I-Smart, iindlela ezifanelekileyo zokumisa ukuziphatha kwezigulana kubantwana
Enye yeengxaki zokuziphatha zabantwana yindlela yokuyeka ukugcoba kubantwana . Njengeminwe kwibhodibhodi, ukucwina ngenye yezo zandi ezithi ziqwalasele ngokukhawuleza-kwaye zidibanise iintsholongwane zakho. (Uphando luye lwangqina ukuba ukucocwa ngenye yezandi eziphazamisayo ziyaziwa ngumntu-into ethile abazali abayayazi kwivavanyo lokuqala!) Mhlawumbi yintoni eyenza abantwana babonakale becwangciswe ngokwemizimba ukuze bakwazi ukukwenza ngokwemvelo njengeentlanzi bazi indlela ukuqubha.
Iindaba ezilungileyo kukuba abazali banokuchaphazela ngokuqinisekileyo ukuziphatha okunzima. Indlela esabela ngayo xa sitsho kubantwana kunye noko sithethayo ukulungiswa kwezingane zethu zingenza umehluko omkhulu nokuba ngaba bayayifumene nelizwi lesandi xa bengenakuvuyela into ethile.
Kufanelekile ukugcina engqondweni ukuba ukugquma kuya kuba nzima kakhulu xa abantwana bekhula . Akunqabile ukubona umntu ohlala esikolweni osemdala ukuba ahlambele, ikakhulukazi xa abazali behlala behlala bethetha umyalezo kumntwana ongeke axoxwe okanye indlela efanelekileyo yokuziveza. Nazi ezinye iindlela onokuzithatha ngoku ukucima ukugcoba kumntwana wakho.
Izicwangciso ze-Smart zokumisa i-Whining kubantwana
- Lungisa indlela ojonga ngayo ukumhlophe. Abazali kufuneka baqonde ukuba abantwana abayisebenzisi ukukhenkcela ukuba baqhube ngamabomu. Benza ukubonisa ukukhungatheka kwabo okanye ngenxa yokuba bafuna ukuva. Xa abantwana bevakalisa iimfuno zabo baze bafune, ngokwenene inxalenye eqhelekileyo yophuhliso kwaye yinto entle.
- Khawuqwalasele oko kunokubangela ukuziphatha. Ingaba umntwana wakho ukhawuleza xa enomhla oxakekileyo? Okanye xa elambile okanye ediniwe okanye engazange abe nexesha elaneleyo nawe? Okanye ngaba kukho utshintsho ebomini bakhe kwinqanaba elikhulu, njengowomntakwethu omtsha okanye ingxaki ekhaya okanye esikolweni? Emva koko qwalasela ezinye iinguqulelo kwiindlela zakhe ezinokukunceda ukucima ukucwina kunye nezinye izinto ezingalunganga . Zama ukuchitha ixesha kunye nomntanakho nje ukuxhoma kunye nokufunda, ukugibela ibhayisikili okanye ukupheka kunye.
- Biza ukucoca. Umntwana wakho akanako ukuqonda ukuba uyamhlophe (oku kunjalo ngokukodwa kubantwana abancinci). Memezele ingqalelo ekuziphatheni kwakhe ngokubonakalisa oko akuvakalayo. Ungasebenzisa amahlaya apha uze uthi into efana nale nto, "Yintoni eya kuba ngathi xa abantu abadala behamba bejikeleza ngezinye izinto abazange bafune ukuzenza, ezifana nokunyuka emsebenzini xa bekhathele okanye bahlambulula indlu?" Bese ubonise umntwana wakho ukuba ukubethelwa komsindo kukuthandi. Kodwa qaphela ukuba ungamhlekisi ngaye-iphuzu lokumbonisa oko akuvelayo, kungekhona ukuhlekisa iimvakalelo zakhe.
- Yenza kucacise ukuba ukucoca akuvumelekanga. Umntwana wakho uyazi ukuba ukugcoba akufanele kusetyenziswe ukuzithetha. Kanye njengoko ufundise umntwana wakho xa wayemncinci ukuba ayengamkelekanga ukutshitshiswa xa engazange ahambe ngendlela yakhe, unako ukucaca kumntwana wakho ngoku ukuba ukugcoba kungamnandi kwaye akusayi kumfumana oko akufunayo. Mxelele ngokucacileyo nangokuzithoba ukuba awuyi kuphulaphula into ayithethayo ade akwazi ukuthetha oko akufunayo ngezwi eliqhelekileyo lezwi.
- Musa ukukuvumela ukuba ukhangele. Faka isicelo se- Zen uqeqesho olufutshane apha kwaye uhlale uphelile xa umntwana wakho eqala ukugcoba. Khumbula xa umntwana wakho ebancinci kwaye wawa, kwaye ubuya kubukela indlela ophendule ngayo ukugqiba ukuba ufanelekile kangakanani? Umgaqo ofanayo usebenza apha. Ukuba umntwana wakho ubona uchaphazelekayo ngokugcoba-kwaye kunzima nakakhulu, ukunikezela oko akufunayo xa ecula-ke uya kuthatha ingqalelo yakhe kwimpendulo yakho.
- Unganikeli. Ngaba kuya kuba lula ukunika umntwana wakho ipakethe ye-candy okanye umdlalo onqwenelayo ukuyeka ukucwina? Ewe. Kodwa kuya kuba yiphutha elichanekileyo kwaye kuya kuba yindlela eqinisekileyo yomlilo yokukhuthaza umntwana wakho ukuba asebenze kwakhona xa efuna into ethile.
- Yiba njalo. Ukungahambisani nenye yezoqeqesho eziqhelekileyo abazali abazenzayo. Musa ukunyanzelisa umyalelo othi "akukho mhlophe" kwimeko enye uze unikele kwenye. Xa ungahambelani, uhlalutya umyalezo othi ukugcoba akufanele kusetyenziswe kwaye yinto ongeke uyinyamezele.