Gwema ukuthetha ezi ngxelo eziqhelekileyo kodwa ezibuhlungu
Sonke sinalo mzuzu onzima xa sabelane ngolwazi olubuhlungu kunye nomhlobo, kwaye baphendule ngento ephazamisayo. Uninzi lwethu luye ngaphaya kolunye uhlangothi-umhlobo uyazimela, kwaye siphendula ngendlela engafanelekanga. Njengoko sijonge ummotheka wethu omnene, sithintela ngaphakathi, sizibophe ngokubeka unyawo lwethu emlonyeni wethu.
Iingcamango ezingenakunqwenelekayo azenzanga ukulimaza. Zenziwa ngokungazi okanye ngaphandle komnqweno oqinileyo wokuthetha into eya kuchitha ixesha elide.
Sifuna ukucombulula ingxaki yomhlobo wethu, ukuphilisa intlungu, okanye ukukhanyisa imeko ngendlela ehlekisayo.
Esikhundleni saloo nto, singaziboni ukuba izinto zibe zibi nakakhulu.
Ukuba unomhlobo okanye ilungu lentsapho ongenasiphelo, uya kufuna ukuphepha ukuthetha ezi zinto ezili-12.
Uthi omnye wabo? Ungesabi ukubuyela kumhlobo wakho kwaye uxolise. Ingaba ngumzuzu wokuphilisa obabini.
1. "Unako ukwenza i-IVF rhoqo."
I-IVF ibonakala ibonakala njengonyango-konke ngenxa yokungabikho.
Ayikwazi ukukhulelwa? Yenza nje i-IVF!
Ngaphandle kokuba kungelula.
Okokuqala, IVF yonyango olubi kakhulu .
Akunqabile ukugqutywa yi-inshurensi e-United States kwaye ihlala ihlanganiswe kwamanye amazwe.
Omnye umjikelo wonyango unokulahlekelwa phi phakathi kwe-$ 12,000 kunye ne-25,000.
Nangona kunjalo, iimjikelezo ezininzi zingadinga ukuphumelela. Amaqabane angafuna kwakhona amaqanda , i-sperm, okanye ama-embryos, okanye nokuba ngumntu okhuphayo , obiza kakhulu.
Olunye uphando lwafumanisa ukuba iindleko eziqhelekileyo zonyango lwe-IVF ngokuzalwa ngokuphumelelayo yi-$ 61,377! Kwakuphakame kakhulu kwi-IVF kunye namaqanda abanikeli, kwi $ 72,642.
Lezo manani aphezulu ziphumo zemijikelezo efunekayo yokuphumelela.
Okwesibini, i-IVF ayiyonyango-konke.
Nangona unayo imali, i-IVF ayinakuphumelela.
Kubasetyhini abangaphantsi kwe-35, kukho i-39.6% ngomyinge wokuphumelela komjikelo. Oku kuya kuhluka ngoxhomekeke kwimbangela yokungasebenzi.
Izinga lokuphumelela kwe-IVF kwabasetyhini abaneminyaka engama-42 ukuya kuma-43 liphantsi kwe-11.5% ngomjikelezo.
Okwesithathu, akusiwo wonke umntu ofuna ukuhamba kwinkqubo yokunyanga kwe-IVF .
Yonyango olunzulu nolushukumisayo. Nangona ii-IVF ngokuqhelekileyo zibhekwa njengezikhuselekileyo, azikho ngaphandle kweengozi . Abanye banokuchasa ngokwenkolo kwi-IVF .
I-IVF ayilona wonke umntu.
2. "Yenza nje!"
Ukwamkelwa komntwana kunokuba yinto ekhethileyo yokubambisana, kodwa akusiyo isigqibo esimele senziwe lula.
Ukuphakamisa ukwamkelwa ngendlela ehamba phambili kukungazibali iindleko zemali nezomzwelo zokwamkelwa.
Kwakhona, ukuthatha abantwana akusoloko kunokwenzeka.
Kukhona inkqubo yokwenza isicelo kunye nenkqubo yokuvunywa yokwamkela umntwana. Akuyena wonke umntu ofuna ukuwamkela uya kudlula inkqubo yokuhlola. (Ukungadluli kwinkqubo yokuhlola ikhona, ngendlela, kuthetha ukuba umntu akayi kwenza umzali omkhulu. Kunzima ngakumbi kunoko.)
Kwakhona, ukuthatha umntwana akuthathi intlungu yokungakwazi ukuba nomntwana wezinto eziphilayo. Ukunikezela ukhetho njengenduduzo ayiqhelekanga kakuhle.
Ukwamukelwa akuthathi indawo yokuba nezingane eziphilayo kodwa enye indlela yokwakha intsapho.
3. "Ndithembele, unenhlanhla ukuba unabantwana!"
Imibhangqwana engapheliyo ayifuni. Ngubani ongazange ahlale kwivenkile yokudlela ecaleni kwentsapho enkulu, ekhohlakeleyo? Okanye wanyamezela uhambo olude olukufutshane nomntwana okhalayo?
Siyazi ukuba abantwana bayakhala kunye ne-puke. Siyazi ukuba abantwana bahlaziye kwaye bavakala. Siyazi ukuba ubomi bethu buya kutshintsha ngokukhawuleza xa sinabantwana.
Nceda ungagxininisi ukulahlekelwa kwethu ngokukwenza iintsikelelo zakho zizwakala ngokufana nesiqalekiso.
4. "Kufuneka ukhululeke.
Le ngqungquthela ixhaphake kangangokuba kwanokuba oogqirha baphinda kwakhona, kodwa ukunyanzeliswa kwansuku zonke akubanga kubangelwa.
Ucwaningo olukhulu olupapashwe kwi-BMJ lubhekisele kuma-3 000 amabhinqa, avela kumazwe ahlukeneyo a-10. Bafumanise ukuba amanqanaba aphezulu okuxinzezeleka kwengqondo ngaphambi kokuba umjikelo wonyango awuchaphazeli kakubi umphumo.
Ngamanye amazwi, ukuziva uxinezelekile akuthinteli umngane wakho ongenasiphelo ukuba angakhulelwe.
Ungaphinda ufune ukuqwalasela okokuqala kuqala - uxinzelelo okanye ukungabikho komntwana?
Ukuzala kwakho umngeni umngane wakho mhlawumbi akazange agxininiswe malunga nokukhulelwa ade afumanise ukuba kwakungekho into eyenzekayo.
5. "Mhlawumbi awuhlosi ukuba ngabazali."
Le nto ibuhlungu ngokwenene.
Ukuba oko kwakuyinyaniso, ngaba ubani unokuthi uchaze ukuba kutheni abazali ababi nabaxhaphazayo banako ukufumana abantwana?
Ukufanelekela umsebenzi akucaci ukuba kufuneke.
Akukho mntu uyazi isizathu sokuba izinto ezimbi zenzeke kubantu abalungileyo. Nceda ungadlala uThixo ngokusixelela ukuba kutheni singakhange sikhulelwe.
6. "Kodwa uselula kakhulu! Unayo ixesha elininzi lokukhulelwa."
Akunjalo njalo.
Ukuba ngumncinci akusenzi ukukhuselwa kukungabikho, kwaye ixesha alikho ngaso sonke icala.
Ngokomzekelo, ukuba ibhinqa linokuphelelwa kwexesha elingasemva kwexesha (elikwaziwa nangokuthi i-ovarian premature failure), ixesha alikho kwicala layo. Xa esalinde ixesha elide, mhlawumbi uya kufuna umnikeli weqanda.
I-Endometriosis yenye yimeko ebuhlungu ngexesha.
Ngoxa usemncinci ukwanda kwandisa amathuba okunyanga impatho, akusoloko. Kwaye ukuba esemncinci akuqinisekisi ukuba yimpumelelo.
7. "Beka umsebenzi wakho phambi kokuba usapho? Tsk, tsk."
Okokuqala, sichaza ukuba ukungabikho kwengqondo isiphoso sethu asinakuqonda. Nangona kukho i-tad yenyaniso kuyo, musa nje ukuya khona.
Okwesibini, ungacingi ukuba asizange sibe nomntwana osemncinci ngenxa yemisebenzi.
Uphando lwabasetyhini baseKhanada ababenomntwana wabo wokuqala bafumana ukuba abangaphantsi kwe-30% yabasetyhini bakhankanya iinjongo zemisebenzi njengengxenye ebalulekileyo yocwangciso lwabo lwezesapho.
Iintlobo ezintathu ezona ziphezulu zithathwa ingqalelo ngaphambi kokuba uqalise intsapho ebudlelwaneni obukhuselekileyo (97%), uzive ulawulwa ngobomi babo (82%), kwaye uzive ulungele umzali (77%.)
8. "Yintoni eyona nto inkulu, sele unomntwana."
Ukungabikho komntwana osisigxina- ukungabikho kwempilo ezayo emva kokuba sele usenomntwana-yinto enkulu kubafazi abajongene nayo.
Ukuba nomntwana okanye abantwana abawuthabathi iintlungu zokungakwazi ukufumana ngaphezulu, ngakumbi ukuba uhlala ucinga ukuba lwakho usapho luza kuba lukhulu.
Ngaphambi kokuba usitshele ukuba "mbulele" into esinayo, ungacingi ukuba asikho.
Abantu abatshatileyo abangenabantwana abangenabantwana abangenabantwana abangenabantwana abangenabantwana abangenabantwana abangenabantwana abangabantwana abangabantwana abangabantwana abangabantwana abangabantwana abangabantwana abangabantwana abangabantwana abangabantwana abangabantwana abangabantwana abangabantwana abangabantwana abangabantwana abangabantwana abangabantwana abangabantwana abangabantwana abang Kunokwenzeka ukuba unombulelo ngezinto onayo kunye nosizi ngenxa yento ongekho ngexesha elifanayo.
9. "Ngoko, ngubani na ophoso lakhe?"
Ungacingi ukuba ekubeni sithembele kuwe ukuba asinamandla ukuba ngoku sikulungele okanye sikulungele ukwabelana nazo zonke iinkcukacha.
Ukungabi nantoni kufuneka kudityaniswe malunga nokunye, kodwa kuseyi sihloko somntu siqu.
Nceda uhloniphe ubumfihlo.
10. "Ukuba ufuna unomntwana, unokwakho kakade. Ingqondo yakho mhlawumbi iyakukhusela ukuba ukhulelwe."
Xa siyakhulelwa ukukhulelwa size sibe nomntwana ngaphezu kwanto nanye, sixelelwa ukuba asifuni nto enye ngokwaneleyo yinto yokutsala.
Mhlawumbi uthandwa nguNgcaciso , kukho abantu abakholelwa ngokwenene ukuba unokuthintela ukukhulelwa ngokuthi "awufuni ngokwenene" ukuba kwenzeke.
Yithi kubo bonke abafazi abakhulelweyo abangenanga ukukhulelwa! Akunjalo.
Nangona ngezinye izinto ezingenakuqonda ukuba umfazi okanye umntu akafuni ukuba nomntwana, "engafuneki ngokwaneleyo" akayi kubangela ukungabikho.
Ukuba oku kunjalo, bekungekho mfuneko yolawulo lokuzalwa .
11. "Kungaba nzima kakhulu, kunokuba nomhlaza."
Oku kuthetha ngokududuzayo njengokuxelela umngane ophelelwe nguyise, "Kulungile ukuba umama wakho noyihlo bafe."
Nceda ungenzi njengemfesane yamapolisa, ugqibe ukuba ubani ofanelwe imfesane kwaye ongenalo.
Kuyathakazelisa ngokwaneleyo, uphando lufumene ukuba uxinzelelo lwengqondo lwabasetyhini abanokungazinzi lufana noxinzelelo olubangelwa ngumhlaza, i-HIV kunye nezigulane ezingapheliyo.
Unokufunda okokuba amabhinqa ayenomdlavuza kunye nokungabikho kwengqondo kulesi nqaku:
12. "Nantoni na oyenzayo, musa ukuyeka. Kuya kwenzeka!"
Ndiyazi ukuba oku kubonakala ngathi kuyinto eqinisekisayo ukuthetha, kodwa ngelishwa, akunjalo.
Enye ingxaki ngale nto yenza ukuba kukhaneke ukuba izinto ziya kusebenza ekupheleni. Inyaniso ayenako.
Ukuxelelwa ukuba, "Ungakhathazeki, kuya kwenzeka," uguqulela ngaphakathi ngaphakathi ngokuthi, "Yeka ukukhononda ngenxa yokuba ayikho into enkulu."
Enye ingxaki ngale nkcazo kuthetha ukuba "ukuyeka" akuyiyo inketho.
Ukugqiba ukuyeka unyango, okanye nokuba unqume ukungafuneki unyango kuwo onke amaxesha, maxa wambi ngokuqinisekileyo yintoni na isibini esimele siyenze.
Oku ngakumbi ngokuxhasa umhlobo ongenasiphelo:
- Izinto ezili-10 zokuMisa ukwenza ukuba ufuna ukuxhasa umntu ongenalucalulo
- Ndingayinceda njani uMhlobo ongenalucalulo?
- Ngaba Abantu Abangenasiphene Abasindileyo? Ewe!
- Izinto ezili-10 zokuyeka ukuzenzele ukuba uhlala kunye nokungenzi lutho
- Indlela yokuxelela umhlobo ongenasiphelo Ukhulelwe
Imithombo:
UPatricia Katz, uJonathan Showstack, uJames F. Smith, uRobert D. Nachtigall, uSusan G. Millstein, uHolly Wing, uMichael L. Eisenberg, uLauri A. Pasch, uMary S. Croughan noNancy Adler. "Iindleko zonyango lokungabikho komntwana: Iziphumo ezivela kwiinyanga ezili-18 zokufunda." UFertil Steril. 2011 Matshi 1; 95 (3): 915-921.
J Boivin, E Griffiths, CA Venetis. "Uxinzelelo lwengqondo kubafazi abangenabantwana kunye nokungaphumeleli kokuncedisa ubuchwepheshe bokuzala: i-metaanalysis yezifundo zengqondo zengqondo." BMJ 2011; 342: d223.
USuzanne C. Tough, uMonica Vekved, uChristine Newburn-Cook. "Ngaba izinto ezithintela ukuCwangciswa koKhulelwa kwaBantwana zihlukeneyo ngoMama woMama? I-Survey Based Survey." I-Obstet Gynaecol I- 2012; 34 (1): 39-46