, oonyana bethu bafunda ngokuba ngumntu ngokubheka ooyise. Impembelelo kabawo ekuphuhlisweni komntwana wakhe kaninzi ayibonakaliyo kodwa ayinyani. Njengoko umfana ebukele uyise esebenzisana nonina, ufunda malunga nentlonipho (okanye ukungahloniphi), malunga nendlela amadoda kunye nabasetyhini abadibene ngayo kunye nendlela amadoda afanele ajongane ngayo neengxabano kunye nokwahlukana. Njengoko ejonge uyise ekudibanisaneni namanye amadoda, uya kufunda indlela amadoda athetha ngayo, indlela adibana ngayo kunye nendlela abajongana ngayo nemiba yabantu.
Ukuqonda ukuba impembelelo kabawo kwindodana yakhe ayinakulinganiswa kuya kunceda ubaba acinge ngokucace ngakumbi ngobudlelwane bakhe nendodana yakhe kwaye athathe olo budlelwane ngokugqithiseleyo.
2. Ukuphuhlisa umdla oqhelekileyo. Esi sifundo esiyifundile kum ubawo. Ubaba wayenomthetho wokuthotyelwa komthetho ngexesha lokukhula kwam iminyaka kwaye wenza umsebenzi omkhulu wokutshintsha.
Utata wayeyindoda yendoda ngeendlela ezininzi. Wadlala imidlalo emininzi kwaye wayenandipha ixesha kunye nabahlobo bakhe (into encinane ayenaye ngaphandle kwayo emsebenzini). Ndandingaphezulu kwincwadana yeebhugi, ndandinganyanga ukukhula kwaye ndithiyile ukudlala imidlalo kunye nemfundo yempilo esikolweni. Usebenze nzima ukwenza ukuba ndibathande njengezemidlalo kwaye wandichukumisa kwizinto ezinjenge-Little League baseball, kodwa ndingathanda ukuhlala phantsi komthi wokufunda. Kodwa into enye esazithanda ngayo yayisentampu, kwaye safumana inqobo yesiqhelo kwimithi eyenza intente okanye ukupheka ngomlilo. Xa saqala ukwandisa ixesha lethu ndawonye ngaphandle kwaye sichitha ixesha kunye senza into esasiyithanda ngayo, ubuhlobo bethu bukhula.
3. Musa ukwesaba umdlalo omncinci. Abafana bam, ngokukodwa xa bebancinci, bathanda nantoni na eyayiyisebenzayo kwaye ibuhlungu. Ukubambana encinane kwirejista kubonakala kuhamba ngendlela ende. Kubonakala ngathi kumakhwenkwe, le nto encinane yokuziphatha kwezilwanyana yinto ehlangeneyo. Kufuneka uzigcine ukhuselekileyo, kodwa ungathatha ingozi encinane kwaye ibalwe ukuba ubanikeze amava angaphezulu. Kamva ebomini, oku kungaguqulela kwimisebenzi efana nokukhwela kwerwala, ukukhwela i-skateboarding kunye ne-hockey ye-ice.
4. Bandakanyeka kwimisebenzi yonyana oyise. Kwintsapho yethu, ndazifumana ndandisondeza kubantwana bam njengoko sasinandipha umfana.
Sakha, sihambe, sisebenza kwiimfakeji kunye nokuqhubela phambili kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo sithande ukuhlala kunye. Ndingu-scoutmaster kubantwana bam abancinci abancinci kwaye ngoko sinexesha elimgangatho kunye nabo kunye nabahlobo bethu kunye neveki kunye neveki enye ngenyanga. Cinga ukubhalisa unyana wakho njengomfana we-Boy Scout uze ubandakanyeke njengomvolontiya omdala. La mava ahlelwe adala amathuba okukhula.
5. Thatha iprojekthi enkulu. Kukho into emilingo kwinkwenkwe malunga nokubandakanyeka kwinto ephakamileyo kunaye. Esi sizathu esinye ndivuyela ukusebenza kunye noonyana bam kwiiprojekthi ze-Eagle Scout.
Kodwa ezi ziprojekthi ezinkulu, ezibonakalayo zinokunceda ngokwenene ubaba kunye nendodana. Kuba utata kunye nam, kwakungokwakhiwa kweenjini ezimbalwa kunye nokubeka izithuthi. Abanye ootata kunye noonyana bakhela iibhokisi zeeplani, ukuma umhlaba ngasemva, ukwakha ikhefu yekhefu okanye ukukhwela kwiholide enkulu enkulu ehlobo. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba yintoni, inkulu kuneprojekthi eyenziwe ndawonye ingenza ibhondi eya kuhlala ixesha elide kwaye yenza imemori oya kuthetha ngayo kunye emashumi eminyaka.
6. Phu laphula oonyana bakho. Amadoda abonakala ngokubanzi ukulwa nomnxibelelwano osebenzayo . Ndifumanisa ukuba ndihlala ndiba nomdla wokuphulaphula nje ngomzuzu okanye ezimbini ngaphambi kokuba ndigqibe ukuba yintoni ingxaki kwaye ndihamba ngokudala ukulungiswa. Ukuqala ukususela kwiminyaka yokuqala yoonyana bethu ukuphulaphula ngaphandle kokugweba kwaye ngaphandle kokuzama ukulungisa izinto kungekudala kuya kuhamba indlela ende yokwakha ubudlelwane obuhlala. Khangela amathuba okuba noonyana bakho xa unokuphulaphula. Ukuloba kunye, ukuya kumcimbi wezemidlalo, okanye ukuthatha uhambo lweendlela kungabakho iindlela ezifanelekileyo zokudala indawo yokulalela. Emva koko uzinike ukuchitha kuphela i-25% yexesha ukuthetha kwaye uchithe abanye ekusebenziseni imilayezo esebenzayo.
7. Musa ukwesaba intetho enkulu. Thatha ixesha lokufundisa oonyana bakho malunga nobulili kunye nobudlelwane. Ukuba uvulekile ukuba nale ngxoxo kuya kunceda oonyana bakho bakhule isimo sengqondo esilungileyo malunga nesondo kunye namantombazana ngokubanzi. Ngenxa yokwanda kokuya kwesondo kwi-media, kwikhompyutheni nakwiingxoxo kunye nabahlobo babo, uya kufumana ulwalamano lwakho aluqineli kangangoko lunokuba lukhusela ukuthetha ngezi ngxaki ezinzima kwaye ubavumele ukuba bahlakulele isimo sengqondo ngesini kunye nolwalamano oluvela kwezinye iindawo ezingabandakanyeli kwiimpawu zakho.
8. Gxininisa kwiziphumo. Abantwana bethu bahlaselwa ngemilayezo engeyiyo yonke indawo. Ukujonga nje ukurhweba kumabonwakude kuza kwenza umlinganiselo wokungafaneleki kubantwana bethu. Mhlawumbi abanamandla, abanako ukufumana i-pack ye-abs okanye ukujonga kakuhle njengabafana ababonayo kumabonwakude. Njengabawo, kufuneka sibabambe benze izinto ngokufanelekileyo kwaye banxibelelanise imvume yethu . Sifanele sibe neendlela ezilungileyo zokubhiyozela ukufezekiswa kwazo. Ukuncedisa ukuqiniswa rhoqo kuya kunceda ukwakha ubudlelwane bokuthembela kwaye banqobe le nkqubela ye-negativism ehlala nayo yonke imihla.
9. Yenza enye ngexesha elinye. Simele senze ixesha lobudlelwane ngabanye nomntwana ngamnye. Ngoko qiniseka ukuba uhlela omnye ngexesha kunye noonyana bakho. Unyana wam omncinci uthanda ibhola yebhoksi, kwaye sichitha iiyure ezininzi ukudubula iipopu kwinqanawa emva kokuhlwa. Indodana endala yamthanda ingxoxo esikolweni esiphakeme , ngoko ndafunda ngokwaneleyo ukuba ndibe ngumgwebi wempikiswano kwaye ndahamba naye ndithetha kwaye ndaphikisana neembambano kwilizwe lonke. Ezinye zeenkumbulo zethu ezilungileyo zihleli ndawonye ndawonye kwisikolo esiphakeme okanye kwibhasi eya kwiindibano zeengxoxo.
10. Gxininisa ngokomoya. Ukuncedisa unyana ukusekelwe ngokomoya yendima ebalulekileyo kuyise. Naluphi na isithethe sakho sokholo, ncedisa unyana wakho ukuba aqonde intsingiselo ebomini yobomi. Ukuba ungenalo inkolelo yokholo, ncedise ukuba afikelele ngaphakathi kwakhe kwaye azame ukuba nombono oza kumnceda ukuba abukele izinto ezinzulu kunokuba ngaphezulu. Njengoko umfana eqala ukudibanisa nendalo, uThixo kunye naye, uya kuba nomzekelo ebomini bakhe oya kumnceda akhuthazelele ubunzima aze aphumelele. Ootata bangaba neengxoxo kunye noonyana babo ngendlela engokwemvelo njengoko babelana ngengcamango neemvakalelo malunga nobomi, ububuntu kunye nezinto zokomoya.
Ukugxininisa kubantwana bethu, ukuchitha ixesha elifanelekileyo kunye nokuthetha ngezifundo zobomi, abahlakazekile ngeqondo elikhulu lokuphulaphula nokuphulaphula , kuya kunceda obawo noonyana bahlakulele ubudlelwane obunokubaluleka kunye nokunceda kunye noonyana bethu babe nesimo sengqondo esiya kubavumela ukuba babe ngabantu ngongoma ogqithiseleyo wale gama.