Kukho intetho eninzi kwiminyaka embalwa edlulileyo malunga nokuba ngaba abantwana banamhlanje banokuzithemba . Abanye abantu bathi abazali abanako ukunika abantwana ithuba lokuzixabisa ngenxa yokuba ihlabathi elinzima liza kwenza inxalenye yabo ukudiliza abantwana phantsi. Abahlukumezi , ootitshala abanobuchule , abaqeqeshi be-throat-throat, kunye nabaphathi bexesha elizayo baya kuqinisekisa ukuba umntwana wakho akafumani i-ego engaphezulu.
Kodwa abanye abantu bathi ukunika udumo oluninzi kubangelwa abantwana abangaphezulu. Bacinga ukuba abantwana bavuswa ukuba bacinge ukuba bangcono kakhulu kwaye bankulu kunabo bonke abakwenzayo. Bathetha ukuba abazali kufuneka bahlehlise kwi-duty duty heavy praises.
Inyani, iimbambano zombini zifanelekile. Nangona udumo ngokuqhelekileyo luyinxalenye enempilo yabantwana abazali, ukubonisa nje abantwana abaneetoni zokuxhoma akubalulekanga. Kodwa ukuba isetyenziswe ngokuchanekileyo, ingasetyenziselwa ukuncedisa abantwana ukuba bakhe umlingiswa endaweni yokugxotha nje i-egos yabo.
Nazi imimiselo emihlanu yezindlela ongasebenzisa ngayo indumiso njengesixhobo sokwakha nokukhuthaza umgangatho onempilo, kunokuba ungaphepheli nje i-egos yazo:
1. Dumisani Ukuthanda Kwamabantwana Ukuba Uxubushe Ngezinye Iimbono Zabantu
Imeko: Umhlobo wakho womntwana wehla isantiki yakhe emhlabathini kwibala lokudlala ukuze umntwana wakho abelane ngesahlulo sesangweji yakhe kunye naye.
Dumisani ukuba i-Inflates i-Ego: "Umsebenzi omhle uhlale unomusa kubo bonke abantu."
Ukudumisa okuKwakha isicatshulwa: "Kwakuyinto enhle kuwe ukuba unikezele isiqingatha sesihlunu sakho kumhlobo wakho. Oko kwamenza wamomotheka. "
Ukudumisa umntwana wakho ngokuba "uhlala uzinikezela" kugxininisa ekufumaneni i-accolade kuwe. Kwakhona, akunakwenzeka ukuba umntwana wakho "usoloko" enomdla "nomntu wonke." Ngokubonisa ukuba wenza ubumnandi bakhe, uya kumbonisa ukuba ukwabelana kufanele kube malunga nokwenza ngomusa omnye umntwana, kungekhona ukufumana indumiso omdala.
Olu hlobo lokudumisa lukhuthaza umntwana wakho ukuba enze okulungileyo nangona kungekho mntu ukhangele umntu omdala.
2. Dumisani imizamo yabantwana bakho endaweni yeZiphumo
Imeko: Umntwana wakho ubonisa ikhadi lakhe lokunika ingxelo kwaye wafumana zonke iiA.
Dumisani ukuba i-Inflates i-Ego: " Unjalo onyana ohlakaniphile. Uhlala ufumana amabanga aphezulu. "
Ukudumisa okuKwakha Ubunzima: "Ndiyathanda indlela osebenza ngayo nzima konyaka. Umgudu wakho uhlawule ngokucacileyo. "
Ukudumisa umntwana wakho ngenxa yesiphumo kugxininisa kwimveliso yokugqibela. Kungakhuthaza umntwana wakho ukuba enze kuphela izinto apho uyaqiniseka ukuba uya kuba mkhulu. Ngokudumisa imizamo yakhe, uya kumbonisa ukuba umsebenzi onzima ubaluleke ngaphezu kokufumana amabakala amnandi.
3. Dumisani Umntwana Wakho Ukufunda Iimpazamo
Imeko: Umntwana wakho unzima kwiklasi yakhe yamatriki kwaye namhlanje ubonisa ukuba unebanga lokupasa kwi-test yangoku.
Dumisani i-Inflates i-Ego: "Wow, udlulile uvavanyo lwakho. Umsebenzi omhle kakhulu! Ndisazi ukuba ungayenza loo nqanaba. "
Ukudumisa okuKwakha Ubunzima: " Xa unzima ukufumana izibalo, awuzange ulahlekelwe kwaye wafunda ukuba uyimpembelelo yakho. Kubalulekile kuba ngamanye amaxesha kuyakuba ngumngeni ebomini kwaye kufuneka sifunde ukuba sisebenze kanzima njani ukuhlangabezana nale mingeni. "
Ukudumisa umntwana wakho ngokudlula ukuvavanya kuya kubonisa kuphela ukubaluleka kokuphumelela. Ukumkhumbuza ukuba wafunda kwiimpazamo zakhe zangaphambili kunokumnceda amkhumbuze ukuba iimpazamo zinika ithuba lokufunda. Kwakhona kubalulekile ukuquka izifundo ezithile zobomi malunga nokusebenza kanzima kunye nokujongana nemingeni yobomi kunye nengqibelelo.
4. Dumisani Umntwana Wakho Ngokuba Nembeko
Imeko: Umntwana wakho ubonise umdlalo wezemidlalo ngexesha lomdlalo webhola lebhola.
Umzekelo Wokudumisa: "Umsebenzi omhle namhlanje!"
Indlela engcono yokudumisa: " Ubonise umdlalo wezemidlalo entsimini namhlanje. Uxhaphaza izandla kunye namanye amaqela, awukhalazi xa ungathandanga ezinye zeefowuni owenziwe ngumpempe, kwaye wanceda umntu xa uphupha ngengozi.
Leyo yinxalenye ebalulekileyo yokuba kwiqela. "
Xa uthetha izinto ezinjengalezi, "Umsebenzi omkhulu," umntwana wakho akakwazi ukuba uyazi into othetha ngayo. Bhala igama lakho indumiso ngokoqobo kwaye ke umntwana wakho uyaqonda isizathu sokuba uyamdumisa. Kunokuba nje umdumise umntwana ngenxa yezakhono zakhe okanye iitalente, bonisa indlela aziphatha ngayo kwabanye abantu kwaye uxoxe ngendlela echaphazela ngayo abanye. Ukukwazi komntwana wakho ukuziphatha ngokuhlonipha kubaluleke ngakumbi kunokuba ngaba uphumelele okanye ulahlekelwe ukhuphiswano.
5. Dumisani Umsebenzi Osebenza Kanzima
Imeko: Umntwana wakho wenza ixesha lebhola le-baseball xa ungalindelanga.
Umzekelo Wokudumisa: "Wow, usibonakalise ukuba siphosakele. Asizange sicinge ukuba uza kwenza iqela phezu kwazo zonke ezinye izingane. "
Indlela engcono yokudumisa: "Umqeqeshi kufuneka ukuba uqaphele ukuba usebenza nzima ngeli xesha kwaye wagqiba ekubeni ufumene indawo kwiqela leenkwenkwezi zonke."
Gwema ukunikezela ngokuncoma xa ubonisa ubuthathaka bomntwana wakho kwaye ungayithelekisi umntwana wakho nakwamanye abantwana. Oku kunokumisela umntwana wakho ukuba afune ukuba "ngowona nto." Endaweni, dumisani imizamo yakhe kwaye wenze ukuba kucace ukuba ngamanye amaxesha inzame ihlawula kodwa ingaphepheli ukunika umntwana wakho ingalindelekanga. Yenza kucacise ukuba umsebenzi onzima awuhlali uphumelele ngokulinganayo kwaye udumise umntwana wakho xa ebonisa ukuzimisela ukuzikhethela emva kokusilela.
Ngokuqhelekileyo, kulula ukudumisa iimpawu zomntwana wakho kunye nokufezekiswa kwayo kunokuba ubonise ezo zifundo zobomi zokwakha izakhono. Kodwa, ukuba uyabakhangela, uya kufumana amaninzi amathuba okudumisa ukuziphatha komntwana kunye nemizamo.