Uphononongo lubonisa ukuba abafana banokuba nobudlova ngaphezu kwamantombazana
"Abafana banokulula ukukhulisa ngaphezu kwamantombazana."
"Ndivuyayo ukuba andinayo ukujongana nomdlalo weentombazana. Abafana baxazulula izinto ngokukhawuleza. "
Iingxelo ezinjengezi ndawo eziqhelekileyo xa kuziwa ekuxubusha ukungafani kwindlela abantombazana nabafana abaxhala ngayo . Enyanisweni, okuninzi kubhaliwe malunga namantombazana enentsingiselo kunye nobudlova obudlelane, kangangokuba abantu abaninzi bayazi kakuhle oko kubonakala ngathi.
Ingaba ngumgca ovela kwi-movie yeTheshana yeNtombazana okanye ukutshintshisana phakathi kwamantombazana kwi-Instagram, abaninzi abantu banokukwazi ukubona iintombazana ezithethayo .
Kodwa kuthekani ngamakhwenkwe? Ngaba zithethi ngeendlela ezifanayo iintombazana ezinokuthi zithethe, zisasaze iindlebe kunye nokungabandakanyi abanye? Uphononongo olutsha lufumanisa ukuba ukuziphatha okubhekiselele ekubhekiselele ekubhekiselele kuyo kubaluleke kakhulu kumantombazana okunene kunokuba kuninzi kubafana.
Ngokweengcali zabaphandi baseYunivesithi yaseGeorgia basebenzisa ubugwenxa bokuxhatshazwa okanye baxhaphaze ngokungakumbi kunokuba bangaphezu kwamantombazana. Enyanisweni, ngokwesi sifundo kakhulu abafana babonisa umzekelo wokutshatyalaliswa kobudlelwane esikolweni esiphakathi kunye neminyaka emininzi ephakamileyo kunamantombazana. Enyanisweni, uphando lubonisa ukuba abafundi abavakalisa ukuziphatha bathetha ukuziphatha kwaba ngaphezu kwe-66% yindoda.
Ingakumbi, oku akusiyo kuphela isifundo ukubuza ukuba ngaba awamantombazana kuphela abo abangenako ukuthetha. Ukufundwa kwabantwana abavela kumazwe ahlukileyo abathandathu akufumananga umahluko phakathi kwamantombazana kunye namakhwenkwe xa kuthetha ukuziphatha okubi okanye ulwalamano olusondeleyo.
Kubantu abaninzi, oku kuza kumangaliswa. Uninzi lwabantu aludibanisi ukuphathwa, iifowuni , ukuhleba kunye neendlebe ngamakhwenkwe. Xa bacinga ngamakhwenkwe noxhatshazo, bajonga ukuxhatshazwa ngokwenyama, ukubiza amagama kunye nezinye iindlela ezibonakalayo zokuxhaphaza. Kodwa izifundo zibonisa ukuba kwenzeka.
Mhlawumbi umehluko kukuba amakhwenkwe awakhulumi ngawo njengamantombazana.
Kodwa ukuba ubhekisisa ngokumalunga nobudlelwane bamakhwenkwe esikolweni esiphakathi kunye neyona ndawo ephakamileyo, uya kubona. Enye inkwenkwe iya kuba yindlela yokukhuseleka kwezenhlalakahle ngelixa enye ibonakala ikhutshwe ngabantu. Oko akukwenzeka nje ngethuba. Iimpawu ezinjengegunya lomzimba, ukuphakama, ukukhanga, umdlalo, ubuchule, ukuhleka kwamanye amazwe kunye namanye amanqaku amaninzi atyunjwa ukubeka impumelelo yentlalo kubafana.
Kwaye kubonakala ngathi umnqweno wokuvunyelwa ukudibaniswa nokukhuphisana kwemvelo kwamakhwenkwe kunokukhokelela ekuphatheni okuthethileyo kuyafana noko kufunyenwe kumantombazana kule minyaka. Ngenxa yoko, amakhwenkwe angayenza ibakala ahlala exhoba lokutshatyalaliswa, ukuhlambalazwa kunye nokuphathwa ngabanye abafana.
Okona, ulwalamano olusondeleyo lunokuthi lukho nakubungqina obude. Ngaphantsi kwengxowa yokuthetha, ukucinywa kunye neengxabano, abafana bazama ukuwamkelwa njengamantombazana. Enyanisweni, iintsuku ezininzi zeenjane zizaliswe ziinkalo ezininzi zeentlalo ezifanayo.
Kodwa ezininzi zezi mingeni zihlala zingabonakali ngabazali nootitshala ngokukodwa kuba abafana abaxubushelani ngezinto abazifumanayo. Inqabana abafana bayabelana ngayo xa iqela labakhwenkwe lingabandakanyi kuwo umdlalo webhoksiki okanye ubashiye uluhlu lokumema kwiqela.
Esikhundleni salokho, babambelela entukuthelweni okanye bafune iindlela zokufumana. Ukongezelela, uluntu ulindele ukuba bangakhathazeki.
Kodwa ukutshintsha ukuxhatshazwa kubafana kunye nokujongana nobudlova, abazali kunye nootitshala kufuneka baxhobise abafana ngeendlela zokujongana nokukhusela indlela yokuziphatha. Ubomi babo bobubele, ukuzithemba kunye nezentlalo zentlalo zichaphazeleke kakhulu kulolu hlobo lokuxhatshazwa, nangona bengathethi nto.
Nangona uphando olongezelelweyo lufuneka luqhutywe kumcimbi othi "abafana bathetha," kucacile ukuba abazali kunye nootitshala kufuneka bajongane nemiba yobudlova phakathi kwamakhwenkwe. Iiprogram zokuthintela ukuxhatshazwa kwexesha elizayo kufuneka zijoliswe ekunciphiseni ulwalamano olusondeleyo kwintombi kunye namantombazana ngokulinganayo.
Ukubethelwa kobudlova, okanye ukuthatha ukuziphatha, njengengxaki ye "ntombazana kuphela" yinto enokumelana nabafana.