Ukuzama ukugqiba isigqibo sokuba ufuna ukuba nomnye umntwana kunokukhokelela ekukhongeni kwangaphakathi kwemfazwe. Uyazi njani ukuba ulungele enye umntwana? Qalisa ngale mibuzo eyi-10 ukuzibuza ngaphambi kokuba unqume ukuba ufuna ukuba nomnye umntwana. Iimpendulo zakho ziza kukuxelela ukuba kufuneka udibanise isikhalazo okanye ubambe ukuthengiswa kwendawo yentsana.
1. Umntu oMtshata naye uvakalelwa njani ngokufumana omnye umntwana?
Umtshato wakho unokuziva unyanzelekile xa intloko yakho kunye nentliziyo yakho ingekho kwindawo enye.
Esikhundleni sokuzama ukukholisa omnye ngesigqibo ongaziva ngayo okanye ngokuchaseneyo, phindela emuva kwimeko uze unike ixesha.
Thetha omnye nomnye malunga nokuba ufuna ntoni okanye ungafuni omnye umntwana. Qaphela ukuba unokuthi ufikelele ekungqinisweni, njengokuphindaphinda ingxoxo ezinyangeni ezimbalwa okanye ukubeka usuku ngonyaka okanye ezimbini xa uqala ukuzama ukukhulelwa. Ukunyaniseka kwakho bobabini kwaye xa ukhulisa ngakumbi, kulula ukuba sakho sigqibo.
2. Umntwana wam uza kuthatha njani umzalwana omncinane okanye udade?
Umntwana oneminyaka engama-7 kuphela onokuyothuka ngokukwenkcenkcesha malunga nokuba nomntwana wesibini okanye uvakalelwa kukuba ungciniwe. Unokuba novakalelwa iimvakalelo zombini. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, umntwana osemncinci akanakuyifumana ingcamango yokuba wayeyinja ephezulu ngaphambi kokuba umntwana afike. Uyakwazi ukulungelelanisa nomntakwabo omtsha kakuhle okanye angase enze ukuzama ukufumana ingqwalasela yakho ekwahlukileyo phakathi kwakhe nomntwana weenombolo ezimbini.
Umntwana wakho akanakho ukugqibela kwisigqibo sakho sokuba nomnye umntwana, kunjalo. Kodwa kufuneka uxoxe nomntwana wakho ukuba uneminyaka eyaneleyo yokuqonda kwaye ucinge ukuba ubomi bakhe buya kutshintsha njani xa uhamba ngomnyango kunye nosana olusandula. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba ubudala bakhe, thabathe amanyathelo amanyathelo angakumbi ukumnceda ulungelelanise nomntakwethu omtsha ukuba unquma ukufumana olunye umntwana.
3. Ngaba Sinokubangela Ukuba Nomntwana Omnye?
I-United States yeSebe lezoLimo (i-USDA) ingxelo yamuva ithi iya kubiza i-$ 245,340 ukukhulisa umntwana owazalwa ngo-2013, ukuqikelela ukuba i-$ 12,940 idluliselwe kulowo mntwana ngonyaka kunyaka wokuqala wokuphila. Kwaye oko akubandakanyi ikholeji. Unyaka ngamnye inani likhuphuka.
Akufanele nje ukhangele iindleko zangexesha elide kodwa ucinge malunga neendleko eziza kudla imali ephuma kwi-pocketbook yakho ngokukhawuleza - uhlawula imali, uhlawulelo lwe-inshorensi, izibhedlele zebhedlele, imiyalelo, i-diapers, ukunakekelwa kwabantwana, i-shampoos baby, i-diaper rash cream kunye ne-baby gear okanye iimpahla ongeke ubeke kuzo kwabanye abantwana bakho. Ezi ndleko zingongeza ngokukhawuleza, ngokukodwa ukuba sele utyeshele yonke ipesenti yengeniso yakho yomzi.
Ukuhlolisisa uhlahlo lwabiwo-mali lubonakala lusebenza ngokungafanelekanga xa ucinga ukuba nomntwana. Nangona, ukwazi iinqununu kunokukunceda ukuba wenze isigqibo sokuba ngaba ulungele olunye umntwana ngoku okanye ukuba ufanele ulinde unyaka okanye ukuhlaziya kwakhona iimali zakho.
4. Ngaba Singahlala Ngomnye Umntwana?
Ukongeza elinye ilungu endlwini yakho kungafuna utshintsho oluthile. Indlu yakho yokulala e-3 ingahle ilahlekelwe yiofisi yekhaya okanye abantwana bangagqiba ukwabelana negumbi njengenye indlela.
Kufuneka uthenge umqhubi wesibini ukuze abantwana bakho bobabini bakwazi ukukhwela ngexesha elinye. Isithuba esilandelayo semoto kufuneka sinegumbi lemimandla emincinci efuna ukukhuselwa kwizihlalo zeemoto ezinamandla. Incinci yakho yokutya-ekhitshini eyayilungelelweyo kwi-trio yakho ngoku kufuneka ibenze indawo yehlalo ephakamileyo kwaye, ekugqibeleni, kufuneka udibanise kwisihlalo esiqhelekileyo xa lo mntwana sele ekhulile. Cinga ngeenguqu ezahlukeneyo oza kuyenza ukwenjenjalo xa ungabona imigca emibini ebomvu ekuhlolweni kokukhulelwa.
5. Uya kuthatha njani omnye umntwana ushintshe indlela yethu yokuphila?
Njengoko amazibulo akho ekhula, ufumana inkululeko encinane.
Xa umntwana wesibini efika, ubuyela kwisikwere esinye. Ukunyuka nokuya endaweni ethile akulula kangangoko. Yongeza umntwana wesithathu okanye wesine, ngokukodwa xa sele esondeleyo, kwaye unokuthi uzalise izandla zakho.
Ngokumalunga neendlela zakho zokuphila, utshintsho lwamaviki enye lwama-Alaskan ofuna ukuthabatha ngeenyanga ezimbalwa mhlawumbi lukhoyo ngoku. Nokuba uhambo olujikeleze idolophini lubuhlungu kwakhona. Umqhubi uya kufuneka abekwe emotweni. Isikhwama se-diaper kuyakufuneka sipakishwe. Uninzi lweenguqu zizinto ezifihlakeleyo kodwa ziyinto into ekufuneka uyiqwalasele.
6. Yintoni eya kuba nomnye ushintsho lwentsapho yethu?
Ukuba nosana kuguqula yonke into. Oko akusebenzi nje kumntwana wakho wokuqala. Usapho lwakho luya kutshintsha nomnye umntwana naye.
Ukuba uvela kumntwana omnye ukuya kubini, ukuba i-100% igxile kwizibulo lakho ngoku izahlukana. Ekuqaleni, ukutshintshwa kwexesha kuya kuba ngumntwana ngenxa yokuba uya kutshintsha rhoqo i-diapers kwaye uncelise umntwana. Kwaye xa ufumana umzuzu wokukhulula ukudlala nomntwana wakho wokuqala, konke okuya kuthanda ukukwenza kukulala.
Kulula ukuziva utyhafile ngenxa yokuba uzama ukunyamekela iimfuno zeebini ezimbini kwiiyure ezingama-24 eziqhelekileyo. Ngona mlingane onceda kakhulu, amanye amalungu entsapho nabahlobo, uya kufuna ixesha lokulungiswa lokuba ngumzali ezimbini.
Ekugqibeleni, ixesha lakho liya kubuyela kwi-balance even among your children. Kodwa intsapho yakho inamandla iya kutshintshwa ngonaphakade.
7. Yintoni endiyintloko yokufuna ukufumana omnye umntwana?
Zibuze ukuba kutheni ufuna enye umntwana. Ngaba ufuna umntwana wakho wokuqala ukuba abe nomntakwabo? Ngaba uyathanda ukunyusa ingqondo nomzimba omncinane? Ngaba unengqiqo yokuba isihlalo esingenanto etafileni yakho kufuneka sibe nomnye umntu ehleli apho? Ngaba uziva uxinzelelo lokuba nomnye umntwana? Ingaba ukhathazekile ukuba le nto ingaba yithuba lakho lokugqibela ngaphambi kokuba ufike kumdala ukuba unomntwana?
Unokuba uzikhupha ngeembuzo malunga nokuba wenza ntoni okanye awufuni enye umntwana. Xa ihla kuyo, yintoni isizathu sakho sokuqala sokufuna ukuba omnye umntwana okanye isizathu sakho sezizathu zokungafuni omnye umntwana?
Emva kokuba udibanise isizathu esiyinhloko esivela ngaphakathi, uya kuthi uphendule wakho kufuneka ukuba / andifanele ndibuze malunga nokuba nomntwana. Isizathu esinye sezizathu siya kuthetha kakhulu malunga nokuba uhlala phi ngoku ebudeni kunye nendlela ufuna ukukhulisa ngayo intsapho yakho.
8. Ukususela ekukhulelweni ukuya kuMbindi weZondlo zoBusuku, Ngaba ndilungele ukwenza konke kwakhona?
Iintsana zivumba kakuhle kwaye zikhulu kakhulu. Ukuba nje ujikeleze umntwana osandulisayo unokuba yinto enxilisayo.
Xa utsha lugqithisa, inyaniso iyaphupha. Ufanele usebenze kuzo zonke iiyure, hamba phantsi ngomntwana okhwazayo, hlala umgca-onzulu kumathayidi angcolileyo kwaye ujikeleze ishedyuli yakho malunga nomntwana wakho. Uqala kwakhona kwakhona. Njalo isigaba owamthandayo, kwaye abanye awakungekho odibanayo, uvuselela. Ngoku unomntwana ongaphezu kweyodwa ukunyamekela ngaphezu kwawo konke kwaye ukutshiswa komama kunokube kusemgangathweni.
Khumbula izinto ezintle ngokuba nosana. Kwakhona ukhumbule imiphumo yokuphulukana emva kokuhamba, ukudinwa kunye nokunyamezeleka kokunyamekela umntwana. Ewe, iintsana ziyamangalisa kodwa kufuneka unqume ukuba ngaba uphakamisela imingeni abayithatha ubuncinane.
9. Ndiya kuziva njani ukuba andinayo enye umntwana?
Sivame ukucinga ngendlela ubomi bethu obuya kuba ngayo xa sithenga into kubo. Eli xesha, cinga ngobomi bakho ukuba awuzange ungeze into ethile, omnye umntu, kwintsapho yakho. Unokuvakalelwa ngathi intsapho yakho igqibelele ngomntwana omnye okanye uvakalelwa ngathi umntu ongazange adibane naye kodwa ulahlekile.
Umbuzo onzima ungabonisa uluhlu lweemvakalelo, ukusuka ekuzisola ukuya ekuphumuleni. Hlola ezi mvakalelo kuba zinokukujonga ngendlela ovakalelwa ngayo ngokuba nomntwana.
10. Ngaba Ndifuna Ngempela Ukuba Nomnye Umntwana?
Ngaphantsi: Ngaba ufuna ukuba omnye umntwana? Umbuzo obaluleke kakhulu ukuwubuza kwaye ufuna impendulo ethembekileyo.
Uxinzelelo, uzama ukugcina umtshato, ukunyamezela kunye nekhefu lokuzala elinokubangela ukuba ucinge ukuba ufuna ukuba nomntwana. Gxotha naziphi na iimpembelelo zangaphandle uze uzenze isheke. Ngaba ufuna ukuba nomnye umntwana?
Khumbula nje, akukho mpendulo echanekileyo okanye engalunganga. Yonke intsapho ihlukile. Isigqibo sakho sokukhulisa umntwana omnye okanye indlu ezele abantwana ikulungele wena nentsapho yakho.