Kutheni sifuna ukukhulelwa Umona kunye nokuFunda Indlela yokuya kuhamba
I-Monster ye-Green Eyed Monster ayiyena mntu owaziyo ukuzala . Ukuziva ukukhulelwa ngumona ngenxa yabahlobo, abasebenzisana nabo kunye nezihlobo ziqhelekileyo kwaye ziqhelekile. Unokuba nomona nje ukumbona isisu esingumfokazi !
Yintoni ebangela umona? Yaye unokuhlangabezana njani na ?
Iingcamango ezondla kwi-Envy Umona
Umona uyimvakalelo evamile. Awuyena umntu ombi, umhlobo, okanye isihlobo sokuvakalelwa ngumona.
Ukuqonda iingcamango ezisisiseko ezondla kwiimvakalelo zesikhwele kunokukunceda uziqonde kakuhle kwaye unciphise le mivakalelo engenakukhathazeka.
Ikhwele eliqhelekileyo Rational # 1: "Ndiza kuba ngumzali ongcono ngakumbi, kodwa uNksz Terrible-Mama ukhulelwe kwakhona."
Kutheni abesetyhini bekhulelwa "abangazange bazama?" Kutheni umqeshwa wakho osebenza kunye naye ekhulelwe ngokukhawuleza xa ungeke uzimisele ukukhulelwa iinyanga okanye iminyaka ngoku?
Kutheni ummelwane wakho-okholelwa ukuba ungumama onyantsi-uyakwazi ukukhupha abantwana ngokukhululeka, kodwa wena-okholwa ukuba uya kuba ngumama onamahloni-akakwazi ukukhulelwa kungakhathaliseki ukuba unzima kangakanani?
Inyaniso kukuba ukukhulelwa akukucalucaluli.
Ukukhulelwa akuxhomekeke ekubeni "usebenza nzima" kangakanani, nokuba ungenzi umzali omhle okanye umbi.
Ikhwele eliqhelekileyo Rational # 2: "Yeka indlela enokumangalisa ngayo isikhalazo! Akayiqondi indlela enenhlanhla ngayo."
Akukho nto ivuselela umona nomsindo ngaphezu kokuba umhlobo onenhlanhla eqala ukukhalazela ngokugula kwasekuseni.
Okanye ufanele uvuke nomntwana phakathi kobusuku.
Unokuzibuza njani ukuba ukhononda xa unika yonke into yokuba nomntwana?
Ewe, nantsi into emele uyikhumbule: Xa ukhulelwe, mhlawumbi ufuna ukukhononda .
Ukuba uzinyanzela ukuba uhlale ubonwabileyo ngaphandle kwithuba lokukhulelwa kunye nexesha lokuhamba emva, ungase uzibekele ukuziva ucinezelekile .
Ukukhulelwa kunye nokuqala komzali akulula. Ukugcina ubunzima bakho imfihlo ayilungele impilo yakho yengqondo.
Enyanisweni, ukuba ne-infertility ye-infertility kukubeka engozini enkulu yokuphucula uxinzelelo lwentlungu.
Xa uva umhlobo wakho ekhononda, khumbula ukuba ukukhenkceka ngokukhulelwa kunye nexesha eliza kuzalwa liyinxalenye yamava. Akunjalo ukuba abayikuxabisa into abanayo-bayayenza. Baye bathande ukuthetha-it-up.
Kwakhona, khumbula ukuba ukukhulelwa kunye nomama omtsha yintsikelelo kunye namava amanzima okuza kuhamba ngawo.
Ukuncenga akuyena uphawu abangayithandiyo-inxalenye yokwenene nokukhulelwa.
Ikhwele eliqhelekileyo Rational # 3: "Kutheni yena kungekhona mna?"
Kukho ezimbini iingqiqo emva kwesi.
Enye into enengqondo yokuba ukukhulelwa kukufutshane. Cinga nje ukuba bonke abahlobo bakho bekhulelwe, abayi kuba neleyo "abakhulelweyo" ukuba bajikeleze. Oku akunjalo, kunjalo.
Enye ingqiqo emva kwalowo uchanekileyo ngokuthe ngqo, "Kutheni na?" Kubuhlungu ukudabuka ngaphandle kwekhwele.
Umona Njengomsindo kunye nosizi kudibana
Ngeendlela ezininzi, kulula ukuba uzive umona kwaye uqondise iimvakalelo zakho ezinzima ngaphandle ukujonga ngaphakathi kwaye uvume ukubuhlungu.
Inzondo ingaphantsi komhlobo wakho okanye ukukhulelwa kwamalungu entsapho, kwaye ngakumbi malunga nentlungu yakho ngenxa yokungakwazi ukuzala.
Ukungenanto kuyisifo esixhalabisayo, esinzima ukujamelana nazo. Ukuziva ubuhlungu, umsindo, intlungu, kunye noloyiko luqhelekile kwaye luqhelekile.
Intukuthelo ingakumbi imvakalelo ethanda injongo. Ukuba uvakalelwa ngumsindo ngenxa yokungabi nantoni, ukuqondisa loo nto kumsebenzi osebenza naye okhulelweyo unokuziva kulula kunokuba uqondise kuyo yonke indawo ukuba ungayisebenzisi amakhadi okukhulelwa owawuthembayo.
Ukuzikhusela Ekukhulelweni-Inzondelelo-Ininzi
Xa unesithwele sokukhulelwa, ngamanye amaxesha kufuneka uthabathe amanyathelo okunciphisa ukubonakala kwakho kwizinto ezibangela.
Ezinye izinto onokuzenza ziquka:
- Fihla yonke imiyalezo yesimo kwi-Facebook kumhlobo wakho okhulelwe okanye ilungu lentsapho : Abayi kukwazi ukufihla ukuhlaziywa kwabo, kwaye unako ukuhamba rhoqo kwiphepha labo rhoqo rhoqo kwaye uhlaziye izibuyekezo ezibalulekileyo. Ngaphezu koko, ukuba kukho into ebaluleke ngokwenene eyenzekayo, bona okanye omnye umntu uya kukuxelela.
- Nciphisa isimemo somsana womntwana : Akufanele uhambe. Ukunyaniseka. (Okunye malunga nemvula yamanzi.)
- Buza ukuba bangakhulumi ngokukhulelwa ngamaxesha onke : Ukuba ukuva kwabo bethetha ngokukhulelwa kuyabuhlungu, mhlawumbi ufumane indlela yokutshintsha umxholo, okanye uthembeke kwaye ubatshele ukuba awufuni ukuthetha ngokukhulelwa nokuba kutheni. "Ndivuyiswa nguwe, kodwa ukuva uthetha ngokukhulelwa kwakho kundenza ndive ndibuhlungu gqitha kuba andinakuzikhupha. Ngako oko singathetha ngezinto esathetha ngazo ngaphambi kokuba ukhulelwe?"
Ukufunda Ukuyeka Ukukhulelwa Umona
Nangona akufanele uzinyanzele ukuba uhambe kuyo yonke into yokuhlamba umntwana, okanye ufunde ngokugqithiseleyo ukuhlaziywa kwezimo ze-Facebook eziphathelene nokukhulelwa, kufuneka uzame-xa usulungele-ukuvumela ukukhulelwa kuba nomona.
Ungadinga ukuyeka kwakhona ukuhamba kwakhona kwakhona. Kodwa ukukwazi ukwenza oko kubalulekile kwimpilo yakho yengqondo.
Kufika ixesha xa ukuzihlukanisa ukuze ukhuphe ukukhulelwa umona kuza kudala ingozi kunokulungileyo.
Ikhwele liyakwazi ukufumana indlela yokuba nendima enkulukazi ka-Aunt .
Ukuba nomona kunokukunqumla kubantu owake wathanda ukuhlala nabo.
Ukuba nomona kunokukwenza uzive uwedwa, kwaye umona ungenza ube neentloni (uzibuza ukuba kutheni ungeke ufikelele.)
Ukuyeka ukuya ekukhulelweni ukukhwele kuthatha ixesha, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha, udinga ukucebisa uqeqesho ukuze kukuncede ufike khona.
Njengoko kuchaziwe ngasentla, umona unzulu ngokukrakra nentlungu. Ukuba awujongane nokudabuka kwangaphakathi , uya kuba nexesha elinzima ukuyeka umona.
Ezinye iindlela zokuyeka umona ziquka ...
Tshela umntu : Musa ukugcina iimvakalelo zakho ziyimfihlakalo, ngaphandle koko ziyahluma kwaye zikhule zikhulu. Ukuba umhlobo wakho okhulelweyo okanye udade usondele kuwe, unokuzifihla imfihlo kubo. Ukuba akunjalo, thetha nomnye umntu oya kuqonda. Umcebisi angasebenza kule nxaxheba ngokunjalo.
Bhala iintlungu zakho : Bhala kwiblogi yokuzala ; ubhale ileta kunokuba ungathumeleli kumhlobo wakho okhulelwe. (Okanye ubhale enye oyithumelayo, ukuchaza indlela ofuna ukuvuyiswa ngayo kodwa ukudabuka kweemeko zakho kwenza kube nzima.) Bhala ebhokisini langasese . Bhala into ongenakuyithetha.
Thumela intsikelelo okanye umthandazo : Xa amehlo akho ekhangele isisu esithathiweyo, kwaye uvakalelwa kukuba umona onobukhwele okhulayo uphuma ngaphakathi, thobela loo mvakalelo. Thatha ezimbini ukuphefumula. Emva koko, vala amehlo akho uze uthumele iintsikelelo, ukuxubha, okanye ukuthandaza kuloo mama nomntwana.
Umthandazo unokuba lula, njengokuthi "Ngamana unokufumana ukukhuseleka okukhuselekileyo, mhlawumbi ungazi nto kodwa uthando nokufudumala." Yenza oku xa uvakalelwa ukunika intsikelelo, kwaye ukwenze xa ungekho.
Emva koko, emva kokuthumela intsikelelo kumfazi okhulelweyo, thumela intsikelelo kuwe, ukuxhamla okunxulumene nokuzala okanye kungenjalo. Uthi, "Ngamana ndibe noxolo, ndingaba nothando," okanye "Ngamana ndingazi ngokukhawuleza ukuba kuthini ukuthwala umntwana."
Ungamangaliswa ukuba uziva ukuba umona uncibilikile kwiinyembezi zokudabuka.
Igama elivela kwi-Verywell
Xa unzima ukukhulelwa, umona wokukhulelwa komntwana okanye usana olusandul 'ukuzalwa luqhelekileyo. Awuyena umntu ombi wokuziva ngale ndlela.
Akunjalo ukuba awuhlali uvuyo ngomhlobo okanye kwisihlobo sakho. Yinto yokuba uziva uhlungu ngenxa yokulahlekelwa kwakho. Ukuzibetha ngenxa yempendulo yakho yesiqhelo ayifanelekanga.
Indlela efanelekileyo yokujamelana nokukhulelwa ngumona kukuba uyamkela ukuba iimvakalelo zakho ziqhelekileyo, zixolele ngokwakho ukuba uzive uphazamisekile, uze ufumane inkxaso. Qinisekisa ukuba umntu oxhasekileyo uya kuqonda imbono yakho. Umntu onomona angaba ngowona mhle ukuthetha naye.
Ukuba awukwazi ukuvalela iimvakalelo zakho, okanye ziphazamisa ukwazi kwakho ukuzonwabisa ubomi bakho bemihla ngemihla, cinga ngcebiso. Zininzi izizathu ezilungileyo zokubona umcebisi ngexesha lokungabikho. Bangakunceda ukuhlangabezana nazo zonke ezinye iimvakalelo ezinzima ezivela kwimingeni yokuzala.