Ubudala obufanelekileyo kunye nezibonelelo zokusebenzisa ixesha
Ixesha eliqhelekileyo liqhelekileyo into abazali abayifumene ngengozi xa abantwana babo baqala ukuvavanya imida yento evumelekileyo yokuziphatha. Ngokomzekelo, umama angamxelela umntanana ukuba angamthandi umzalwana wakhe ngamaxesha amaninzi kwaye uqhubeka ewenza-okanye ngakumbi, xa ekhangele kakuhle kwaye eyancwina. Ngaloo ndlela nangoko, amaninzi amaninzi aya kufumana ixesha ngenxa yokuba afuna ukuba umntwana aqonde ukuba ukuziphatha akuvumelekanga kwaye ufuna ukufaka igunya labo njengabazali.
Ngoko, ukusuka encinci ukuya esihlalweni esiphakamileyo okanye kwenye indawo kwaye iqala ukuphuma ekhayeni.
Sincoma ukuba ungaqalisi ukusebenzisa le ndlela njengendlela ebalulekileyo yokuqeqesha ade umntwana wakho eneminyaka emi-2 okanye ngaphezulu. Ngelo xesha, abancinci baqala ukuqonda isizathu kunye nesiphumo kunye nokuphuma kwexesha kuya kusebenza (ngokusetyenziswa rhoqo nangokufanelekileyo) ngenxa yale ngqiqo. Baqala nokufumana ukuzithiba okungakumbi kwaye banokwenza ukhetho (umzekelo, malunga nokuhlala okanye ukushiya ixesha eliphumayo) elongeza kwimpumelelo yale ndlela. Ngaphambi kwelo xesha, ngokuqinisekileyo ungasebenzisa isihlalo esiphezulu ukuba uhlukanise umntwana wakho ekulimazeni omnye umntwana okanye ukulimaza ipropati, kodwa bancinci kakhulu ukuqonda ukuba into abayenzayo yaba negalelo kwaye uya kuphazamiseka xa bengabonakali "yifumane" nangemva kwexesha elingaphandle.
Ngoku, makhe sijonge ezinye iindlela zokwenza ixesha ngendlela efanelekileyo ukuze wena kunye nomntwana wakho ungancedwa kakhulu kule ndlela yokuziphatha.
Okokuqala, Yakha i-Setting Right
Ukubeka okufanelekileyo kubalulekile. Injongo yokugqibela yokuziphatha, emva koko, kukunceda abantwana bethu bafunde ukuziphatha kwabo. Singafaka ulawulo lwangaphandle kubo ekuqaleni, kodwa asifuni ukwenza oko ngonaphakade. Ukumisela indawo engabonakaliyo ngexesha elimnceda kumenza ukhetho olungcono.
Ukuba ixesha lakho eliphumayo lisesigumbi sokuhlala phambi komabonwakude okanye kwindawo yokudlala okanye kwindawo yokudlala apho abantakwabo bahamba khona, umntwana wakho uya kuphazamiseka kwaye unokunandipha ixesha lokuphuma. Okona kuncinci, akayi kuchitha ixesha elide ecinga ngezinto ezenzekile ukuba unayo uDora uMqhubi ukuba acinge ngako.
Enye indawo engayi kusebenza yindawo apho unokufumana ingqalelo kuwe okanye omnye umntu omdala. Ngendlela ebenzeka ngayo ukwenza izinto eziza kubangela impendulo kuwe ukuba usondele. Ingxenye yoko kutheni ixesha eliphuma kwimisebenzi kukungabikho okufutshane kuwe. Akufuneki ukuba kuhlanjululwe, kodwa akufuneki ukuba lixesha elihle. Ukongezelela, ixesha lokuphuma lingaba liyimfuneko kuwe, umzali. Ikunika umzuzwana ukuphinda uphinde uzinzile kwaye uvumeleke ukuba uphume nawuphi na umsindo okanye ukukhungatheka okungenzeka ukwakhiwe ngenxa yokuziphatha komntwana wakho. Ukuba uhlezi khona phambi kwakho, ekhangele kuwe, unokuba ulingeka ukuba uhambe kancane okanye inkulumo. Oku kunokwenzeka ukunciphisa inzuzo yexesha.
Indawo efanelekileyo yexesha eliphumayo likhuselekileyo kwaye likhutshwe ngabantwana, kungekho ziphazamiso. Kufuneka ukwazi ukubona nokubeka iliso encinci yakho, kodwa akufanele abe noqhagamshelwano lwamehlo ngqo nawe.
Kwakhona akufanele kube lula kakhulu. Isitulo esincinci okanye isitulo somntwana esisekwe kwinqanaba elingaphandle kwendawo yokudlela okanye elinye igumbi elisetyenzisiweyo lincinci.
Ixesha lokusebenzisa ixesha lokuphuma
I-Supernanny ineenkqubo ezifanelekileyo zexesha. Ubuncwane bakhe bubonelela ixesha elifanelekileyo lixesha kwaye likhuthaza ukusetyenziswa kwexesha kwiimeko ezininzi. Abazali kunye nabanakekeli bavame ukusebenzisa ixesha elide njengendlela yokunceda abancinci banqabile okanye benze umsebenzi wokubandezeleka kwaye ngamanye amaxesha kuthatha ixesha elingaphezu kwemizuzu emi-2, kodwa ingasetyenziselwa ukwenza utshintsho kwezinye iindidi zokuziphatha.
Ngezinye iinkqubo kwaye xa zenziwe ngokufanelekileyo, ixesha lokuphuma li nosebenza kwezinye iimeko kunye.
Ngokomzekelo, isebenza naluphi na ukuziphatha ofuna ukuba umntwana wakho amise: ukubetha , ukuphonsa izinto, ukukrazula endlini , ukukrazula incwadi, ukunyuka kwebhuksi , ukuyibiza igama. Ngaphezu koko, kusebenza ngokunjalo ukuze ufumane umntwana wakho ukuba aqale ukuziphatha: uthathe amathoyizi , ugqoke, ufike kwigumbi lokuhlambela ukuhlamba, njl.
Amanyathelo kwixesha eliphumelelayo
Amanyathelo athatyathwa emva kobuchule beStanny's Naughty Step . Kwaye ngenxa yezizathu ezifanelekileyo: Ezi nyathelo, ngokulula, zisebenza.
- Isilumkiso : Xa umntwana wakho engenzi kakuhle, unike isilumkiso kuqala. Mxelele, "Ndakucela ukuba uyeke ukutshumula izicathulo zakho ngaphandle. Ukuba ukwenza kwakhona, kuya kufuneka ube nexesha." Melana nomnqweno wokuthetha okanye umyalezo wakho uya kulahleka.
- Inkcazo : Ukuba umntwana wakho unqabile isilumkiso sakho, landela uze uthathe ixesha lakho elikhethiweyo ngaphandle kwendawo. Xa ehleli, cacisa isizathu sokuba ukhona. "Ndakucela ukuba uyeke ukuthabatha izicathulo zakho kwaye wazicima kwakhona. Ndibeka i-timer imizuzu emi-2 kwaye unokuvuka."
- Setha ixesha : Misela ixesha (umgaqo oqhelekileyo unemizuzu engama-1 ubudala) xa umntwana wakho ehleli kwaye ehlalise, uze ushiye indawo kwaye ungathethi kumntwana wakho okanye unika ingqalelo ngexesha lokuphuma. Ukuba umntanakho uyavuka, buyisela kuye ngexesha eliphuma kuyo indawo (ngokuphindaphindiweyo kangangoko kuyimfuneko) ngaphandle kokuthetha. Hlela kwakhona i-timer uze ushiye indawo.
- Inkcazelo yesiBini : Xa i-timer ihamba, buyela kumntwana wakho kwaye uphinde uchaze ngokuphindaphindiweyo ukuba kutheni kufuneka abe nexesha: "Ndakucela ukuba uyeke ukutshuqa izicathulo ngaphandle ngaphandle koko wenze njalo kwaye yingakho kufuneka ube nexesha . "
- Ukuxolisa : Cela umntwana wakho ukuba uthethelele ngokungaziphathi kakubi aze amkele uxolo xa linikelwa ngezwi lomntu. Ukuba akunjalo, nikela umntwana wakho isilumkiso uze unike elinye ixesha xa engakunikeli ukuxolisa ngokuthobeka.
- Ukuthandana : Emva kokufumana uxolo olwamkelekileyo, nikela umntwana wakho uthando lomzimba. Ukuqhawula, ukumbamba, ukutshatyalaza ngasemva kwaye "Ndiyakuthanda" kunceda umntwana wakho aqonde ukuba kungakhathaliseki ukuba uziphatha njani, uhlala uyamthanda kwaye uyamkhathalela.
- Ukuxolela kwaye Ulibale : Emva kokuba inkqubo iphelile, qhubela phambili kwimeko. Myeke nayiphi na intukuthelo, intukuthelo, kunye nokudumala kwaye vumela umntwana wakho abe ne-slate ecocekileyo. Melana nomnqweno wokukhupha okanye uqhubeke nokufundisa emva kokuba ixesha liphelile. Ingaba umntwana wakho uya kuphazamiseka ngale ndlela kwakhona? Kungenzeka ukuba (ingakumbi ukuba le yinto yokuqala yephulo) kodwa ukuba uyimisele ukulindela, isiqinisekiso sokuba uya kuphinda asebenze ngale ndlela kwakhona. Mnike ithuba lokwenza iimpazamo kwaye ufunde kuzo kwaye ngolunye usuku uya kuvuya xa ubona ukuziphatha kupheleka. Ukuba uhlala ubambelele ekuziphatheni okubi, kunjalo, lindele ukuba umntwana wakho uya kwenza okufanayo.
Kutheni Kuthetha Umzuzu Omnye Ngonyaka?
Xa usebenzisa ixesha lokufumana umntwana omemezayo ukufumana ukulawula ukukhwaza kwakhe, unike umntwana omncinci ixesha elide. Intukuthelo kunye nokukhungatheka kumntwana ongeyonto isisombululo ngokusekelwe kwiwashi kwaye ngamanye amaxesha imizamo yakho yokunceda ukulawula le meko ingenza kube nzima. Nika ixesha lakho elincinane ukuba usebenze, kodwa makumvumele ukuba akuvumelekanga ukuba ugijime ujikeleze indlu ukukhala okanye mhlawumbi uphazamise, nokuba kunjalo. Ekugqibeleni, uya kufunda ukuthatha isinyathelo emva kwakhe xa ecatshukile ekubeni sele unike ithuba lokususela ekuqaleni.
Xa usebenzisa ixesha njengendlela yokuyila ukuziphatha, ubeka umda kumntwana osele ehleliyo onokuthula. Olu hlobo lwexesha luphuma ngaphandle kweefowuni ukucinga ngokucebileyo kwinto eyenzekayo kunye nomntwana omncinci, umda wokuqwalasela kwakhe oku oku malunga nemizuzu emi-2. Njengoko umntwana wakho ekhula, ingqwalasela yakhe ihlala ixesha elide kwaye uyakwazi ukuhlanganisa iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zokucinga ngendlela acinga ngayo izenzo zakhe nemiphumo yabo.
Ngaba Umntwana Wakho OyiNtwana Uyiqonda Ngokucacileyo Yintoni Ukuxolisa?
Abanye abazali abanqweneli ukudibanisa eli nqanaba kwixesha labo ngaphandle kwenkqubo kwaye efanelekileyo. Iya kusebenza ngaphandle kwayo xa kulandelwa amanye amanyathelo kwaye uhambelana nokulandela kwakho. Kuyaqondakala ukuba kutheni abazali abanqwenela ukuba umntwana wabo athethe into engayiqondiyo okanye ayivale ngokwenene. Unokuva ngathi ufundisa ukuba uxoke.
Ukuxolisa kungaba yinyathelo elifanelekileyo, nangona kunjalo. Ukuqonda nokugxilwa kwezinto ezifana nokubulela kunye nokuzisola kuza kamva, kodwa okwangoku, ininzi yethu isasacela "Uyabonga" okanye "Ndiyaxolisa" ixesha ngalinye ukuze abantwana bethu basebenzise ukuhamba . Qinisekisa ukuba njengoko umntwana wakho ekhula, akayi kuba yimpumelelo yebhobhothi. Kufuneka uthathe ixesha ngokukhawuleza ukuba uchaze isizathu sokuba senze oko sikwenzayo ukuze ngelinye ilanga uza kuzaliseka ngokupheleleyo isenzo kunye nenjongo emva kwayo.
Umntwana wakho kufuneka afunde ukuba ukuxolisa kwenza omnye umntu azive engcono kwaye ahambe ngendlela ende ekulungiseni iimvakalelo kunye nolwalamano.
Ngaba Umntwana Wakho Uhlala Efuna Isixwayiso?
Phantse njalo, ewe. Abantwana abaselula kakhulu abanako ukuthabatha oko bakufundile kwimeko enye baze bayisebenzise kwenye imeko nokuba akunjani kuwe, umntu omdala.
Kukho, nangona kunjalo amaxesha apho isixwayiso asikho imfuneko. Ukuba usebenze ngokuziphatha ixesha elide, unako ukuvumela umntwana wakho ukuba azi ukuba kusengabikho isilumkiso. Yithi, "Usuke uphume ixesha lonke leveki kule ntsuku yokugubha phezu kwamanzi enja, ngoko andiyi kunika izilumkiso." Ukuba uyakwenza, uya kuhamba ngokukhawuleza. " Ukongezelela, ezo zenzo apho umntwana wakho akonakalisa omnye umntu kwaye uye wayenenkathazo kule nto phambi kokuba angadingi isixwayiso.
Enye imeko ingasebenza apha, kodwa kufuneka uqaphele isigwebo sakho. Ukuba umntanakho wenza okuthile ngenjongo yokufumana impendulo yakho okanye ubona ukubukeka okucacileyo kwendlela ebusweni bomntwana wakho obonisa ukuba uyazi oko akwenzile kakubi, ke akukho sixwayiso asikho imfuneko. Ezi zihlandlo zifuna ngokukhawuleza ukulandelelana. Kwixesha langaphambili, umntwana wakho uvavanya ukuba ubone ukuba uya kugcina igama lakho . Ngomhla wokugqibela, umntwana wakho ufumana ukuqonda oko kulungile nokungalunganga ngokwabo, ngoko kuyithuba elihle lokuqinisa imvakalelo yakhe kwaye ungayibhinqa phantsi kombhoxo ngesilumkiso.
Kutheni Akukho Ukuthetha?
Abantwaba ngabantu ngabantu. Uyakwazi ukuthetha nabo malunga nento abayenzile ngayo uze ube luhlaza okwesibhakabhaka ebusweni kodwa onke lawo mazwi aya kulahleka ngokupheleleyo kubo. Abazange bacubungele into yokuqala owathethileyo ngaphambi kokuba usuqhelile umgama omude. Qhubeka ixesha elide kwaye amehlo aqala ukugqitha kwaye ajikeleze. Endaweni yoko, ufuna ukusebenzisa amagama ambalwa njengoko kunokwenzeka ukuze wenze iphuzu lakho kwaye ufuna ukulandela isimiso esifanayo rhoqo. Sebenzisa amagama alulayo owaziyo ukuba umntwana wakho unokuqonda aze ayeke ukuthetha.
Ukuba umntanakho uphuma ngexesha kwaye ufanele umbuyise, yenza njalo ngaphandle kokuthetha igama. Awufuni ukumnika ingqalelo (leyo ibonakala ngathi intle kumntwana omncinci ngexesha lokuphuma nangona uthetha izinto ezimbi) kwaye awufuni ukubandakanya umntanakho kumzabalazo wamandla okanye utshintshiselwano naluphi uhlobo. Ukuba umntanakho ubona ukuba udidekile kwaye umvumela ukuba akhuphe ikhonkco kwixesha elidlulileyo, uya kukushukumisela kule nto kwakhona ngenxa yokuba unikwe iziphumo eziqinisekisiweyo. Gcina ukuzola nokulawula kwaye ungathethi.
Kubaluleka Ukulandela Ngexesha Lonke
Abancinci bezilwanyana zomkhwa kwaye baziziva bekhuselekile xa beyazi ukuba banokuxhomekeka kubadala kubantu babo ukuze baqikelele. Bafuna ukuvuka ngexesha elifanayo imihla ngemihla, bathanda i-naps ngexesha elifanayo imihla ngemihla, kwaye bayamkela ngokuqhelekileyo iinkqubo esizibekele zona njengexesha lokulala . Kuyafana noqeqesho. Xa umntwana wakho owaziyo ukuba alindele ntoni, useka isakhelo esinokusebenza ngaphakathi. Kuya kuhlala kuhlolwe imida (yinto ekukhulayo ngayo yonke into) kodwa xa umntwana wakho efunda apho loo mida ikhona khona, uya kusebenza phakathi kwayo de kubekho utshintsho oluthile.
Xa unganikezeli ukuhambelana, ufundisa umntwana wakho ukuba awunakulinganiseki kwaye oku kuya kukhwankqisa okanye kungabonakali kumntwana. Xa uthetha into enye, kodwa yenza enye, udibanisa umntwana wakho kwaye usethe umzekelo ongeke uthathwe ngelizwi lakho. Oku kwenza kube nzima ukuba umntwana wakho akwazi ukukuthemba. Xa uthi uya kwenza into kwaye awukulandeleliyo (umzekelo, ngokunika ezininzi izilumkiso, ngasinye siphela kwisithembiso sexesha esingakhange siphumelele okanye ubaleke kwi-3 kodwa u-2-na- i-2-and-half-half-quarters, kunye neekota-2 ukuya kwindlela) ngoko uthumela isigidimi ukuba awuthethi ukuba uthetha nantoni na.
Ngaphezu kwanoma yini enye, ukungabikho kokuhambisana nokulandelelana kuyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu ekuchaseni ukuziphatha kakubi kwixesha elizayo. Nangona ukuphuma kwexesha kunye nemiphumo kunzima ukunyanzeliswa ekuqaleni, ngakumbi xa ukhathele ukujongana nomntwana okhutheleyo kunye noxakeke ubomi, yazi ukuba kulula ukuba usebenzise oko. Uyakufumanisa ukuba, ngokukhawuleza, ubuninzi bakho buza kuphakanyiswa kuba akusayi kukhwaza ngokuqeqesha lonke ixesha.
Oko Ukwenza Xa Ungekho Ekhaya
Xa uhlala kwikhaya lentsapho, ekuthengeni okanye ekudleni, uqeqesho lubaluleke kakhulu. Enyanisweni, kunokuba kubaluleke ngakumbi kuba imithetho yentsapho ihlala ikhululeka kwaye ixolela ngaphezu kwemithetho yoluntu. Kukho itafile enye okanye ezimbini nabazali abaqonda ukuba kunjani ukuba nomntwana omncinci obambelele ekutyebeni kwiitora zokutyela, kodwa zonke iitheyibhile ziya kukukhangela kwizame zokukwenza ukuba wenze okuthile malunga nokuziphatha komntwana wakho . Yenza into, ufanele. Ukuba umntwana wakho uyayazi ukuba awuyi kulandela ukuqeqeshwa kude nekhaya, amathuba, uya kuba yindawo apho ungalindela ukuziphatha kwakhe okubi.
Landela, ngokusemandleni akho, amanyathelo afanayo owenzayo ekhaya. Qala ngesilumkiso: "Awuyi kuphosa ifom yakho etafileni." Fumana indawo ephumlekileyo, ephumayo, qalisa i-timer kwifowuni okanye ugcine iliso kwirejista yakho, kwaye uqinisekise ukuba umntwana wakho ugqiba ixesha elipheleleyo. Buyela etafileni ngaphandle kwenzondo okanye umsindo, ulindele ukuba umntwana wakho uya kuziphatha, kodwa ulungele ukuthatha inkokhelo xa ephinda alahlekise. Oku kuyinyaniso ngokukhawuleza amaxesha ambalwa owenza ukuba ugxininise ixesha lokuphuma ekhaya. Ufuna ukumnika isigidimi ukuba uthetha oko ukuze angavavanyi isidingo sokuvavanya.
Yaye ukhumbule, ungaziva kakubi malunga nokuyala umntwana wakho kuluntu. Uninzi lwabantu luya kuvuyisa ukuba uthatha inyathelo kwaye uya kukuhlonela. Ukuba uvumela ukwesaba kwakho abanye abantu ukuba bacinge ngobuchule bakho bokubeletha, uthumela umyalezo kumntwana wakho ukuba kukho imithetho ekhethekileyo esetyenziswayo xa uluntu kwaye enye yale mithetho kukuba nguye ophetheyo, kungekhona wena.
Njengokuba kukho imeko ezininzi zokuba ngumzali, akukho nto ifanayo-ifanayo-yonke indlela yokuziphatha komncinci. Uqeqesho olungakumbi oluluncedo lwakho oluluncedo. Abazali banokufumanisa ukuba ngaphezu koko baxhomekeke kwindlela enye, indlela engasebenzi ngayo. Xa usebenzisa ixesha, khawujonge ingqalelo indlela umntwana wakho asabela ngayo. Yiba ngokulinganayo njengoko kunokwenzeka , kodwa hlala uguquke xa ufumanisa ukuba okwenzayo akusebenzi. Unokufuna ukuzama enye yalezi zixhobo zobuncinane bokuqeqesha .