Abazali ababelethi nabazali be-Singletons
Yintoni eyahlukileyo ngokuphindaphinda ngabazali?
Ukungabikho koMyalelo woBuDalawuli bokuBala
I-Singleton sibantsane basasazeka kwiminyaka emininzi bavelisa umgangatho wendalo. Ngaphandle kokunyusa ukuphuhliswa komntu, ukulandelelana kokuzalwa kubeka rhoqo umgangatho wokuba abantwana baphathwa njani kwiintsapho. Abazalwana abakhulileyo bayakhokela, abantakwabo abancinane balandela. Abantwana abakhulileyo banenkululeko enkulu, kodwa banemithwalo eninzi, njengoko bekhula.
Abantwana abaselula bajonga kwaye bafunda kubazalwana babo abadala. Kukho ukungafani kwemvelo kwamandla ngenxa yobudala.
Kodwa iziphindaphindwa zibudala obufanayo, kwaye - ngokuqhelekileyo - kwisigaba esifanayo. Bajamelana neziganeko ezifanayo kunyekanye. Bahamba ngesantya ngexesha elifanayo, isitimela samathambo kanyekanye (ngokuqhelekileyo), kwaye siqale isikolo ndawonye. Nangona abanye abazali bebeka impawu zobuntu bokulawula ukuzalwa kwimizi yabo ngokuphindaphindiweyo ngokusekelwe kulowo owazalelwa kuqala, kukuqeshwe ngobuxoki. Ngaphandle kwendima echazwe ngumyalelo wokuzalwa, ukuphindaphinda kuyifaka ingqungquthela yabo yokwenza umyalelo, kwaye rhoqo abazali babo kufuneka bajongane nokuwa.
Abazali Abazali abaninzi ngabanye
Wonke umzali unikwe umsebenzi wokukhokela abantwana babo njengoko bekhula baba ngabanye. Apho abazali abaphindaphindiweyo bajamelana nocelomngeni oluthe xaxa ekuncedeni abantwana babo ukuba babe ngabanye naphezu kwazo - kunye nenkxaso yabo-imeko yabo njengento emininzi.
Nangona abazali bezama ukunyanga i-multiples njenge-indivudals, ukuphepha ukuthelekiswa kunye nokubhaliweyo, kukulwa rhoqo ukukhupha izimvo zoluntu. Abaninzi babhekene nokuqhaqhaqeka kwamatyala kwaye bahlala bejamelana nokuthelekiswa ngenxa yeewele zabo. Abahlobo babo, abamelwane, ootitshala kunye neentsapho zentsapho ezinentsingiselo ziya kuzama ukubhala kwaye zizahlula.
(Nguye iwele elihle, iwele elihlakaniphile, iwele elihle ... Ukuba umntu uthanda i-baseball, omnye kufuneka kwakhona ... Uphumayo, ngoko iwele lakhe kufuneka libe nehloni.)
Apho apho abantwana abathandana nabo bevame ukuvakalelwa ngokubambana komntakwabo, imiphumo ibangelwa ngumyalelo wokuzalwa kunye nokudlula kwexesha. Baneeminyaka (okanye kwezinye iinyanga ezininzi) ukufezekisa izinto ezibalulekileyo ezenziwa ngabazalwana babo abadala. Ukuphindaphinda, iimfuno ezinkulu zikulindeleke ukuba zixeshanye.
Ngako oko, kubaluleke kakhulu kubazali beeninzi ezininzi ukunqoba izibhengezo, ukubhalisa kunye nokuqhathaniswa ngokunikela isikhokelo kunye nokukhuthazwa kubantwana babo, bebancedisa njengoko bahlakulela njengabantu ngabanye kwimeko yobudlelwane babo njengeziphindaphindiweyo.
Ulwahlulo lweeMpahla zabazali
Abazali abaninzi abaphindaphindiweyo baziva nzima ukuba bahlule ixesha labo, ingqalelo kunye nothando phakathi koonyana babo, ngakumbi kunokuba kunye nabantakwabo be-singleton basasazeka kwiminyaka emininzi. Ukuba nabantwana bamaxesha ahlukeneyo kudala amathuba amaninzi kwixesha ngalinye: iintsana zobunqunu xa abantwana abadala bevukile. Abantwana abakhulileyo bahlala kamva ebusuku. Abantwana abakhulileyo baqala isikolo ngelixa abasebancinci basesekhaya.
Abantu abaninzi benza yonke into ngexesha elifanayo.
Balele ngexesha elifanayo, bavuke bonke ndawonye, okwenza kube nzima kubazali ukuba bafumane ixesha elilodwa kwixesha elilodwa lokuqwalaselwa ngabanye. Abazali beziphindaphinda kufuneka benze umzamo ohambelana nokudibanisa nomntwana ngamnye.
Ukugcina ukulingana ngenye inselele enkulu kubazali beeninzi. Apho umyalelo wokuzalwa ophazamisayo udla ngokubakho izinto ze-singletons, kubakho umzabalazo kubazali bamawele okanye ngaphezulu ukuqinisekisa ukuba umntwana ngamnye ufumana isabelo sakhe esifanelekileyo. Ingaba lixesha, ingqalelo okanye izinto eziphathekayo, akunakwenzeka ukuba kugcinwe ukulingana phakathi kwephindaphindiweyo, ukubeka abazali ngenxa yokukhathazeka kunye netyala.
Ukunyusa iBond
Ubunxulumano phakathi kwephindaphinda bunzima kwaye bunzima. Amawele ayenokuba ngabahlobo abalungileyo ngomzuzu omnye, kunye neentshaba ezibuhlungu ezilandelayo. Apho abazali bee-singleton banxamnye nobudlelwane bomntakwenu, ubudlelwane phakathi kokuphindaphindiweyo buyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu, kwimbono yam. Ukufundisa abaphindaphindiweyo ukuxazulula ingxabano ngendlela ephilileyo kunye nokukhuthaza ubophelelo phakathi kwabo ngumngeni omkhulu kubazali.
Akunakukwenza-Iinto
Wonke umntu ufunda kwiimpazamo zabo, akunjalo? Ngokuphindaphindiweyo, akukho "i-do-overs". Ngomntwana ngamnye ehamba kwisigaba esifanayo kunye nesigaba simxane, akukho ithuba lokufunda kumava adlulileyo. Abazali beziphindaphinda abanalo inzuzo yokujonga.
Iqela leTek
Ngaba akukho nto ithi amabango athi "ukhuseleko" ngamanani? Ndingazifakazela ukuba kukho ingozi enkulu xa kuziwa kwiintlobo. Njengeqela, isethi yamawele, ama-triple okanye ngaphezulu angavelisa iziganeko ezingakumbi kunabantwana abathandwayo. Ukusebenza njengeqela, banokuthi baninzi, bathathe ingozi emininzi, baze baqhube umda. Enoba bakhwela omnye komnye ukuze bafike kwikhabhinethi ephezulu, okanye ngokubambisana ngokukrazula igumbi lokuhlala, ukuphindaphindwa kugcina abazali bezinzwane zabo.
The Good Stuff
Nangona kukho imingeni kunye neengxaki, ukuba namawele okanye ukuphindaphinda kukuvuyisa. Kuyi-privilige ukuba ibe ngumlindi kunye nabathatha inxaxheba kwiindawo zabo ezikhethekileyo kunye nolwahlukileyo. Kukho izinga lokulula kunye nokusebenza kakuhle kwabantwana abazali ngokukodwa; ezinye zeemeko ezingathandekiyo (ubusuku obungalali, uqeqesho, ukuqeqeshwa kwamathambo, iingxaki zentsha) kufuneka zikhuthaze kanye. Kukho izinga "udumo" oluqhotyoshelweyo lokuba namawele okanye amaninzi; Abanye abazali bayakuvuyisa xa abanye behlazeka. Kodwa ngokubanzi, kukho uvuyo kunye nokuzonwabisa ngokuphindaphindiweyo kwabazali, yonke imizuzu yokuzikhukhumeza iyanda kwaye yonke injabulo elula iphakanyisiwe.