Myekeni kwimikhwa engcolileyo ekuphanga amandla enengqondo.
Njengoko umbhali wezinto ezi-13 ezibukhali abantu abazenzayo, "Ndihlala ndibuzwa ukuba uluhlu lusebenza njani kumzali. Njengokwakhiwa kwamandla engqondo kunoma yimuphi ummandla wobomi bakho, ukuba ngumzali oqinileyo ngengqondo kukho konke ukulawula iimvakalelo zakho, ukulawula iingcamango zakho, nokuziphatha kakuhle-nangona uvakalelwa kukuba ukuziphatha komntwana wakho kuya kukuqhuba.
Xa kuziwa ekwakheni ingqondo yengqondo, imikhwa emibi ingakuvimba ukuba ungene kwizinto ezipheleleyo. Okubi nakakhulu, ukuzibandakanya kwezi ziqhelo ezingekho emzimbeni kunokunokuphazamisa nokukwazi komntwana wakho ukuqina ngokwengqondo . Nazi izinto ezili-13 izinto abazali abanamandla abazenzayo:
1. Ukuchitha ixesha lokuzixhalabisa.
Abazali abaqinileyo abanalo ugibe lokucinga, "Umntwana uzama ukundihlwaya," okanye "Akunjalo abantwana bam abaziphatha." Bayazi ukuba ukuziva bazibuhlungu ngokwabo baya kulibazisa ukulungisa ingxaki. Bayazisombulula ingxaki-nokuba ngaba bajongana nemiba yokuziphatha okanye iingxaki zemali-ngaphandle kokuchitha ixesha elifuna ukuba bafanele.
2. Banike amandla abo.
Awuyi kuva umzali oqinileyo ngengqondo uthi izinto ezinjengokuthi, "Umntwana wam undicaphukisa," okanye "Undishukumisa." Esikhundleni sokumangalela umntwana wakhe, bagcina amandla abo kwaye bamkele uxanduva olupheleleyo kwiimvakalelo zabo nokuziphatha kwabo.
Bayaqonda ukuba rhoqo xa bebandakanya umzabalazo wamandla okanye balahlekelwa ngumsindo, banikela amandla abo abantwana.
3. Gculela kwishintsho.
Njengabantwana bakhula kwaye bahlakulele, ukuziphatha kwabo kunye nesimo sengqondo - kunye nobudlelwane bomzali / umntwana - rhoqo utshintsha. Abazali abanamandla bayamkela olo tshintsho kwaye bazimisele ukuhlaziya rhoqo iindlela zabo zokubeletha ngokufanelekileyo.
4. Ukukhutshwa kwamandla kwizinto abazikwazi ukulawula.
Abazali abanamandla bajolise ekuthinteleleni-kunokuba balawulwe - abantwana babo. Unako ukunika umntwana izakhono kunye nezixhobo eziyimfuneko ukumnceda ukuba ngumfundi olungileyo, kodwa awukwazi ukumnyanzela ukuba athole amabakala amahle. Unokubonelela ngemiphumo eyenza ukulandela imigaqo ekhangayo, kodwa awukwazi ukulawula ukhetho olwenziwa ngumntwana wakho.
5. Bakhathazeke ngokuthanda abanye.
Abantu abanamandla abanamandla ngokwemilinganiselo yabo, nangona abanye abantu bengavumi. Abayikwesaba ukuba batyholwa "ngokungqongqo" okanye "ukungcola." Abangenisi ukunyanzeliswa ukuba babe njengabanye abazali kwaye abacaphukiyo xa umntwana wabo athi "ngabazali ababenzima kakhulu nanini. "
6. Ukwesaba ukuthatha ingozi ebalwa.
Abazali abanamandla basebenzisa ixesha lokubala ingozi ejongene nabantwana. Bayazi umfana oneminyaka eyi-14 onqaba ukugqoka ibhatyi kwimozulu epholileyo ubhekene nengozi yangempela kunokuba xa esenkundleni yebhola kwaye bakhetha ukulwa kwabo ngokufanelekileyo. Bazama kanzima ukulinganisela imfuno yomntwana wokuzimela kunye nokukhuseleka.
7. Hlalani kwixesha elidlulileyo.
Abazali abanamandla banokuthula kunye nobuntwana babo. Abazami ukulungiselela ukukhuliswa kanzima ngokugxotha abantwana babo kwaye abanenzanga ngenjongo yokwenza okuchaseneyo nento yonke abazali babo abayenzayo ukuze baqinisekise ubungqina.
Esikhundleni sokugxila kwixesha labo elidlulileyo, bazama kanzima ukuba ngumzali ongcono kakhulu onokuba namhlanje.
8. Yenza iimpazamo ezifanayo ngokugqithiseleyo.
Bonke abazali benza iimpazamo , kodwa abazali abaqinileyo ngokwengqondo bafunda kwizinto zabo. Xa bekhuni kakhulu kubantwana babo okanye belahlekelwa ukuphosa kwabo, bajonga ukungaphumeleli kwabo njengamathuba okuphucula izakhono zabo ukwenzela ukuba bakwazi ukwenza ngcono ngokuzayo.
9. Hlasela abanye abantu impumelelo.
Abazali abanamandla abanokuzifanisa kunye nabantwana babo kwiintsapho ezibajikelezile. Abafisi ukuba abantwana babo bangabanomdla njengabantwana bommelwane okanye baqaphele njengezingane zabo zomzala.
Kunoko, bazinikela amandla abo ekuncedeni abantwana babo ukuba bakwazi ukufikelela ngokupheleleyo.
10. Nika emva kokusilela kokuqala.
Ubazali ngokuqhelekileyo malunga nesilingo kunye nephutha kwaye xa abazali abanamandla ngokwengqondo bafumana ukungaphumeleli, bazimisele ukuzama kwakhona. Ukuba umntwana wabo wenqaba ukwenza imisebenzi yanamhlanje, abayigqibayo ukuba uzimisele ukuba uvila. Ngokufanayo, ukuba iqhinga elitsha lokuqeqesha likhokelela ekuphazamiseni okukhulu, abazihoxisi ubomi obushushu . Kunoko, baqhubeka befundisa izakhono ezintsha kwaye bafaka ixabiso labo ukuze bancede abantwana babo babe ngcono.
11. Ukwethusa ixesha elilodwa.
Abazali abanamandla abaqinileyo bayakubona ukubaluleka kokuhlela ixesha lokuba bahlaziye iibhetri zabo. Bayazi ukuba ngumntu ongcono uya kubanceda babe ngumzali ongcono. Bazimisele ngokukhawuleza ukuba baphumelele kwinxaxheba yabo yokubeletha ukuze bahlangabezane nokukhula kwabo ngokwabo.
12. Uvakalelwa kukuba ihlabathi libahlawulise nantoni na.
Abazali abanamandla abanokucinga ukuba iphela iyabakhokelela ngokupheleleyo-abaziphatha ngayo abantwana abaphuma kwisibeleko ngolwazi kunye nezakhono abadinga ukuzenza ngabantu abadala. Kunoko, bayaqonda ukuba nangona ukukhulisa abantwana ngumsebenzi onzima, lilungelo lokuba banelungelo lokuba nalo.
13. Lindela iziphumo ezikhawulezileyo.
Abazali abanamandla baqonda ukuba iingxaki zokuziphatha azitshintshi ebusuku. Ngokuphindaphindiweyo, ukuphindaphinda kuyisisiseko ekuncedeni umntwana ukuba afunde kwaye bazimisele ukubonelela ngamathuba omntwana ukuzitshintsha ukuziphatha kwakhe.