Ubudlelwane obunempilo kunye nawo onke amalungu omtshato aya kuhlawula iingcamango ezicebileyo
Umama-mkhwenkwe ube ngumthwalo wezigidi zamahlaya, kodwa akuyikho ihlazo lokuba umama-mkhwenkwe omuhle unenkohliso. Sekunjalo, indima kamama-mkhwenkwe ngowona obaluleke kakhulu ekuqinisekiseni iintsapho zentsapho eziphilileyo. Ukuba ufuna ukuba ngumakhulu omhle, kufuneka uqale ufunde indlela yokuba ngumkhwekazi omuhle, njengoko olu dlelwane lunokubeka ithowuni kwendima kagogo.
Ubuhlobo bomama-mkhwe buza kwiintlobo ezimbini ezisisiseko: Umama-mkhwenkwe / umkhwekazi, apho umntwana we-biological yindodana, nomama-mkhwenyana / umkhwenyana, apho i-biological umntwana uyintombi. Amanqweno omama-mkhwenkwe amaninzi avela ebuhlotsheni bobabini: Umculi wesilisa ngumntu owenza amahlaya malunga noninazala.
Okuthakazelisayo kukuba yenye enye iindidi - ukudibanisa noninazala kunye nentombi-mkhwenkwe-ojongene nobuninzi bobukhulu bomama-mkhwenkwe. Yiyo isiphelo esifikelelwe nguDkt. Apter Apter, umbhali wenene ufuna ntoni kum ?: Ukufunda ukuhambelana nemithetho kamasipala . Ngokutsho kwinqaku elikwiphepha le-Time, uphando luka-Apter lufumene ukuba i-60% yeentombi-mkhwenkwe zixelile ubudlelwane obunzima kunye noninazala, ngokuchasene ne-15% kuphela yoonyana baka-mkhwenkwe.
Kutheni Ucinga Kangako?
Ubudlelwane phakathi komama nomfazi wendodana yakhe kuzaliswe ukuxhatshazwa kuba kubangela ukhuphiswano lwendalo.
"Ngamnye ngumfazi oyintloko kwiintsapho zakhe zokuqala," u-Apter ubhala. Ukongezelela, kungakhathaliseki ukuba zininzi izihlandlo ezitshintshileyo, abafazi basenabo ngokukodwa abajongene nokunyamekelwa kwabantwana , imisebenzi yasekhaya kunye neminye imiba yasekhaya. Abafazi be-egos bavame ukuxutywa kule mi sebenzi, kwaye bayagxekwa ngokugqithiseleyo, nokuba ngaba ukugxekwa kukugqithiseleyo okanye kuthethwa nje.
Ukongezelela, ezininzi iingcali zikholelwa ukuba abafazi banembile kwaye banesihawu kunamadoda. Baya kuthatha ukuziphatha kakubi ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba abesilisa kwintsapho bangaphuthelwa ngokupheleleyo. Oko kuchaza ukuba kutheni umfazi angathukuthela umyeni wakhe ngenxa yokungamthandi. Le ndoda ingenakuvuyisa ukuba umfazi uhlaselwa.
Umama onyanisekileyo
Umgaqo oyintloko womama-mkhwenkwe ofuna ukuhambelana nomalokazana "Gwema ukugxeka." Ungamgxeka umalokazana wakho ebusweni bakhe. Ungamgxothi kumntwana wakho okanye nakwinkampani yabahlobo. Musa ukwenza ngendlela ethumela imiyalezo ebalulekileyo, njengalezi zilandelayo:
- Musa ukuhlambulula indlu yakhe. Ingqiqo: Ungumgcini wendlu ombi.
- Musa ukunika iingcebiso ezingaceliyo. Ingqalelo: Awuwenzi izigqibo ezilungileyo.
- Unganikeli izipho ezithumela umyalezo ongathandekiyo, njengeencwadi zokuncedisa okanye ukujoyina ubungqina: Ukuthetha: Awamkelekanga njengokuba unjalo.
Omnye umdlalo kamama-mkhwenkwe-mkhwenkwe akufanele adlale ukunikela ngokugxeka ngokugqithiseleyo njengendumiso. Umama-mkhwenkwe odumisa umkhwenkwe-mkhwenkwe womyeni xa ecinga ukuba intombi-mkhwenkwe yi-slob ayikhohlisi mntu.
Umama kaMasipala
Ingxabano enkulu phakathi komama-mkhwenkwe kunye nentombi-mkhwenkwe ivela kulo: Unina wayengowesifazane obaluleke kakhulu ebomini bendodana yakhe.
Ngoku umfazi. Oku kunjalo njengoko kufanelekile, kodwa oomama abaninzi banenkinga, ngakumbi ukuba ngaba bafelokazi okanye baqhawule umtshato, okanye ukuba abanalo ubudlelwane obusondeleyo nabanye abantwana. Oomama bafanele bahambe ubude obukhulu ukuphepha ukwenza unyana ukhethe phakathi kwakhe nomfazi wakhe, kwimiba encinci. Yimfazwe engenakunqobela.
Umama kaMncedi oNcedo
Uninzi loomama-mkhwenkwe banceda abancedisayo. Babolekisa imali, bahamba ngeendlela kunye nokuncedisa imisebenzi. Lo ngumkhwekazi ohlala ephethe isidlo esiphekwe ekhaya, isikhwama esigcwele ukutya okanye isipho sendlu. Uncedo lunokubongwa ekuqaleni, ngakumbi ukuba le sibini sincinci.
Kodwa ekugqibeleni, olu hlobo lomama-mkhwenkwe luya kuba yinjongo yokuhlaziya, njengoko eso sibini siqonda ukuba asikho nje kuphela abanako ukuzinyamekela kodwa nokuba bafuna ukwenza oko. Ngaloo ndlela ukuziphatha komama-mkhwenkwe kunokuba kunqunywe ukuba akukho nto ifutshane ne-rift ephawulekayo iya kuyitshintsha. Akukho mntu ufuna ukuba isibini esitshatileyo sihlupheke okanye sihambe ngaphandle, kodwa ekungabikho kwemfuno yangempela, oomama mabavumele ukuba bazinyame.
Ukunika iingcebiso ngenye indlela yokwenza uncedo onokubuyisela. Ngokuqhelekileyo, abo bafuna isiluleko bacele. Ukuba ngumdala kwaye kunokwenzeka ukuba ubulumko akayi kunika umkhwekazi ilayisenisi yokunikezela ngcebiso engacelanga.
Umama kaMasipala
I-Pushy yinto ekhohlisayo kwimeko ethile yomamazala, uhlobo olungaboni imida. Ngamanye amaxesha umama-mkhwenkwe unqabileyo. Ngamanye amaxesha uhlala ethule kwaye engahloniphi, kodwa uqhubeka ebonisa ngaphandle kokumenywa. Nazi iindlela umama-mkhwenkwe anokuphepha iingxabano kwimida :
- Ukuba unikwe isitshixo kwikhaya lomntwana omdala, lisebenzise kuphela xa kucelwa ukuba wenze njalo okanye xa kwenzeka imeko yongxamiseko.
- Ungayeki ngaphandle kokubiza, kwaye unike isaziso esaneleyo.
- Ungacingi ukuba uya kumenywa kunye nohambo kunye neeholide, kwaye ungalindelanga ukumenywa kuwo onke amaqela kunye nentlalo.
- Xa umalokazana wakho ukhulelwe, qaphela ukuba ungeke wamukeleke kwigumbi lokunikezela okanye igumbi lokubhinqa . Ngamanye amaxesha ootatomkhulu abanamenywa esibhedlele , njengoko abazali abancinane bafuna ixesha lokubambisana. Njengoko kunzima ukuba eso sigqibo sinokuba ugogo ukuba bamkele, ngaba ngabazali abatsha.
Xa oomama-mkhwenkwe bebagogo
Xa umama-mkhwenkwe uba ngakhulu, ukugcina ubudlelwane obuhle kubaluleke ngakumbi, njengokuba abantwana ngoku bangenelela kubazukulwana. Oogogo nomkhulu oye bahlakulela ngokukhawuleza ubudlelwane bobuhlobo baya kuzuza iinzuzo zamalungu entsapho athembekileyo. Abo bavuselele ukungquzulana kwintsapho kunokuba bafumane ukuba bancedise umtshato wabo wesahlulo somtshato. Okubi nakakhulu, ootatomkhulu ophakamisa imbambano endaweni yokudibana bavame ukuba bahlukane nabazukulwana babo, enye yezona zimo zibuhlungu kakhulu.
Nangona kubalulekile ukuba kungabikho ukuxabana, kukho ingozi yokuba umamazala nomalokazana ohlala rhoqo kuma-eggshell azungeze omnye nomnye abayi kuphuhlisa ubuhlobo bokwenene. Ngaphandle koko kubiza ngokuthi "ukuzincama" kwaye uxwayise ukuba akuyi kubuyisa "intshisekelo yokutshatyalaliswa komyeni." Kubalulekile ukuba umamazala avumele ubuntu bakhe bubonise.
Umama-mkhwenkwe kufuneka kwakhona akhumbule umthetho wokuqala wokuthetha nabantwana abadala: Izibophelelo zentsapho azikho isizathu sokunyaniseka. Yiphathe umkhwezana ngendlela enokuyiphatha ngayo nawuphi na umntu omncinci onokuthanda ukumakhela ulwalamano, kwaye impumelelo iyakulandela.