Akuqhelekanga ukuba abantwana bafune ukuyeka umsebenzi. Ingaba liqela lezemidlalo, isixhobo somculo, okanye iqela abaye bajoyina, ngamanye amaxesha abafuni nje ukuligcina.
Abazali abaninzi abangaqinisekanga ukuba kulungile ukuba umntwana wabo "ayeke ukuyeka" okanye amphoqe ukuba aqedele oko aqalisile.
Xa kuziwa ekwenzeni isigqibo malunga nokuba kufuneka uvumele umntwana wakho ukuba ayeke iqela lezemidlalo, akukho mpendulo 'efanelekileyo'.
Kunoko, kufuneka ucinge ngesiphi isifundo ofuna umntwana wakho afunde.
Phanda Isizathu Sokuba Umntwana Wakho Ufuna Ukuyeka
Ukuba umntwana wakho uza kuwe esithi ufuna ukuyeka, yenza uphando. Zama ukufika phantsi kweyona nto eyenza umntwana wakho afune ukuyeka. Ingaba ikhethwa ngabanye abantwana? Ngaba umqeqeshi wakhe uyakhala? Ngaba uyayikhathaza?
Buza imibuzo efana nale, "Ngaba kukho ezinye iindawo ozithandayo?" okanye "Ngaba kukho nto eya kwenza ukuba ibe ngcono?" Ngamanye amaxesha, kukho iingxaki ezincinane okanye izithintelo ezincinci ezenza izinto zibuhlungu kubantwana. Ukutshintsha okumbalwa kunokuphucula umbono wakhe.
Ukuba awuzange uye kuyo nayiphi na indlela, kunokunceda ukumjonga. Unokufumana ingqondo engcono yezinto ezenzekayo xa uzibona. Thetha kumqeqeshi kwaye ubone ukuba umqeqeshi uye waqaphela naziphi na iingxaki.
Emva kokuba unempendulo yesizathu sokuba ufuna ukuyeka, ingxaki-ukulungisa ingxaki kunye. Kukho isisombululo esilula-njengokuncedisa umntwana wakho ukuba atyelele umqeqeshi wakhe malunga neengxaki okanye ukumnceda athethe yena.
Khawucinge Ngomntwana Wakho
Kubalulekile ukuqwalasela isimo sengqondo somntwana wakho xa wenza isigqibo malunga nokuba kufuneka yini na ukuba avunyelwe ukuyeka. Ukuba ungumntwana onomdla ongakwazi ukuyeka ngenxa yokuba engeyena mdlali obalaseleyo kwiqela, kunokuba kunengqondo ukumkhuthaza ukuba aqhubeke edlala ukuze afunde ukuzithethelela .
Nangona kunjalo, umntwana okhuphisana kakhulu ngokwemvelo, unokukhathazeka. Ukuba iqela alinomngeni, liyakwenza ngcono kwelinye iqela.
Ufuna Ufundani?
Cinga ngezakhono zobomi ofuna umntwana wakho afunde kwaye anqume ukuba luni na eli likwazi ukumfundisa. Ngaba ufuna ukuba akhe amandla angqondo ukuze afunde ukuba unamandla kunokuba acinge? Ngaba unethemba lokuba uya kuqonda ukuba ufuna ukulandela ngokuzimisela kwakhe kwiqela?
Okanye ngaba uthanda ukufunda ukuba kulungile ukuzama izinto ezintsha kwaye ukuba akusebenzi, kulungile ukuyeka? Okanye, mhlawumbi ufuna ukuba azi ukuba ubomi bufutshane kakhulu ukuba aqhubeke esenza into ayesayo.
Ezinye iintsapho zinomthetho othi, "Asiyikuyeka" kwaye kubalulekile ukuba bahlale begqiba oko baqalayo. Basenokukhathazeka ukuba ukuvumela umntwana ukuba ayeke kuya kuthetha ukuba uhlala eshiya xa ukuhamba kunzima. Bangafuna nokuba umntwana wabo azi ukuba izibophelelo zibalulekile kwaye ukushiya kunokuchaphazela abanye abantu kwiqela.
Ezinye iintsapho zikholelwa ukuba ubomi bunzima kwaye ukuba awuyithandi into ethile, kutheni ukuba ungenayo? Abazali abathatha le ndlela banokuvuyisa umntwana wabo kwaye bafuna ukuba azi ukuba unokuzikhethela.
Basenokukholelwa ukuba ukunyanzelisa umntwana ukuba enze into ayithandiyo kunokumenza anganqikazi ukuzama izinto ezintsha kwakhona ngenxa yokwesaba uya kubambelela.
Amanqwanqwa
Ukuba uhambe kuphela kwizinto ezimbalwa, akayi kuyenza inzame. Mxelele ukuba kufuneka athathe inxaxheba kwisithuba esithile ngaphambi kokuba anqume ukuba ufuna ukuyeka. Ukuba, emva kokuyibetha ngokufanelekileyo, uzimisele ukuyeka, cinga enye into engasenayo imfuno zayo.
Ukuba wajoyina iqela lezemidlalo kuba ufuna ukuba asebenze ngokusemzimbeni, ngaba kukho enye imidlalo okanye umsebenzi oya kumnika amandla?
Ukuba kunjalo, cinga ukumvumela ukuba ayeke emva kokuba ebhalise ngempumelelo kwimisebenzi emitsha kwaye acacise ukuba akakwazi ukuyeka umsebenzi omtsha.
Yenza i-United Front
Kungakhathaliseki ukuba uthathe isigqibo sokwenza ntoni, qiniseka ukuba wena kunye neqabane lakho nilungelelanise phambi komntwana wakho. Ukuba ucinga ukuba "uTata uya kundivumela ukuba ndiyeke kodwa uMama akayi kuthi," uya kuvula iingxaki ezintsha.
Thetha nomlingane wakho malunga nomcimbi wokuyeka ngaphandle kokuba umntwana wakho afike. Yiza kwisivumelwano uze utshele umntwana wakho nantoni na oye wanquma. Qiniseka ukuba bobabini ebhodini kwaye unokulandela ngokucwangcisa.
Khumbula, ukuba nayiphi na iqela elidlala kuyo okanye liyeka ukudlala, alibalulekanga kunezifundo awaza kufunda. Gcina ugxininiso ekuguquleni amava kwisifundo sempilo yonke.
> Imithombo:
> Morin, Amy. Iziganeko 13 Abazali Abanamandla Abayikwenza . ENew York, NY: HarperCollins Abapapashi; 2017.
> Tough, Paul. Indlela abantwana abaphumelela ngayo: iGrit, Inzululwazi, kunye namandla afihliweyo. ENew York, NY: Houghton Mifflin Publishing Inkampani; 2012.