Izinzuzo zokwabelana kunye nendlela yokuthatha isigqibo sokuba ngubani ozakuxelela
Ukufumana inkxaso xa kujongene nokungafumaneki kubalulekile. Abahlobo kunye nosapho banokuboleka enye yenkxaso, kodwa kuphela xa ubaxelela ukuba unzima. Basenokungabanikeli inkxaso epheleleyo , kodwa ukuxhaswa kokungafezeki kungcono kunokuba kungabikho.
Ngoko, umbuzo awunjalo xa ufanele uxelele abahlobo namalungu entsapho , kodwa yintoni na ukuba ubani omele uvule kuyo?
Ngaba zikhona izinto onokuthi ungafani ngazo?
Ukuqwalasela iingxaki kunye nobutyebi bokuxelela abantu abathile kunokukunceda wenze ukhetho oluhle.
Izinzuzo zokwabelana
Enye inzuzo yokwabelana nawe uya kufumana imibuzo engaphantsi xa uceba ukuba nezingane, njengokwesaba, " Uya kuba nini na abantwana? "
Ufuna-kuba-ugogo nomkhulu bangaba nomngcipheko ukuba bacinga ukuba ukhetha ukungabi nabantwana. Ukuba ubaxelela ukuba uzama kodwa unengxaki, banokuyeka ukunyanzela.
Ukuxelela abahlobo bakho ngeengxaki zakho zokungabikho kwengxaki kunokuncedisa xa kuvela imeko ezinokungazinyameki, njengamanzi ashushu. Kuqhelekile ukuba uzive ukhululekile ngokuya kwihashe lomntwana okanye namanye amaqela anxulumene nomntwana, kwaye amaninzi amabhinqa abhekane nokungabi nabantwana abangapheliyo. Ukuba ngabahlobo bakho bayazi malunga nokungafumaneki, mhlawumbi baya kuba nokuqonda.
Konke okuthethileyo, inzuzo enye yenxaxheba yokufumana inkxaso.
Xa ugule ngenxa yonyango lonyango othabathayo, okanye ukuhlaselwa emva kokuvavanya ukukhulelwa okungathandekiyo , ukukwazi ukubiza udade wakho, umzala okanye umhlobo unokuncedisa ngokwenene.
Ukuba unenkxalabo yokuba abanakukuxhasa ngaphandle kokungahambi kakuhle , cinga kwakhona. Basenokungaqondi ngokupheleleyo amava akho, kodwa baye balwela ubomi.
Kwanele ukunikela uvelwano kunye nenkxaso kwinqanaba elithile.
Izibango
Kukho iingcingo ezinokubelana ngazo.
Abantu abahlali besazi indlela yokusabela kwiinkcukacha ezintle ezifana nale. Akunjalo ukuba abafuni ukuba luncedo, kodwa ukuba abaqinisekanga njani. Abanye bangasabela njani xa "ndivumele ukuba ndilungise" ngendlela, kukukhukula ngezifundo zophando abazifundileyo okanye amabali abaye bakuva. Banikeza uncedo oluninzi olufunwayo .
Abanye banokuzama ukukwenza uzive ukuba kukho isisombululo esilula.
Bathi, "Hayi, ungakhathazeki ngabo, unokuhlala uqhuba i-IVF ," besenokuthi, engazi ukuba kubiza kwaye kuyingozi kangakanani, okanye i- IVF ayikho isiqinisekiso .
Intsapho ingasabela ngokugxeka. Bathi, "Ukuba awuzange ulinde ukuba neentsana ," mhlawumbi uneminyaka engama-20 kuphela.
Abanye abahlobo banokuba nzima ngakumbi, kwaye banentswelo yokuxelela nantoni na malunga nokukhulelwa kwabo okanye iintsana ezintsha. Ngandlela-thile, kungcono kunabo kuphela ukuthetha ngokukhulelwa kwabo okanye iintsana. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, lizisa indlovu enkulu egumbini elowo wonke umntu oloyiko lokuthetha ngalo.
Kwezinye iziganeko, umhlobo wakho okanye ilungu lentsapho alikwazi ukuba ngcono. Ngethuba nje ulwalamano oluhle, banokuvuleka ekufundeni malunga nendlela yokukuxhasa , ukufunda oko akufanele ukwenze , okanye ukufunda malunga nendlela yokusingatha ukukhulelwa kwabo kweendaba .
Nangona kunjalo, abanye abanako ukuvulela ukutshintsha indlela yabo. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba sele usayazi ukuba abo bantu bangabani. Kungaba ngcono ukuwabelana nabo ibali lakho.
Ukugqiba ukuba ngubani oza kuthetha
Ngaloo mivuzo kunye nemingcipheko engenzekayo engqondweni, unokwenza njani isigqibo sokuba ngubani na onokukuxelela?
Ukuxelela abazali bakho ingaba yinto efanelekileyo, kodwa kuphela xa bengabonakali uhlobo lokumangalela okanye ukunika iingcebiso ngokugqithiseleyo.
Mhlawumbi uyazi ngoku ukuba ngaba okanye ungaxeleli abazali bakho yinto efanelekileyo. Zibuze ukuthi yintoni elula ukujongana nombuzo othi "Uza kuba nini na umbuzo", okanye uphulaphule indlela zonke ezi "ziphoso zakho"?
Eminye inkxaso engcono kakhulu ingavela kubantakwabo okanye ngabazala.
Eyona nto ingcono ukufumana abantu abambalwa abalungileyo ukuba bathethelele-ngokukhawuleza ukuba umntu abebize kule mihla embi, okanye enze unxibelelwano lwamehlo kwintlanganiso yeentsapho ukuba kukho iifayile ezingalunganga .
Kuyafana kunye nabahlobo.
Uyazi abahlobo bakho bhetele, kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo unokuzijonga ngokukhawuleza ukuba ngubani ongaxeleli. (Abacebisi abacebisi, abagxeki, kunye nalabo abangenzi kakuhle kwiimeko zentlalo, ngokukodwa.)
Musa ukuzibophezela ukuba utshele umntu nje ngokuba ungumhlobo omhle. Kungenzeka ukuba umhlobo wakho omhle akayena mntu ulungele ukuzithemba, kwaye umhlobo omhle emsebenzini uya kuba ngumntu ogqibeleleyo ukufuna inkxaso evela kuyo.
Yenza ukhetho olusekelwe kwinto efanelekileyo kakhulu kuwe, kwaye ingekelwe kwisisombululo sokuba ubani "ufanele" ukwazi.
Ukuxelela ihlabathi
Unakho ukhetho lokuxelela wonke umntu malunga neengxaki zakho zokungabikho. Unokwenza isimemezelo kumajelo asekuhlaleni, okanye unokuzama ukukhupha ibhola oyibhalayo.
Kukho ubuchule kunye nokuqhayisa ukuba ikhulu leepesenti livule. Eminye inzuzo enkulu kunikwa inkxaso evela kubantu abaninzi , ukukwazi ukwabelana ngeengxaki zakho ngaphandle kokwesaba "ukufunyanwa," kwaye, ukuba kuvela, kulula ukuxhaswa kwabantu , ukuba unqumle ukuxhaswa unyango lwakho lokuzala.
Ngaphezu koko, xa uthetha malunga nokungabikho komntwana, ukhuthaza bonke abazama ukukhulelwa kuluntu . Le nto ibaluleke kakhulu.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, kufuneka ulungele ukujongana neengcamango ezingalunganga kunye nabantu abangazi njani ukuphatha ezi zifundo ngendlela ebuhlungu.
Oko Ukwabelwana, Okokuzigcina Kukho
Kanye kunye nesigqibo sokuba ngubani onokukuxelela, kuya kufuneka uqwalasele nento ofuna ukuyibelana ngayo. Esi sinqumo senu sodwa sokuba nguwe kuphela wena kunye nomlingane wakho onokwenza. Akukho zimpendulo ezichanekileyo okanye ezingalunganga, kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo kukho izimo ezinzima ezinokufuna ukucinga ngazo.
Ngokomzekelo, izinto onokuzenza okanye ongafuni ukuzabelana ziquka ...
- Iinkcukacha zezinto ezibangela ukungabikho kokusweleka : Oku kunokukuvula ukufikelela kwiingcebiso ezingaphezulu ezingafunekiyo okanye izigwebo. Kwakhona, ukuba iqabane lakho elingenasiphene, kufuneka ufumane imvume yabo yokwabelana. Kwinqanaba elongezelelweyo leenkcukacha zokwabelana, kunokukuvumela ukuba ufundise abanye oko kubangela ukuba kungabikho ukukhulelwa kwabantwana.
- Xa uphakathi komjikelo wonyango : Ukuxelela abantu kuthetha ukuba uya kuba nenkxaso xa ufuna kakhulu, kwaye oku kunokunceda. Kwimeko engalunganga, mhlawumbi unokuba nabantu abaninzi bebuza, "ukuba kusebenza." Ukuba umjikelo awuphumelelanga, ukufuna ukwabelana ngolwazi nabantu abaninzi banokuba buhlungu. Abanye bafumana ukwabelana ngolunye uhlobo lweendaba ze-cathartic. Kukhethwa ngabanye.
- Xa ekugqibeleni ufumana umphumo wokuvavanya ukukhulelwa okulungileyo: Ingxoxo-mboleko ngexesha lokuxelela abantu abakhulelweyo bakho ngokuqhubekayo, phakathi kokuvelisa kunye nokungenasiphelo. Ngaba ufanele ulinde ukwabelana uze ufumane intliziyo? Ukufikelela ekupheleni kwekota yokuqala? Okanye hamba phambili kwaye wabelane ngomhla oya kubhala ngentonga? Kukhethwa ngokukhethekileyo, kwaye kukho ubuqili kunye nokuqhelanisela kuzo zonke izigqibo kulowo.
Inkxaso evela kwamanye amaqabane ekujonganeni nokungenzi lutho
Kubalulekile ukufumana inkxaso evela kwalabo abaqondayo ukungabikho. Iqela lenkxaso yendawo, efana ne- RESOLVE , okanye uluntu olusakhulayo lwentsebenziswano lwentlalo luyizinto ezinobungozi.
Ngelixa umhlobo wakho ongcono kakhulu unokuba ngumphulaphuli omkhulu, usenokuba ufuna ukuthetha nabantu abangathi, "Ndiyifumana, kuba ndilapho." Khumbula ukuba nangona abahlobo bakho nabanentsapho bakho abafuna ukuxhasa kwaye baqonde, kunokuba nzima kubo, ukuba bangazange bangene kwimingeni efanayo.