Ingaba ungeke ukwazi ukuma umcamango womntwana wakho enze impazamo emsebenzini wakhe wesikolo, okanye ukwesaba ukuba umntwana wakho akayi kwenza izigqibo ezilungileyo xa ukhangela ihlombe lakhe, kunokuba nzima ukunika umntwana inkululeko ukuba ' yinto encinci yokulawula i-freak.
Nangona kungenasempilweni yokuba ngumzali we- pushover , ukuba ngumlawuli olawulayo unengxaki efanayo. Ukuba unetyala lokumaketha kwemisebenzi yengane yakho, le miphumo ingaba nayo kumntwana wakho:
1. Uya kutshabalalisa abantwana bakho ngesizathu esingenako
Abazali abagxininisa ekubeni ne-high degree of control phezu kwabantwana babo bahlala bebandakanyeka kwimisebenzi eminingi ehleliweyo. Ukusuka kwizifundo ze-violin ukuya kwenzweni yebhola, bakholelwa ukuba abantwana babo bafumana umgca wokukhuphisana.
Kodwa uphando olwenziwe ngo-2011 kwi- Journal of Child and Family Studies lubone ukuba ukubhalisa abantwana kwimisebenzi yechungechunge akuzange kubenze benovuyo, baphile kwaye baphumelele. Ngokukhawuleza ukusuka kwinto ethile ukuya kwesinye kunokuba ukhathaze umntanakho-kwaye ucofe i-akhawunti yakho yasebhanki-kungekho sizathu soqobo.
2. Ngeke kubekho iziphumo zeNdalo
Ukuba kubanda ngaphandle kwaye wenza ukuba uneminyaka engama-14 ubudala afake ijacket, akayi kufunda into eyenzekayo xa engagqoki. Ukuba uhlala uthatha isinyathelo ukukhusela ingxabano phakathi kwabantwana, abayi kufunda indlela yokulungisa imiba ngokwabo.
Vumela abantwana bakho ukuba babhekane nemiphumo yemvelo xa kukhuselekile ukwenza njalo.
Oko kuthetha ukuba kuya kufuneka ubekezele ukubukela umntwana wakho enze iimpazamo okanye enze izinto ongeke uyenze. Ukunikezela ukulawula kunokuba nzima xa ungasetyenzisiwe ukuyeka ukuhamba.
3. Ukudala kuya kuphazamiseka
Abantu abafuna yonke into ukuba babe phantsi kolawulo bathumela umyalezo, "Kukho enye indlela efanelekileyo yokwenza oku, kwaye yindlela yam." Nangona kukho iindlela ezininzi zokusombulula ingxaki enye, ukuba unomthwalo wokulawula, Ndiza kunciphisa nayiphi na uhlobo lokudala.
Khumbuza ukuba umntwana wakho unokufumana indlela eyahlukileyo yokusombulula ingxaki, kwaye akunakwenzeka ukuba ayiphutha. Phantse yonke ingxaki inezicombululo ezininzi. Makuvumele ukuvumela umntwana wakho ukuba ahlolisise, afunde, kwaye enze imizamo ephindaphindiweyo yokusombulula ingxaki ngaphambi kokuba ungene kwaye umxelele "indlela yokwenza okulungileyo."
4. Izingane zikhetha ukukhathazeka
Uninzi lwabantu luziphatha njenge-freaks control kuba ziziva zixhalabile xa zivakalelwa ngathi zilawulwa. Bacinga ukuba, "Ukuba andiyi kugcina yonke into elawulwayo, into embi iya kwenzeka." Noko ke, abantwana bayaqonda, kwaye baya kuthatha ukuxhalaba kwakho ngokukhawuleza, nangona kungakhange kuthethwe ngokuzwakalayo.
Abazali abanentloni banesantya. Ngoko kubalulekile ukuqaphela indlela ukuxhalaba kwakho kungayifumana ngayo indlela yokufumana umzali onempilo . Esikhundleni sokuhlala ucinga ngezinto ezimbi ezinokwenzeka, sebenza ngokunika umntwana wakho inkululeko yokuba yintsana.
5. Abantwana Abesabisayo
Ukuba uhlala ubeka iliso kwintshukumo yomntwana wakho, mhlawumbi uya kuyika ukwenza iphutha. Kwaye ngelishwa, iimpazamo zinokuba luncedo olukhulu lokufundisa kwaye zinokunceda abantwana bafunde indlela yokujongana nokuhluleka.
Kodwa ukuba unganqikazi ukuyeka ukulawula okwaneleyo ukuba umntwana wakho akwazi ukwenza iphutha, uya kucinga ukuba iimpazamo zibi kwaye unokuzama ukufihla nayiphina impazamo ayenzayo.
Fundisa umntwana wakho ukuba iimpazamo zilungile. Kwakhona, thetha ngokubaluleka kokwamkela uxanduva lokuziphatha kwaye umbonise ukuba wonke umntu wenza amaphutha ngamanye amaxesha.
Iingxaki zezeMpilo zengqondo ziyakwandisa
Abantwana abanomzali olawulayo basengozini enkulu yeengxaki ezithile zempilo yengqondo . Ukuxinezeleka nokuxhalaba kunokubangelwa xa abazali befuna ukuthobela kwaye abantwana abanalo inkululeko yokuzivakalisa.
Uphononongo olwenziwa ngo-2013 kwi- Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology kwafumanisa ukuba abantwana abanomzali ongekho nto abanakho ukuphumelela ngokuphumelelayo. Bazabalazela ukujongana nokuxhalaba kunye nokuxinezeleka kuba ngabantu abadala.
Yiya Kufuneka Ulawulwe.
Ukuba uzifumanisa uzama ukulawula yonke into, zibuze oko kubaluleke kakhulu-umonakalo oya kushiywa ngumntwana wakho edlala neglue, okanye impilo yakhe yengqondo yonke?
Ukuyeka ukuhamba ngezinye iinkhathi kwaye ukuvumela umntwana wakho inkululeko yokudlala ingaba kuhle kuye kuphela, kodwa nakuwe. Thatha amanyathelo okukhulisa umntwana oqinileyo ngengqondo olungele ukujamelana neengxaki zempilo ngokwakhe.
> Imithombo
> Janssen I. Umzali onobubele ochaphazelekayo unxulumene kakubi nomsebenzi wokwenyama phakathi kweminyaka engama-7 ubudala. Ukhuseleko lweMithi . 2015; 73: 55-59.
> URousseau S, uScharf M. "Ndiya kukukhokela" Isixhumanisi esingathanga ngqo phakathi kokulungelelanisa nokukhutshwa kwabantu abadala. Uphando loPhando . 2015; 228 (3): 826-834.
> Schiffrin HH, Godfrey H, uLiss M, uErchull MJ. Umzali Okhulileyo: Ngaba Unayo Impembelelo Echaphazelekayo kwiZiphumo Zomntwana? I-Journal ye-Studies Child and Family Studies . 2015; 24 (8): 2322-2331.
> I-Segrin C, i-Woszidlo A, i-Givertz M, i-Montgomery N. Impawu zabazali kunye nabantwana abaxhatshazwe kunye nokugqithisa. Umbhalo Wezentlalo Nezentlalo Zengqondo . 2013; 32 (6): 569-595.