Iingongoma ezibalulekileyo esifanele sizikhumbule xa sixoxa xa abantwana bebodwa
Kungekudala, bekukho i-spate yamabali malunga nezingane ezamiswa ngamapolisa xa zizama ukudlala epakini okanye zihambe kwivenkile ngaphandle kwongamela abantu abadala. Enye yeempawu ezibalaseleyo yintsapho yaseMaldinali, ibali layo lenze iinqununu zezizwe xa iiNkonzo zoKhusela zabaNtwana ziphanda abazali ukuba bavumele abantwana babo, abaneminyaka eli-10 no-6, bahambe ekhaya bephuma kwipaki eseduze.
Kwiinyanga ezimbalwa kamva, abantwana baphinde baphinde baphinde baphumele ngamapolisa ukuba babe paki yodwa. (Imimiselo kaMasipala waseMadrid ukuba umntwana kufuneka abe ubuncinane ubuneminyaka engama-8 ubudala ukuba ashiywe yedwa kwindlu okanye imoto kwaye umntwana kufuneka abe ngumntwana oneminyaka engama-13 ukuba abele umntwana omnye.)
Leli bali, nabanye abafana nalo, bayeke iingxabano ezivuthayo malunga nabazali babo okanye urhulumente - kufuneka bathathe isigqibo xa abantwana bengenakugcinwa phantsi kwaye ziziphi iimeko. Baye bakhuthaza kwakhona enye ingqungquthela yokuxubusha malunga nenzuzo kunye neengxaki zezinto ezibizwa ngokuba yi-"free-range" yokubeletha, okukhuthaza abantwana ukuba banamathele ngakumbi kwaye benze izinto ezininzi ngokwabo ngokubhekisele kwi-helicopter "yokubeletha, eyona Isitayela somzali esibhalwe ngokufutshane-ngamanye amaxesha isondele ngokusondeleyo-ulawulo kunye nokubandakanyeka.
Njengomntwana wabafuduki abangenanto yokukhetha kodwa ukuba ndihlale ekhaya ndedwa kwaye ngamele umntakwabo oneminyaka engama-3 ubudala, ndinokuthi ngaphandle kokungabaza ukuba kukho iingenelo ezihlukeneyo kunye nokuphazamiseka ukuba ngumntwana osemhlophe umntwana kwaye uxanduva lomnye umntu.
Ndicinga ngeendlela ezininzi senze inhlanhla ukuba akukho nto eyenzekayo ngelixa ndinolawulo, ingakumbi kuba ndandingenamava kakhulu ukuba ndikwazi ukujongana nemingeni eninzi enokuthi iyenze. Kwaye ngelixa ndiphethe, ndenza ukuba ndikhule ngokukhawuleza kwaye ndifunde indlela yokunyamekela mna kunye nomnye umntu, kwakukho uxinzelelo olukhulu kunye nokuxhalabisa okuhambelanayo nayo yonke into yokuzimela, ingabi khankanya into yokuba andinayo inkululeko yokungahlali icinga ngokukhuselekileyo kwaye uyonwabele ukuba yinkwenkwe.
Kwimihlathi amaninzi endiyifunayo malunga ne-saga yale ntsapho yaseMaldins kunye nabanye abafana nabo abakhuthaza ukuvumela abantwana ukuba "bahlole" abangagqithwanga, ndifumanisa ukuba amanqaku amanqaku afunekayo malunga nale mbambano alahleki kwiingxoxo. Ezinye iingqwalasela eziphambili ezifunekayo ukuba zifakwe kwiingxoxo ezingaphezulu xa abantwana kufuneka babe ngabodwa zibandakanya:
- Ingxoxo inokubeka ingozi engozini - ukungabi nezingane ezilungiselelwe. Izingane zifuna ukwazi indlela yokujongana neengongelo ezikhuselekileyo, nokuba ingaba zihamba zihamba phi na. Ihlabathi alinakuzaliswa neengongelo ezinobungozi ngeenxa zonke, kodwa zikhona ingozi, nokuba ingavela kumntu ongaziwayo okanye omaziyo okuthetha ukuba benzakalise ; ingozi yengozi, njengokungena kwendlela emanzi xa uwela esitratweni okanye usondele kakhulu kwiivili zebhasi yesikolo xa umqhubi engakwazi ukukubona; okanye ingozi ekhaya. (Ngokubaluleka kweengcebiso zezokuphepha kwebhasi yezingane, funda, " Ukhuseleko lwebhasi yeSikolo." ) Ingaba umntwana wakho uyazi ukuba wenzeni xa umntu omaziyo emcela ukuba 'agcine iimfihlakalo' kuwe okanye uzama ukuvalela? Kuthekani ukuba umntu ongumntu ongenamdla-uthi, intombazana enomomothekayo-uyamondela aze angene "kwindawo yakhe"? Ngaba uyayazi iingcamango ngeentlobano zesondo zobuntwana , kwaye unjalo? Ingaba uyazi ukuba yenzeni ukuthintela ukukhahla kunye nento enokuyenza xa umntakwabo omncinci ukhahlela?
- Abantwana abasebancinci abanalo ithuba lokuthatha izigqibo ngxakeko. Amaziko okunakekelwa kwabantwana, abantwana bezingane kunye nabazali - baqeqeshelwa kwiCPR nakwezinye iinkonzo zonyango. Xa abazali beshiya abantwana abancinci bodwa okanye bephethe abantakwabo abancinci, kufuneka baqinisekise ukuba umntu usekufuphi kwaye ulungele ukunyathela ukuba kukho imeko engxamisekileyo.
- Kuthekani ukuba kukho into eyenzeka kumntakwabo omncinci xa umntwana okhulile ephethe? Cinga ngemiphumo. Ukutshatyalaliswa ngumfokazi kungabonakali, kodwa izingozi azikho. Izingozi zenzeke nangona zikhulile, kwaye sonke siyazi ukuba kunokuba nzima ukuba uhlale ekhangele. Umntwana unokuvakalelwa njani xa eziva enoxanduva lomntakwabo omncinci?
- Kwezinye iintsapho, ukushiya abantwana ngaphandle komntu omdala kuyona khetho abayibona eyona nto ingcono kwiintsapho zabo. Ukunyamekelwa kwabantwana kungeyinto abangenakukwazi ukuyisebenzisa, okanye banokugqiba isigqibo sokuba yinqabileyo yokuba abantwana babo babe bodwa ekhaya. Abazali basebenzayo badinga ukhetho lokunakekela abantwana kangcono kwizinga likazwelonke.
- Awazi ukuba ngubani osondele kumntwana wakho. Umngcipheko ongasemzini ungase ube yinto engasongelo njengengozi eyenziwa ngumntu wakho umntwana, into yokuba awukwazi ukuba luhlobo luni lomntu oza kusebenzisana nomntwana wakho. Abantu abadala abakhula ngokuzeleyo baye bakhohliswa baze baxhomekeka ukuba benze okuthile ngabaculi abaqilileyo okanye abaxoki. Xa abantwana bezikolweni, ngokomzekelo, ootitshala nabasebenzi baye (bafuna) ukuba baqinisekise ukuba akukho zidalwa eziyingozi ezikufutshane nomntwana wakho; kodwa wazi njani oya kungena kuloo ndawo yokutyela okanye igumbi lokuhlambela?
- Izingane ziphela - abantwana. Iingcali zokukhusela ziye zaqhuba iimvavanyo ezingenakubalwa apho abantwana abafundiswa ngabazali ukuba bangathethi kubantu abangaziwayo ngokuzithandela bahamba nabantu ababengamazi kwiimeko ezithile (xa umntu ongowesihambi wayengumntu onobungane owabacela ukuba abancede bafumane i-puppy elahlekileyo, njengokuba). Kwaye abantu abancinci nabaselula abakwazi ukulibala okanye ukuphazamiseka ngelixa bewela isitalato baze bagwebe kwiimeko ezithile. Abantwana abancinci abanakulindelwa ukuba bafanisane nomntu onomnqweno wokubacekisa okanye ukuba bahlale beqaphele kwaye bajonge ingozi kwindawo yabo yokhuseleko kunye nenhlalakahle yomntakwabo omncinci.
- Abanye abantwana banokulungele kwaye banako ukudlula abanye. Abantwana bahluke kakhulu, kwaye nangona enye inkunzi inokuba yinto ephezulu ekugxileni kwaye ilinde ngamaxesha onke ngexesha elilodwa, omnye umntwana oneminyaka efanayo unokulibala okanye ukuphazamiseka lula. Apho omnye umntwana enokuziva enamandla ngenxa yokuba noxanduva lokuba yedwa okanye ukunyamekela umntakwabo, omnye unokuziva uxinzelelo olukhulu kodwa ukwenza ukuba abazali bakhe bavuyiswe. Ngaphambi kokuba unqume oko kulungileyo kumntwana wakho, qaphela indlela umntwana wakho azizwa ngayo ngeli nqanaba nexesha kwaye ufuna ntoni ngokwenene.
- Imithetho yokukhusela abantwana ikhona ukuzama ukukunceda bonke abantwana kwaye kubaluleke kakhulu kubantwana abazali babo abangazi ukuba ziphi na abantwana babo okanye ukuba benzani. Nangona abazali abaninzi bekhuthaza ukuphucula imigaqo malunga nokuba abantwana bangakwazi njani kwaye bengenakukwazi ukuzimela bengabakho, abazali abanomthwalo owaziyo apho abantwana babo bahlala khona ngamaxesha onke, ngelishwa akunjalo kumzali ngamnye apho. Sinokukhetha njani ukuba ngabaphi abazali ababenomdla kunye nabanomdla kwaye ngaba ngubani abayekanga? Ngaba sinemithetho eyahlukileyo yemithetho yeentlobo ezahlukeneyo zabazali, kwaye ngubani osenza isigqibo sokuba yeyiphi na?
- Imithetho iyahluka ukusuka kummandla ukuya kwimeko, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ukusuka kwelinye icala ukuya kwelinye. Abanye, njengoMaldin, baneemfuno zeminyaka ubudala xa bethetha ukuba abantwana bangabodwa okanye baphethe. Ezinye iindawo azicacanga. Ukuntuleka kokufana kufakazela ukuba kunzima kangakanani ukusebenzisa umgaqo omnye kubo bonke, kwaye kwenza kube nzima kubazali abazama ukwenza oko bacinga ukuba bangcono kwiintsapho zabo.
- Kukho iindlela ezininzi zokukhuthaza ukuzimela nokukhula. Ukuvumela abantwana ukuba bahambe esikolweni okanye kwindawo yokudlala yedwa okanye basebenzise indlu yokuhlambela ephakathi ngokwabo akukuphela kwendlela yokukhuthaza ukuzimela. Ukuba nabo bephethe imisebenzi yendlu yasemakhaya kwaye banemisebenzi emininzi ekhaya (ukuqinisekisa ukuba ukutya kweefilesi kunye nezitya zamanzi zizele okanye zikunceda ukuba uhlele amamenyu ezakha imveliso yokutya enempilo kwintsapho yonke, umzekelo) nazo ziindlela ezikhuthazayo zokukhuthaza ukuzimela kunye nomsebenzi wokuxanduva.
Umgca ophezulu: Ukuba unquma ukuba abantwana bakho bakulungele ukuhamba bodwa, jonga imigaqo kwimeko yakho kwaye qi niqiniseke ukuba uzilungiselele - kwaye uhambe kunye nemigangatho yokhuseleko rhoqo ngezikhathi ngezikhathi. Yaye ukuba wena okanye abantwana bakho ufuna ukulinda, zinike ixesha. "Akusiyo" i-helicoptering "ukuba umntwana wakho okanye ufuna ukulinda ade afike esikolweni esiphakathi ngaphambi kokuba athathele imisebenzi yokusebenza. Ukuzimela nokukhuseleko zibalulekile, kwaye abantwana baya kukhula ngokukhawuleza - konke kungekudala.