Yintoni abafazi abangenasiphene abanokubambisana neCarcer and Trauma Patients
Igama elithi "ukusinda kwabangenasifo" kwavela ngexesha lokushintshana kwe-Twitter. Incoko yayilungileyo kwezi zimbini zizathu:
- Kwandinceda ndiphinde ndiyihlolisise ixesha lokusweleka kwengqondo kwaye ndenze isigqibo ngenye into.
- Kwandiqhubezela ukuba ndibhale ngendlela abangaphandle babona ukuxinezeleka kwengqondo yokungabikho kwengqondo.
Tweeter @mominisrael, aka uHannah Katsman woMama kwaSirayeli, wayivakala ukuba ukusebenzisa kwam ixesha elidlulileyo "kwakungenabubele." Xa ndamcela ezinye iingcebiso, njengoko ndandivulelekile kwimibono emitsha, wabhala wathi, "awazi, kodwa nangona ukungabikho kwengqondo kuphazamiseka, akufanele kufaniswe nomdlavuza, ukuxotsha kwabantu, njl njl. "Ayinasongelo lobomi," watsho.
Yintoni abafazi abaneCarcer kunye ne-Infertility Have Common
Ndatshutshiswa yimpendulo yakhe ndaza ndamqinisekisa ukuba andizange ndibe neenjongo zokubeka ukungenasifo kwinqanaba elifanayo njengeNkohlakalo okanye abasinda kumdlavuza.
@mominisrael waphendula wathi, "Xa ndiva eli gama, ndicinga ngeziganeko ezisongela ubomi. Ndiyazi ukuba awukuthelekanga."
Nangona kunjalo, uphando luye lwafumanisa ukuba abafazi abanesifo sokungabikho kwengqondo banamaqondo okuxinzezeleka ngokomzwelo afana nezigulane zomhlaza kunye nezigulane zokuvuselela inhliziyo.
Ngokubhekiselele kuphando lophando, @mominisrael waphendula, "Abazange bakwazi ukufunda abafileyo." Andiyikuphikisana noxinzelelo, kodwa nicinga ukuba lixesha elibi. "
Kutheni ukuphuma ngaphandle kokungafihliyo kunenkathazo eninzi Ukusiqonda
Oku kugxininisa ukungakwazi kwabo bangaphandle kwimeko yokungabikho kwengqondo ukuba baqonde ukuba ubuhlungu obungakanani kunye noxinzelelo olubuhlungu xa lufumana ukungabikho komntwana. Xa unomntwana wakho umzabalazo okanye akunakwenzeka.
Lo akusihlandlo yokuqala ndiye ndandixelelwa ngumntu ongenakholwa ukuba olu pho nonongo luya kuchaneka. Ndiyabuza ukuba ibuyela kumntu othi "Ngubani unobungozi obukhulu, ngubani othe wayilungele" umdlalo , apho sicinga ukuba sinokugweba ukukhathazeka komnye okanye intlungu yomzwelo.
Ndiqinisekile ukuba xa ubuza umntu, "Ubungaphi na ukuva, ukungabikho komntwana okanye umhlaza?" Uninzi lwabantu luya kuthetha ukungabikho.
Eyona nto ingakumbi kuba abantu bafuna ukuphila, nangona ubomi babo bunzima.
Kodwa oku akutshintshi amanqanaba oxinzelelo lwangokomzwelo abanokuba nakho. Isifo esisongela ubomi asisoloko siholele ekudakaleni okukhulu okanye amanqanaba aphezulu oxinzelelo. Enyanisweni, ndiyazi abantu abambalwa ababa ngabazithandayo ubomi emva komhlaza. Ukufa ngokukrakra ebusweni benza ukuba baqonde eli hlabathi.
Xa Umtya Wakho Wokuphila Uphela Nawe
Ngexesha elifanayo, ndiyazi abo babandezeleka ngenxa yokungakwazi ukuzala abantwana ababenamaqondo anzulu okuxinzezeleka kunye nokudandatheka abaye bacinga ukuzibulala. Kwaye, ngokudabukisayo, abanye abantu bayazibulala ngenxa yokudandatheka okubangelwa yintlungu . Ngoko ngubani na onokugweba ukuba "ngubani unobungozi"?
Nangona ukungabikho kwengqondo akusongeli ubomi bakho, kusongela ukuqhubeka kwakho kwemfuyo. Ukuba awunakho abantwana be-biological, i-gene pool yakho ihamba nawe. Luhlobo lokufa kwezizukulwana ezizayo.
Andikwazi ukuthetha indlela esiyiyo ngayo le nto yokungabikho komntwana, kodwa ikhona. Siyiyo, nokuba sinqwenela ukuyivuma okanye ayikho, izinto eziphilayo. Izinto eziphilayo zenzelwe ukudala ubomi obutsha.
Xa Abahlobo Bakho Baxinezelekile, Bacinga Ukuba Kufuneka Ube Njalo
Ingongoma yam apha ayikubonakalisa nabani na ukuba ukungabikho kwengqondo kunokuvelisa kwiimvakalelo zesifo somhlaza.
Uphando sele lwenze njalo. Ndiyamangalisa ngokucacileyo ukuba kutheni abaninzi abantu abangazange bafumane ukungabikho kwengxaki banengxaki yokucinga ukuba oku kuyenzeka.
Ukuba siqhathanisa ubunzima beentsapho kunye nosapho, abo bathanda umntu onomdlavuza okanye ukungabikho komntwana, ndikrokrela kunzima kakhulu kumbuthano wesigulane somguli wesifo somhlaza. Akukho mntu ufuna ukufumana umhlobo wabo efa okanye ebonakala ebandezeleka ngexesha lokunyanga.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, abantu abaninzi abanomdla, bayazi ukuba, abahlobo kunye nosapho abavumi ukuziva becinezelekile ngenxa yokungabikho kwengqondo kumntu othandekayo. Intlungu (ngokomzimba) kunye neentlungu zisoloko zibonakala zingabonakali kwaye ke, kunzima abanye ukuba bave novelwano.
Amazwana avela kubafundi
Nazi ezinye iimpendulo zabafundi ababelane nabo kumxholo onzima.
UEris D. ubhala:
"Ndiyindoda yokudlwengulwa." Ngaloo ndlela, igama elithi "osindayo" lisetyenziselwa endaweni yokuba "ixhoba," ukubonisa ukuba ndaphila, ndaphilisa, andivumele ukuba idlwengulo luchaze, lugcine okanye litshabalalise. buyela, ngoko nceda ungabibize ixhoba lokudlwengulwa kwakhona.
Ngelishwa, ndiyindoda yabangamaxhoba abangenabantwana. Iminyaka emithandathu, amabini ahluleka i-IVF, ama-5 ahlukeneyo alahlekile umzimba wam kunye nengqondo yam. (Nabahlobo bam, ukunxibelelana kweentsapho, i-akhawunti yasebhanki kunye nomda wam umtshato.) Andikwazi ukusho ukuba ndisindise ukungafumaneki. Kwiintsuku ezithile uvakalelwa kukuba andiyi-intliziyo yam iyonakalisa kakubi kakhulu ndiyazi ukuba ingaqhubeka njani ibetha. Ndiya kulala ebusuku kwaye ndiyithemba ukuba andiyi kuvuswa. Ndiyonyango kodwa kunzima kakhulu ukufumana ithemba. Oku akusiyo isifo umntu onokunqoba ngamandla okanye ukuzimisela; akusiyo umhlaseli onokukulwa okanye ukubalekela okanye ubize 911.
Ndiyicinga ukuba igama elithi "usindiso olungapheliyo" lufanelekile, kwaye ndiyathemba ngelinye ilanga ukuba ndiyedwa. "
Speakeasy25 ubhala:
"Njengawo nawaphi na ixesha lesazisi, akukho mntu ukhethayo nawuphi na umntu ukuba uyayichaza njani." Ungayithandi igama elithi "usindayo" kwimicimbi yokungabikho kwengqondo? Mkhulu-ungayisebenzisi. enye into abakwaziyo okanye abanako ukuyisebenzisa ukuze bachaze kwaye bachaze amava abo.Ukuphila kusenokuza kuvela, ukuba uhlale ume ekugqibeleni, ukwenza oko.
SML ibhala:
"Ndiyingozi yomdlavuza, kwaye unesifo se-PCOS kwaye ndingenamntwana." Ndicinga ukuba ubhekiselele kuwe njengomntu osindileyo. into ekufuneka ijamelane nayo.
Ngomhlaza wam, bayayinqumla, ndingathabatha iipilisi kwaye ndifumane ezinye iindlela zonyango kwaye enye iya ku-PCOS yam.
Kodwa akukho nto enokuyenza ngenxa yokungabi namntwana kwaye indichitha ngaphezu kwananto endimele ndijongane nayo.
Ngomhlaza wam, kwakukho iindlela ezininzi zokuncedisa nokuqonda ukuba ndinokujika. Apho kunye nokungakwazi kwam abantwana ukuba babe nabantwana, nganye iimbono nje ezigqithisileyo esinokuhlala sizifumana.
Abaqondi ukuba oko akusiyo into esifuna ukuyiva kwaye ayenzi izinto ngokulula.
Ngoko u sindayo.
Uhlala usaphila kunye nokudabuka kunye nokungabi nalutho kwansuku zonke. Uyayigwinya kwaye unamathele kuloo mncumo xa ufanele uhambe kubangani bakho abafudumezi bamanzi kwaye xa bebetha loo mifanekiso yabantwana babo yonke i-Facebook yabo. Ungavumi ukuba umntu enze ukuba uzive ngathi imiba yakho ingaphantsi komnye umntu. "
Julie ubhala:
"Emva kokufunda oku, uchanekile ekutshilo ukuba abantu abanalo uvelwano okanye uvelwano malunga nokungafumaneki.
Umyeni wam waphelelwa yi-leukemia xa eneminyaka eyi-18 - emva kokuba sihlangane. Ndandinaye imihla ngemihla, kwaye abantu behlala bebuza indlela enjani, ukuba yonke into yayilungile, kwaye yonke into idandathekile. Emva kwexesha elide, bayeka ukukhathazeka, baqhubeka bebuza imibuzo, kodwa impendulo yayifana neyokuqala - uyayifumana. Iintsuku zizinzima, nobusuku nazo.
Kwaye emva kwangoko, waxelelwa ukuba wayengenasiphene, ngenxa ye-radiotherapy. Kwakuxakeka kakhulu, njengenye yeenjongo zobomi bakhe ukuba babe nabantwana bakhe. Xa ndixelele abanye bam bahlobo bam, ndinegalelo lomxube kakhulu. Phakathi kwam bahlobo bam bahlobo abasondeleyo. Omnye wathi bathe bahlunguzeka ngenxa yokuba bacinga ngokuqinisekileyo malunga nayo yonke imeko, kwaye omnye wathi ukuhlala ucinga kakuhle.
Andiyena ohamba ngokuthe ngqo, engumyeni wam. KANYE - akukho ncinane, iyanceda kum.
Xa ehamba nomdlavuza wakhe, akazange acinge ngako. Iiveki ezimbalwa zokuqala zaba zibi kakhulu, yilo xesha wayecaphuke ngayo, NGENA ukuba wayecinga ngako. Emva kweeveki ezimbalwa, kwaphela kwaba ngumsebenzi kuye. Nangona kunjalo, ukuthetha ngokusweleka kwengqondo, uye wayibeka ingqalelo ngenxa yokuba kuyabuhlungu kakhulu ukuba acinge. "
Subha ubhala:
"Le nto inomdla ithatha ukungabikho komntwana. Ndiyinkqonkqo yomdlavuza kunye nomntu ongaswelekanga kunye nokujonga kwam, umhlaza onokuphulukiswa (nangona kunjalo nemiphumo emibi kakhulu) yinto elula ukuyisebenzisa ngaphandle kokungabikho kwengqondo.
Ukungabi namntwana kwakungumphumo ochanekileyo we-chemotherapy (ndandineminyaka engama-25 xa ndifumana i-chemo kwaye andinabantwana ngoko). Ukuphila ngaphandle kweenwele kunye ne-eyelashes kwakungelona kunzima kuneyona nto ikhoyo ngoku - inokwenzeka ukuba ndingabi namntwana wam.
Ngandlela-thile ukungabikho kwengqondo kubetha umfazi okhuni kakhulu ... apho kubuhlungu khona. Ngokungaqhelekanga abantu baqala ukukugxeka ngokungenasiphelo njengokungathi wenze into engalunganga ukuba ingabikho. Nangona, abantu abanomhlaza bayamkela ukuba umdlavuza usanda kwenzeka (ngaphandle kokuba ityala eliqinisekisiweyo ngenxa yokutshaya okanye i-genetics, njl).
Ukungabi naluphi umba omkhulu kumfazi. Kodwa ekupheleni kosuku, unelungelo lobomi obonwabileyo nokuba ungabantwana.
Iminyaka yemimiselo yokuba abafazi bafuna ukuzala abantwana yimbangela yale ntlekele. Abanye abantu baneentliziyo ezigulayo, ezinye ziba nesibindi esibi, ezinye ziba neengqumbo kwingqondo ... ngoko kungabikho kwengqondo ... Yilungu okanye ezinye ihommone zingasebenzi okanye zibuthathaka. Akukho nto enokuyenza ngayo ngokuhle okanye sibi kangakanani.
Kungakhathaliseki ukuba uzama kangakanani ngezinye izihlandlo unokwenza okungakumbi malunga nento efana nokungabikho. Eyona nto siyayamkela loo nto kwaye siyamkela ukuba elinye lamalungu ethu alinaso imeko enkulu, sinokuqhubeka.
Ukuba sithanda abantwana kakhulu, sinokuzama ezinye iindlela. Akufanele sinyamekele malunga noko abanye bakuvakalelwa. Ukukhulisa umntwana yiprojekthi enkulu-ukukhanya. Kwinqanaba elikhulu, kuya kunciphisa intlungu yokungabikho.
Yonke le mzabalazo yenza ukuba ube namandla kwaye ube novelwano. Ngamnye kuthi kufuneka sifumane iindlela zokujongana nokudandatheka kwaye siphile ubomi obonwabileyo.
Ndiyicinga ngexesha, izinto ziya kuphucula abafazi. Isantya esisongelayo sokwanda kokungabikho kwengqondo kuya kubangela ukuba kwenziwe isenzo kunye nokucinga. "
Ngaba uziva ucinezelekile? Nceda uphumelele uncedo!
- Ukuhlakulela iNkxaso xa ujongene nokungafihli
- Ukujamelana Neengcinga Zokuzibulala
Oluthe xaxa malunga nokuhlangabezana nabahlobo kunye nosapho xa uzama ukukhulelwa:
- Izinto Ezi-12 Azingabi Nitsho Ngomntu ongenalucalulo
- Izinto ezili-10 zokuMisa ukwenza ukuba ufuna ukuxhasa umntu ongenalucalulo
- Ndingayinceda njani uMhlobo ongenalucalulo?
- Ngaba Ufanele Uxelele Abahlobo Nentsapho Yakho Ngokungabi Nalukholo?
- Iindlela ezili-10 zokujamelana nazo xa uzama ukuqonda
Umthombo:
Schwerdtfeger KL, Shreffler KM. Ingxaki yokukhulelwa nokulahleka phakathi koomama kunye nabantwana abangabantwana abangenabantwana eMelika. I-Journal of Loss and Trauma . 2009; 14 (3): 211-227. i-doi: 10.1080 / 15325020802537468.